Everyday Mindfulness Show: Living The Life You’re “Not” Supposed To Have With Simone Milasas

“True leadership is knowing where you are heading and not allowing anyone to stop you. You have to know what you wish to create.” - Simone Milasas
Questions that Holly explores with Simone:

What if your business was something that you loved and you could make money and an impact?
How do we self sabotage ourselves?
What are some of the things you did to attract more money into your life?
What would it take for more money to show up?
How do you build your support network?

Transcript

Welcome to the Everyday Mindfulness Show where we educate and inspire people to live fuller lives through mindful practices.

Let's get started with your host,

New York Times contributor,

Leadership advisor,

Sought after keynote speaker,

The author of the Amazon hot new release,

Everyday Mindfulness from chaos to calm in a crazy world,

She's smart,

Strong,

Sassy,

And a trendsetter in the field of mindful leadership.

Your host,

Holly Duckworth.

To another episode of the Everyday Mindfulness Show where we get to have real authentic conversations with men and women living mindful lives and exploring what is possible.

And today I am bringing to you Simone Mylis,

Who is an access consciousness trainer,

A world renowned author with books that have touched every continent.

Simone,

Welcome to the show.

Thank you.

Thank you so much,

Holly.

Thank you for having me.

So when we were exploring all of the directions we could go,

Simone,

It was quite fun to explore because I think there's a theme that moves through your work,

Which is living the life you're not supposed to have.

And it's so sad,

I think,

That society's consciousness tells us do X,

Do Y,

And do Z.

And yet your life experience,

Your teaching helps people to access their own consciousness and create the lives that they love.

Yeah.

Well,

I mean,

The way I see it,

It's like,

You know,

This is your life.

It's like,

Are you living it?

Like even when I was at high school,

I remember,

You know,

People that I went to school with were talking about going to college,

Getting married,

Having kids.

And I was like,

Oh my God,

I've got to go explore the world.

And I haven't stopped exploring the world and haven't stopped choosing what it is I'd like to choose.

And I see so many people limit themselves based on,

You know,

Their age based on being a male,

Female,

It's like the family,

Etc.

And what if you never had to limit your choices and what if everything was available?

Well,

And as we were prepping for the show,

You said something else that I really loved and it was that you were always enthused about joy and business.

And even that simple statement for a lot of people is contradictory because many of us grow up in this world that work has to be hard work has to be hard work has to be hard.

And whether you choose an entrepreneurial path or a traditional job or,

Or however you make the choice,

I love your invitation there to think about joy and business together.

Yeah,

Well,

So many people have a definition of what business should be.

I mean,

One of the first businesses I ever started,

I was importing and exporting from Nepal and Thailand,

Tibet,

India,

Etc.

And then I was living in Sydney,

Australia,

And I'd work at the markets,

And I think really good money,

Like every weekend,

And my friends used to say to me who worked in the corporate world,

When are you going to get a real job?

And I was like,

What do you mean get a real job?

I was like,

I'm earning like at least three times more than you.

I have more time,

You know,

Quote unquote off.

It's like there's more joy in my world.

And for me,

I was like,

Why would you choose to do something if it wasn't joyful for you?

Now,

I didn't realize that this was an odd point of view until Gary Douglas,

The founder of access consciousness pointed it out to me.

And he said,

You do realize that that's not the way everyone thinks.

And I was like,

I don't get it.

Why would they do something if they didn't,

You know,

Find the joy in it?

So I ended up,

You know,

Doing some seminars on it.

And I still do seminars on Joe business,

And I ended up writing the book.

And it's funny.

It's called joy business,

As you said,

And it's translated into 16 languages and every single language,

They contact me and go,

We need some help translating the title joy of business because it doesn't make sense in our language.

And I go,

Don't worry,

It doesn't make sense in English either.

It's like,

Like you said,

Those three words that go together joy of business.

That's not what you're supposed to have.

You know,

Business in this reality is something you're supposed to complain about.

You know,

You get to Friday,

And it's like,

Oh,

My God,

The end of the week.

And to me,

It's like,

What if business was something that you really enjoyed doing,

That you could make an impact in your life,

Other people's lives and in the world and receive money from it?

