G'day and welcome to today's meditation,
The 3am spiral.
My name is Dylan and I'll be spending the next 12 minutes guiding you through this meditation.
If you're here right now,
It's probably not by accident.
Maybe it's 3am and your mind won't stop.
Maybe it's not 3am at all,
But the same quality of spiral has found you anyway.
That particular kind of thinking that goes in circles.
That takes something small and makes it enormous.
That whispers things in the dark that would never be said in the light.
I want you to know something first.
What is happening for you right now is not a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
It's a sign that your mind is doing something that minds do naturally.
Especially minds that care.
Especially minds that are tired.
Especially minds that have learnt,
Somewhere along the way,
That staying vigilant is the safest option.
You don't have to fight this.
We're not here to wrestle the thoughts into submission.
We're here to change your relationship with them.
So wherever you are right now,
Let your body settle as much as it's willing to.
And let your eyes close if that feels okay for you.
And just listen to the sound of my voice.
Before anything else,
Let's bring you into the present moment.
Not tomorrow,
Not last week.
Just here.
Feel the surface beneath you.
The weight of your body.
The temperature in the air.
Take one slow breath in.
And a long slow breath out.
Just for a moment.
I wonder if you can notice five things that you can physically feel right now.
Not think about,
But feel.
This may be the pressure of the mattress,
Or of the chair,
The texture of the fabric,
The temperature of your hands,
The rise and fall of your chest,
Maybe even the air moving through your nose.
You are here,
In a perfect body,
And this moment,
And this moment is actually fine.
The spiral was happening somewhere else.
Somewhere in the future hasn't arrived yet,
Or in the past that can't be changed tonight.
And for now,
We're going to stay here,
In the present moment.
It may be useful to know.
When anxiety takes hold,
The mind does something quite predictable.
It moves into the future,
And it starts playing out all types of possibilities,
Well,
Not all possibilities,
Just the worst ones.
And here's the trap.
The mind presents those worst case thoughts as facts,
As things that are true,
Or things that are definitely going to happen.
And the body responds to them as if they are real,
Right now,
In this moment.
This can potentially cause more fear,
Which generates more thoughts,
Which creates more fear,
And it goes and goes.
The technical term for this is fusion,
And maybe you've become fused with the thought.
It's no longer something your mind is producing,
It feels like something that is true.
And a way through this is not to argue with the thought,
Not to try and think your way out,
But to create a little distance,
To step back,
And see the thought for what it actually is,
Simply a thought.
Just a thought,
Not a prophecy,
Not a verdict on who you are or what's coming.
Just a thought,
Produced by a mind that may be tired and trying to protect you.
So let's try something now,
I'd like you to notice whatever thought or worry is most present for you right now.
You don't have to go looking for it,
It's probably already there.
Just notice it,
Without engaging it,
Without following down its path.
And now I want you to try something a little unusual,
Instead of thinking the thought,
See if you can observe it.
If you can,
I'd like you to imagine placing that thought on a leaf,
And watching it float slowly down a stream.
Still there,
Still visible,
But moving.
And you,
Standing on the bank of the stream,
Simply watching it flow down.
You may even like to imagine the thought as a cloud,
Moving slowly across a wide open sky.
The sky doesn't try to push the cloud away,
It just holds it,
And the cloud moves at its own pace,
And passes along.
You are the sky,
You are the river bank,
The thought is just passing through.
Try adding this phrase,
In front of the thought,
Just as a quiet observation.
I notice that my mind is telling me,
Not this is true,
Not I have to solve this right now,
Just,
I notice that my mind is telling me.
And then whatever the thought is,
Notice what that small shift does,
It may not make the thought disappear,
But it may change your position relative to it.
You are no longer inside the thought,
You are watching it,
From just a little further back.
That distance is where your freedom lives.
There is one more thing worth offering you before it loads.
The anxious mind is very good at identifying what is possible,
It can generate an enormous list of things that could go wrong,
The things that might happen,
The things that you might not be able to handle,
But here is what it tends to skip over.
Possible is not the same as probable.
Most of what the 3am mind presents as inevitable is merely possible and often quite unlikely,
And almost always something you have dealt with versions of before.
You have made it through every difficult day of your life so far,
Every single one,
And that's no small feat.
And whatever is waiting for you on the other side of tonight,
You will meet it as someone who has already proven many times over that they are capable.
The thought that says otherwise is just a thought,
And you do not have to believe everything you think.
As you take another deep breath in through the nose,
And an expansive exhale out through the mouth,
I invite you to bring your attention back to the physical sensations of your body.
The weight,
The warmth,
The breath moving quietly in and out.
The thoughts may still be there,
And that's okay.
Thoughts don't have to stop for rest to be possible.
You don't have to resolve anything tonight.
Tonight,
The only thing asked of you is to breathe.
As you take another deep breath in,
An expansive exhale out,
Let your body grow heavier,
Let the quiet settle around you,
And whenever you are ready,
Let yourself drift towards rest.
The morning will take care of itself.
You are allowed to let go now,
Into deep,
Restful,
Peaceful sleep.
