All Things Love - LL&L LIVE 6-28-21

In this episode, I'm diving into love. What does it look like in everyday situations? How can we bring more of it into society, into the world, and into our lives? These questions are answered and more on this episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter with Glenn Ambrose podcast. Recorded LIVE 6-28-21.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Hello everybody.

Welcome to the show.

Click over to my comments.

Let's see,

I'm gonna post a comment.

Okay,

So yeah,

I'm just,

I'm just posting.

Say hi,

Let me know where you're from as you're tuning in to this special Love Cast.

See what I did there?

Love Cast instead of podcast because it's about love.

Yeah,

You just can't write this stuff.

So where are you guys from?

Who's watching?

I see people watching,

But I don't know who you are.

Send me a little comment to say hi.

So as usual,

This is going to be released as a podcast.

So I am going to start babbling and you know,

Hopefully,

Well people will tune in as they go.

Hello,

Lisa.

Good evening.

Thanks for joining.

Lisa,

You are a staple to this show as of now.

Congratulations.

Yeah,

I love seeing the same people week after week and I love seeing the new ones.

It's all good.

So,

So I'm going to talk about love and Lisa's in Rochester,

New Hampshire.

Yes.

And Buddy's here too.

Buddy is an official staple as well.

What's up,

Buddy?

Where are you living,

Buddy?

Are you still in Gardner or in that area?

G Vegas.

So everybody who's listening that's not from that area,

We called Gardner where we grew up G Vegas.

Lots of people knew that term.

People in surrounding towns knew that term.

So it was kind of a big thing.

Okay,

Buddy's in Ashburnham right next door to Gardner.

So yeah,

We called Gardner G Vegas because it was the opposite or the antithesis of Las Vegas.

Las Vegas,

It was just always stuff to do and Gardner,

There was never anything to do.

So we called it G Vegas.

Actually,

Years later,

After I got sober,

So this was like 17 years ago,

I was up and working in Foxboro when I was living in Rhode Island and this state trooper came into the store where I was selling cell phones and there was nobody else there.

We're just kind of talking for a little bit and I had just moved up after 10 years in Florida.

But I was in Rhode Island living and Massachusetts working so my accent was coming back fairly quickly and I was talking with the state trooper and he goes,

Yeah,

He's like,

I can hear some of your accent like that you might be from the area but you don't sound like you are.

What's your deal?

And I said,

Oh,

I'm sorry,

I just spent 10 years in Florida but I grew up in Massachusetts and he goes,

Oh,

No kidding.

What town did you grow up in?

And I said,

Gardner and he just starts laughing.

The reaction was just perfect.

He's like,

Oh,

Gardner.

He goes,

Oh my God,

The only thing to do in Gardner is to drink and fight.

I started laughing.

I was like,

Yes,

That's what we did.

We drank and fought.

It was beautiful.

And Lisa said,

But we created things to do.

We did,

Man.

I had a great childhood there,

Man.

It was stuff that I had to deal with and work through later on in life.

But there is no childhood that avoids all that.

So I don't look back on that as bad.

It was a simple time.

We played outside all the time and some of it was rough but a lot of it was fun.

As far as the people,

I've said this since day one.

Since I lived there,

Since I lived away from there,

I've always said that the people from Gardner that I grew up with are salt of the earth.

They are second to none.

The people here in the DR,

Now that I'm in a different country,

Meaning a different culture,

The people over here are very,

Very special.

But when I've been in the world and met people from all over the United States and stuff,

The people from Gardner are just,

My God,

Just really good people in their hearts.

Just the core.

We had our stuff.

We had our issues just like everybody else on the planet.

But boy,

Deep down,

Such good,

Good people.

If they're on your side,

Man,

They were on your side.

They're still on my side.

I love it.

Here's some proof.

Look at all these people from Gardner listening.

Hi,

Nicole.

She's in Colorado now but grew up with us.

Was it you?

I think it was you,

Nicole,

That told that story about me pulling you back into my Jeep when you almost fell out real nonchalant like I did it a million times because I did,

Man.

People almost fell out of my Jeep every other day.

So I just get used to driving and just reaching over and pulling them back into the Jeep before they fell out the door.

Yeah,

That was Nicole.

Yeah,

I did that with so many people.

Lisa,

I agree with you because I was in Europe for five years,

Community living like you.

I love both now and are my home.

Yeah,

There's wonderful people out there all over the planet.

But boy,

What a special connection we had growing up in Gardner.

It was really a wonderful time,

I think.

So let's lead right into love.

I love the people from Gardner and I love lots of other people that aren't from Gardner.

But I posted this.

I love doing this,

Man.

I got to do this more often.

Nicole just joined us,

Another Nicole.

Hey,

Thank you.

Yeah,

You guys are all like so consistent with this show.

I love it.

So I posted the question,

What does love look like in everyday interactions?

How can we deal with difficult situations from a place of love?

And you know,

I you guys just give such good answers.

It was I love it.

You know,

It's just this is what gives me hope in the world.

Because when you put out a question like this,

Like everybody,

You know,

We're more alike than we are different.

We really are.

And we're all based in love.

We all come from love.

It's our core vibration.

We're all familiar with it.

We all want to be better people.

We all want to get along with others.

We all want love and peace and happiness in our families with our friends in our communities.

And,

You know,

This is that's the truth.

That's the truth of it.

We are more alike than we are different.

And it's like sometimes I when I'm talking about relationships,

You know,

I talked about how,

You know,

There's the nothing bad about this book.

There's very good information in this book.

But there's this mentality.

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

And we need to learn all about our differences so that we can interact.

And there is some truth to that,

Of course.

But like the way I look at it with with relationships as well as everything else is why don't we meet where we're not used to meeting where we agree,

We're always too focused on where we disagree.

And then we wonder why we feel so separate from each other.

It's because we're always focusing on where we disagree.

If we meet where we agree,

And then work up to where we disagree.

