You are in control of your thoughts.
It may not always seem like it,
But it is the truth.
Staying in the present moment,
Thinking in the present moment,
Allows us to create control and helps us connect emotionally to the correct feelings,
Thoughts,
And even the experience at hand.
Joy Lachey from Lubbock,
Texas wrote in and said,
Danielle,
I've listened to your most recent podcast episode about impatience.
I haven't actually missed a single episode,
But this one has got me twisted.
I can't get your voice out of my head.
All I can think about is how I don't live in the present moment,
And I feel like I have an Olympic gold medal in impatience.
Oh no,
You walked us through a few things to help with impatience and present moment thinking,
But no matter how hard I try,
I find myself thinking about the past and putting everything on tomorrow.
Help.
I'm actually really frustrated and more impatient.
I know that wasn't your intention,
But I have to be missing something.
It all seems so simple until I try to put it into action.
You've helped me in so many ways.
Please help me again.
How can I keep my thoughts in the present?
Joy,
First,
Breathe,
Sis.
It's okay,
I feel you,
I've got you.
For everyone else feeling like Joy,
No worries.
I don't want you more frustrated,
And I certainly don't want you more impatient.
I am going to give you a much more straightforward,
Simpler thinking strategy that you can put in place right now,
And hopefully it will help you.
So let's get to that.
And the first place that we really wanna start is by looking at what present moment thinking is.
It's being here,
Now,
Where you are aware and mindful of what's happening at this very moment.
It's like listening to this podcast.
You're locked in,
You're keyed in,
You're here with me following my voice and the thoughts that are being produced.
You're not listening to me and then thinking about 50 other things.
If you are,
That's not being mindfully present.
But if you are here in the present moment,
You're not distracted by the rumination of the past or worrying about the future,
But you are centered in this time,
In this day.
Being mindfully present means that you are witnessing,
Accepting,
And finding gratitude for what is happening right now.
It's being focused on the haves and not the have-nots.
It's mindful presence,
Right here,
Right now.
So how do we get there?
One way is this simple thinking strategy.
And I'm gonna be honest,
Not gonna be fun at first.
I'm sorry.
Why?
Because I want you to use this process throughout your day for a set period of time.
And I really would love to see you make a conscious effort for nothing short of 40 days.
That seems like a really long time,
But it's really not.
When we're talking about creating something new or really even shifting a mindset and a thought process,
But I'll take whatever you're gonna give me.
A 40 days seems like a lot.
Start with four,
Right?
And the purpose of this is to guide your mind back to the present moment,
Instead of thinking in the terms of the past or the future.
As you can clearly see,
It can make you feel uncomfortable,
Insecure,
And even anxious.
So when you catch yourself in the past or the future,
The first thing I want you to try is to stop.
Literally make the effort to stop.
Stop the train of thought.
Stop the mindset.
Stop,
Stop,
Stop.
Ask yourself,
Is this happening right now?
Is this thought happening because of my present moment?
Does this thought have impact on my life right this second?
There's only three options,
Right?
Yes,
No,
Maybe,
I'm not so sure.
No matter your answer,
Take in your surroundings.
We wanna ground ourselves.
We wanna ground to a place of noticing.
Is this happening right now?
Where are you?
What do you see?
Did you ever play that game I spy as a kid?
You know,
Take note of what's happening around you.
I spy a car.
I spy a person walking on the sidewalk,
Whatever it is.
You know,
Maybe you are walking and you notice the birds overhead,
Or maybe you're at work and you can hear someone on the phone.
Perhaps you're in a traffic jam and you see someone jamming out to something totally hitting,
Right?
And all of the good feeling emotions in the car next to you.
Take it all in.
Take in the external first because this is often the easiest way to ground and when we are there,
We turn inward,
Right?
Not inward first,
Because inward is a lot harder for us to access.
So go out,
Then in.
And once inside,
In order to get present,
I want you to ask yourself,
What's happening in my body?
Do I feel okay?
What's happening within my feelings?
Have the thoughts taken root and involved my emotional body?
Now let's quickly go over the thought process for anyone that's new here.
