Healthy Boundaries – Align With Your Needs

Henrik designs custom-made meditations for individuals, both online and in-person. In 2024, he held this role at the Swedish Course Center Ängsbacka, and this recording is from one of his sessions.

This particular meditation is designed to enhance your ability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries by focusing on your own needs. It is especially beneficial for individuals with a history of co-dependency or who often find themselves in the presence of dominant personalities.

The benefits of such a practice are supported by extensive research. For example, Brown et al. (2020) demonstrated that individuals who engage in boundary-setting practices, such as those reinforced by mindfulness meditation, report significantly lower levels of stress and anxiety. These individuals are also more likely to experience higher self-esteem and improved relationship satisfaction (Thompson & Boden, 2019, Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 42(3), 456-468).

Transcript

Take a few deep breaths with your belly. Notice what it feels like when you breathe out. Can you feel your relaxation as you breathe out? It's measurable how you increase your relaxation as you breathe out. The heart rate variability is decreasing. And in the same way, You get energized when you breathe in. Can you sense that energizing of your body? And how does it feel to be you right now? Do you have a feeling somewhere in your chest, Your belly, Or somewhere else? And what is it like for you to have that feeling in your body? This unique experience of being you, Called qualia, That is impossible to explain to someone else. What is it like to experience being you right now? Being in this observing you, Notice how you have been observing your feelings in your body. Observe the next thoughts that occur. Notice how you can be in this observing you, Just observing the thinking you and the emotional you. Notice that that observing you is a place which you have always had in your system and that will always stay with you as a place available for you. Notice how the thoughts and feelings are not filling you and grasping you when you are in this observing you. Think of a situation where you set boundaries clearly. Imagine being back in that memory. Visualize what you see in front of you while you are in this memory. Do you hear any sounds in this memory? Any smells? Any taste? Is there anyone else in this memory? Visualize the face of this person. Feel into what qualities in you are coming alive and shining in this memory. Do these qualities have a place somewhere in your body, A shape, A surface, A color? Visualize how they start to glow in this color, Sending waves of light filling your belly. Can you feel your belly being filled with this light, With these qualities? Visualize your belly glowing with this color. Visualize this color going down through your hips, Filling that whole area, Glowing and starting to fill your legs all the way down to the toes. Can you feel the color and those qualities in your strong legs and in your feet? Visualize the belly glowing with this color, Wave after wave, Sent out to this chest. Feel how every corner of your heart is filled with this color. It's glowing and spreading waves all the way to the fingertips. Waves of this color filling your throat and neck, Filling your whole head. Your whole body starts to glow with this color. Can you feel those qualities filling your whole body? The color is spreading to the world around you, You're beaming it. The world around you lights up in the same color and reflects it back to you. Visualize standing in this memory where you set this boundary and being filled with this light. How does it feel to be in that memory? Notice that you have these qualities inside you and that they will always be part of you. Being in this memory, Can you feel that you are with yourself rather than with anyone else's feeling? Notice this ability you have to be with yourself. Being in this memory, Is there anything you would like to communicate to your current version of yourself? Visualize communicating that to your current version of yourself. It could be through words, Through a hug, Energetically or any way you find suitable. Notice if a message is coming from yourself in this memory to your current version of yourself in the form of a sankara, A mantra, A sentence that you can use in presence saying something like I have the ability to be with me. I am worth to be with me. It's safe to feel my feelings or whatever suits you. If you have a short sentence, Repeat that three times in your head. Now come back to your current version of yourself. Visualize receiving these messages from your previous version of yourself. Is it possible to open up to let go and fully receive this message? How does it feel to have received this message? Being in your current version of yourself, Can you still feel these qualities that you had in this memory? Can you still visualize them as a color or on a place in your body? Knowing that you have these qualities, How does it feel to know that you have those qualities in you? Can you feel the color of these qualities filling your body? Visualize how you're glowing of these qualities. Take a few more deep breaths with your belly. Notice how you relax and receive these messages as you breathe out. Notice how your breath in is empowering you, Giving you strength and energy. You can continue focusing on your breathing for as long as you like. The meditation has come to an end.