Forgiving

How do you forgive when no one's apologized?! It's sure hard to forgive when the other person doesn't even acknowledge or know they've wronged you. But remember: forgiving others is really a gift to yourself of letting go. Let's try it together. (Photo by Ketut Subiyanto)

Transcript

Please begin in your place at this moment with whatever sensations and environment you have. Fidget, Adjust. Get to notice yourself in your body in the context of this meditation. You might be hot or cold. Your space might be a little noisy or simply quiet. Your brain might be rattling or still, Relatively still, Never perfectly still. You may feel a thousand feelings or perhaps you can't identify anyone. Your body might be stiff or soft, Hungry or sated, Agitated or calm. Those are all completely fine ways to enter into meditation. And it's good that you're here. That's enough. Just taking stock, Settling in as you arrive to this place and space, Time and sensation for meditation. Acknowledging with gratitude where you are and how you are. See if you can't become 10% slower. 10% more still. 10% quieter. Your mind is always thinking. That's what your brain evolved to do. That's okay. But you don't have to hold on to those thoughts. Notice them. Let them go and drift off. You don't have to dwell in that space of nervous thinking. Notice your body. Can it become just a little, Just a little more relaxed? Find one spot in your body that you notice is particularly tense. And see if you can invite that spot to let go. Notice your breathing. Again, Starting just as it is. And then bringing it in a little deeper, Letting it out a little slower. Inhaling a little deeper again. Exhaling a little slower again. Inhaling deeper. Exhaling slower. One more time. Inhaling as deep as you can. And letting out as slowly as you can. In this meditation, We're going to try to find forgiveness. For an injury we've had, A wrong we've experienced, Where the person hasn't even asked for forgiveness. Can we forgive when there's been no apology forthcoming? It's not easy. Breathing. Just thinking about this might make you tense. So keep coming back to your breath, Settling in, And slowing down. For the purpose of this meditation, You might want to pick someone in particular who's wronged you. That might be too hard. Maybe you just want to focus on the feeling of being wronged. And if that's too hard, Just think about the word, The abstract concept of being wronged. Do what's safe for you. Because forgiveness isn't for the other person. It's for your own healing. Coming to your breath. Breathing in deeply. And out slowly. In. Out. In. Out. Gather your attention in your mind's eye to the subject of the transgression. Whoever or whatever has wronged you. And again, If that's too hard and upsetting, You might think about the feeling of being harmed. Or just the word and concept of harm. Gathering it in your mind's eye. Acknowledging what that makes you feel. The woundedness that you've undoubtedly experienced. What words of comfort, Apology, And amends would you like to hear? Without grasping or resentment, Just imagine hearing those words. Perhaps they begin with, I'm sorry. And let this script play in your head as you need to hear right now. If all this starts to unsettle you, Just return to your breath. Find yourself. You're the important part of this process. In this vision, How would you accept their apology? That's where the healing is for you. Can you allow for this unspoken apology? And accept it. That we all make mistakes, And we all can dig our heels in when we do. Breathing, And finding a way just for this moment to accept that unspoken apology. Remembering that forgiving and letting go of anger and resentment and hurt. Is for your benefit, Not for theirs. And when this process stirs up, Feelings intense distress perhaps. Come to your breath, Settle. Take care of yourself. And then, The last piece, Coming to that imagining in our mind's eye of the person who's wronged us, Who has in our mind's eye apologized, And to whom we have given forgiveness. Again, Perhaps thinking of a person is too difficult so you can encapsulate the emotion or just the concept. Remember to watch them recede, Getting smaller, No longer having any hold on you. And you don't need to have any attachment to what they've done. It was theirs all along. Letting them slide away, Get smaller. Letting them go. And they're smaller still, So small, Tiny even. And as you breathe and let them go, You may find they've completely disappeared. Beginning to your breath, Take a moment to take stock of the sensations and feelings and thoughts once you forgive. Maybe you feel lighter. Do you feel more relaxed? Free? As you breathe, Breathe with gratitude for that bit of release. As you breathe, Breathe with gratitude for that bit of release.