Selfgentleness In Action (10/10/25) S10: Body Image

Femke discusses in the 10th session of her Selfgentleness in Action Lives how you use Selfgentleness to create and maintain a better relationship with your body. As always, Femke ends with a guided practice to let you explore for yourself how you can help yourself to be selfgentle with your body.

Join Femke's Lives every second Friday of the Month in person, and ask your questions! Sign up for her Insight Timer Lives via Femke's profile. This time, the topic was a request of a regular participant. This is the recording took place on 10 October 2025.

Transcript

Hello lovelies!

Welcome to my monthly Self-Gentleness Live.

Self-Gentleness in action.

That's the series that I'm doing in 2025.

And what does that mean?

Well,

We focus on specific areas of your life where you can apply Self-Gentleness.

And if you are here for the very first time,

My name is Femke Bakker.

I'm a Self-Gentleness teacher and meditation teacher here on Insight Timer.

And what is Self-Gentleness,

You might ask?

Well,

Self-Gentleness is a concept that I have coined.

And this is my definition.

Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness.

Shall I repeat that once?

Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness.

Yes,

This is what I teach.

And honestly,

The longer I teach it,

The more I realize that it is more a perspective.

So the work that you do with me on Self-Gentleness is slowly,

Incrementally shifting your perspective that you have of yourself.

So I often call it the key to self-love.

The word self-love has many connotations and it very often feels like a very hard task to do,

Right?

Self-love.

What is it?

How do I get there?

Well,

Self-Gentleness is the key to that.

And the longer you work with me on all the practices that I create about Self-Gentleness,

Then slowly,

Slowly you are shifting that perspective that whatever comes up,

You will be more gentle with yourself.

And it doesn't mean that you're gentle 24-7.

No.

The art of Self-Gentleness is to recognize when you're not and then knowing how to find your way back.

So the topic of today is body image.

It might be that you are here especially for that.

Well,

Let me tell you,

I'm also here especially for that.

Because honestly,

I always say I'm a master of Self-Gentleness and I am.

Not that I am all the time,

But you know,

I recognize when I'm not.

But the area in my life where I find it hardest to be Self-Gentle with myself is about body image.

And I feel a bit vulnerable by telling you that.

But I also want to share it with you.

Because I want to show you that you don't have to be perfect to become Self-Gentle.

It is all part of that process.

Or better said,

It's a lifelong process in progress.

And that's fine.

That is okay.

So for me,

Body image,

The image that I have with my body,

Or maybe even more precisely the relationship that I have with my body,

Is sometimes hard.

I'm getting better at it.

I'm now 53 years old.

So by now you would expect that I would know how to love my body,

How to be gentle with my body.

And yes,

When I compare it to five years ago,

10 years ago,

20,

25,

30,

40 years ago,

Well maybe not 40,

35 years ago,

I'm way better at being Self-Gentle.

But it can still be a challenge.

And that is why I want to address this topic today with you.

But before I continue,

I'm going to take a look at the comments and to see who is here.

So if you want to introduce yourself,

Tell me who you are,

Where you are in the world,

And also why you are here for this topic,

I will be happy to read and to see you.

So let's see everyone is here.

Arlene,

Maor,

Luanne,

Nancy,

Angela,

Peter,

Mary,

Cherry,

Cara,

Peace.

Everyone is here.

Okay,

Lovely to see you all.

Many familiar names.

A lot of the people that I know that are often in my life,

Or that I know from previous workshops that I did here on Insight Timer.

I'm so happy you're here.

Luanne,

You tell me that I am frozen for you.

Is there anyone else that sees me frozen?

I'm afraid I cannot really do something about it.

I know that my internet connection is really great.

So I hope that you can fix it Luanne.

Maybe get out of the app and come back for a moment.

That sometimes fixes it.

Hi Jennifer.

Hi Blissful Light.

Hi Yvonne.

Hi Nancy.

All right,

So I see that others don't have those problems.

All right,

Let's start.

So body image,

Like I just said,

It's a topic that needs my attention,

Which needs my awareness and my conscious attention.

So let me tell you a little bit about my own story in that.

So when I grew up as a kid,

I was extremely skinny and extremely tall for my age.

In my class,

I was always one head taller than everyone and pretty skinny.

And I loved that as a kid.

And I sometimes think that because I grew up feeling like that,

Having,

You know,

My father always used to say that I had the legs of a baby horse,

For instance,

Just to mention something.

But when then when puberty came,

My body changed.

And that was something what I think a lot of teenage girls,

And maybe also teenage boys,

Feel that their body suddenly changes.