As a cognitive behavioral therapist,
I spend a great amount of time teaching people how their thoughts work and how we live in a world of thoughts,
Feelings,
And actions.
And if you've listened to this podcast regularly,
Like Joy has,
You may already know this,
But it's worth kind of moving through quickly.
So a thought comes in.
If you connect with that thought,
Positive or negative,
It really doesn't matter.
Your emotional body rises and answers the call.
You've had an awful doom and gloom thought?
No worries,
I'm here to help,
Your emotional body says.
Had a great joyful thought?
No worries,
I'm here to help.
You connect to the thought,
The emotional body matches the thought,
And you take action.
So you have a connected thought.
What is happening within you?
Can you see how quickly these three quick evaluations,
These thoughts,
These questions can bring you right into the present moment,
Right?
We have stopped the train from heading into the past or the future,
And we're right here right now.
And as we are here,
I want you to check in with your breath.
If you are engaging in unhelpful thoughts or anxious,
Depressed,
Or not even present moment thoughts,
There's this natural tendency to hold your breath and alter your breathing pattern.
Your brain needs oxygen.
You know that already,
Right?
If you listen to the untangling from impatience episode,
Which I will link in the show notes,
You heard me talk about the fact that the brain uses oxygen,
Not only as food to keep it going,
But also as a radar to know if you're safe or not.
If the quality of your breath is diminished because you're thinking uncomfortable thoughts,
Your brain is not getting what it needs.
And from there,
It begins to go in fight,
Flight,
Or freeze,
Into panic mode,
Into this sort of checkpoint of,
Am I safe?
Do I need to flee from that tiger,
Right?
Is this thing going to make me unsafe,
Uncomfortable?
So I want you to check in.
Am I breathing?
Do I need to take a good deep breath to reset?
Do I need to reset my nervous system somehow?
And if you can get to that place,
Then you're going to be totally present moment aware.
And from there,
We're going to go back to our original question.
Am I thinking in the present moment?
Getting to the root of what's happening in your mind or taking your mind offline is how we get to the now.
And if there's something that is taking you out of this moment,
Ask yourself,
Is there an action that needs to be taken right now that will help support me in the present moment?
If there's not,
If you cannot come up with a solution or something that must be handled right here,
Right now,
Give yourself permission to choose a new thought.
Shifting your thoughts is always important and it's always available.
This is all about choice.
It's about witnessing.
It's about being patient.
It's about asking yourself,
What am I thinking?
What am I doing?
Am I 100% present?
And then allowing yourself to make a small shift or a small change.
If something isn't helpful,
Isn't it time to create something that is?
Now,
I'm going to give you one bonus question.
You can ask yourself too,
If this process is really simple for you and this allows you to get into a deeper perspective.
And that question is,
Why?
Why is this thought coming up now?
Am I thinking in a pattern that I haven't released or have I been triggered and that whatever is coming forward really could support me in the present moment?
This is a deeper question,
But it actually benefits the right now if you can allow the negativity to get out of the way and into a space of understanding.
So those steps again,
Stop.
Number two,
Notice your surroundings.
Three,
Notice what's happening outside of you and around you.
Four,
Notice what's happening within.
Notice what's happening inside.
Number five,
Check your breath.
Six,
Ask yourself what's happening.
And that bonus,
Is there something more for me in this thought that I must explore?
Joy,
You do have the power to be patiently present.
You do have the power to have control over your thought process,
As we all do.
Once we stop the noise in our heads,
The frustration,
It goes away.
The I can't,
I don't know how,
All leaves because you have the power to return yourself back to center,
Back to the basics.
One single question can be your best friend.
It's how we learn.
It's how we get to the bottom of what we need and want.
So ask yourself questions.
I hope this helps.
I challenge each of you to think through this framework for the next 40 days and see what happens.
You deserve to think your best.
You deserve to feel your best.
This will help you get there.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode,
Which originally aired on the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast.
Please take the time to review this conversation and follow me here on Insight Timer for more courses,
Meditations,
And additional conversations.
Until next time,
Be kind to yourself and others.
