Processing Life Experiences - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

Are you processing your life experiences in a way that empowers you or disempowers you? Are you becoming more fearful or more confident? I dive into this in detail here!

Released on Monday, June 22nd.

Transcript

Welcome to Life, Lessons & Laughter with your host, Glenn Ambrose. Hello, Everybody. Welcome to. . . My show. All right, So. Today I was just, Uh, I was just out for a walk with faith and I, For some reason start contemplating this. And. . . So. How do I jump into the middle of this topic that I've been contemplating? Where do I begin? So what I'm what I'm talking about here, What I'm contemplating is how we process life experiences, You know, And it's, Oh, There's my confirmation bell. Can you guys hear that? That's my mindfulness bell that goes off randomly throughout the day. There's one more. Hopefully you guys can hear that. I'll bring my phone over here. Um. . . Actually, I think I'll mute my phone. But yeah, As we go through life, You know, The interesting aspect of it is that I mean, Pretty early on, We've gathered a lot of experiences. Um. . . Not in relation to how many experiences we're going to gather. You know, Later on in life, Of course, You know, Like when somebody that's 17 years old goes, You know, They think they know what's going on. I mean, Really think about teenagers when you were a teenager, Teenagers, You know, They kind of that they think they know what life's about, Right? Well, Why? Why would they possibly think that? You know, A lot of people are like, Well, Because they're stupid. No, It's not because they're stupid. It's because they've gathered life experiences and compared to when there were five compared to when there were 12 or 14, They have had a fair amount of experiences and you're very much a sponge when you're young. So you've taken them all in. You start organizing them in your head. You start deciding ways of being. You start locking them in. You start gaining your own perspectives and your own ways of looking at things. Developing that right. And as a general rule, It's based on your past experiences. So When you're 17, 18 years old, The like, You've actually already accrued enough experiences where you can start seeing patterns. You can start noticing what works, What doesn't work now. Does that compare to the life experiences of somebody that's 30 or 40 or 60 or 80? No, Of course not. It's not a contest. So. My point is, At these ages, We've had life experiences. And when I was younger, I noticed that It was all about having the experiences and I wasn't really afraid of anything. You know, Like if. You know, Me and my friends would be like, Hey, You know, I grew up in Massachusetts. Let's let's go to Hampton Beach in New Hampshire. It's like, Yeah, Let's go. We weren't sitting there going, Well, The car that we're driving. Barely makes it across town without breaking down. What if the car breaks down? What are we going to do? We have no money. Or, Or what are we going? What are we going to do for food? We don't have any money. Or, You know, Like, How are we going to get back? Do we have gas money? Like we didn't we didn't worry about anything. We just figured we'd deal with it as it happened. And we always found a way and it was part of the adventure. You know, And, And somewhere along the way, I believe what happens is, You know, The first 20 times you get stuck with your friends. And you don't know what to do, It's an adventure. After 40 times, It starts becoming annoying. Right. Like you start sometimes, You know, It isn't all that fun and you have a negative experience. So you kind of. Put in your brain like, I don't want to experience that again. I think I'm going to start thinking things through a little bit more rather than just flying by the seat of my pants, Which is nothing wrong with that. That's learning from your life experience, Right? So we do that. And what I've noticed is as we get older and older, There's so much going on in our lives, Especially through that period where you're raising children and you're in the midst of your career or starting a business, Whatever it may be for you and dealing with relationships. And like that, That's the busiest period of our lives. And life is so fast nowadays that you're just, Doggy paddling to try to keep your head above water. Like I remember when my son was young, Just going, I wonder what it would like to, Would feel like to be bored. Like, I don't even remember what it's like to be bored. I just, I would like to experience the sensation of boredom for just like, 30 seconds just to remember what it was like. And, You know, Plus, You know, The the other aspect of that being so busy and and just hoping nothing goes wrong because you're so busy. If something goes wrong, It wrecks 13 things that you have lined up. So, You know, Then you got to figure out damage control and how to figure it out. I mean, This is the pace of life that we live. It's too fast. We need to slow down. That's another podcast. Okay. Stay on topic. So then you have