And I found it hard.

So while I became more curvy,

I felt like I was becoming fat.

And that was something that really stayed with me for a long time.

So you have to know as a teenager,

I was a teenager in the 80s.

And in the 80s,

Curvy was not,

You know,

Fashionable like it is now.

No,

It was really fashionable to be,

You know,

Extremely skinny,

Like Kate Moss kind of skinny.

And unfortunately,

I was very,

I was very open to seeing those images around me and wondering why I could not be like that.

And I thought it was my fault that I didn't eat the right things or that I didn't do enough in sports or that I should exercise or go to the gym and all those kind of things.

And it was even harder because when I bought clothes,

Then they never fitted.

Well,

They could fit on my hips,

But then they were way too wide for my waist,

For instance.

So I solved that by learning how to make my own clothes,

Which I then did so they could really fit me.

That was one solution.

But what I do remember of my teenage year that I was always dissatisfied with how I looked,

I felt that I was fat and I felt that I was not according to the beauty ideal that I saw around me in magazines or on television or in movies.

So then I became an actress.

I went to theater school and then I started to work in theater,

But also for television.

And there actually it was reinforced because as an actor,

You always hear,

Well,

You have to make sure you're skinny because the camera puts on an extra five to ten pounds,

Which is not completely true.

But you look a little bit fuller.

You might have seen it yourself when you see yourself on a video or you might have perceived that.

Because I think by now it's it's not so bad.

So then you work with producers who tell you,

Well,

You know,

Lose a few kilos,

Which reinforced my idea that I was too full.

And honestly,

When I look back now on photos or footage or the work that I did as an actor and I look back at how I looked,

I think,

Oh,

I was so beautiful and I wasn't fat.

I was beautiful.

I was really,

Really beautiful.

And I so regret for myself at that age that I was feeling that way about my body.

So and of course,

That is something that is all in your head.

I would never show this to people,

Of course.

It was something that was going on within me.

And this actually I took with me.

So I remember in my 20s that I also felt not satisfied with my body when I look back now at my photos or even when I was 30 and I look back at photos in my 20s.

I thought,

What was I thinking?

I wasn't fat.

I looked perfectly fine.

So I don't know if you recognize this,

But this is something that I try to realize whenever I am right now dissatisfied with my body.

Then I think,

Well,

In five years,

I will look at the footage of this life or look at the photos that are taken of me and I will think,

Oh,

You're so pretty.

It's beautiful.

It's OK.

You're perfect as you are.

So why,

If I realize that,

Why is it then sometimes so hard to have this in the moment now?

Well,

And that is what we are speaking about.

And of course,

I am now speaking about the looks of your body.

But in essence,

I'm speaking about the expectations that we hold about our body.

So if you have an illness or a chronic illness or maybe even worse,

That you're really,

Really seriously ill,

Then you also expect something else from your body.

You also have an image of your body that you feel that is out of reach.

So we cover all this in this talk,

But especially in the meditation that we're going to do.

Um,

I noticed while I'm telling you all this,

You know,

I always speak easy when I have my talk,

But I,

I,

I,

I just want to share with you and that's my self-dental way that I do feel vulnerable about this.

I'm really telling you things that I don't quickly speak so,

So quickly about with,

Um,

With people that are not in my intimate circles.

So here you are,

There it is.

Um,

So it's about expectations that we hold,

Um,

About our bodies.

And I think that is what I was aiming at when I said,

Um,

That I have to stay conscious and aware of whatever thoughts that I'm having in my body.

And that is something that I would like to examine together with you.

So at a certain point,

I noticed that I could have a quite a harsh judgment about when I saw other women,

About how they looked.

It's already years ago,

But I realized when I became aware of the thoughts that I was having,

That I had some kind of a judgment.

And I realized when I became aware of that,

That that judgment was not so much about them,

But it was actually about me.

It was about me comparing myself to them and whatever I didn't like in myself,

I would not like in them.

But so actually that was a way to be really critical about myself because I had,

And sometimes still have,

Really critical thoughts about my body.

So I started by first changing that.

The moment I became aware that I had that kind of thoughts about,

It could be someone on television,

It could be someone in the park,

It didn't matter so much,

That I consciously started to change those thoughts.

So for instance,

I saw someone who had a belly and I would think,

Oh,

They have a belly.

And then I would say,

Oh,

They have the belly.

She has the belly of a goddess.

Oh yes,

She has the belly of a goddess.

And then next I would say,

I have the belly of a goddess.