We're starting with a foundation of agreement.

All right,

So a foundation of commonality,

A foundation of connectedness of oneness,

Meet there,

And then go up to our difficulty.

And then we'll be communicating in a different way in a back and forth way.

Instead of I'm right,

You're a wrong way.

Or I don't understand you.

Yeah,

We do understand each other.

We don't we do understand each other.

The problem is not that we don't understand each other.

The problem is that we don't understand each other on a surface level.

That's the problem.

So but we do understand each other on a deeper level.

When,

You know,

Like,

Okay,

Men are more intellectual and women are more emotional,

As a general rule driven.

Of course,

We both have both sides,

And some are more than others and all that stuff.

But generalizations,

There's there's some truth to that statement.

But we all want to be loved.

We all want to feel loved.

We all want to express love.

We all want that.

So if we meet there and then go like,

Oh,

Okay,

Well,

So,

So you just don't feel loved.

Oh,

Okay.

Well,

I mean,

That's horrible.

I want you to feel loved.

So how can how can you feel I love you.

So how can how can we get you to feel loved?

Because I know what it's like to not feel loved and and it's not pleasant.

So I want to feel love.

And I want you to feel love because I love you.

Oh,

Okay.

So if you meet there,

Do you see how the conversation would be very different?

You know,

Instead of,

Well,

You think I should do this,

And you think I should do that.

And it's like,

That's all surface.

It's all it.

That's just specifics.

And when we think the specifics are important,

Then we think we're supposed to agree on the specifics.

And when I supposed to agree on the specifics,

It doesn't matter.

Like you can have your preferences if I because like what I'm going to follow this with relationships for a minute.

If you're saying I have to,

Let's say like I have to treat you I have to show you love in emotional way that doesn't feel comfortable to me.

And I'm stuck on that,

Then I think you're trying to change me and you're trying to make me be something that I'm not.

And I don't want to be something that I'm not.

So I'm not going to do that because that's not who I am.

That's all surface.

But if we meet down here in love,

And go,

Well,

No,

I know,

You know,

We love each other.

Let's connect there.

Okay,

First,

We love each other.

All right,

There's love there.

Okay,

Now,

Like,

I'm not feeling the love the way you're giving it.

Oh,

Okay.

Well,

How do you feel and express love?

Oh,

Well,

I feel an express love this way.

Oh,

Okay.

So if if I were to do this,

And you would feel loved?

Yeah.

Oh,

All right.

You know,

Which which brings me to which brings me to one of the comments,

Which somebody said,

The golden rule.

And it's funny that it's funny that she mentioned that the golden rule because I was just thinking this like a day or two ago,

The golden rule is treat others the way you wish to be treated,

Right?

My friend Brian Reed,

Who's also a coach,

He talks about the platinum rule,

Don't treat others the way you want to be treated,

Treat others the way they want to be treated.

And like all spirituality,

There's tons of overlap here.

Now there's certain situations you can't possibly know how somebody wants somebody else wants to be treated.

And it's not necessarily your responsibility to run around finding out how every person wants to be treated.

So if you look at that statement from that perspective,

Then it does not apply or it does not appear to be true.

But if you look at it from the love languages,

Which I didn't know I was going to talk about,

But I kind of already stumbled on,

Understanding that people give and receive love in different ways.

And generally,

Most people aren't aware of that.

So they're not aware that people give and receive love in different ways.

So some people,

You know,

The five love languages is a good book you guys can check out,

Or you can just Google the five love languages test and you can take like a five minute test online or something and it tells you what your love languages are.

And it's an interesting little thing to do.

And it can actually help some relationships,

Not just romantic ones.

Generally,

We give and receive love some of the ways are like affection,

Touch,

And I could be overlapping and combining some of these.

I don't even know if I ever read the whole book.

I know I read at least some of it at one point many years ago.

But some of the love languages are giving gifts,

Doing acts of service,

Physical touch,

Words saying I love you.

So like if you have somebody that really feels loved when somebody says I love you,

Like their their love language is verbal,

It's spoken.

And they're in a relationship with somebody whose love language is touch.

And they don't really feel that much love when they hear when somebody says I love you.

They're like,

Yeah,

Thanks.

Love you too.

It's really not that big of a deal.

It doesn't connect to their heart.

It's not how they it's not how they give and receive love.

It's not their love language.

Most people don't know that there's multiple love languages.

So So what would you do if you didn't know that there were multiple love languages,

You would assume that the way you feel love is the way everybody else feels love.

So you would automatically try to give love in the same way that you receive it.

That's just what why would you do anything different?

Right?

So would this platinum rule here,

Like knowing somebody else's love language,

Having these deep conversations where we meet each other on the love foundation and then working up towards the problem.

This is very helpful with this,

Because we find out that like we're all the same at the bottom,

We all want love.

Maybe the way we deliver and receive it is a little bit different.

That's no big deal.

Well,

I'll just tweet that.

Oh,

Okay,

Cool.

That's all I had to do.

And you feel love.

Sweet.

You know,

It's a pretty easy adjustment to make.

So now all of a sudden,

You go,

Okay,

I'm going to tell this person I love them because their love language is verbal,

And they like that and it makes them feel special.

And then they go,

Well,

This person likes touch.

So I'm going to caress them,

I'm going to touch them.

You know that I understand that sex might be more important to them,

Because that's their love language.

That's how they feel close to somebody.

You know,

So when you understand that it's just a gateway to love,

To loving,

Then it's like,

Who gives a crap about the gateway?

Who cares about the doorway,

The path?

Who cares about that?

That's secondary.

Loving is primary.

So if you take this model,

And you put it,

Bring it out into the world,

Okay,

Bring it out into the world that we're living in,

And put it into society,

And the things that we're seeing that are wrong,

Bring this into politics.

Politics is arguing.

It's all surfacey.

I mean,

We are literally having the same argument over the same topics that we did 30 years ago,

Literally,

We're arguing over the same things back and forth.