children and you got to think ahead for them too, Because they're not thinking ahead. So like, You know, Oh, We're going to go somewhere in the afternoon. Well, Is it going to get cold later? You know, Like, Um, Oh, We have the dog with us. Okay, Well, Should I bring a bowl so I can get water somewhere for the dog? Like, You know, So is it going to get cold later? So I need to bring a sweatshirt. Do I need to bring a pair of pants too? Because we're in shorts, Like, Is that going to be a thing? Do I have insect repellent? Are we going out in the woods? Like all this stuff you're constantly thinking. And planning and trying to prepare for everything. So not only are you prepared, But if anything goes wrong, Then you can handle it, You know, And it's this thinking ahead stuff. And trying to avoid problems. And it seems like that becomes a preoccupation through that period of life. And I've noticed that, You know, I do this sometimes and I'm sure other, I see lots of other people doing it too. Like our whole life becomes about avoiding something that we don't like. It's just a habit. We're very habitual beings. We get into these habits, You know, And they lock in and we just go. You know, I've noticed that, You know, Sometimes I'm just rehearsing things in my head, Trying to hope that did I think out. Everything. You know, I remember when my son was young one time. One time we're leaving the house and we're going somewhere that was in town. You know, I don't remember where it might have been. It was probably a soccer game or something, You know, But we're going someplace that wasn't too far away. And, Um, I'm like, You know, Do you have to go to the bathroom? You know, The parent question, Because usually five minutes after you leave the house, They have to go to the bathroom and there isn't one around. So I'm like, You have to go to the bathroom. No. Of course, The answer is always no. So you have to ask a second time. Wait, Wait, And then you have to get their attention. You have to look at them and you have to go, Wait. Are you sure? Do you want to try to go to the bathroom? Because there isn't going to be one when we leave the house, You know, And then it slows their mind down. Then they can go, Well, Yeah. Okay. Or if they hesitate, You're like, Oh, Wait a minute. See, They might have to go, But they don't really feel like it. So I'm going to make them try now. So then if they have to, They will. Okay. You got to try. You got to try. This is parenting, Right? Especially, Especially helicopter parenting, Which most of us are guilty of, Including me. I tried not to be, But I still was in many areas. So this is how we live and we get into this habit, Right? What I've noticed is whatever we're not conscious of takes us over on an unconscious level. So I've noticed that like, You know, In my life, It's very like, I can control a lot of things because it's just me. So like, And my dog. I'm in control. So, So like there's not a lot of bartering, Whatever I think is right is what happens. And you know, I try to plan things and whatever. And what I've noticed is that when I stop and I look at sometimes how I'm living my life or some of the thoughts that are going through my head, That I'm trying to, I'm spending a lot of mental energy trying to avoid problems. And I'm white. When did that start? Where did it come from? On a daily basis, It's not too much of a problem. In my particular life, You got to check your life to see if it's a problem in your everyday activities. But what I noticed where it is a problem is in the bigger things. Like. Like what drives it, Right? So I'm looking at my life experiences and I'm going, Wait a minute, Am I spending most of my energy? Trying to avoid problems because of my past experiences. Or am I using my past experiences to empower myself? Right, So. You can kind of, There's multiple doors you can go in to look at this. Like one is comparing confidence and insecurity. What is more dangerous, Confidence or insecurity? Insecurity is dramatically more dangerous because insecurity is where you end up If you experience too much of it, You end up doing something you shouldn't do. Honey? Confidence, If you're confident in a situation, You're calm, You're thinking clearly, And you don't usually do things that are inappropriate or aren't going to work out well because you're comfortable and you're calm in those situations. Right? So if we're using our past experiences, To build our confidence. We're good. If we're using our past experiences to build our insecurities, We're not. So if we look at our past experiences, You can, You know, You got to go within and just. Contemplate this, Ask yourself some questions, See where you are. With this. And if you're using your past experiences to to avoid experiencing anything that you don't like, And that's your main thing, Then you're feeding your insecurities because you're like, Oh, I experienced that once I'm trying to control reality. So I don't experience this again. That's where it gets dangerous. And this is kind of the habit that most people get into. It's like they're just