What if it was way easier than what you think?

I want to give the listener a little backstory on you.

And we'll provide your full bio in the show notes.

But there's there's a quote on your website from you that is so profound,

And it's nobody should have money problems.

And yet,

As you start to unpack your story,

You're very authentic,

Stating that you had $187,

000 in debt at one point of your life.

And you made the conscious choice that you were going to have this life that you weren't supposed to have meaning you're going to choose to have a debt free life.

Yeah,

I'm gonna Yeah,

Good.

Well,

I mean,

I've got I've got lots of debt now.

But I've got millions of dollars in debt,

Because I've got lots of investments.

That's a different debt,

Though.

Exactly.

Yeah.

To me,

There's the debt that you're creating wealth creation.

And then there's the debt that you're like,

You know,

I don't want to know about it.

And it's like,

When you avoid your bills,

And you avoid being aware of your financial reality.

So yeah,

I was 187,

000 Australian dollars in debt.

And you couldn't tell like I,

You know,

I wasn't one of those people who was like,

Oh,

My God,

And doing the trauma and drama of no money.

I still I lived this,

You know,

Great life,

I would,

You know,

Someone would be like,

Let's go to Melbourne for the weekend.

I'd be like,

Great,

Let's do that.

Like I never sort of lived from lack or scarcity.

But what I realised was,

I wasn't willing to be aware of my finances.

So when I finally sat down and went,

You know what,

Simone,

You need to start looking at this.

So I did.

And I sat down in my office and got everything looked online at my bank accounts,

Got all my bills,

Like,

Sat down with that with a glass of wine also,

By the way,

And sat down with everything and figured out what I actually owed.

And then I realised that I was waiting for someone to come along and go,

It's okay and wave their magic wand and take everything away.

When I realised that wasn't going to happen,

That I needed to change,

I needed to make some choices that were going to be different,

To create a different result and different possibilities showing up.

I made that demand that no matter what it took,

No matter what it looked like,

I would get myself out of debt and actually start to create money.

And can I say,

There's some insane points of view that come up when you start to look at this,

Because it's the insane points of view that lock you up.

It's not the logical ones.

If you could create everything with your logical mind,

You'd have everything you ever desired.

You hit these walls and these barriers where you have some insane point of view that stops you from creating more and asking for more and receiving more.

I absolutely connect to this.

And I think it's really interesting because you also talk about energetically allowing money into your life.

And I think that's sometimes one of those things we don't talk about is how we self sabotage the allowing.

We may have this big vision that we're going to be a multimillionaire,

But yet when $10 shows up in our world,

We can't allow that to happen.

So you have this article that I was really enjoying,

And it was this idea of 10 things you can do in your life to attract more money.

And I would love to hear what are some of those things that you did to attract money into your life?

Well,

One of the things that I would say,

The first thing that comes up for me is to change your point of view.

Because so many people have a point of view about money and it's not even theirs.

For instance,

When I grew up,

We were told,

Don't talk about money at the dinner table.

It's rude.

But I was always like,

Why not?

It's like,

Why can't we talk about it?

So if you grow up with a point of view from your family about money,

What I would ask is start to look at that and ask,

If I was creating my financial reality,

What would it be?

Like,

What's your reality around money?

Not everybody else's.

And most of the time,

Wherever you live,

It's like you'll end up having the same point of view from everyone in your suburb,

In your city,

Rather than,

Okay,

If I was creating my financial reality,

What would I choose?

There's also the place where I see so many people ask for more money to show up.

And all it takes is you ask for more money to show up,

You go to a restaurant,

You look at the menu and you think,

Oh,

I'd love to get the lobster and champagne.

And the second you go,

I can't afford that,

You've just uninvited money.

So that was one of the tools that I used a lot.

At the end of each day,

I would have a look at everywhere that I've uninvited money,

Because you're so quick to ask for it and you're so quick to uninvite it.

Now I'm not saying you have to go order the lobster and the champagne,

But what you could do is go,

Okay,

I get it.

I would like to have lobster and champagne.

In this moment,

I can't afford that.

What would it take to create the money that I can?

Ask a question.