That's absurd.

I mean,

Because there's no possibility of solution,

Because nobody's looking for a solution,

Because they don't want a solution.

They want their pathway to be right.

That's what they want.

And they want everybody else to agree with their pathway.

And half the people aren't going to,

Ever.

But that's their goal.

We're going to get everybody to agree on this pathway.

And then we'll do something about it.

And nothing ever gets done.

This is one of the major problems is,

So if we go underneath and connect in love,

And go like,

Okay,

What's at the bottom?

I mean,

You know,

We'll take any,

I'm going to try to pick any like political issue that isn't too controversial.

Like,

I'm not talking about global warming,

Because global warming is,

There's kind of two sides.

I'm just going to say,

Being,

Creating a more sustainable way of interacting with the world,

With the earth,

Specifically,

Like,

There are people on both sides of the political system that agree that we should make some adjustments to treat the earth a little bit better,

Because we're kind of stripping it of a lot of stuff.

Okay.

So that's fair,

That mentality is fairly non combative.

Like,

Maybe we should find some ways to do stuff better in the earth.

If we took the time to connect down there,

And just took a little time to understand each other,

And have conversations and go,

You know,

That sounds something like this.

I know we both want the same thing.

I mean,

We both want to take care of the earth.

You want to take care of the earth,

I want to take care of the earth.

So we're heading in the same direction.

This is wonderful.

This is good.

I love that.

This is a love based mentality.

It's connection.

Love is always inclusion.

It's never exclusion.

Love is always connectedness.

Love is always oneness.

Love is always coming together.

So when we meet there on our common ground,

Hey,

We all want what's good with the earth.

Right?

We all want what's good for our families.

We all want to be happy.

We all,

You know,

Just meet on a common ground and discuss that and lay the foundation.

And keep that in our primary window that everything has to go through love first.

And then it's a possibility.

Is it loving?

Yes.

Okay,

Well then maybe it's a possibility.

Is it anger filled?

No,

It won't fit through that window.

Is it divisive?

No,

It won't fit through that window.

Okay,

Well,

We can't bring that in to the conversation.

It has to fit through the window of love.

So if we stay more focused on the common goal that we all have,

That's love.

That's a form of love.

Everything good is love.

Everything,

If there is anything that everyone wants,

It's love.

It's love based.

You know,

Like happiness.

Everybody wants to be happy.

They might have different versions of what that looks like,

But they all want to be happy.

Families.

Everybody loves your family.

I mean,

You might not like some of the stuff they do,

But yeah,

Everybody loves their family as a general rule.

When you have children,

You love your children.

You don't have to learn that.

It just is.

Everybody is like that.

And we walk around this planet talking to each other and acting like the people on the other side of some sort of conversation or issue are not like that.

This is the problem.

We're creating division and divisiveness because we think in focusing on the surface divisiveness,

We are losing track that we are all one.

We are losing track that we all want the same things and we are creating otherness.

We are creating separation.

And this is where all the problems start.

This is where all the problems have started since man started identifying with the ego thousands of years ago.

This is where it all starts.

So what we have to keep in mind is that the neighbors walking by,

Faith is getting excited.

It's all right.

So what we have to keep in mind is that we all want the same things.

We all want love and we all,

There aren't people on the other side of the planet that like hate their children and want everybody to die.

People aren't made like that.

I mean,

There's some screwed up people on the planet here and there that might think that they want that,

Which they're delusional and they don't and all that stuff.

And some of them you can reach,

Some of them you can't reach,

But I'm talking as a global society,

I'm not talking about the 1% that are so whacked out of their mind that they're just psychotic and just want to kill everything.

I'm talking about the 99% of the people on the planet that are all want the same things.

They all want love.

So I'm going to take a breath here.

I'm going to say hello to Susan from Melbourne,

Australia.

I love it.

Thanks Sue.

A lot of,

I have a lot of followers in Australia.

Well,

In Canada and whatever,

Lots of different places.

I'm going to go to some of these comments though.

You know,

I asked what does love look like in everyday interactions?

How can we deal with difficult situations from a place of love?

Understanding,

Compassion,

Lack of judgment.

That's connection,

Connection,

Connection.

You know,

None of those words imply separation.

Communication,

Breathe,

Pause.

Yes.

Don't react.

Setting the intention in every reaction.

Actually listen from a heart with open ears.

Yes.

Listen.

I mean,

I do more talking and listening in my,

In my sessions with my clients,

But that's what they're paying me for.

So I don't mind,

But yes,

But,

But yeah,

We're supposed to listen,

Actually listen to what the other side says.

No judgment and listening.

Sometimes people want this story to be heard.

Absolutely.

You know,

I had a little issue with a friend of mine over here that we talked about it yesterday and we both sides needed to be heard.

And at the end of the day,

I don't think really either one of us fully agreed with the other side.

I mean,

I didn't really agree with what he was saying and I'm pretty sure he didn't really agree with what I was saying,

But we heard each other.

We opened our hearts and we listened to each other with a respect.

Love is based in respect.

So a loving,

Respectful way.

And we both listened to the other one and we heard each other and we can agree to disagree and go our separate ways.

And now,

You know,

I don't,

It wasn't complete disagreement.

I think we both took some things from the other person that maybe we could work on.

I know I took some stuff from him that I could work on speaking personally,

But it's,

It's not about always coming to an agreement.

It's about respecting both sides and understanding like he just wants to live his life and do his things his way.

And I just want to live my life and do things my way.

Okay,

Cool.

So now that we communicated,

We can do that a little bit better.

And sometimes that's going to include us not interacting because I know I'm clear on how he interacts in certain ways.

So if I want a specific thing done a specific way and that goes against his way of doing things,

I'm not going to go to him for that because we communicated with an open heart non-judgmentally.

Sometimes a simple smile can change someone's entire day.

Be honest,

But be nice about it.

You can be direct and not be rude about the situation.

Right.

