Vicarious Trauma Release For Helpers, Healers And Activists

This is a talk about vicarious trauma (sometimes also called secondary trauma or compassion fatigue), a common feature of care and activist work. I use the sponge metaphor to look at ways to be less "porous" and to "wring out" after absorbing others' trauma. The talk includes visualization exercises (energy loop, energy zip up, light bubble, return to sender package, dusting off) and an opportunity to pause the recording to try out a cognitive technique I call "The Sticky Feelings Technique" to identify and release vicarious trauma. I also talk about why being in nature helps us.

Transcript

Hi,

My name is Farzana Docter and this is a talk on understanding the links between vicarious trauma and burnout.

I wish I had learned more about burnout and vicarious trauma when I first engaged in activism and social work practice.

It took time for me to understand the impacts of sitting in the pain and oppression of individuals and communities.

So I'd like to share some learning with you.

First a couple of quick definitions.

Burnout is a state of emotional,

Mental,

And spiritual exhaustion or collapse caused by stress.

It can also be physical.

It can leave us feeling unable to function as we normally would.

It's important to note that many of the causes of burnout are systemic.

And if you'd like to learn more about that,

Check out my free track on understanding burnout.

Vicarious trauma is just a little different.

It's also known as secondary trauma or compassion fatigue.

It's the emotional residue we carry from exposure to other people's pain and trauma stories.

It can accumulate over time and skew the way we view the world.

And sometimes this is an appropriate kind of skewing because it opens our eyes.

But sometimes it's not so productive.

I don't know that we can prevent burnout or vicarious trauma.

Rather,

I think burnout and vicarious trauma are very likely inevitable experiences for those of us who do care and activist work.

And perhaps for anyone who is awake to the ways in which it's difficult to live in a small percentage of people are meant to thrive.

So instead of focusing on prevention,

I think we need to know how to acknowledge it and address it when it does happen so that we can reduce the impact it has on us.

Just a little story here.

When I was 19,

I worked at a shelter for women leaving intimate partner violence.

It was a low wage job with terrible hours within an emergency service.

I was a pretty good writer.

So one of the tasks I was assigned to during night shifts when the crisis line was quiet was writing victim impact letters to expedite housing applications.

This involved combing through a woman's intake documents and providing a detailed list of all of the forms of violence she'd endured.

I absorbed those trauma stories.

How could I not?

As I continued to work in the field,

I grew increasingly hypervigilant to violence as I walked through the world.

And I couldn't stop thinking about my clients,

Even when off shift.

This was vicarious trauma.

With each of my subsequent jobs,

I pushed back against the distress by changing employers,

Thinking that a change was as good as a rest.

But without the skills to manage vicarious trauma,

I wasn't finding true relief.

And then I burned out.

And while there were many other factors that contribute to the burnout,

Including worker rights issues,

Vicarious trauma was a biggie for me.

It would be many years before I learned how to identify and release vicarious trauma,

And later how to protect myself from it.

The same went for my activist work.

We don't often associate vicarious trauma with activist and community work.

But all care work can expose us to individual and collective trauma.

Besides that,

Social change can feel slow,

Yet the issues we're addressing are urgent and often overwhelming.

Psychologist Elaine Aron coined the term highly sensitive person,

Or HSP.

She posits that about 15-20% of the population are HSPs,

Who are more tuned into people's feelings as well as other stimuli,

Such as noise,

Smells,

And light.

They may be more empathetic and more bothered than other people by violence.

It's interesting to note that HSPs tend to gravitate towards the arts and helping professions.

To understand all of this,

I like to use a sponge metaphor.

I'm a bit of a sponge when I'm around people,

And being around people is a big part of being a psychotherapist and being an activist.

So what do I need to do?

Well,

A sponge is really porous.

I need to understand how to be a little less porous.

And then at the end of the day,

I need to understand how to wring out my sponge or release the vicarious trauma.

So let's talk first about how to be a little less porous.

These next few strategies that I'm going to describe involve visualization.

So take a moment right now to get comfortable in your seat and take a deep breath with a long exhalation.

Try that now.

And now let's use our imagination to visualize these techniques.

Not all of them will appeal to you,

But stay open and see how they work.

You might be surprised which ones end up speaking to you.

And as we go,

You may wish to pause this recording if you need more time with a particular technique.

One of my favorite and easy to use strategies is to visualize.

One of my favorite strategies is called the energy loop.

This strategy helps you to symbolically remember that you don't have to take on another's emotions.

I find it helps me to hold space with empathy more easily when I'm in conversation with someone.

So right now,

Imagine that you're speaking to someone.

And imagine a loop forming and flowing between you and that other person.

So that as they speak,

Their energy comes to you and then circulates back to them.

Their words come to you and the words go back to them.

I'm able to listen,

Hold space,

But not take in so much of the energy because the energy is going back to them.

I feel the emotions,

But I hold on to fewer of them.

Another strategy for being less porous is the energy zip up.

This is a popular energy psychology technique that uses a visualization of sealing your body's energy before you go out in the world or meet with people.

So here's how it works.

What you do is you imagine that you're zipping up a parka.

Start somewhere around your pelvic bone.

And move all the way up,

Moving your hand all the way up to your lower lip.

Try that right now.

Sit yourself up from your pelvic bone all the way up to your lower lip.

You might imagine locking the zipper.

People I know who like this technique do it multiple times in the day,

And it helps them to feel protected from other people's energy.

