Reliability.
The high roads to your heart and soul.
You also experience how reliable are people and what is reliability.
Reliability is consistent behaviour which produces a same pattern of behaviour again and again.
This implies that you can expect a same reaction on an action.
Reliability is based on the expectation of personal behaviour through experience.
Yes,
Reliability is very important in our life.
Everybody has its own story of people who did let them down or betrayed them.
But how many stories did you hear of people who are reliable,
Who did do what they were expected to do,
Who kept their words in spite of everything?
Most of the time these people are not mentioned because in the new world you can find many people who are still reliable.
The unreliable people are a minority,
An exception and not the standard.
Reliability is shared by most of us.
The few bad people do have influence on our life as they shock us with their deeds.
We are not used to it.
The reason why we are not used to it is that it only happens sometimes.
It is occasionally happening and that hurts.
If it happens all the time it will not bother us and we are prepared.
Let me tell you a simple story.
When you date a girl in Colombia it is common to make an appointment and show up hours later.
You know,
The tradition is to be late and sometimes it don't show up at all.
A party will continue when you are not around or your date is not around.
Nobody really cares.
For most people it sounds unreliable but it is a common rule and everybody seems to say,
Hey,
It's OK with me.
It is never called unreliable.
This implies that reliability has a strong cultural component.
But what if you make an agreement on the business table in the same country to build a house before a set date?
Will they be easy on you when you come a month or more too late?
Do not expect that.
But the interesting thing is that when you date in a Western country and you are too late,
It is no fun anymore and you mostly discover the date to be gone,
Finished and it will hardly ever continue at all.
And on the other side we expect the house to be delivered too late even when a date is fixed under a tenfold contract.
We expect it to be late.
As a last example I like to use my own experience in Asia saying no is not OK.
In most countries in Asia it's like losing your face,
Like telling I am not capable to do it.
This is culturally not acceptable.
When you ask a yes or a no question you really always get a yes as a reply even when you know it's not possible.
This also happens in business.
This is a part of the culture and not seen as being unreliable.
Reliability is based on agreements and trust.
There are no written rules and regulations on reliability.
No way.
This makes reliability so hard to understand.
If a person or company is reliable we need to test it first.
We have expectations of the other personal company when we start to make an agreement if the person is reliable or not.
When we look careful at reliability we must conclude that it is based on expectation only.
We expect something to happen.
When this actually is happening the person involved is considered reliable.
When it's not happening the person is called unreliable.
This makes reliability unpredictable and that can make us insecure.
How strong are your expectations of reliability?
What level of reliability do you expect of others?
Let me start to make a personal tool of measurement.
Give everybody,
No matter it's a person,
Company or organization,
A number of your line of reliability.
Start with a zero and go up to a ten.
Zero means completely unreliable.
A ten implies you can trust this with your life.
Keep in mind to be careful and keep your reservations.
It's not possible to give a ten to any company or organization.
If you like to know why,
Contact me and I will personally explain you that.
What effects do reliability have on your life,
On our life?
The effects of reliability are used in our everyday life.
Most of what we do depends on it.
We do a job and expect to get paid.
When the payment comes and the amount is right we consider the paying party a reliable partner.
We live in a house,
We pay the rent and expect the owner to take care of the house.
When they do take care we consider them reliable and if they don't you have a problem.
Even when they are unreliable this goes on and on in every aspect of our life.
Reliability was and will be the cornerstone in society and personal life.
If it is lost,
We are lost.
Around us we see the decline of reliability but in fact there is only an increase of it all the time.
Our society is more reliable than ever before in this country but we have to go a long way.
There is still a lot to change and a lot to improve.
Why do we think that life is more unreliable than ever?
The main reason why we think this way is that our expectations become over demanded and no longer reasonable.
Our society is developing in a high speed and mistakes are made.
We discover new mistakes or become victim of it and we consider it as cheating and unreliable.
Our expectation is backfaction of things and that are constantly changing and moving and far from perfect.
It's not possible to change without mistakes.
Progress is not perfect and there are always victims.
It is a hard bargain if the victim is you or me or we.
That is not nice.
It's important to look inside our life and expectations.
Maybe you can change something in a way you expect things.
Often when you become more realistic it helps to avoid problems and stay out of trouble.
Two things we must be aware of when we want to check reliability.
That is the expectation of outcome and is it a realistic offer?
If I promise you that you win in the lottery,
You rationally will understand that it's not possible.
But emotionally you expect that it is possible for you to do it.
Here you prefer to let your emotions and expectations rule even knowing it's not a realistic offer.
When you lose you blame the seller of being unreliable.
Question to you.
Is that fair?
How can you judge reliability better?
In the life of every person it's important to judge the reliability of others and the situations more accurately.
To do this I would like to give you some important and always easy to use guidelines.
Let me start.
Keep it always simple and at time.
The first.
What is the offer?
You ask yourself,
Is it realistic or not?
Think about the offer of a car for only a little amount of money.
You can expect the car to be broken,
Stolen or malfunctioning.