Which is another thing that I kind of wanted to touch on.

It's the,

And you know,

Throw your comments out there guys and,

And you know,

Let me know what you think,

What you agree with,

What you don't agree with.

This is the official glass of the Dominican Republic recycled Tostitos jars.

So,

So yes,

What I was going to,

What I want to touch on was love is we,

You know,

We're in the middle of a spiritual shift happening.

We are,

This is why you guys are listening to this right now.

This is why lots of people listen.

This is why we're working on ourselves.

This is why we actually give a crap about our self expansion right now,

Because there's a spiritual awakening happening on this planet and this desire to be a fuller,

Happier,

More fulfilled version of ourselves is bubbling up within us and it's driving us to work on ourselves and transcend thousands of years of dysfunctional behaviors.

So this is a very exciting time to be alive.

And part of that is understanding that we are supposed to be kind to one another.

We are supposed to be loving to one another.

We're supposed to be good people and we're supposed to care about one another and the planet in general.

So,

And the things on it.

So this is all coming up within people.

But the thing of it is,

Is we don't have a lot of history here.

Like we don't have a lot of role models,

What living a loving life looks like.

You know what,

Because we all know that we want to be good people and we,

And we want to experience love and happiness,

But we're not sure how to get there because,

You know,

I've said this many times,

It's our only example of being a good person is Mother Teresa giving until her knuckles bleed,

You know,

Like that,

That's our concept.

And even,

Even Mother Teresa wasn't 100% like that,

You know,

Now that,

Especially now that her letters came out and some things that she wrote while throughout her life,

It wasn't so easy for her either,

You know.

So what do we have to do if we're going to live in a world that is better than the past world,

We need to create a new paradigm and that's what we're in the process of doing.

And we know we want to be good people,

But we don't know what that looks like.

And it's not being a doormat,

You know,

That's not being a good person.

Enabling is one of the biggest mistakes,

Things that we need to look at and solve as far as a generation goes,

As far as what we're doing wrong,

Because we enable people to treat us poorly,

We enable people to not take care of themselves,

We enable people to,

We're handing our power over away to everybody.

And it's like,

The people I'm talking to have big hearts.

Everybody that I work with has a big heart.

Everybody that's listening to this show has a big heart,

Otherwise you wouldn't be listening.

You're very caring,

Loving people,

Because there are assholes out there and they're not listening to this show.

Why?

Because they don't care.

That's why.

So if you're listening to this show,

You've got a big heart,

Which is a wonderful thing,

But we need to learn how to use that effectively.

Love is not weak.

Love is the strongest thing there is.

And we are using it in a wrong way.

We're so concerned with being a good person that we're giving everybody what they want and going like,

Well,

I must be a good person because I was kind to them.

I must be a good person because I gave them what they wanted.

They asked for something and I gave it to them.

I supported them in their life.

Yeah,

But their life was dysfunctional.

Why are you supporting somebody in a dysfunctional life and calling that love?

That's not love.

You know,

That is enabling.

We need to stop doing this.

We need to stop giving our power away and then sitting back with these big,

Juicy,

Loving hearts going,

Why is nobody there for me when I need somebody?

Why don't my kids listen to me?

Why don't my employees listen to me?

Why don't like,

Because you're handing your power away.

That's why that's not love.

That's not being a good person.

That's being irresponsible with your power.

So we need to be more loving to ourselves and give from the overflow.

That's the,

That's the formula.

If you really love yourself,

Do you think that you would be running around enabling people all the time,

Letting people crap on you?

If you loved yourself first?

No,

Of course not.

You wouldn't,

Because it goes against love because it's abusive.

When people take all your stuff and don't,

And don't,

You know,

It's not reciprocal.

And when you've got your,

You know,

And I'm not talking about a momentary difficult time or something,

But if you have kids,

Children in your,

In their thirties,

Living in your basement,

That's a problem.

That's enabling.

We need to let people fail.

That's loving.

Let people face the consequences of their actions so they wake up and take responsibility for their own lives.

That's loving.

It's not loving to prevent a bird from flying.

It's not loving to take a,

If you had birds and you saw this bird every time the baby bird,

Like was going to fly,

The,

The,

The parent said,

No,

No,

No,

No,

Don't fly.

Get on my back.

I'll take you.

We'd be looking at that going like,

That's messed up this.

Now you have an adult bird and it doesn't even know how to fly.

And that's its nature.

Like it never developed its wings.

It can't even be a bird.

It can't even be what it was born to be because it was stifled because this adult bird was trying to,

This example is making me laugh.

This adult bird was trying to be nice to its kid.

Now the kid can't fly.

That's abusive.

It prevents the natural expansion of the,

The,

The,

The being from becoming what it was meant to become.

This is what we're doing in the world.

We need to be,

There's nothing more empowering,

Nothing more loving than watching your kid fly.

I'm watching my son fly now.

It's fricking beautiful.

It fills my heart.

I love it.

I love,

I love when he calls me up and he goes,

He goes,

Yeah,

Like I,

You know,

Something was wrong with my car.

So this guy helped me fix it and he was showing me this stuff.

And like,

You know,

I looked at him like I can do that.

And then they told me that like when I had my brakes fixed,

I could have done it myself for like a quarter of the price.

Screw that.

I'm going to do my own work on my car.

I'm like,

Yes,

Yes,

Good.

You're capable.

That builds self-esteem.

Go do stuff yourself.

Yes.

We feel good about ourselves when we do so.

I went through that and you know,

Kid,

Like I went through at the same age.

He's 20 now.

Like I did everything myself when I was 16,

17,

18,

19,

20,

21,

22.

I did everything myself and even further on.

And you know what?

It gave me self-esteem.

I felt better about myself when I did that it's like,

Wow,

Man,

Capable.

I can do some stuff.

This is what we need to allow people to have that.

And we're robbing them of that.

If we're doing things for them in the name of,

Oh,

I'm trying to help them.