And even when I say it now,

I don't know if you can feel it,

You know,

Just put your hands on your own belly.

It doesn't matter how your belly feels or looks,

Just say,

I have the belly of a goddess.

And if you're a man,

You can also say goddess,

But if you feel uncomfortable,

You can say,

I have the belly of a god.

But goddess is also really,

Really delicious to feel.

I have the belly of a goddess.

When I say it,

It feels so good.

So this was my very first step into becoming aware that the way of thinking,

How I was judging bodies in general,

Was in my way to start looking at my own body with love,

Or at least with gentleness.

If love is impossible,

Then at least with gentleness.

Because I also realized that I'm thankful for my body because,

You know,

I'm sitting here,

I'm speaking to you.

My body makes sure that I get enough air so I can speak,

That I can breathe,

That it comes oxygen in my body.

And then my heart takes over.

My heart pumps all the oxygen.

It brings it to all the cells so that they are replenished,

That they get all the nutrition that my stomach gets out of my food.

I have opposable thumbs,

Which I'm so happy about because without those opposable thumbs,

I couldn't hold this pen.

I couldn't hold myself.

I couldn't hold myself in the bus when otherwise I would fall.

I would not be able to pick up food to put in my mouth or hold a fork and a knife.

With these hands,

I touch and caress the people that I love.

With these hands,

I can touch and caress and hold myself.

It's amazing what my hands can do.

So by focusing on the gratitude I feel for my hands,

Makes me feel already really,

Really different about my body.

Let's think about your feet.

Do you realize what your feet are doing for you every day?

The moment that you get up,

That you walk on them,

That your feet make sure that you keep the balance,

That you can walk,

That you can run,

That you can climb stairs.

It's amazing how much your feet can carry and what they can do.

So just bring your attention to your feet for a moment and just say I have the feet of a goddess.

I have the feet of a goddess.

My feet are becoming warm right now.

I don't know if you bring your attention to your feet,

If you feel the same warmth in your feet right now.

My feet are sending me love.

That is what I realize right now.

So actually you could do this with any part of your body.

And the easiest way is to start with those parts that you feel already satisfied with or happy with.

If you love your eyes then look in the mirror in your own eyes and say I have the eyes of a goddess.

My eyes are so beautiful.

If you love the way your shoulders are shaped then tell your shoulders I have the shoulders of a goddess.

They feel so good.

My shoulders carry the world.

My shoulders are carrying me.

And I will tell you speaking about body image.

I have a frozen shoulder,

My right shoulder.

It happened in June and truly in my perfect body image I have a shoulder that is functioning perfectly that I can lift up my right arm just like I can lift up my left arm but I cannot right now.

And that is something that is bugging me.

And so I went to a physiotherapist and he started to help me but then the frozen shoulder became worse and I really need to keep everything easy and soft and gentle and just wait because he told me that nature will take care of my shoulder.

I just you know try to to keep it moving but never out of where it can go or not.

So I'm sending now a lot of love to this shoulder and I'm telling the shoulder I love you.

You are doing so much for me.

You're carrying my right arm and you are suffering a lot from all my mouse clicks and typing on the computer.

And I love you because you are supporting me and you are carrying my right arm and this beautiful hand with a possible thumb that I can love and caress the people around me that I love so much and put food in my mouth.

So my shoulder is thanking me.

My shoulder is telling me thank you.

I love you too.

And I know that having these thoughts,

Changing your thoughts,

Will not cure all illnesses.

Some illnesses are harder.

Some illnesses are maybe not to be cured in that way.

However,

What I am telling you is that the way you are thinking of your body,

How it looks,

How it feels,

How it functions,

How it doesn't function,

And the way you send it the love,

You do help yourself to have a different relationship with it.

And maybe also to listen to it,

To what it needs,

What it actually needs in the moment.

How many times were you walking and feeling far away that your feet are hurting but you continue to walk,

You continue to push through?

How many times are you sitting behind a desk or a computer or you're doing something else and you feel your shoulders hurting,

You feel your arm hurting and you push on through or you're back?

So our body is pretty good in functioning for us,

Doing everything for us.

It very subtly tells us when something is off and where we should pay attention to it.

And even when we push through,

Our body is still supporting us.

I think we are living in amazing vehicles.

So the expectations that we have of our bodies are something to become aware of.

So I told you about myself.

I had these expectations that were very much conditioned by external things around me,

The way I perceived the world,

The way I perceived the beauty image when I was younger.

This is something that has become less and less important,

Although sometimes it can flare up.

But those expectations have shaped my body image for a long time.