constantly looking around. Oh, Like. You know, Let me, I want to make sure I don't experience anything that I don't like. And we start building our own prison that way because we experience less and less and less. But the opposite is if we use our past experiences to build our confidence with life, Then we're going to be more at ease instead of more scared. You know, This is kind of, You can also look at it like ego or true self, Like the ego, Is basically a. The ego's job is to keep you safe, Right? That's why it's always looking for problems. If you built a robot to keep you safe, What would you program it to look for? You would program it to look for problems. Why? Because that's what you need protection from. So the ego isn't looking for things to go right, It's looking for things that might go wrong so it can warn you of them and protect you from them. So this is what happens when the ego is running our lives. We're constantly looking What might go wrong? Well, I'm not going to do that because I don't want to experience that. And we don't need to do that all the time, Especially when we get a little older. I'm not going to go stick my hand in a light socket just to find out what happens. It's, You know, I know what happens. It ain't pleasant. So I'm not going to do it. Like, So we don't have to walk around constantly trying to make sure we don't experience anything. We don't like it ruins the journey. You know, So if we look at our past experiences, Like if I look at my past experiences, You know, I was young, Crazy, Wild, Alcoholic, Experienced tremendous amounts of suffering all through a large portion of my life. So if I look at that and I go, Oh, I want to make sure I don't experience any suffering. So I got to make sure I don't do that. And I don't do that. Of course, I'm not going to do the same stuff. I'm not the same person. I don't think like that. So I don't really have to protect myself from that stuff. You know, It's wasted energy. But if I look at my past and I go more general. And I go, Look at all the stuff that I made it through. I made it through 20 years of alcoholism. You know, I made it through. Years of bullying. I made it through thinking, You know, Lack of self-love, Lack of self-esteem. I made it through homelessness. I made it through moving countries. I made it through 18 years of family court. I made it through single parenting. I made it through, I made it through all these things, Right? If I use that to build my confidence, Regular life is a piece of cake. I don't have to walk around worried. I don't have to walk around trying to protect myself from every little thing that can go wrong. We need to relax a little bit. And live. In a more relaxed, Confident state. You know, So look at your life, Look at all the things that you've made it through. And if you process it in a way where you're like, Oh my God, That was horrible. Oh no, I, I gotta make sure I don't experience that. That was horrible. Oh, I made it. Oh, And then that happened. Oh, That was horrible. Oh, I don't want to go through that again. Oh, And I made it through this. Oh no, That was nightmare. I don't, I can't go through that again. You're just scaring the crap out of yourself. Health. And all you're going to do is you're going to spend all your energy out of fear to protect yourself from these things. Life has its ups and downs. We're going to go through things and there's nothing that you're going to do to prevent some of the worst things that you go through in your life. You can't prevent them. Like you. What are you going to do? To make sure that they don't happen. You know, I mean, The only way to make sure you never get divorced and have to go through family court is to never get married. So now you're not going to get married. You're going to fall in love and you're going to be too scared to get married because you're too scared to get divorced because like it's Like we can't live our lives like that. There's no freedom there. There's no experiences there. It's a wasted life. You know, I don't want to get to the end of my life and go like, Okay, I experienced is little. Is possible because I was too scared to go through anything difficult. Where's the fun in that? You know? I want to come sliding in sideways doing mock 10 with my hair on fire going, Woo. That was a ride. You know, Get your experiences. It's okay if something, You know, Don't make stupid decisions. You know, Like, I mean. . . Yeah. You know, Don't just, I mean, I did a lot of that when I was younger and that's just foolishness. You know. Like, I mean, It's, It's Yeah. I used to do stuff, Just screw it. I mean, I remember I was in my twenties and I was trying to figure out how to stop. Getting into so much trouble. I was talking with a an old friend of mine the other day and and we're talking about it and i remember us sitting down when we're probably in our early twenties or something and we had just gotten into you know some some something big happened like you know we Who knows, We got arrested or we got into a big fight. You know, Barroom brawl, Or we got