Healing the internal conflict in relationships.
Many times there is an internal conflict in the desire for independence,
The desire to do what you want when you want and be independent versus the desire for dependency,
To be able to rely on another,
To trust another,
To be in relationship,
In deep committed relationship with another.
As long as this conflict exists,
It blocks us from being able to trust,
Let go,
And surrender into a relationship.
This process will help you to heal this conflict and to be free to enjoy the benefits of deep committed relationships.
First of all,
Begin to recognize and tune into the part of yourself,
The part of yourself that wants to be independent.
And then recognize that there's a part of you that wants to be dependent,
To fall back into the arms of another,
To be taken care of,
To be nurtured,
To be coddled.
So think about the part of you that wants to be dependent,
The part of you that wants to trust another so much that you can allow yourself to be dependent,
That you can trust enough to let go of defenses.
Think about the part of you that wants that,
Wants to be dependent.
Begin to feel that part of you in your body.
Begin to feel where that part of you resides.
And allow these feelings to become more intense,
And allow yourself to place your hands gently for a moment on that place in your body where these feelings reside.
And this should be a place in your core body,
Below your head and above your legs,
Where you feel the feelings of wanting to be dependent.
And now allow these feelings to become more intense.
Allow them to dislodge from the place in which they reside in your body,
To move up to your left shoulder,
Moving down your left arm,
Moving down your left arm into your left hand,
Which is now resting palm up on your legs.
Sitting gently with both hands resting in your lap facing palm up,
Become aware of the energy that is in your left hand that represents the part of you that wants to be dependent.
And allow that energy to begin to take a form that you can see.
Allow it to take a form that you can see,
A symbol that represents your desire for dependency.
What is the symbol that you see?
Thank it for showing it to you,
And let it know that you'll be back in a moment.
And now begin to think about the part of you that wants to be independent.
The part of you that wants to do what you want,
The part of you that doesn't want someone else to tell you what to do,
The part of you that can take care of yourself,
And that loves freedom,
And that loves independence.
The part of you that loves independence,
Get a sense and a feeling of what that means to you.
Feel it in your body,
And allow that feeling to become so strong that it begins to find form in your body.
Where in your body does this part reside?
Notice any feelings in your body that are associated with this part of you that wants to be independent.
Touch with your right hand the part in your body where these feelings reside.
Good.
Kind of gently moving your right hand back to your lap,
Palm up.
Gently allow those feelings to depart from that spot and move gently up into your right shoulder.
All of that energy moving to the right shoulder and down the right arm until it moves to the open palm,
Your right open palm resting on your lap.
As that energy moves down,
It begins to take form and it becomes a symbol that you can see.
What is the symbol that you see?
It is the first thing that comes to your mind.
Thank it for showing up.
Now ask that symbol to relax and let it know you'll be back in a moment.
Bring your attention to the part in your left hand now.
Thank you for waiting.
I told you that I would be back and now I'm back and I have a question for you.
What is the benefit or gift that you are trying to accomplish for me by having me be dependent?
By having me rely on others to take care of me?
What is the gift or benefit that you are really trying to accomplish for me?
Continue to ask until you get a benefit that anyone would value,
A core benefit.
You may need to continue to ask,
And what would that give me?
And what would that give me?
Will you come to an answer that is a core value that anyone would value?
Such as peace or trust or comfort,
Love.
When you get that benefit or gift,
Thank that part of you in your left hand.
Thank you.
I want that gift.
That's important to me.
I want to fully embrace that gift in my life.
Thank you so much.
Now I'll be back in just a moment.
And now gently move your awareness to your right hand.
And tell that part of you,
Thank you for waiting.
I told you I would be back and I have come back.
And I have a question for you that I would like to ask.
What is the benefit or the gift you are trying to accomplish for me by having me be independent?
What is the gift you are trying to accomplish for me by having me completely take care of myself and do what I want when I want to be completely independent?
Tell me what is the gift you are trying to accomplish for me.
I want you to ask until you get a value and a gift that anyone would value and appreciate.
And then tell yourself,
Thank you.
I want that gift.
That's important to me and an important part of what I want.
Thank you so much.
And I have a question for you.
Can you understand that the gift that the left side of me is trying to give me is important as well?
Can you understand that the gift that the part of me that is dependent really has for me is important?
Can you accept and allow me to embrace that gift as well?
And when you get a yes,
Move on to the left side of you,
The part of you that wants to be dependent.
Thank you for waiting.
I told you I would be back and I am.
I have a question for you.
Can you understand and appreciate the value and the usefulness of the benefit that the other part of me is really trying to give me by wanting me to be independent?
Can you value it as well and embrace it as well and understand it?
And when it says yes,
Let's explain the need to work together now in new and effective ways.
Both parts are important.
The part of you that wants to be dependent is important and the gift that it brings is important.
And the part of you that wants to be independent and the gift that it truly wants for you is important.
So both parts of you now work together and come together to create something new.
Some new way to accomplish both of their functions.
Getting the clarity and the openness to attract new wonderful ways of being in relationship now.
Now gently bring both of your hands up off your lap about six inches and turn the palms facing each other about 12 to 15 inches apart.
See the symbol in each of your palms.
See a field of energy now swirling around each hand,
Each palm,
Each symbol and slowly,
Very slowly begin to merge the hands bringing them closer and closer.
Very slowly.
See the energy field moving in and around the two palms.
The energy expanding,
This field expanding,
Beginning to merge as the hands come closer and closer together.
Energy is swirling around both of the hands,
Swirling around the symbols as the hands come in closer and closer together.
Closer.
And as the hands come almost to touch you can feel the energy between them and bring the hands totally together in a side clasp.
Melding the two symbols,
Melting,
Dissolving the two symbols,
Completely dissolving.
And very gently begin to open the hands.
And as you open the hands you notice that a brand new symbol has emerged resting in your hands.
A totally and completely new symbol.
Notice what it is.
What was two is now one.
Now ask this new symbol,
This new image.
What is the gift you are here to give me?
Thank you.
I want that gift.
Now bring this gift,
This new image,
This new symbol and place it on your heart.
Allow it to move into your heart and with every breath take it deeper into your body.
Imagine this new image moves into your heart,
Multiplying itself into hundreds and thousands and millions of these little symbols moving through your heart,
Being pumped through your bloodstream now.
Millions of the symbols representing the new integration into your being.
With every breath feel this new symbol moving in through your lungs.
Hundreds and thousands and millions of the tiny symbols moving in through every cell of your body.
To your lungs and your heart,
To your bloodstream,
And to your bones and muscles.
And let the feeling that you now have take you all the way into your past,
To just before you were born.
See in your mother's womb,
Feeling this way.
As both sperm and egg allow yourself to continue going back into all the branches of your family history.
And now with the feeling deeply within your history,
In both the branches of your history.
See how everything is different and can be different in the way relationships are done,
In a balanced acceptance of dependency and independence.
An integration,
A new way of relationships.
So gently bring it back up through all the branches of your family and through the years of your life to this present moment.
Watch it continue to gently unfold into your future as one who is balanced,
Who can accept dependency and accept independence.
And notice how you feel as you bring these experiences fully present now.