If you were an excellent athlete in your childhood or maybe in your teenage years and now you cannot do those things like you once did,

You might still have expectations that your body should be able to do something that you cannot.

Or if you have an illness and you cannot do everything anymore,

You might have expectations about your body that your body cannot fulfill right now or maybe never anymore.

That's also a possibility.

So I'm asking you just to take a moment for yourself and to ask yourself,

What do I expect of my body that I find my body doesn't deliver for me?

So what do you expect of your body that you find that your body doesn't give it to you,

It doesn't deliver?

If it feels safe enough,

You can share it with us in the comments.

You can also just write it down for yourself because we are going to work with this in the meditation that will follow.

And don't overthink it,

Right?

The first thing that pops up in your mind is in general the thing that you are ready to work with.

Alright,

So another question,

And you will experience this in the meditation in a bit,

I promise.

Another question is,

What would happen if you would love your body despite the fact that it doesn't deliver?

Can you imagine that?

It might be that you cannot imagine that,

That you find that question so far off that you cannot reach the answer,

What would happen if you would love your body despite that it doesn't deliver?

And that's okay.

If you cannot have the answer,

That's okay.

But if you can,

Then let that come to you for a moment because we will use that in the meditation in a bit.

Last question,

If there is a place in your body that you are dissatisfied with,

It could be the body part or something else,

And you think of that,

And you imagine that that body part is actually giving you a message.

So for instance,

You have a pain in your hip,

Right?

And it's bothering you,

You're considering going to the GP to get a shot maybe,

Or check it out,

Because your hip doesn't function like you,

It doesn't deliver.

So,

What would happen if you would just tune in to that body part and listen what it's telling you?

And then it might be not words that it's telling you,

It might be an emotion,

It might be something else.

So,

My shoulder,

I'm a person,

You know me,

You've heard my stories about my childhood,

My upbringing,

My caregiving,

Why self-gentleness became self-gentleness,

Because it's part of my expertise and knowledge,

But it's also part of a lived experience,

Or basically my lived experience helped me to develop self-gentleness.

And if you want to hear more,

I recorded my TEDx talk for InsideTimer,

And you can find it in my list of free tracks,

And there I tell a little bit more about my childhood.

But so,

My shoulder is telling me that sometimes I take a little bit too much on my shoulder,

And that it needs rest,

That it needs ease.

And even me going to a physiotherapist to fix it sooner than it can be fixed by itself.

It protested.

The first time there,

It gave me more room.

After the second time,

It started to freeze back to where it was,

Even more.

And now my shoulder just needs a lot of love and understanding,

And especially the message that sometimes I load too much on my shoulders.

That's a message.

And understanding that,

And loading less on my shoulders might not fix my frozen shoulder right now.

However,

The message of my shoulder is really important for me being more self-gentle with myself,

And also with my body.

Because in the end,

Our bodies,

Our heart,

Emotions,

Our soul,

Our being,

Our inner being,

Everything is connected,

Is basically one.

It's relating to each other.

It's telling us things.

So,

Let me see.

Did I say everything that I wanted to say?

Yeah.

Let me take a moment to see what comments there are,

And if there are any questions maybe.

Yeah,

You're most welcome to sharing.

Thank you.

Resistance makes it worse.

Acceptance heals,

Says Hannah.

Absolutely,

You're so right.

Yes.

Hi,

Petta Brooke.

Lovely to see you also.

Yes.

Blissful Light says,

I woke up two days ago with a terrible pain,

And without being able to move my arm,

I expect full healing.

Yes.

Very well.

Really good.

Yes.

All right.

Oh,

Petta,

This is timely for you.

I'm so happy.

Thank you so much for that.

So,

If there are no questions at this point,

You can always put them in,

And I will take a look after the meditation.

Let's just meditate again.

Okay.

Blissful Light says,

Can I please repeat the questions?

Well,

So,

The first question is,

What do you expect from your body that it doesn't deliver on?

So,

Basically,

There might be a body part or maybe a whole body or something that you have high expectations and it doesn't deliver.

So,

You know what your expectations are.

This is something that you can explore,

And we'll explore it in the meditation.

And then,

The second part was,

What would happen if you would just unconditionally love your body as it is?

What would happen then?

And the third question was,

If you have a specific part of your body that is hurting or that you feel bad about or that is ill,

Then what would happen if you would listen to the message like I just told you about my shoulder?

All right.

We will start to work on it.

So,

Kara says,

Bursitis and knee arthritis,

Both on the right side,

Are telling me to follow my own path and not continuing to put ours first.