thrown out of somewhere, Something happened. A car accident, Who knows, We got it, Something happened, You know, And we're like, Man, And people were like, You know, You got like, This type of stuff happens a lot with you guys, You know, And we're, We're talking about it one day and we're, We're like, Yeah, Man, It seems like we can only go so like long a period of time without something major happening. You know. Something dysfunctional that's pretty major. And we're thinking about it, And we're recounting the things, And we decided that it was about two weeks. We're like, Yeah, We got about a two-week window. It seems like about every two weeks, Something pretty large happens. Um. . . Which that's pretty bad. We were. That's not a good thing. Um But I do have a lot of stories because of it. However, So you don't want to live like that. But all the stuff I made it through, The idea that I might be nervous to experience something that might be a little bit difficult is absurd. The amount of things that I've experienced in my life that are difficult, I mean, I should be tiptoeing through the tulips like I don't have a care in the world, Because what could possibly lay me out? And I'm not saying that there isn't something that could knock me. I mean, Of course there is. But what am I going to do? Spend my life worried, Trying to avoid it. There's nothing like anything that could clean me out and really bring me to my knees. There is zero that I could do to avoid that. I don't do, I don't live foolishly. I don't do stupid things. So unless you're, You're just plain foolish and you know, Like when I was in my early twenties, Just, Just, You know, I mean that. If I thought it back then, I did it. Very rarely did I look at the consequences. And if I did look at the consequences back then, I was like, Eh, If it happens, I'll deal with it. So there was really nothing stopping me. Now I actually have this head and the brain within it actually works. You know, You gotta be. . . You gotta be really young and really careless. To experience some of the things that I didn't do it. What I mean by that is it wasn't an accident. I wasn't walking through life, Making good choices. And then all of a sudden, You know, There was these major jackpots every two weeks. And I was like, Oh, My goodness, This is so weird. You know, Like, No, I lived a lifestyle that induced those jackpots every two weeks. I made decisions that drove those jackpots every two weeks. It wasn't a mystery to try to figure out why this stuff was happening to me. You know And they're not going to happen to me now because I would never make those decisions again. So I don't have to design my life trying to avoid them. It's fear-based living. Right? So what I'm saying is that it's very important how we process our life experiences. So if you're looking back on your life experiences, Do you experience fear? What inside and you're like, Oh, I don't want to go through that again. If you are, You need to work through that emotion and reframe those life experiences. You got to see yourself as a survivor, Not a victim. Like that's the energy shift. Oh my God, I went through that. It was so difficult. It was so horrible. That's the victim mentality. It's fear-based and you're going to try to protect yourself. But if you look through it and you go, I made it through that. I'm stronger because of it. I'm better capable of handling difficult things because I went through that difficult thing. So something else comes up. I can handle it. Why? Because I handled it before. That builds your confidence. Now, All of a sudden, You're becoming stronger. You're becoming more confident in yourself. And not only will you have a little bit more fun because you're not fear-based and you're not making choices based on, No, Something might go wrong if I do that. That's not your sole way of looking at things. You know, You. And just to be clear, I know what the ego says. The ego is like, Well, Glenn, If I live like that 100%, Then I'm just going to go do stupid stuff. And I'm going to go jump out of a plane without a parachute just because I think it's a good idea. No, You're not. That's stupid. I'm not telling you to be stupid. You still have a brain. You can still use it. Don't make stupid decisions. Just because you're like that, That's just the ego that's generalizing and blowing it out of proportion all the way over because it's trying to protect you. So it's like, No, Don't listen to Glenn. He's, He's telling you to just go live foolishly and do stupid things and everything will be okay because you did stupid things before. No, That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying do foolish things. I don't think I do foolish things at all. I don't, You know, I did the things that I do. I understand that not everybody is going to do the things that I do. I understand that, You know, Jumping, Like I don't jump like off waterfalls that are 60 feet high that I see other people doing it. I'm like, Hell no. I'm 57 years old, Man. I am not jumping. I have no interest. I didn't do it when I was 20. I'm not