I'm trying to be supportive.

Come on.

That's not love.

That's you trying to be a good person in an unhealthy way.

We need to bypass this.

We've been doing it for years.

Like I,

You know,

This is the,

This is the big thing I think with my generation.

So if you're around my age,

Which I am 52,

Look close,

Man.

You were probably doing it somewhere.

We need to,

We need to slide this aside and stop doing this and really open up and really open up to the truth of love.

The truth of love is doing the love is often difficult.

It's not the easiest thing to do.

Wow.

I was just talking about Mateo and he just messaged me.

I was that for synchronously.

I'm telling you it's happening like two to four times a day.

These synchronicities it's insane,

But this is because I'm leaning into spirituality,

Which is why I'm on these shows telling you guys to lean into spirituality because this is what happens that the wave is going so fast right now.

It's so large that if you lean into it,

This is the ride of your life.

The synchronicity start lining up.

The responses,

The responses from the universe for you leaning in are,

You've got the whole power of the universe behind you right now.

So if we lean into this,

We can transcend this and create a whole new paradigm.

So the foundation of it is like I was saying,

Give from the overflow,

Give from the overflow,

Love yourself because when you love yourself,

You don't have to sit there and go,

Geez.

Well you might ask the question,

But you're going to get the answer really fast and it's going to be dead on.

If you go,

Geez,

Am I letting my kid take advantage of me?

Oh my God.

Yes.

You'll see the answer very quickly.

It's not that difficult to discern when you love yourself.

It's not that difficult to discern what is love and what is enabling.

It's not that difficult because it just,

The energies are completely different.

One is a positive energy,

A loving energy and one of is a negative energy,

A manipulation energy,

An egoic energy.

They're completely different.

So it's really not that difficult to tell the difference.

But again,

Why is it difficult to tell the difference between those two things for most people is because they're caught up in the surface.

They're not going underneath.

What is love?

Do I love me?

Do I love my child?

Of course you love your child.

But like,

You know,

We have to understand what is going to benefit them?

How can they grow?

Instead of how can I take care of them?

This is,

So how can I take care of my children?

How can I take care of my coworkers?

How can I take care of my friends?

How can I take care of my family?

It's not your job to take care of everybody.

It's your job to take care of you.

It's their job to take care of them.

So help them take care of them.

Don't take care of them to try to make yourself feel good about yourself.

That's not your job.

And it's stifling their growth.

So give from the overflow,

Work on yourself.

I love me.

Get to the core of that.

And then when that manipulation energy comes in,

It's not going,

You're not going to be easily manipulated.

You know,

When that kid that's used to manipulating you to get what he wants and everybody thinks that manipulation word is like,

Oh my God,

That's horrible.

People who manipulate,

Everybody manipulates like we do it unconsciously daily.

Manipulation happens all the time through unconsciousness.

We don't even know what we're doing half the time.

So everybody manipulates.

It's not that big of a deal.

It's not good.

And we're trying to not do it,

But manipulate kids manipulate us all the time.

My dog manipulates me like,

Oh,

Well she tries to,

You know,

It's because it's a natural instinct for things to figure out how to try to get what they want because they're functioning from their perspective.

It's natural,

But we need to be able to be strong enough to set boundaries,

To not let that happen.

And the way we do that is through loving ourselves.

So,

You know,

I,

This is the example I use like,

And because it's so clear and abuse,

A physically abusive relationship,

You know,

The typical scenario that people talk about is a man hitting a woman,

Right?

So in,

In that scenario,

You have,

If you have a woman that's staying in a relationship where she's being beaten by a man and that guy that's with her dated somebody before her most of the time,

Right?

He's not dating her anymore.

Why?

Because she left.

Why did she leave?

Well,

Because her self esteem was too high.

Her self love was too high.

That's why there's one difference between a woman who stays in an abusive relationship or a man doesn't matter.

There's,

There's one difference between someone who stays in an abusive relationship and someone who leaves an abusive relationship.

And that one difference is self-love.

The level of self esteem that that person has determines it.

That's it.

If you love yourself,

You won't put up with it.

You'll leave.

If you don't love yourself,

You will put up with it.

You'll think you deserve it on some level and you won't leave.

Simple as that.

You know,

Now if you stay in one for a long time,

Then you have kids and then it's harder to leave and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

That's how it gets all complicated and surfacy and people focus on that.

Yeah,

But it's hard for this one because solve the problem,

Solve the problem,

You know,

Focus on the solution.

You can get anybody out of an abusive relationship if they're in one.

So,

So the core of everything is love.

The core of everything is understanding that we all want it.

We all connect to it.

All of us.

We all connect to this.

Let's see.

Let me check the comments.

Lisa.

Hi Lisa.

It takes time to fix that behavior.

I'm like the boundary Ninja now little by little.

Yes,

Lisa.

Many years ago,

Boy.

Yeah,

We did some serious boundary work and yeah,

Like that's it.

We have to set those boundaries and it's not just for us.

It's for our own self-love and our own self-esteem.

Sure,

But it's for them.

They will sprout wings and grow and fly if we set boundaries.

But if we're busy running around throwing cushions on the floor to make sure that they don't get hurt when,

When they fall over and they,

They make a mistake or they,

They do something stupid and we're like,

Oh,

Well I'll bail you out.

Let me bet.

Oh,

They just,

You know,

They had some tough luck.

No,

They didn't have tough luck.

They made a stupid choice and they need to learn not to make stupid choices.

So how are they going to learn not to make stupid choices if you're there to catch them?

You know,

And I'm not saying,

You know,

Hey,

If it happens once,

Fine,

But that's not what I'm talking about here.

It's patterns.

If you help somebody once,

Fine,

God bless you,

Man.

I do it.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's the patterns that we have to look out for helping somebody over and over.

If somebody comes to me for help and I help them and then all of a sudden a month later,

They come to me for help with a similar energy.

Like,

You know,

The problems always look a little different.