So often we don't go to question,

We go to answer and we go to a conclusion and go,

That's not possible.

The second you say that's not possible,

It's not possible.

You just created,

It's not possible.

If you ask a question,

All right,

What else is possible?

How does it get any better than this?

What would it take for more money to show up?

And I've got to say also a really key point for me is the receiving.

And you can do this with a cup of coffee.

It's like,

How many times does someone offer to buy you something and you go,

No,

No,

I've got it.

Or you go,

You know,

No,

I'll get this round or,

You know,

Or you don't receive it.

Next time someone offers to buy you a meal,

A drink,

A coffee,

Anything,

Take a moment and go,

Thank you.

That'd be great.

And not from this give and take program where then you go,

Now I need to buy this for them.

You just receive.

Simone,

I love that one of them on this list that I wanted to bring into the show was have allowance.

And I read that in a very different energy than I might have read it previously.

Because I think sometimes we think of allowance as having just a budget of,

You know,

An allowance of how much you're going to spend.

But the way you've written it here,

I want to highlight for the listeners is what you just were talking about having an allowing nature to allow money experiences good to come into your world.

And 2019 that was my word of the year was allow.

And I can't even tell you how many things I had to allow for good and for interesting in my life.

But I really wanted to make sure to highlight that.

And I love that you kind of did that.

Yeah,

Yeah.

And it's like an allowance for everything and everyone.

And it's like,

And being allowance for when things show up and being allowance for when things don't show up.

Because so often if we if we decide that it should look a certain way,

And not one day in your entire life shows up the way you think it's going to show up,

Right?

Exactly.

So when things don't show up the way you you have decided it should show up,

Then so many people go to the judgment and then go to the conclusion of something is wrong.

What if nothing was wrong?

And what if one of the questions you asked is what's right about this I'm not getting,

Which has that energy of being an allowance for whatever shows up.

I mean,

If you look at business,

For example,

And then you've decided that,

You know,

You should have X amount of clients or do you know,

X amount of sales or whatever the business it is that you're in.

And it doesn't show up like that.

How many people go to the wrongness and look at what they didn't do,

Rather than what did occur that they have not yet acknowledged.

And that occurs all the time.

I mean,

You talk about $10.

It's like,

You know,

How many people get $10 in their life.

And what they do is,

Instead of being grateful for that $10,

They go,

Oh,

Why isn't it?

Why isn't that $100?

Yeah,

You know what,

You got to be grateful for that $10 because then that $10 can grow.

It's it's really that simple.

It's like that's the way it works.

I mean,

I would I love this to you,

You have to be able to find joy in creating from chaos.

And our book for the show is called everyday mindfulness from chaos to calm in a crazy world.

And,

You know,

Everybody's starting to sense the you know,

2020 more more stuff is coming at us in 2020 with with change around the globe.

So I love that idea of using your intuitive questions in the chaos with curiosity and discovery to create from that energy.

Yeah.

And it's it's such a fine line too,

Because people go,

No,

I don't want to create chaos.

Why not?

You know,

Nature functions from chaos,

And it's like,

And it keeps expanding,

You know.

So there's a difference between chaos and frantic.

It's like,

I'm not talking about being frantic.

It's like,

If you instill chaos in your life,

If you instill chaos in your business in your money flows,

Then what it does,

It takes you out of that linearity that it must look a certain way,

And then allows all the possibilities to show up and then you get to choose.

It's like a banquet.

I mean,

This is really old movie called Auntie Mame.

And there's this one line in it that I absolutely love.

She says,

She says,

Life is a banquet.

And she said,

There's people starving to death.

Because it is it's like the universe offers so much.

And then you go,

Nope,

I can't have that I can only have this because that's what I grew up with.

That's my culture.

That's my religion.

That's my race.

That's because I'm a female or a male or,

You know,

Whatever it is,

The definition that you've decided you are,

What if you had no definition?

And what if everything you've been taught,

And everything that you thought was real ended up being a lie?

What would you choose?

What would you create?

I love having trailblazing women like you on the show,

Because you inspire others through your your life to say living the life you're not supposed to have.

And especially I think us women we get told,

You know,

Do x,

Do y,

Do z,

Here's the box fit in the box.

