Lesson 7 How to include your loved ones in your minimalist journey This journey will have a deep impact in your own life and the life of all the people around you.
You can share with others what you are doing and invite them to join you.
Minimalism cannot be imposed on others.
This lesson is all about ways to help you share your journey with others and how to deal with the ones that won't join you.
When choosing to take this journey,
You may encounter people who join you and support you along the way and people who may not be interested at all.
It's important to understand your reasons for choosing this journey and to accept that some people may not support you.
If you have expectations and they are not met,
You may feel upset and resentful.
When you decide to take this journey,
You are deciding to make changes in your life.
Changes that are very important to you.
When you change,
It's normal to lose people around you,
People who may not understand why you are doing this,
People who may not be on the same page with you about this,
People who may be threatened by your new lifestyle and afraid to lose the old you.
What does that mean?
Let me share a real example with you.
Meet Jon.
Jon decided to quit smoking.
It was a big decision that he has procrastinated for a long time,
But now he feels it's the right time to do it.
He was very excited and committed to do it.
When Jon shared his intention with Mike,
One of his workmates and best friends,
About his decision of quitting smoking,
He seemed surprised and not very excited.
As days went on,
Jon's new habit of not smoking changed his lifestyle choices.
He no longer took smoking breaks at work,
He avoided spending time with people who were smoking to prevent temptation,
And he needed to create new habits to cover the time that he used to spend smoking.
Mike was upset that he lost his best friend.
He no longer got to spend time chatting with him while smoking,
And he felt that Jon was avoiding him.
As you see,
Jon's new decision created conflicts with Mike.
When you think about Jon's example,
Clear communication is key to figure out what the best way would be to move forward with Mike's friendship.
They really need to talk and find out how they can keep spending time together while supporting Jon's new non-smoking habit.
I want to share with you some steps that you can follow to improve your communication with others.
The first step is to share your feelings.
Make very clear how you feel and why,
And make sure that people understand you.
The second is you need to involve others.
Any time you are making a big decision and there are other people involved,
Make sure that you include them in the decision process,
That you include them in the new ways of doing things,
You ask for their opinion,
And then you listen.
The third step is listening.
Active listening is very,
Very important.
When you are listening,
Be respectful,
Don't judge,
And always be open to compromise.
It's always nice to find a compromise between the parties that are involved in the process so that everybody feels happy and committed to the changes.
If you can't find a solution by yourself using a mediator,
It's very helpful.
This could be a professional mediator or that could be a third party person that is not involved emotionally in the process.
That person can hear both parties and that person can give some advice and keep you accountable to the new changes.
In the example that I just shared,
If Mike is not willing to explore new ways of interacting with John,
If he chooses to be upset and angry with John all the time,
Most likely their friendship will eventually end because John's new habit is not respected.
If Mike is supportive and willing to stop smoking while being with John and he supports him and respects his decision,
Then new ways of interaction will be developed and their friendship will keep growing.
If John can't stand the smell of cigarettes,
For example,
While he's trying to keep his non-smoking habit,
Maybe being around Mike is not a good idea,
So he may choose to stop spending time with him and they will eventually grow apart from each other.
When creating big changes in your life,
It's important to be aware of the ripple effect that these changes may have in your lifestyle and in your relationships.
It's also very important to share these changes and ideas you may have with your loved ones from day one so that they can have time and space to understand and adjust to the new situation and hopefully to respect and support you in this new journey.