I mean,

These people aren't stupid.

They're manipulators.

They're usually very intelligent.

So they,

They,

There's a part of them that knows it has to look a little different.

They can't come with the exact same problem.

I mean,

Jesus,

If they come with the exact same problem and you're still helping them,

Stop it.

But they come with a different problem,

But it's the same type of problem.

They didn't take responsibility for that,

For that situation.

Oh,

Well,

You know,

Maybe you should start taking responsibility for your situation.

Oh yeah,

But I'm going to get evicted.

Well,

Yeah,

You're going to get evicted last time.

Maybe that's what you need because I saved you.

You didn't get evicted.

And then now you're in the same situation doing the same thing again.

So apparently you didn't learn the lesson you were supposed to learn.

So why would I do that again?

That's the definition of the insanity,

Doing the same thing over and over,

Expecting a different result.

So like,

So you make a mistake,

I bail you out.

You don't learn.

You make another mistake.

I bail you out.

You don't learn.

I make you make another mistake.

I bail you out.

You don't learn.

Like,

Why would they,

Why would they learn?

Why would they learn?

They're not going to learn because their life is not getting worse.

They're not experiencing the pain of their choices.

They're not experiencing the natural consequence.

And that's what it's all about.

We need to,

You want to take like a concept that takes everything that this entire world is going through and sums it up.

That concept is that we need to start living in accordance with natural law instead of against it.

This is what's causing our problems.

We are living against natural law.

We are not allowing the law of nature to work in our lives.

We are pretending that we are above the laws of nature.

And this is what's causing all of our suffering.

We are pretending we can destroy the earth and take whatever we want.

And there are no consequences.

We are pretending that we can take more than we need.

We can have people with billions of dollars while other people are starving.

And that's okay.

That's not in accordance with natural law.

We are pretending that there are no consequences for people's actions.

That is not in accordance with natural law.

If an animal does not go hunting or looking for vegetarian food,

If it's a vegetarian animal,

If they do not go foraging for food in some way,

Shape or form,

They die.

That is not a punishment.

That is natural law.

It's just a natural consequence.

And we need to live in accordance with this and allow other people to live in accordance with this.

That's loving.

Because then they learn to hunt.

They learn to take responsibility for their lives.

Their lives get better.

Oh,

They're going to go through some tough times.

Oh my God,

They're going through a tough time.

Do you know,

Have you been through tough times?

I know I have.

Do you know anybody who hasn't been through tough times?

I don't.

We all go through tough times.

So stop trying to prevent it and help them learn from it.

So I got to dive into these comments.

Hey Ingrid,

Thanks for joining.

I like the expression,

No one's coming.

Oh,

No one's coming to save you.

I'm assuming that's what you're talking about.

Yeah,

No one's coming.

You need to figure this out on your own.

I'm having a problem with men who want to jump into things too quickly.

I believe in a connection as friends first.

Very rare.

No,

It's not rare.

It's,

You know,

This is something,

Of course,

Me being a single guy,

I do a fair amount of reflection on relationships,

What I need to learn.

Is there anything I need to learn?

Dynamics of all this stuff.

Plus my brain works at core levels on everything.

So,

You know,

All that stuff.

And it's,

You know,

The thing we need to remember,

And you know,

I say this to myself first,

Is if you're single and want to be in a relationship,

Which I am single and I really enjoy being in relationships,

But I am not in one right now.

So the reason that I am not in one is my fault.

It's not women's fault.

And I can sit here and do a whole show on different dynamics of female and male roles that have changed.

And that can make things more complicated in the dating world.

And I've experienced some of these and all this stuff.

Faith,

I've experienced a lot of this stuff.

So it's,

There's something wrong with us.

It's all work is inside work.

We have to work through this stuff.

So if,

Like a guy wanting,

You know,

There's different things.

So I'm just going to touch on this.

I'm going to try to touch on a bunch of it quickly just to kind of get my point across.

And then I'm going to get back to more love based.

You know,

This is love based too.

But so I'm just going to pick it apart real quick.

I'm having a problem with men who want to jump.

You're not having a problem with men.

You're having a problem with yourself who want to jump into things too quickly.

That's not a problem.

If,

If a man wants to jump into quickly and you don't,

Then don't.

Just don't know,

Like just because somebody wants to jump into it quickly doesn't mean that you have to.

So sometimes maybe they have some aspect of dysfunction that they haven't worked through that being in a relationship with you,

Maybe that's why you met maybe you going,

Whoa,

I'm not moving this fast.

I need to take things slower and making sure that the relationship doesn't move too quickly.

Maybe you doing that is going to show them another way.

Maybe you're their teacher.

Now you have something to learn too.

So,

You know,

Both sides in a situation have something to learn.

So,

But I'm just saying,

You know,

That's a possibility just because somebody wants something and you don't want it doesn't.

This is what I mean.

Like we have to connect with,

If two people want to be in a relationship,

But one thinks they want to jump into quickly and one doesn't,

That doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong.

That means that there's something you two need to work through or it needs to end if you can't work through it.

That's all.

Doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong.

I believe in connection as friends first.

Yeah.

And,

And there's nothing wrong with that.

There's,

Um,

You know,

I know many people that had sex the first day they met and they're amazingly happy and love,

You know,

I,

And I know many people who started out as friends first.

I have,

I know many people who have done a little bit of both.

There's not one formula.

What you need to do is do what works for you.

And the last thing I'm gonna say about this is like perhaps sometimes we attract the wrong person.

Sometimes we're,

We're putting out something so we can go in and be like,

Okay,

What am I putting out?

Like,

So if you flip flop this,

You go,

Okay,

I'm attracting people I want to jump into quickly.

Okay.

So are you,

Are you in a vibration of complete openness?

Yeah.

I'm not really getting the,

The,

I'm not really getting the feeling that I'm hitting this correctly,

But what I'm telling you is to try to,

To try to look at yourself and say,

Well,

You know,

What's the opposite of what I'm attracting?