doing it when I'm 57. Like it's just not happening. Like I don't live my life just doing stupid stuff. I take calculated risk. If I'm sitting there and I am at a waterfall and people are jumping in and I kind of feel like doing it, I look at it and I go, Okay, Well, Let's see, Is this a good idea or not? Well, What is it, 10 feet? Well, I jumped 10 feet before that's not that big of a deal. Okay. So that's reasonable. Where are people jumping? Is it deep enough right there? If I do jump, I want to make sure that I jump in the exact same spot that the other people are jumping in. Yeah. Okay. Are they jumping way out to try to avoid a rock or something? No, Looks pretty straightforward. Okay, I'll just watch a couple more people, See if I pick up on anything out of the ordinary. No, Looks pretty straightforward. Okay, 10 feet? Yeah, No big deal. All right, I'm doing it. To me, That's a calculated risk. You look at it, You assess, You use your brain, No major danger here. So I jumped. Right that so this is what I'm talking about. You can still use your brain. Using your brain does not mean you're fear-based. There's a difference. Fear-based is going through that scenario that I just said, Jumping 10 feet, You know, Into a river from a waterfall or whatever, And just going like, Well. . . Everybody seems to be doing it. However, There might be a rock that nobody is aware of, That nobody's landed on for the last 20 years, That's just to the left, And they've just been lucky, And I might just hit it. So I'm not going to jump. That's fear-based thinking. You're making something up that doesn't even make sense. How could 20 people jump in a general area? And do it fine, But somehow you're going to, You're not in control of your body, And you're going to jump over to the left in an area where nobody's jumping, Even though you know you should jump where everybody's jumping, And somehow there's going to magically be a rock that nobody else has ever hit. That's fear-based thinking. Do you see the difference? And of course, I'm just talking about daily life, Jumping into a river, Which most people aren't even going to do that anyway. I'm just using it as an example. So you take that example that I just gave, You follow the line of logic that I used, The way I explained the thinking, And then you apply it to whatever life situation you're looking at. You know, Like, I mean, Barely anybody has come over to visit me in the Dominican Republic. It's, I think, Less than a 90 minute flight from Florida. It amazes me how few people come over here to visit me. And then Dominican Republic. I never traveled internationally before, But I knew a bunch of other people had. So I hopped on a plane and came. You know, Did I do my due diligence? Yes, I did. You know, I talked to somebody, I'm, I'm a good judge of character. I'm looking at their videos, And they're a spiritual teacher, And they actually know what they're talking about. So like, Like you can't fake that. You know, This is how I ended up in the Dominican Republic. I'll just, You know, I'll touch on this briefly. So I kept getting international travel at the beginning of COVID. I kept meditating and going like, Okay, What should I do? I could feel COVID was this big wave of energy. I kind of see everything like energy. So I was like, Well, COVID is going to be something big. So that means it's a lot of energy. Okay, So What is a lot of energy moving across the world? And I kind of saw it like a like a wave, You know. And I was like, Okay, Well, If there's a massive amount of energy. That's moving. And it, You know, I envision it kind of like a wave, Because that's how I visualize energy in this particular situation, I guess. So it's like, Well, If a massive amount of energy is going in one direction all combined, Then you either ride it or you get wiped out by it. This made sense to me at the time. So and it still does. So I was like, OK, So I need to meditate and find out how to use this energy to propel me forward instead of getting wiped out by it. Because, You know, Like I believe that, You know, Sometimes when things when difficult times happen in the world, Everybody shuts down and they're like like, Like, Oh, If the economy's low, Don't start a business. It's like, Why? Like millionaires are made when the economy is low. And millionaires are made when the economy is high. It just depends on what you're doing. So like if you. If you start a business selling luxury items when the economy is low to middle class people that are just scraping by and getting hit hard with the economy, You're probably not going to do well. That's foolishness. But if you start a dollar store in the middle of when the economy is low, That might do really well. Right, You see, So like this, When something is affecting a large group of people. Some people are going to benefit from it and some people are going to suffer because of it. And if you're looking at it the right way, You can figure out how to use it to benefit. So this is, That was what I was doing. I'm like, How can I use this to benefit? So I meditated more like four