And you've said,

I lovingly don't accept that box,

And I'm going to create something different.

So this is so this book is getting out of debt joyfully.

But I also want to want to talk a little bit about your most recent book,

Because it's another example that when we utilize our tools of consciousness,

And we decide to make the choices and create the life that we want to have,

We have to do that in relationship.

There's personal relationships,

Professional relationships,

And your your latest book is relationships.

Are you sure you want one with Brendan Watt,

And that that book started out with you being in relationship and then that relationship dynamic changing and that's an example of willingness to have a new new life and a new expression.

So I'm curious,

What inspired you to write the book?

And what did you learn from it?

And how can we use that as empowered women in the world?

Well,

What inspired Brendan and I to write the book is I mean,

We travel around the world doing seminars,

And a lot of people would comment on our relationship and how great our relationship was and the ease that we had with it.

So again,

They were like,

How are you doing this?

You know,

So we started doing some different seminars on relationship.

And then we thought,

Let's put it into a book.

And the book is really vulnerable.

Like we tell a lot of stories about our relationship and how we created it and the tools you know,

That we use from Access Consciousness to create it.

And sometimes,

You know,

It the tools that we use,

You didn't,

I didn't want to use them.

But I knew that they would work.

Like I'll give you an example.

I remember one time I was a little bit cranky at Brandon,

Don't even remember why.

And we have a house across the road from the beach.

And I went across the road to the beach and I was like cranky at him and I wanted I wanted to be cranky,

You know,

And Gary,

A friend of mine from Access rang me and said,

Hey,

What's up?

And I told him,

He said,

You need to go home and make everything about him.

Now that's the last thing I wanted to do was make everything about him.

I was cranky at him.

I knew that I've used the access tools in different areas of my life and things have changed.

So I went,

All right,

I'm going to give this a shot.

So I went home,

I walked in the house,

And I just started making everything about him,

Asking him how he was,

What was going on for him,

Etc.

And then within 10 minutes,

Holly,

It was amazing.

He's like,

Hey,

Can I fix you a drink?

Can I cook you dinner tonight?

What would you like to eat?

You know,

And I was like,

Oh,

My God,

This stuff works.

You know,

So one of the tools that we do talk about,

If you're going to create a great relationship,

You need to be willing to make everything about the other person.

And I see so many times in relationship,

People always want it to be about them.

And it's like,

That doesn't make it work.

It doesn't make it actually expand.

So we had a great relationship for eight years,

There's a lot of great tools in that book,

If you desire to create a great relationship.

And then as the book was being launched,

Which was pretty hysterical,

We were breaking up our relationship.

So we've got a new book that we're working on.

It's not even close to finishing yet.

But it's called breaking up is easy ish.

Because again,

People are watching what we're doing and and how we're being with each other.

And we liked each other.

So it's like,

You know,

We're not looking to have animosity with each other after the relationship broke up.

But I think a lot of the times people will continue a relationship because they'd rather be in a bad one,

Then be single.

And can I say I'm having an absolute ball at the moment and and not in a relationship and discovering something new.

And I think that's got to do with like,

The life you're not meant to live like,

You know,

Being in a relationship with Brennan for eight years and being in my 40s,

You're meant to stay in that relationship.

Like that's what this reality says,

Oh,

This is it.

This is the one now you meant to what get rocking chairs.

Whereas I'm like,

I just turned 50.

And I'm like,

Wow,

My last year has been awesome and amazing.

And now what else is possible?

I think you've got to keep asking for more.

There's never this place where it goes down.

I mean,

I wouldn't want my 20s for anything.

I would definitely not desire to go back to that.

Yeah,

And we'll link the shows together.

I had a great chat with Brennan about this too,

That there the whole idea of relationship too has to start from you having a healthy relationship with yourself.

And that's why I wanted to kind of feature all three of the pieces of work that you're doing here.

Because that joy of business was about you getting clear about what you wanted to create in your life that the your relationship with money is very important and how you utilize those things in not only your your intimate relationships,

Your personal relationships,

But that that knowingness of yourself became the foundation for all of the relationships and the things that you're going to grow going forward.

Yeah.

