Hello dear one,
I'm really pleased that you've come today to spend some time with your fear part.
Just take a moment to settle into this present moment.
Check in with your body,
Feel maybe where your bottom is contacting.
Are you on a seat?
Are you lying down on the bed or on the settee?
Feel if your back is leaning against something.
Put your hand on your heart,
Check how's it feeling in there.
Just check how you're feeling towards this fear part.
It might be that your heart is beating more fast than usual.
Maybe you've come out of your window of tolerance.
If you've come up into hypoarousal,
You'll be in fight or flight.
And if you've dissociated,
You'll be in hypoarousal,
Which is a freeze state.
So I hope that at the end of this meditation you'll be in the window of tolerance and you'll be feeling calmer.
What really helps to get into the window of tolerance is to find a place of safety in your body.
And we can go back to that place when we feel that we're getting out of the window of tolerance.
And fear is one of those emotions that can take us very quickly out of our window of tolerance.
So yeah,
Just scan how you're feeling towards this fear part.
If there's any managers,
We can take a moment,
Or protectors of any sort.
So if you're not feeling curious about the fear part,
Or you're not feeling compassionate,
Unconnected,
Which I would imagine will be a strong possibility if you're feeling a very powerful sense of fear in your system right now.
Just check in and see,
Is there a manager part?
Is there some thinking going on?
I know I've got very effective managers that try to rescue the fear part,
Look after the fear part by finding actions that I can do.
But they'll ruminate and ruminate and it can be really hard to calm my system down when my managers are activated.
If you've got any managers,
Let's just talk to them now.
Hey managers,
Thank you so much.
I see you,
I hear you,
I know you're trying to help fear part,
You're trying to help me.
I really appreciate all your efforts,
And I know you've been doing that for quite a long time in my system.
I just want to say I'm here,
Let them know your age,
Let them know you're doing a lot of recovery healing work on yourself.
I love you manager part,
I really do,
And I'm wondering if you'd be willing to step back and trust me.
It's tiring for you to do that job.
Ask the manager part if they'd like to take a rest.
Ask them if it's hard to do that job all the time.
Taking on all that worry and trying to fix whatever situation's rising up.
If the part says it is tired and it would like to rest,
You can offer it a safe place to go and rest.
Somewhere in your imagination,
A safe house,
A safe beach,
A safe cave,
Somewhere in a forest,
Wherever is good and useful for you.
I recommend you have one or two or three of these places you can use to offer parts that are exhausted to go rest and take some time out.
Thank this manager part for all the work it's doing for me,
For you.
Now check in.
Is there another part?
How are you feeling towards this fear?
Are you curious?
If there's another protector,
Maybe a part hates it,
Maybe wants it to go away,
Doesn't want to feel this fear.
It's probably time to work with a different meditation,
Which is working with a pushing away protector.
But if you're clear that you're now ready to focus on this fear part,
Let's just take a moment to see whereabouts in your body this fear part is.
They tend often to be in the front part of the body rather than the back part.
The back part often is an area where we can find safety,
As are the feet.
What I want you to do is,
If the fear becomes overwhelming in contact,
You can press down with your feet on the floor and contact the floor with your feet.
Or if you're lying down,
You can just touch your feet with your hands.
Give them a massage,
Just to come into a feeling,
A body sensation that feels safer.
That will help you ground.
So what you can do is you can come and go from the fear part.
If it becomes overwhelming,
Go to your feet and come back to the fear part.
You can keep practising that.
It's called titration.
Sometimes some of the fear parts are from when we've had very extreme abuse.
It could be one incident or multiple incidents of abuse.
So titration will help you to stay within your window of tolerance.
Stay clear,
Calm,
Connected,
Curious,
Compassionate,
Courageous.
Creative.
So,
Let's flesh out.
We've found the fear part in the body.
Let's flesh out.
Let's find what is happening there.
What kind of size is this fear part?
What kind of shape is it?
Is there an image that comes up with it?
Is it moving?
Is it collapsing?
Is it hiding?
Wherever you can locate it,
Maybe put your hand there.
And let's let it know that we see it.
I see you,
Fear part.
Thank you for showing up.
You don't need to be afraid of me.
I want to help you.
I'm so sorry that you've had to be on your own for such a long time.
That must be really hard to be holding that on your own and not have any adults to help you.
