'Successful' Yet Unsatisfied; What's Going On?

In this track, I share my story of how I spent a lifetime searching for something that was 'missing'. I had an ongoing sense that, although everything in my outer world appeared to reflect 'success' and 'perfection' it didn't feel that way. Here, we explore why the experience you are having may not be coming from the outside but from somewhere else entirely.

Transcript

Welcome,

I'm Vicki Montague,

A wellbeing and possibility coach.

I spent most of my life confined by and led by my restricted negative thinking.

Now I share what I've discovered about living a life free from limits,

Reconnecting people to their unlimited potential to achieve what appears impossible.

Today I want to talk about having what appears to be a successful life yet feeling completely unsatisfied or as if there's something missing.

I'm gonna start by sharing my story around this and what I've seen around it since.

So for many many years I had this sense that I wasn't entirely happy I guess that there was something missing from my life and a general feeling of unsatisfactoriness if that's even a word.

A sense of there being more to life I guess.

And yet when I looked at my life it appeared that I had everything that one would term successful or that one would consider to be perfect.

So I had an income,

I had a home to live in that was warm,

I had food in the cupboards in the fridge,

I had a lovely husband and two wonderful children,

I had money in the bank.

So for all intents and purposes for somebody looking into my life they would have considered it to have been perfect I guess,

Nothing wrong and successful.

So what was going on?

Well I spent many many years on a search to find that answer I guess.

I did multiple self-help things.

I read every self-help book that's going,

I learnt neuro-linguistic programming,

I trained in counselling skills,

I did EFT,

Tapping,

Meditation,

Mindfulness,

Everything I'm sure that you have also done if you're here listening to this.

And yet there was still this ongoing search,

This ongoing sense that there was something not quite right,

That there was something wrong.

And then one day I heard a lady and she was talking about a similar experience I guess.

And she was pointing to what was going on inside her.

She was pointing to what her thoughts were telling her.

And it kind of stopped me in my tracks because what I heard her effectively say was,

You don't have to listen to your thinking,

You don't have to believe your thoughts.

Now up until that point I had believed probably every thought that I had noticed and those thoughts were less than satisfactory.

So they were often involving a what-if question.

What if this happens to me?

What if that happens?

In an anxiety-anxious kind of way,

In a trying to work out how I would deal with something if it happened,

If the worst case scenario happened.

I spent most of my time berating myself and listening to thoughts around being not enough,

Of being bad at things,

Of not being a good enough mum,

Not being a good enough husband,

No,

Not being a good enough wife,

Of not being good enough at work,

Of not what I'm doing,

Of needing a purpose.

So there was this constant narrative in the mind of negativity I guess.

And what I heard this lady say was,

You don't have to listen to that.

That every thought is neutral.

Every thought is made from the same thing.

So if you consider you might have a thought,

Oh I fancy a cup of tea,

And you might have a thought,

Oh I'm a terrible parent.

Essentially they're made from the same thing.

They're made from who knows what,

When we really look at it.

It seems to me just a puff of energy that pops into the mind,

That pops into awareness,

Into consciousness,

And then disappears.

Except some don't disappear.

Some we pay particular attention to,

Like the I'm not good enough.

And when we pay attention to those thoughts,

When we believe them I guess,

They come with a particular feeling.

So the I'm not good enough thought,

That comes with a feeling of restriction,

With a feeling of doom,

With a feeling of being unsatisfied,

Of being unsatisfactory.

And so as I explored this I realized that I was living in the feeling of my thinking.

Now I'll say that again because that's huge.

It's not really what we ever consider.

It's not really what we're ever told.

But this sense of everything being okay in the outside world,

And yet then there being a feeling of being unsatisfied,

That was coming from my thinking.

It was coming from what I was believing,

What I was paying attention to in my mind,

Was creating these feelings of not enough,

Of being unsatisfied.

And in that moment my life effectively changed.

Nothing on the outside changed,

But everything on the inside changed.

I no longer paid so much attention to those thoughts and what I noticed is that when I paid less attention to them they passed through the system like the I would love a cup of tea or I wonder what's for dinner tonight.

They had less meaning and they had less impact on my feeling,

On my state.

So if you're feeling that something's missing,

That you're successful yet unsatisfied,

Take a look at what's going on in your mind.

What thoughts are you paying attention to and what do those thoughts feel like?

And just have a little explore there and then pop in,

Leave me a comment.

I'd love to hear how you get on with this.

Sending so much love.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Thank you for this insightful meditation Vicki, I can definitely relate to the message because I also went through a very long period of time believing that I was simply not good enough. I believe however, that I was also listening to the thoughts and views of other people and wasn't confident enough to ignore them. Once I really began to believe in myself, I was able to ignore the inner and outer chatter a lot easier. Thanks once again, namaste 🙏🏾☀️

I really really like the entire time that you spent telling me about your experience/ I related to your story completely. It will help me. Thank you. I see what errors I have made.

I’m practicing that - not listening so much my thoughts. I have so many things to be grateful for 💗

Thanks so much the rich, yet simple explanation. Let go of the thoughts, feel more authentic.

Thank you for this. Your thoughts struck a chord in me today. Much to think about regarding thoughts and feelings.

Thank you for sharing your insights . much love and gratitude ❤️🙏🌸🕊️

3 for 3 on your first 3 tracks here Vicki, I love how you point out our thoughts all come from the same place.. our internal talk. From having a cup of tea to I’m not good enough at something. Yet we let one thought pas by and cling to another. It’s finally making sense to me as it has for you. Our thoughts are made up from whatever pops in our head and Don’t Need To be True!!!! And can certainly limit us if we take them for truth. Yet this is what we so often do… take them for truth… Especially the negative ones right? And cling on to them, repeating them day after day!
Let that shit go is what I’m feeling in the moment here😊. Thank you once again for shining the light on this simple concept!

Love this, beautiful words of wisdom . If you really hear this it can literally change your life.

Such a simple yet profound explanation of how we can reach inner peace.

I love how you describe the process of thoughts going through the system

“You don’t have to believe your thoughts”, I imagine this being taught at school, and how the world would be changed… Thank you for sharing your inspiring story, Vicki.

Totally with you on the link between thoughts, feelings and actions. Thank you for sharing your journey with this. 🙏

What a beautiful and insightful offering. Thank you Vicki Montague for pointing to something so simple and yet so profound: we are always living in the feeling of our thinking.

Loved listening to your talk Vicki - the less attention I give to my thoughts the better I feel - it really is life changing. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Seeing that all thoughts are made of the same “stuff” is really powerful. 😊

This gives me something to think about. Such a great voice quality and as an American, your British accent is quite lovely to listen to! ;-)

Thank you Vicki. I can really relate to your story. Mine is very similar ♥️