times a day and I kept getting international travel and community. So I was going to go to Panama where I had a connection to do a retreat and my flight kept getting canceled. So I saw this, This woman on Instagram and I clicked on one of her videos, Which I rarely do. And she knew what she was talking about with spirituality, Like deep stuff. She really got it deep. And like I said, You can't fake that. So then I saw another video of hers and I was like, Oh my God. And she, She's courageous in what she talks about and she really gets them like, Wow, Holy crap. That to me is enough to be like, Like you, Somebody can put a good face forward. But talking about spirituality is very deep stuff. You can't. Like you, I, You can't fake it. You just can't fake it. I'm sorry. I was going to try to say, Well, Maybe if you rehearsed and all, No, You can't fake it. So, And I'm a good judge of character. So I was like, Okay, I'm pretty, I'm pretty sure she's legit. I get on. I'm like, I messaged her. Hey, I liked your videos. Hey, I see you're in the Dominican Republic. What's up with that? You're from the United States. Could we hop on a call? I'd like to find out more. Sure. We hop on a phone call. She explains it. Yeah, It's really nice over here. People, It's you know not dangerous, It's really nice. Come on over. OK, Can you help me find a place to stay that's in a safe area, Like preferably near where you are in the area you're familiar with? Maybe introduce me to a couple of people. You know, I'm not looking for somebody to be a tour guide every day, But maybe I've never traveled internationally before and I don't really know what to do. And yeah, Yeah, You know, Me and my boyfriend will pick you up at the airport and we'll we'll bring you over and I'll let you know if you're in a good area. OK, Cool. So I get an Airbnb. In the area she recommends. You know, They pick me up at the airport, Bring me and I saw her, You know, Several times, But we didn't hang out every day. She introduced me to some people she knew. And it was a wonderful time. I had never traveled internationally before. You know, And I'm not saying that everybody needs to do that. What I'm saying is some people think that that is insane. Why? It's not that insane. And again, You don't, You know, Take what I'm saying and get the meaning out of it. I'm not trying to talk you into visiting the Dominican Republic. I don't care if you do. I don't care man. It's your life. Do whatever you want. But like some people won't go to Florida from Massachusetts because they're too scared. They've talked themselves into just not going out of state or something. You know, Or they won't go to the Grand Canyon because they heard that there was a shooting there in 1972. This is what I'm talking about. Like, Just do, You know, Have some confidence in yourself. Use your past experiences to build confidence in yourself to do something that you're not completely secure with. It's okay. You can navigate it. And you can use it in anything. You can start. Do you know how many people have hobbies or want to start a side business that don't do it? Like what's the risk there? There basically isn't one. You don't have to quit your job to do it. You can do it for basically free. You could invest $150 and start just about any business that you wanted as a side business. You could invest nothing and do that. But I mean, There's really no financial risk. There's really no emotional risk. And somehow people still talk themselves out of doing it because they're scared of something. And this is what I mean. It infiltrates our life. And affects us and keeps us stuck when it should be doing the opposite. As we get older, We should be more confident in ourselves. We shouldn't be creating a life that minimizes our experiences. We should be creating a life that expands our experiences. Because we're more confident in ourselves. We're more intelligent. We're more capable. We can handle more things. So we should be able to do more stuff. And if you look at most people, Their world gets smaller and smaller and smaller as they get older. They have less friends. They do less things. And I'm not talking about like, I mean, Don't, You know, Like. As a general rule, Like this might surprise some of you, I'm in my house by the time it gets dark. Every night. Bar none. As a general rule, If there's something to do, I will go do it. But I also live up in the mountains. So if there's something to do, A lot of times it's down in the city. And then I got a 45-minute drive home, Or I used to. So now I got a place down by the beach. So it's a 10-minute drive home. So now I'll do more stuff in the nighttime down there. Because there's more to do in the nighttime. And I have a 10 minute drive home and it's not a big deal. That's acceptable to me. I don't like driving at night. I don't see as well at night anymore. It's just. I don't really like doing it. So living up in the mountains, You know, Like it's, My point here is it's okay. Some of it is okay. I'm not saying you have to become a lunatic. Some of your, You know, Like, Because