Is it hard to hold the fear part?
Just take a moment to listen to what it has to share with you.
Sometimes it's good to get a sketch pad or a journal,
IFS journal.
And you can use some crayons just to draw the part.
Maybe you don't have the words,
But you can feel it inside you.
And maybe you can make some scribbles on a piece of paper to express the feeling.
Sometimes these fear parts are really hard to describe.
But somehow making some scribbles on paper can help express what's going on,
What it feels like.
And the kind of colours that you use can help as well.
Notice your breathing.
Notice how you feel towards this fear part right now.
Are you curious about this part?
If it's becoming overwhelming and you want to push it away,
Let's move and titrate.
Let's move to our feet.
Pushing down on the floor or giving our feet a massage.
Or we can move to a part of our back.
Somewhere that is calm,
Doesn't give you any problems.
This could be the back of your arm as well.
Upper back of your arm.
Just take a moment to settle yourself there.
Reassure your parts.
I'm here for you.
We're safe.
Look,
We can focus on a different part if it's getting too much for us.
I'm here to keep you safe now.
You're not on your own.
I love you.
I love all my parts.
I'm dedicated to being here for you.
I want to hear you.
I want to see you.
You're my number one priority now.
It may be that you've been in abusive relationships all your life.
With narcissistic people.
People who don't see you,
Don't hear you and take from you.
Manipulate you.
Lie to you to extract whatever they need from you.
You may be absolutely exhausted.
It's terrifying to wake up and realise that you've been through a lot of really difficult times.
And so it's not surprising you would have a lot of fear parts rising up.
Activated fear parts.
Let's go back to that fear part now.
And let's try and give it some loving parenting.
We can be its loving mother,
Its loving father.
It's needed this for such a long time.
Let's ask this part how old it is.
Take a moment to listen to how old it is.
When did it start feeling fear like this?
It might be that you're familiar with the story.
Or it might be something new that's rising up.
It could be an image,
A memory.
Sometime in your childhood or adulthood.
Thank the part for trusting you and sharing that image with you.
That thing that happened to you.
If it's a pre-verbal memory it might be unable to give detail.
But the location of the fear may give you some clues.
Is the fear in the pit of your stomach?
Is it in your heart?
Chest?
Is it in your colon?
Is it in your bladder?
Is it in your womb?
Vagina?
Legs?
Just note the location of this fear part.
We can ask it what it needs right now.
What do you need right now,
Fear part?
It might want to come out from that place where it's been hiding.
Or where it's been tensing up.
If it wants to come out you can offer it to come out to a safe space.
Or to be with you.
You can offer it to sit near you if it's wary or to hold your hand.
If it's a young part you can offer it to climb on your lap.
Or be held in your arms.
Take some time to give it,
Share some love and contact.
You can do halfening to help.
Just cross your arms,
Put your hands on the opposite arms and just squeeze and hold.
If this is a young part this can really help.
Same with the teenage fear part.
Can really help it to feel held and loved.
I'm here for you,
Fear part.
And I'm so glad to be able to comfort you now.
I'm so sorry you didn't get this when you were a child.
But it's never too late to start having a good childhood.
You're safe now,
We're not in that place anymore.
I really want to help you.
I'm going to protect you.
I'm not going to let anybody do anything like that to you again.
I'll get in between you and whatever person wants to violate or abuse you.
Abuse is never okay.
Just take a moment to notice how your fear part is feeling right now.
I hope the fear part is feeling a bit more loved,
Seen and heard.
It's a beautiful gift and it's one of the most amazing gifts you can give to your body and your mind.
Just to see and take time to see and hear your parts.
I would recommend you come back and repeat this meditation every day.
And once you've done it for seven days,
Just keep coming back when the fear part comes up again.
This is precious,
You are precious.
I want to say to you both,
Fear part.
We can bring the managers here too now.
They can join in the circle.
And we can say,
I'm so proud of you parts.
I'm so proud of the work you're doing.
It's good to be intimate.
This is called healthy intimacy.
I want you to know we don't need to be alone anymore.
Because we've got a healthy,
We're learning to have a healthy internal family system.
It means when we have hard feelings,
I can take the time to listen with you.
Remember you are loving,
Lovable and loved.
I look forward to spending more time with you again soon.