Because often opposites attract like perpetrators look for victims,

Right?

So if you're attracting perpetrators,

The problem isn't that you're the,

That perpetrators are coming.

The problem is that you're a victim.

So you need to change the victim vibration,

Okay,

Within yourself,

Then you'll stop attracting perpetrators.

Now that doesn't mean that never a perpetrator will knock on your door.

It just means that if they do,

They're going to meet you and you're not a good victim.

So you're not going to fall for their crap.

And they're probably going to walk away real quick as soon as they recognize that you're not a victim.

You see?

So that,

That,

That was a better example.

Okay.

So what else,

What else we got?

I'm going to probably wrap up with this.

I think the love in everyday situations,

This is from Suzanne Jefferson.

I think the love in everyday situations can be expressed by our actions with those we have come to love and those that have come to love us.

My husband is quadriplegic.

So I help him with a lot of his care and support him throughout the day and our lives,

Which has created a rich and tender partnership with each other.

Oh yeah.

Vulnerability,

Man.

You know,

That is just such a beautiful way of building love and connection.

Allowing yourself to be helped,

You know,

And openheartedly helping without expecting something in return.

It's just,

It's beautiful.

He returns his support by championing the goals I have set for myself long-term.

He is super emotionally supportive and together we make a pretty laid back couple who shows,

I don't know if I can,

I don't know if I can see the rest of that comment or if it ends.

Well,

I think maybe it's just saying,

They make a pretty laid back couple and it shows that they're supportive and together.

Yeah.

So,

You know,

It's situations like this,

It's,

You know,

I mean,

Of course being a quadriplegic has its drawbacks,

Let's be honest,

You know,

But I mean,

This is such a beautiful example of,

You know,

Really choosing how you're going to look at something and as a problem or as an opportunity.

If we use these things in our life to open our hearts and to get closer to love and to learn what's important and to interact,

I mean,

These two people can have a relationship based in love because of the experience of one of them being a quadriplegic that very few people are fortunate enough to experience on this planet as of now.

You know,

Think about that.

I mean,

And really what's more important in life?

You know,

What captures our attention visually?

Oh,

I want to do this.

I want to do that.

I want to do this.

Oh,

I can't.

Or living a heart filled life with somebody that you're very close with and supportive with,

And you can share your journey with.

I mean,

Oh my God,

That's like,

That's beautiful.

If we use our difficulties to open instead of close,

This is what we get.

We get pure love.

So thank you,

Suzanne,

For sharing that.

That was beautiful.

So,

Yeah,

So I just did my little check.

I got to touch on one last thing.

In everyday life,

You know,

Somebody mentioned it in the comments that negativity,

Anger,

Frustration is based in something else underneath.

And that is fear.

Everything negative is based in fear.

So if we understand that a lot of the things that we see externally,

If they are negative in any way,

At the core of them,

Way down at the bottom,

Is fear.

Somebody's scared of something and come from that understanding,

Then it's easier for us to bring in love instead of fighting against it.

Because these,

Especially the people who are allowed and attacking,

They look so dangerous and we have to protect ourselves from them.

So then we get fearful and scared because we have to protect ourselves from the bad people.

And then we get defensive and then we attack back or,

And sometimes we just call it defending.

Or we just get defensive.

Defending is tightening.

It's closing off.

It's,

I got to,

I got to watch out.

I got to protect myself.

I got to defend.

Like that is the dynamic where nothing happens because it's two fear-based energies battling one another and there's no progress ever.

So if we understand that the other side is coming from fear,

Like even the big evil government and,

And corporate corporations and this,

They're scared.

The reason that they're scared is if we find out that they have no power over us,

They lose the power over us.

So they need to scare us to make us think that they have power over us and that,

And that there's danger and only they can save us from that and all this stuff.

That's all fear-based.

If we anchor into our self love and we know that we are eternal spiritual beings having a human experience and we're good man,

And they can't hurt us.

And then we function from that.

And we look at all these scary people coming at us,

Doing all these things.

And we go,

Yeah,

I understand.

And you're,

You know,

This fear there,

I understand completely.

Now we're in love energy.

Now we can interact.

And this is how change happens.

This is how Nelson Mandela had conversations.

This is how Gandhi had conversations.

They didn't attack back.

They sat in a space of love.

And he said,

You know,

Gandhi was like,

Yeah,

You guys will walk out on your own accord someday.

And they were like,

Yeah,

Right.

We're in power.

We have the power.

We're not walking out of India.

This guy's crazy.

They don't even know themselves that they're driven by fear,

But they are,

But they don't know it.

But when we sit in a space of love and go,

Yeah,

Well,

We'll,

We'll beat you.

Yeah.

All right.

You can beat me.

I'm still not going to do what you say.

And there's billions of us.

So good luck.

You're going to beat us all.

Like,

No,

You'll leave.

And they left.

Why?

Because they just sat in love.

Love always begins,

Always,

You know,

That the,

And like,

There's a beautiful passage on my Facebook page and on my Instagram page that I shared yesterday,

I believe about this good alone is real.

We don't need to get caught up in the fear.

We don't need to defend ourselves from fear.

We need to stop believing in fear.

That's what we need to stop doing.

The only thing to fear is fear,

Believing in it,

Thinking it's real.

That's when there's a problem.

If the understanding that good alone is real,

There is no opposite to God.

There is no opposite to our creator.

If our creator is pure love,

How does he create hate?

Fear is hate is a version of fear.

Fear is just absence of love.

It's not a thing.

It's an illusion.

So if we anchor ourselves into love,

Nothing can hurt us.

Nothing can hurt us.

So anchor into that.

And then your energy is love.

And then the fear attacks and it lands on nothing.

You're like,

No.

Yeah,

But I'm going to do this.

No.

Yeah,

But I have control over you because I'll make you do this.

No.

We don't have to fight against it.

Just starve it.