I'm not a lunatic. I'm in my house by the time it gets dark just about every night. So obviously I'm not. You know, Out doing crazy stuff like I did when I was 20. I have no drive to do that stuff. I don't want to do that stuff. I don't have to talk myself out of it. You know? But now that I have a place down by the beach, I will be out at night a little bit more when I'm staying down there. But I'm probably not going to be out at two o'clock in the morning. Why? I have no interest in being out at two o'clock in the morning. That's why, You know, So I'm not, I'm not saying that we can't, Our life can't slow down and we can't do less crazy experiential stuff. Of course we will. We're getting older. We don't need to do all that stuff. We don't need to run around like crazy people and be entertained all the time and all this stuff. Quiet stillness. I love that, Man. I love peace. I like my alone time, You know, So this, This, The words that I'm saying are not coming from somebody that's like living this crazy lifestyle. I'm not. You know, This is the other things that the ego does. It's trying to protect you. So it's trying to look and look for holes in the things that I'm saying. Well, Glenn, You know, Glenn's different. No, I'm not different. I'm not wild, I'm not crazy. Like. I, You know, I'm very peaceful. I live a very sedentary lifestyle in a lot of ways. But I will also go jump off of a waterfall. I will go for a hike for four hours up a mountain. That I've never been to before. I will, You know, I will do some of this stuff. And if some of this stuff is too much for you, I'll hop on the back of a motorcycle with somebody that I don't know and have them drive me an hour away. Like I'll do stuff like that. And I understand that not everybody will, And that's okay. That's okay. Just do what you're comfortable with. But use your life experiences to become more of yourself, To become more confident. Because like I said, When you're confident, You think clearly. So you look at something and you go, Ah, That's not really for me. Okay, Then don't do it. That's fine. I'm not trying to talk you into becoming something you're not. I'm saying. . . Use your past experiences so you're not filled with fear and you're not saying no to things out of fear. Like I don't say no to things out of fear. I'll say no to things out of logic. You know, Like I'm not jumping off of a 60 foot thing. Why? Because I have no interest in doing it. That doesn't feel like fun to me. Just like I don't watch horror movies because I don't like getting scared and I don't like blood and guts. So I don't do it. It's not because I'm scared of it, It's because I don't enjoy it. So I don't enjoy jumping off a 60 foot waterfall. So I'm not going to do it. And nobody's going to talk me into it. And it doesn't matter how confident I mean, If I really thought about it, Do I think I could jump off a 60 foot waterfall? Yeah. I do. I'm confident that I could if I wanted to. Then I would probably be doing it. Why? Because I think I could. If I wanted to, I just don't want to. It holds no intrigue for me, Right? I'm trying to be clear. I'm not talking you. You're not going to become this animal. That can't control themselves and ends up dead somewhere. I'm just saying use your past experiences to build confidence within you. Because that's. That's what you're feeding. You're either feeding confidence or fear. Feed the confidence. I know I can make it and that you're going to find that you're just walking through your average everyday life more relaxed because unconsciously you're not. Looking to protect yourself from something. Is something bad going to happen? I don't want to experience anything I don't like. Well, You're on the wrong planet if you don't want to experience things you don't like because we live in a never changing reality and sometimes you're going to. And you can't control reality. So sometimes you're going to experience things that you don't like. Fact. Get used to it. Swallow it. Use your brain so you don't walk into it intentionally. But for the rest of it, Relax. Use your past experiences. Process it so it builds your confidence so you're not walking around in fear all the time. You're walking around empowered. You're walking around confident. Knowing that you can handle whatever comes up, Because you can. You know, Most of you listening to this have been on the planet for a while. You've been through some stuff. Use it to strengthen you, Not to weaken you. It's that. It's that shift. It's that shift from, You know, From victim mentality to survivor mentality, Which, You know, Is one of the things in society that we've actually done well. You know, I think, I think it's in the cancer stuff, The cancer arena, When you start hearing people talk about, I'm a cancer survivor. Yes, You are. Yes, You are. If you've been through cancer and you've survived, Then you should be stronger. And better version of yourself because of what you went through. We're all gonna go through difficult things. What's the point in going through something if you don't grow through it, If