Yeah,

Kara,

That's beautiful.

That has to do also with what I said that our bodies are so willing to do everything for us,

Even when it's hurting.

When we push through,

It doesn't just drop down and says,

Well,

Forget about it.

I'm stopping.

I'm resisting.

I'm not doing anything anymore for you.

Our bodies don't say that.

They just carry on.

And when we carry on too long,

Then that pain will tell us something.

So,

I'm really happy that you realize,

Like my story with my shoulder,

You are also realizing that you want to walk your path and not just the path that others are expecting from you.

All right.

Let's meditate.

Take a quick sip of my tea.

Why?

Because my mouth is telling me that it just wanted to have some warm tea.

All right.

So,

If you can lie down,

Lie down.

And if you cannot lie down or you don't want to lie down,

Then just lean against wherever you're sitting.

Really make it easy.

I put today my yoga sweater and really comfy pants because I knew I wanted to feel as comfy as possible.

So,

How does it feel when you allow yourself to just really,

Really relax and even let your head relax?

Put your feet on the ground and really let your arms rest in your lap.

Or if you have something else to rest it on,

Feel the weight of your arms resting.

I always notice when I consciously rest my body that it relaxes.

It immediately responds to my allowance of that relaxance.

So,

Gently close your eyes.

And let's first tune in to our senses to get even more into our bodies in the here and now.

So,

Bring your attention to whatever you are hearing.

You hear my voice,

Of course.

So,

That is clear.

But I will shut up for a moment.

So,

You can listen to the sounds in your environment.

Just the most prominent sounds.

Yeah.

And now,

Try to listen for the sounds that are really,

Really far away.

You can hear them there in the distance,

But see if you can find the sound that is the furthest away.

Nice.

Now,

Bring your attention to the most subtle sound in your environment.

Maybe you hear your belly making a noise.

Well done.

Now,

Bring your attention to your eyes.

You have your eyes closed.

So,

Try to see with your eyes closed.

You might just see dark,

Dark blue or black.

Or maybe you see some light through your eyelids.

Some people see with eyes closed.

They see patterns of colors or dots.

And whatever it is,

You don't have to change it.

Just observe whatever you are seeing with your eyes closed.

Well done.

Now,

Bring your attention to whatever you are tasting.

You always have some kind of taste in your mouth.

Something you just ate or drank.

Or maybe it's the taste of a dry mouth.

What do you taste?

Now,

Bring your attention to your sense of smell.

What are you smelling?

First probe for the,

You know,

The prominent aromas around you.

Maybe you have flowers in your room.

Maybe you smell your own perfume or aftershave.

Or the smell of the detergent that you washed your clothes with.

Can you also smell more subtle smells?

Something you cooked in the morning.

Or the quality of the air.

Well done.

Now,

Bring your attention to your sense of touch.

So,

You feel your buttocks on the seat.

If you're lying,

You feel your back against the mattress.

Or the mat.

Or when you're sitting up against the sofa or your chair,

You feel your back against that.

So,

Can you feel somewhere more subtle?

So,

How your sweater or shirt or dress is sitting on your skin.

Your socks around your ankles.

If you have a beard,

Maybe you feel the hairs of your beard on your cheeks.

Or if you have longer hair,

The hair in the back of your neck.

Can you feel the air on your skin?

Now,

I want to take you on a little visualization journey.

And with this visualization journey,

I'm going to use the language of image.

But it doesn't mean that you have to see images if this is not the way that you fantasize.

So,

You know how you fantasize.

Some people use images,

Other people just know or feel it or see words.

But whatever way you fantasize,

That is the way that you will process my language of images.

All right.

Now,

I want you to imagine that you are in a place that you just love so much.

Maybe it's your garden.

Maybe it's on top of a mountain.

Maybe it's your favorite holiday destination.

Maybe it's your own comfortable bed.

Whatever the place is,

Just imagine this place around you.

Imagine that you are actually there.

So,

Get a feel for it or see it in whatever way you fantasize.

So,

This place,

I want you to find a place where you can,

In your fantasy,

Sit or lie down really comfortably.

So,

If it is the middle of a meadow,

Then the grass is so soft that you can sit or lay on it.

If it is your own bedroom,

Then use your bed.

And if you are somewhere else where you think,

I don't have a comfy place,

Then just fantasize that there is a really comfortable chair that you can sit in so nicely.

Yeah?

All right.

Now,

Really take a moment to fantasize that you are sitting here comfortably.

That the awareness of your body that we just established,

You brought with you.