And then and then what else?

So that was actually my next question.

Simone,

What what else?

What's,

What's the question you're asking yourself to expand or grow your life in 2020 and beyond?

Okay,

So thank you for asking that.

This is I go through,

You know,

Phases of asking different things.

And I often quite often put a question or something on my phone that goes up every day,

So that I can because I'm asking for change every single day,

I'm asking to have more freedom with my choices every single day.

So one of the questions I'm asking at the moment is,

What is my reality?

And how do I find it?

And putting that into everything.

So you can say,

You know,

What is my reality in with relationships with sex?

It's like with business with money,

And how do I find it?

Because so often we use other people,

Or what something has been done before as a reference point to create our life today.

And what if we had no reference points for the future?

What if it was it?

What if the future showed up upon your request and upon your question,

And what you were willing to receive?

And to me,

That hasn't existed yet.

So I'm like,

Let's go.

There's so much more available.

So how do you build your own network of support around you?

Like you're,

You're a trailblazer on some level,

People might actually call you a rebel.

And yet,

You too need need support.

So what are the tools and resources that you're using to help you consciously every day,

Move a little bit beyond what society says our rules should be?

I have,

I have an amazing amount of really brilliant people around me I have.

We don't call it a team,

We call it a gaggle,

Because quite often the terminology of a team,

There's this leader,

And then everyone looks towards the leader of what next to choose.

But if you look at a gaggle of birds,

Quite often a gaggle of birds,

What they do is they fly.

And there's one bird that flies in front.

And then when they get tired,

And they fly in the stream,

They go to the back and someone else comes forward.

So we don't have a team,

We have a gaggle.

I love it takes the lead in different areas.

Yeah,

It's like a different perspective on business as well,

Which,

You know,

We do business done different classes,

Do the relationship done different classes.

I do the choice of possibilities classes around the world,

My schedule for 2020 is super busy,

Even going to places like Venezuela next year,

Which they really want me to go there.

And they said,

We're going to get you an armored car and a security guard so that you can,

You know,

Get in there.

And I was like,

They said,

Will you come?

And I was like,

Yes,

Let's do it.

Because I would like to create change in any area of the world that they're asking for it in,

You know,

The willingness to receive it.

So I've got my gaggle,

I've got,

You know,

Gary Douglas,

The founder of Access Dane here,

Brendan,

Like,

You know,

My ex,

It's like,

He's I speak to him nearly every day,

It's like,

We are a huge support for each other.

So I,

You know,

With Access Consciousness and all the people we work with,

We have people all over the world,

I have some great assistance,

You know,

One here,

One lives in Cairns,

One in the US,

It's like everywhere.

So keep gathering the people to,

You know,

Create more.

Well,

I'm so grateful that you reached out to be on the show.

And we want to be a part of helping you to create more.

So what's the best way to get more you?

You know what,

We just actually launched this program today.

And it's called just start.

And it's on my website,

Simone Melissa's.

Com.

That's Simone,

M-I-L-A-S-A-S.

Com.

You can also go to accessconsciousness.

Com and find me there too.

There's,

I have a lot of telecalls and I mean,

I just did one this past week,

And you can get it on my website.

And it's called I need a man,

Which was hysterical because it brought up so much stuff.

People were like,

I don't need a man.

And I was like,

You might want to have a look at the energy of the whole thing and the willingness to receive from men,

From men and you know,

All the other sex,

Whatever it is that you're after,

You know,

It was a really vulnerable call that we did.

So I do lots of zooms.

I do lots of telecalls.

I have seminars all over the world.

So Simone Melissa's.

Com and accessconsciousness.

Com.

You can find out,

You know what I'm doing there and also grab the books on Amazon.

Start with that.

Fantastic.

We're going to put all of those links in the show notes.

Simone,

I hope you'll come back and join us for another episode because like you said,

There's so much more,

More we could talk about,

But in the meantime,

We just want to,

We want to invite people to utilize these tools,

Grab the books and stay open to the possibilities that you can choose the life that you love.

Yes.

Thank you so much for having me.

Remember mindful matters and so do you.

We'll see you on another episode.

Thank you for joining us for today's show.

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