Nobody sells a good car for a price lower than the value.
That is what you understand.
Then you go to the second question.
Who is offering it?
Check out the person or organisation or company who is offering what you like to have.
What are the guarantees?
Does it have a history?
Are there satisfied customers or not?
And what do others say about it?
But this is also tricky.
You are living in a time where you can buy phones,
You can remark and be hired.
And companies work to post comments and on social media and so on.
You can Facebook,
Twitter,
All kinds of companies try to influence you.
So you always have to be skeptical because too good is never good.
Then,
When you need a person,
It's very important to look at the body language.
People talk in words but their body shows 80% of your communication.
And that is the real message.
Observe a person when making you an offer or when you enter in agreement.
Believe me,
Even in a love affair,
Maybe it comes more clear than ever,
The cheating person shows a lot more of body language than the talking does.
So the sweet words to nice stories with the mouth.
Look at the body.
Does it really is the same as the word coming out of that mouth?
And then the next.
Believe is important for reliability.
When you believe in a person,
Organization or other things,
It is easier to consider it reliable.
That is one weak side of belief.
When you are truly believe,
Please know that humans fail and expect them to do so.
We humans are not divine.
We make mistakes.
So whatever the message is,
Reserve self-respect to keep some skepticism and feeling of mistrust.
A message is a message and the message is from a human.
So reserve a bit of self for yourself.
The next one.
Communication is always needed in every contact.
Interpretation of the same words can be completely different,
Especially between genders.
When you are not sure the message has been well received,
Test it before you leave.
Be sure all parties have the same interpretation of the words.
Understanding the same is the foundation of trust and reliability.
Ask,
Ask,
Ask.
And the last one.
Keep space for errors.
Reliability needs space for improvement.
This is true,
But expect.
When you need to fly a plane or a rocket in space,
Then you cannot have much space for errors.
So this is one of the exceptions that you really have to keep in mind.
You don't like to fly in a plane with a lot of mistakes.
Know when you allow space in interpretation and in action.
Big difference.
Sometimes you need to be upset and other times just let it go.
If you apply these rules,
Most of the time,
Then you're safe.
Another more important thing in reliability is you yourself.
How reliable are you?
Do you know how reliable are you?
Are you consciously almost in your agreements to give reliability,
Allow you to expect the same return?
Most of the time.
It is important to understand that reliability has a mirror effect.
When the person is not reliable,
Their reflection is the same.
If you want reliability,
You need to give it and be a sample of it.
Now we get the questions and answers.
First question.
My partner is a cheater.
I already found my partner having affairs.
What can I do?
Answer.
If the partner has different affairs and you do not agree with it,
Why did you not leave after the first affair?
By staying,
You approved with it.
Reliability is when the two sides make an agreement and live with it.
Even the agreement is not written down.
You stay after the first affair,
There was a sign for your partner to expect you will stay after the second and the third and so on.
The partner rely on the fact that you forgive and stay.
Question two.
On the internet I saw a real nice product for a very cheap price.
After I did order and received it,
It proved to be fake and bad.
I considered this very unreliable company.
What do you think?
Answer two.
Reading an extraordinary bargain in the internet must make you already consider how reliable it can be.
Your first action should be to check other places for the same product and compare prices.
When the prices are too far apart,
It is surely not possible that the product can be real.
Companies want to make a profit,
But in the current world the profit margins are between 20 and 50% at the most.
So when you see the prices much more different than that amount,
You really have to question yourself and the offer.
Question three.
In my family we have the agreement to visit my parents every weekend.
My sister is withdrawing from the agreement more and more and shows very unreliable behaviour.
What can I do?
Answer three.
Did you talk to your sister for the reason?
Maybe your sister has good reasons such as an argument with your parents,
Historical events in the family that is blocking her,
Personal commitments she has to keep or maybe she expects a baby.
There are terms of reasons why your sister shows this behaviour and only open communication can solve the problem of reliability.
Question four.
To lose my weight I visit a dietary expert.
This expert is telling me to eat and drink all kinds of things that I do not like and want.
She tells me I'm a very unreliable person and that is why I am fat.
Is that true?
Answer four.
No.
Your expert is no expert.
You mentioned that you do not like to eat and drink what she is telling you.
Did you tell her that?
Reliability is too side.
You should make her clear you do not want to eat and drink what she tells you and ask for alternatives.
If the expert tells you to continue you stop and seek out for it.
Being reliable is also communicating your personal values to others.
Question five.
I have a serious problem with my house.
Currently I rent it but cannot afford to pay the rent for the next two months because of my income stock.
After that I have enough.
What can I do?
Answer five.
You should contact the landlord right away and explain the situation.
Maybe you can offer some compensation for the loss of interest.
Be clear and communicate.
Not paying anything makes you unreliable and that can cost you the edit.
Be clear.
Be open.
Thank you for listening to my broadcast and please listen to the others.
If you have any questions just contact me by mail or otherwise.
My name is Arnold van der Veeren from the Netherlands.
Be welcome and listen again.