And you feel that your body is already a little bit more relaxed than it was before.

And it feels good.

It feels really,

Really good to be so relaxed.

So,

While you're sitting here,

I want you to bring your attention now to the heart space,

Your chest,

The middle of your chest.

If it helps,

You can put your hands there.

Just bring your attention to your heart space.

And if it helps,

You can imagine that there is a little light there that shines really lovely and bright with the most beautiful color,

Your favorite color.

I want you to now imagine that you see yourself on a little screen in front of you.

It can be like a TV screen,

Or if you like it big,

You make it a movie theater screen.

But you see yourself there.

And I want you to look at yourself as you are right now.

And I want you to pick that part,

That element,

That functioning of your body that you have high expectations of,

And that you would want it to deliver,

But it doesn't.

Remember the question that we just had?

So,

In my case,

I'm looking at my shoulder.

What is it for you?

I really use the fantasy in the way that you like it,

Right?

So now you focus on that body part,

Or that body functioning,

And really,

Really see it.

And become aware of your dissatisfaction.

Become aware of your high expectations that are not fulfilled.

And I do not know how that feels for you,

But I know that I feel some resistance now.

I feel some friction now.

I feel even some angriness for a moment,

And that is okay.

It is okay.

It is okay to feel whatever you're feeling.

If it's overwhelming you,

Then just open your eyes and just take a look at me,

Or stop the meditation,

But just let it be for a moment.

It is okay.

It is okay to feel this.

Let's just tell that part,

Or that element,

Or that function of your body what you want it to be,

Which it isn't.

So,

In my case,

I'm telling my shoulder,

I want you to function as before,

Without giving me any pain.

That is what I want.

So,

You can say it out loud,

Or you can say it mentally.

Just tell your body what it is that you would like it to be,

To function.

All right.

Now,

Take a moment,

Go back to your heart space,

That little light in the middle of your chest.

Just keep your attention there.

It might be that you still feel some unpleasant emotions.

That's okay.

Just be with it for a moment.

It's okay.

It's all part of the process.

And if your emotion is strong,

You can even tell that body part.

So,

I would tell my shoulder,

Listen,

It's really frustrating me.

It's really frustrating me that you do not live up to my expectations.

I really would love you to just fix yourself and make it over.

I'm frustrated.

I'm a little bit angry at you even.

Yeah.

So,

Whatever it is that you want to tell that body part,

Just tell it out loud,

Mentally.

It's okay.

You're doing it really,

Really well.

Now,

Solely focus on this part or this functioning of your body and let it grow bigger,

Bigger on the screen while you watch it.

And I want you to ask it now.

What do you want to tell me?

I know that you are hurting for a really long time.

What do you want to tell me?

Can you give me a reason?

Can you tell me why?

What do you want to tell me that I didn't hear before?

And listen to the answer.

Can you hear that answer?

It might be that it's not words.

It might be that it's an image or a song or it's okay.

It will come at the later moment.

But if you do understand,

Can you ask then this body part or body functioning,

Is there anything I can do for you right now?

And then listen to the answer.

Is there anything I can do for you right now?

And I don't know about you,

But hearing this answer,

My shoulder is telling me that it wants ease.

It wants my gentleness.

It wants me to love it anyway,

Because it has done already so much for me.

And it touches me.

It moves me.

It relaxes me,

Actually,

To be honest.

I don't know how it is for you.

But whatever you feel,

I hope there's a sense of relief,

Because now you know there is something that you can do.

Maybe not to fix it,

But to relate to it.

Maybe not to heal it,

But to feel a little bit better about the fact that this is how it is.

Excuse me.

Now,

I want you to bring your attention to your heart space again.

And I know,

If it's hard for you,

That's okay.

That's okay.

If it's too much,

Then just stop.

Open your eyes.

See me sitting here,

Silly,

With my hands on my chest.

That's okay.

You're doing it so well.

All right.

Now,

Bring your attention to your heart space.

Really put your hands there.

Feel that warm,

Beautiful light that is there.

Now,

Imagine that from your heart,

This beautiful light,

It shines out like a big,

Fat laser beam.

And you know where it's shining on.

It's shining on that part or that functioning of your body right now.

And you send it all your love.

Just imagine that light from your heart pouring,

Beaming,

Towards that body part.

And that body part or that body functioning really lights up.

It relaxes.

It receives your love.

And if you find it hard to imagine that you have enough love within you to send,

Then just put your feet on the ground.

Feel your feet on Mother Earth and let the energy of Mother Earth flow through your feet,

Into your knees,

Into your hips,

Into your belly,

Into your heart.