Another very popular strategy is called the light bubble,

Where you visualize a protective light filled bubble all around you that keeps your energy separate from another's.

This can be useful,

Especially for those of us who grew up not knowing where we end and another person begins.

For example,

If we were parentified children or grew up with other kinds of traumas.

So let's try this right now.

Visualize light all around you.

Some people like to imagine a white light or a golden light,

Or even a pink or purple light.

Take a moment right now to visualize this light bubble.

And make it as vivid as you can.

Notice where your light bubble ends in space.

How tall is it?

How wide is it?

Imagine another person sitting or standing near you and your light bubble keeping your energy separate from theirs.

Okay,

So those are just a few strategies for making the sponge less porous.

Let's move on to how we would wring out the sponge at the end of a day.

I like to do this with a little bit of humor and lightness.

One strategy I enjoy is imagining a return to sender package that contains any energy or emotions that I may have absorbed during the day.

And that don't belong to me.

The package can look like a parcel or a box or anything.

So imagine that right now.

Perhaps put an address label on it.

The address could be to a specific person or to an emotional recycling center.

Or just to the universe.

Or anywhere else where the energy or emotions can get metabolized.

Take a moment to imagine this package and its address label.

Now send the package away.

Perhaps you might notice it moving through space,

Disappearing into space.

Just send it off.

Another strategy that people like a lot is imagining cutting cords that may have become attached to them over the course of the day.

You might not even know where these cords are coming from.

But see if you can just imagine right now cords that are made out of light.

They might look like strings or perhaps like ropes that are attaching you to others.

Now you can visualize cutting the cords that don't belong to you.

Cutting any attachments that don't serve you.

And you can imagine doing this with a big pair of scissors.

Maybe a sword.

Remember to do this with a little bit of fun.

Another technique is to imagine dusting yourself off after a difficult interaction.

Or even if you've witnessed something difficult,

Even something via social media.

So you use your hands,

And try this right now,

To dust off your shoulders and arms and forearms and hands.

You might shake out your hands to see how that feels to you.

Finally,

If you have a particular spiritual practice,

You can ask for support.

You can ask for support and guidance from whichever spiritual forces help you out.

For example,

You can ask them just very directly to clear your energy for you.

You can also ask them to protect your energy.

If this appeals to you,

Try this right now.

Nature is another way I help myself wring out my sponge.

I try to spend as much time in nature as I possibly can,

Especially when I'm feeling depleted.

I go to a local park or walk by the lake.

One explanation for why this is calming is that the negative ions produced by moving water and in plants are believed to be a source of negative energy.

To improve our psychological well-being,

This has actually been studied.

One review of ionization studies from 2018 found that negative ions could regulate sleep and mood and reduce stress.

On a personal note,

I like to ask the lake to carry my thoughts,

Wishes,

And prayers for me.

And I have a favorite tree that I like to touch and lean into.

And I ask that tree to metabolize any pain I might have accumulated in my body.

If this appeals to you,

Go outside right after the end of this talk.

And if that's not available to you,

Check out my free guided meditation called Visit to the Lake.

To end off,

I'd like to share with you something I call the sticky feelings technique.

It's a more cognitive approach to wringing out the sponge.

It involves listing your interactions and the impact they've had on you.

You may want to pause the recording here and grab a notebook for this one.

Here's how it works.

You list all the memorable or important interactions that you've had in the last day or two.

I might write down just very simply the name of the person,

A couple of words to describe the interaction.

Don't get too fancy with this.

And then again,

One or two words to describe any sticky feelings that I might still be having about the interaction.

For example,

I have a client,

Sally,

So I'll write down Sally.

She was expressing suicidal ideation.

So the two words I could write beside her would be suicidal ideation.

And then the sticky feelings might be something like despair or sadness.

I then like to take a moment to just normalize my feelings,

To show some compassion for them.

And for me,

There's something about just acknowledging these feelings that helped me to let them go.

However,

If after doing this,

If the feelings are still sticky,

Then I might have to go to a couple of extra steps.

Firstly,

I might need to take a look at whether there's anything about the interaction that is more about me than Sally.

For example,

I might ask myself,

Did I do enough?

Did I fulfill my professional role or responsibilities?

I might ask myself,

Am I doing too much?

I might be ignoring Sally's capacities.

On a further note,

I might have to ask whether there is something about this interaction that has to do with my own life.

Does any of this content or this material remind me of something that I need to take a look at that is about me?

Or is it something that is actually more personal?

So I gave you an example that has to do with a client,

But you could use examples from your friend circle,

From your activist circle,

From things you saw on social media.

Try this right now.

I'll repeat the steps and you can pause the recording to give it a try.

So first of all,

You list all the names,

List a couple of words about the content,

And a couple of words about the sticky feelings.

First,

You normalize,

Acknowledge,

Have compassion for these feelings to let them go.

That works,

That's great.

And if they're not letting go,

They're still sticky,

Then you ask yourself,

Is there something about this that has more to do with me?

Did I do enough?

Am I doing too much?

Is there something about this that is more personal?

So pause the recording and give it a try if you'd like.

So in summary,

Vicarious trauma is a really common feature of care and activist work.

If you related to the sponge metaphor,

Consider creating daily routines that help you to make yourself a little less porous,

And then at the end of the day,

Find strategies to wring out your sponge.

I hope this has been helpful to you.