you don't become a better version of yourself? You know, I did another podcast, I think. Something about if you're going to go through something, You might as well grow through it. So you might find it using those keywords if you're searching. But this is my point. We go through all these difficulties and we come out the other side scared. Oh no, That was horrible. Oh my God. I don't want to experience that again. Oh my God. That was unbelievable. Oh my God. You know, I used to see it in personal training. Like I'd be working, I was a personal trainer and I'd be working with a client and I'd be getting them to, You know, Really push themselves and do something that was hard. And, You know, They do this exercise and they'd put the weight down and they'd be like, Oh my God, That was horrible. And I'd be like, No, No, No, No, No. Like you just did something that's really good for your body. You pushed yourself to a new level. You did something good for yourself. Don't give yourself negative feedback for doing something good. Yeah, Right. And that, Like, This is what we do. We make it through something and we're like, Oh my God, That was horrible. So, Oh, Okay, So what are you going, What are you. What are you feeding yourself? If you're like, Oh my God, I went through that. That was horrible. I don't want to go through that again. Of course you don't want to go through that again. Do you need to, Do you need to fill yourself with fear and program yourself to not go through something that you don't like again? No. In your head, You know, You don't want to go through it again. Of course you don't want to go through it again. Of course, You're going to take steps to not go through it again. If there are some that you can take, Of course you will. You don't need to feed yourself negativity and fear to get yourself to not do something that hurt you. Of course you're not going to do it again, If you have a choice. So you don't need to feed the fear to protect yourself. What you want to do is feed the confidence, Feed this. The self-love, Feed the strength, Come out stronger. If you have to go through it, You might as well grow through it. Come out a better version of yourself. Come out stronger. Come out more confident. So, You know, The next time something happens, You don't go, Oh no, Here we go again. Oh, This is going to be hard. Oh my God. This is going to be so hard. That makes it 10 times harder. When something comes and you go, Oh, Okay, All right, All right. This is not what I would have chosen, But here we are. Okay. I've been through many difficult things before, And somehow I'm going to make it through this as well. Who do you think is going to do better out of those two people? Obviously the second one. You're going to think clearer. You're going to find solutions quicker. You're not going to feed the fear. You're not going to get swallowed up by it. And energetically. And immune system-wise, If it's a health issue, That makes a big difference. You know, Stress lowers our immune level. Fear lowers our immune systems. So like when we're all timid and scared and fearful and oh no, Oh no, Oh no, That just makes it 10 times harder, 10 times worse, Lowers our immune system. Whatever we resist, Persist. We're feeding it our fear. We're giving it energy and we're actually expanding the problem and making it worse and suffering more with that outlook. You know, When we're confident and we're like, Yeah, I'm going to do what I can. Oh, All of a sudden our immune system is functioning better because we're not shoving all this fear and insecurity and stress at it. So now all of a sudden our immune system's functioning better. We can think clearer. We can find solutions. We can, You know, We're confident. It's positive thinking, Positive energy. We get better results. That's just, You know, Scientifically proven at this point. Just like most of the stuff. So that's it. Use your life. How you process your life experiences is very important. If you use it to become stronger, A more confident, Capable version of yourself, Then that's what you're going to become. If you use it to create a more scared, Timid version of yourself, Then that's what you're going to become. You know, And this is this is something that like affects people dramatically. You know, I mean, I work with people for a living. So I see this stuff. It's not just my own personal experience. I see it in other people. And it's amazing what happens when you start empowering them, Strengthening them and shifting them. Out of the fear-based mentality, Out of the victim mentality, Into a survivor strong mentality, Their experience changes dramatically, Their life goes dramatically better. So use your past to strengthen you. Not to minimize you, You know, Always become more of yourself. That's nature. It's unnatural to become less of yourself. That'll do. Good luck. Let me know if you need me. Peace. I am out for the night.

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This talk has me stirring... and contemplating some decisions on the horizon. Left a message on your website. 🙏🏼