And from your heart,

You send that love from Mother Earth to that body part.

And if that is still not enough,

Then just imagine the sun is above you,

Shining on the crown of your head.

And through the crown of your head,

All the beautiful sunlight trickles down through your head,

Into your neck,

In your throat,

In your heart.

And also,

This now goes through the laser beam to that body part of you.

So now it's not just you.

It's also you.

It's also Mother Earth.

And it's also our sun.

It's also everything that is.

And all the people right now that are in this meditation are sharing this moment where we connect and just send love to that part of your body that just deserves some extra love from you.

And see how it receives,

How it softens,

How it relaxes,

How it starts to feel better.

And notice how good it feels for you to send yourself this.

All right.

Now you can let go of the laser beam.

You put your hands on your heart and just tune in with yourself for a moment.

And just check if you feel anything different towards that part of your body.

It might be the same.

That's okay.

You will just need to repeat this meditation a few times before you start to feel it.

But if you feel something,

Can you realize then that there is a little bit relief,

A little bit more gentleness,

A little bit more love?

And try to remember how this feels so next time when you catch yourself having such a critical thought about that part or about your body,

About the functioning of your body,

Remember them.

It's telling you something.

And it just needs you to put it in the spotlight and to just love it unconditionally.

So ask yourself,

Really ask yourself for a moment,

How do I feel right now?

And listen to the answer.

And then ask yourself,

What do I need right now?

And listen to the answer.

And whatever comes up,

Give it to yourself.

Maybe you want to caress your own cheek,

Put your arms around yourself,

Rock yourself.

Maybe you want to go to sleep.

Maybe you just want to sit in peace.

Maybe you feel like calling your best friend.

It's all okay,

Whatever it is.

It's okay.

You're doing such important work right now.

All right,

Before we close off,

I want you to bring your attention for a moment to your feet.

Feel your feet,

Feel how they're standing on the ground,

Feel how they connect with the ground.

Not every touch point has the same pressure on the ground.

It's just connecting.

Feel that connection with the ground,

With the floor.

Can you sense how much support is there from the ground,

From Mother Earth,

And from your feet?

Your feet making that connection.

Now bring your attention for a moment to your bum,

The bum of a goddess.

Feel how it is seated or lying down,

Supporting you with these lovely soft cushions so that your bones of your pelvis will not hurt when you're sitting.

Everything has a beautiful function.

Now bring your attention for a moment to your belly,

Where all these beautiful organs in your body are functioning,

Digesting your food,

Making sure that all the nutritions will get into your body and that everything that you do not need will be taken away.

So beautiful how it functions.

And mind you,

You don't have to control it,

You don't have to manage it,

It just works,

Right?

That's really,

Really beautiful,

That it just works.

You don't have to think,

Oh now I have to do this,

And now,

Oh now I have to put some extra acid,

Oh now I have to pull out the nutritions.

You don't have to do that,

Your body does it.

Wow,

What an amazing vehicle!

To your heart again,

But now the heart that beats for you.

Non-stop,

Beautiful,

Just beating,

Making sure that the blood will bring all the good stuff to the cells,

And that it will clean out and bring back everything that is not good anymore.

How beautiful this heart is,

And besides this functioning,

This is the place where we have our love,

Where we have our intuition,

Where we can feel things even before they happen.

Our hearts are amazing,

I'm so grateful for my heart.

Now again,

Sorry,

The hands,

The opposable thumbs,

I love just thinking about my hands,

It makes me feel so grateful that I have my hands,

That I can grab things,

That I can hold things,

That I can lift things,

That I can eat,

That I can love and caress myself and others.

Oh,

They're so beautiful,

My hands,

I so love my hands.

I hope you feel the same about yours.

And now I want you to pick any body parts or body function that you know you just love,

And you just express your gratitude by yourself to this part.

Go ahead.

Now,

Take a moment to feel how this feeling of gratitude feels in your body.

It is pretty easy to cultivate gratitude.

You know,

Probably you know this,

Gratitude practices,

I've given all the many lives about this.

We know from a lot of research that when we start to focus on gratitude,

We really start to feel better,

At least our perception of well-being significantly increases.

So when you connect that knowledge with gratitude for your body,

And even when there is just one little part of your body that you like,

If you send all your gratitude there,

And you start building from there,

You really start to build a sustainable self-gentleness towards your body,

Which over time,

Step by step,

Incrementally can grow into more body love.

Let's really be back into our body.

You can wiggle your fingers and toes a little bit and stretch your spine.