And if we do that collectively,

And we can,

Because this is all,

We are all like this at our core.

We are all like this at our core.

We are all love at our core.

And there's more good people on this planet than bad by far.

I mean,

It's probably,

I mean,

Pretty bad people like,

You know,

Not crazy psychotic.

I mean,

But something you'd classify as really bad is probably like 10% on the planet.

90% of the people on this planet are very good people at their core.

Some of them have issues that are blocking it,

But what solves that?

Love.

Anger and discipline doesn't solve it.

It doesn't.

You know,

They've proven this with studies.

Negative reinforcement does not change negative behavior.

It doesn't do it.

It's negative on negative.

You get more negative.

You don't get positive.

You can't smash two negatives together and get a positive.

It doesn't work that way.

You get a bigger ball of negative.

This is why our prison system doesn't work and everything,

You know,

I'm not saying we have to dismiss our prison system tomorrow and let everybody run free.

What I'm saying is our system doesn't work.

So,

So love based does work,

Please.

So the,

The,

The way this works is be the change you wish to see in the world.

Foundational wisdom.

Work on loving yourself,

Work on loving yourself.

And then after that work on loving yourself,

Live from the overflow in healthy ways.

When negativity comes out,

You do your best.

And I know I don't do it perfectly.

Nobody else is probably going to do it perfectly.

Do your best to react in love.

How pause for a moment before you react,

Choose how you're going to,

How you're going to deal with the situation.

Choose it consciously.

I am going to do first center yourself,

Let go,

Do whatever you got to do to get rid of the anger.

Run around swearing,

Exercise,

Write it out on an email,

But don't send it paper,

Whatever,

Scream,

Reframe it in your mind to where you're not a victim of that,

Whatever pissed you off because you must be thinking you're a victim.

Otherwise you wouldn't be upset by it.

You must think they have power over you or you wouldn't be upset by it.

So work through your own fear,

Get to a place of love and then interact from that.

Do that to the best of your ability in your day to day life at the water cooler,

At the grocery store line,

At the gas station and watch what happens to this world.

This world isn't a thing.

It's a collection of things and it's a collection of us.

We determine the vibration and the quality of life on this earth.

We do.

Every one of us does.

We contribute to that and if more people are contributing a loving energy into this world,

We will have love in this world.

Right now people are caught up into the negativity and the surfacy stuff.

Let go of all the surfacy stuff.

Go deeper.

That's where the truth lies.

Anchor in love,

Interact with it in your daily life to the best of your ability and watch what happens.

Not only is your life going to change,

The lives of people around you are going to change.

Some people will probably go away and they might be a little heartbroken at first,

But it's going to be better because they were negative and they couldn't stand it.

So let them go and your life is going to be better and better and better and better and the world around you is going to be getting better and better and better and better.

That's it,

Man.

This is how change happens.

It happens with us doing it,

Man.

Everything is a grassroots campaign.

Collective consciousness drives what happens.

We create reality.

So if a bunch of,

Most people are thinking negatively,

We live in a negative world.

If most people are thinking positively,

We live in a positive world.

It's that simple.

We do have the capability of changing this world and I don't give a crap what conspiracy theory that you're anchored into,

They do not have control over us.

They don't.

They can do stuff.

Some people believe in that stuff,

Some people don't and I'm not even getting into that discussion about what I feel about it and what I don't.

It doesn't matter because it's surfacing.

You've got to go below even that and that's big,

Right?

So usually we talk about,

Well,

Yeah,

We got to go bigger,

You know,

We got to think deeper.

Yeah,

We do have to think deeper.

So we go,

Oh,

Okay,

So it's not,

It's not like my boss isn't an asshole.

Like,

Yeah,

Okay,

I get it.

Yeah,

All right.

But yeah,

But there's global domination coming.

That's huge.

So I'm supposed to focus on that,

Right?

No,

That's just another story that's wrecking your reality.

It's preventing you from being in love.

That's what it's doing.

As long as you put your attention on any story that bleeds negativity,

You're in negative vibration.

And if you think it controls you,

Then it controls you.

If you don't think it controls you,

It doesn't.

I mean,

You know,

It takes some work,

But I mean,

It's,

It's true.

I'm stretching your minds here.

I know a lot of you are going like,

I don't know,

Go on.

It seems pretty real.

I understand that.

Please just stretch your mind a little bit.

And,

And you,

And just do what you can in your daily life.

I don't even care if you agree with what I'm saying.

As far as that big picture stuff,

Just,

Just do what you can in the environment that you're in,

In a love based way where you can to the best of your ability.

And in time,

You will see what I'm talking about,

Because this spiritual shift is unfolding very quickly right now.

And the results of what I'm talking about are already showing themselves more and more and more.

And over the next year,

You're,

We're like,

I,

I'll have a laundry list of examples of exactly this.

I already have some,

But you know,

There's a couple and I'll have a laundry list a year from now though.

So anchor in love.

That's the answer.

That's always the answer.

That's the solution.

Work.

All work is inside work.

Start within,

Start bringing it out into the world to the best of your ability and whatever situation you're in.

And we'll go from there and I'll meet you in utopia.

Five years.

That'd be nice.

All right.

Thank you everybody.

Hey,

Rose.

Thank you.

I have to say hi to Rose.

Thank you for joining us.

And thank you,

Rhonda,

For your,

For your questions and your comments.

Suzanne gray and grid buddy,

Lisa,

All you guys.

Thank you,

Nicole.

Thank you guys.

Lisa,

The other Lisa.

Thank you guys for participating.

Thank you guys for your comments.

Thank everybody that that left their comments on my question earlier.

That was immensely helpful.

And if you haven't read those comments,

Go back and read those comments,

Man.

I mean,

This stuff is beautiful.

We live in a beautiful world with lots of beautiful people with very deep insights.

And so you're not alone.

We are really in a wonderful community.

So that is going to do it.

Thank you all for listening and I'm out peace.

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