And then you just take your time to open your eyes.

Don't open them too quickly,

Because you've been with closed eyes in the meditation for quite some time.

So really,

Really take your time.

Thank you,

Cherry.

That's lovely.

Yes,

I have on Insight Timer,

Femke's Self-Gentleness Group.

If you're not yet a member,

Then,

You know,

Sign up.

They're sometimes a bit quiet,

But there are always people sharing information,

Or not information,

Sharing meditations.

When I have a new track,

I also communicate it there.

I always give you a heads up when there will be a new live.

But,

You know,

Self-Gentleness Lives every second Friday of the month.

Oh,

I would almost forget,

If you're not following me yet,

Then please,

Here is my profile.

P says,

I've been feeling tension in the right side of my neck.

Felt a bit of anger and clenching in my jaw.

When I move my neck now,

I can feel more movement and a better range of motion.

Real-time healing.

Thank you for sharing that,

P.

I'm so happy that you did that.

You did that yourself.

You know that.

You followed my meditation.

I told you something,

But you did it yourself.

You have that power.

That's so important to me.

In the whole,

Everything that I teach about Self-Gentleness,

I want everyone to know that you can become Self-Gentle.

I might be a guide for some time,

Or maybe for a long time,

To tell you about things,

To show you what you can do,

But you did this yourself.

So happy to read that.

Thank you for sharing.

Hannah says,

I've spent a lifelong,

Lifetime avoiding feeling my body.

Past several years.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

Oh,

Where is it now?

Past several years,

The healing has begun.

I'm so happy,

Hannah.

Hannah,

I recognize that.

Also,

My default meditation technique is one where I'm not in my body.

I'm just transcending.

I really love that feeling.

Lately,

I've been working really on being in my body with practicing yoga,

With touching,

Things like that.

It's really,

Really helpful.

I'm glad that you realize that.

I saw your question if I'm Dutch.

Yes,

I'm Dutch.

You heard well.

All right.

Let's see.

You're most welcome,

Luanne.

I'm happy that you were also here.

Thank you,

And I will see you on Tuesday.

Yes,

Petta Brook.

Of course,

This is recorded,

And I will publish it on Insight Timer,

And I will let you know in the meditation of the Self-Gentleness Group when it's published.

So last week,

The recording of August was published,

So it is there.

And then I think today or next week will be the I Am Love meditation.

It was the extra session that I held on the 24th of September.

And then after that,

Then the one of September will come,

And after that also the one of October.

You're most welcome.

Peace.

Wait,

The comments are always shifting.

Thank you for so much for showing me how to heal myself.

Thank you.

You're one of my favorite mentors,

A huge part of my healing journey.

Thank you,

Peace.

That means a lot to me.

Thank you so much.

That's really,

Really kind of you to say.

Thank you.

You're most welcome,

Nancy.

Yes.

Thank you,

Jessica,

For your donation.

Thank you so much.

That's really,

Really welcome.

All right.

So I just want to promote one last thing,

And that is my course on Insight Timer.

It's called Start Being Self-Gentle Today.

This is a really short course.

It's four days of classes,

And then there are more three tracks that you can use every day.

Those are the basic self-gentleness tools that you can use from each two minutes.

So that would be like six minutes a day to become self-gentle,

Which you can follow up on those four days where I explain everything.

It's a mini course.

It's easy to do.

It's a great start.

You will need a premium account for Insight Timer,

And if you don't have it yet and you have the means,

I would really recommend you to take that because you not only get access to all my courses and other perks like downloading tracks,

You also get access to all the premium tracks,

Not just from me,

But from all.

.

.

How many teachers we have from Insight Timer now?

25,

000,

I think.

So yes,

It's always worthwhile to do that.

Thank you all so much for joining.

I will be back on the 14th of November,

And that will be the holiday season special.

The holidays are approaching.

I know in America,

You have Thanksgiving,

And then of course in December,

There will be Christmas,

And there are many other holidays also.

We're going to have Hanukkah also,

And holidays can be so much fun and so much so pleasant,

But it can also be a source for stress if you have to do things or the expectations are high from yourself or from your family.

So self-gentleness is a really,

Really good thing to do there,

And so we'll speak about that on the 14th of November,

The second Friday of the month.

My loves,

Love your body.

Be gentle with it.

Appreciate your hands,

Your shoulders,

Everything,

And don't forget you have the body of a goddess,

Whether you're a man or a woman,

You have.

Never forget that.

Sending you so much love.

Have a beautiful weekend.

Bye-bye.