You Are Enough: A Mindful Self-Inquiry Practice

This meditation works with one of the quietest and most persistent sources of distress: the inner critic. Rather than trying to argue with self-critical thoughts or replace them with affirmations, this practice invites you to observe them, to notice how they show up, what they feel like in the body, and what happens when you stop trying to fix them. Using mindful self-inquiry, you'll practise meeting yourself with curiosity rather than judgement, and discover that worth isn't something you have to earn through the quality of your thoughts.

Transcript

G'day and welcome to today's meditation, You Are Enough. My name is Dylan and I'll be guiding you through the next 20 minutes of this meditation practice. There is a particular kind of noise that a lot of people carry around. Not the noise of a busy schedule or a complicated life, I mean those are real enough. This is the quieter noise, The one that runs underneath, The voice that has an opinion about everything you do, That keeps a running tally of your shortcomings, That compares you unfavourably to some version of yourself you'd never quite managed to be. Most people are so used to it that they barely notice it anymore, It's just the background radiation of being themselves. This practice isn't about finding silence in that voice or replacing it with something more flattering, It's about learning to see it clearly, Which turns out to be considerably more useful. So in your own way, And in your own time, I invite you to find yourself in a comfortable seated position, Or maybe even lying down, And whenever you're ready, I invite you to go ahead and start to close the eyes down. Take a glorious slow breath in through the nose, And an expansive exhale out through the mouth, And another deep breath in, And expansive exhale out. Feel the weight of your body, Whether you're sitting or lying, The contact between you and whatever is supporting you right now. Feel the support under your feet, Maybe of the back of your legs, Or simply even just the weight of your head. Let's make contact with the physical reality of being here, In this body, In this moment. Let your breath settle into it's own rhythm, There's no need to control it, Or judge it. And for the next few minutes, Simply allow your mind to focus in on the sound of my voice. Before we begin, It's worth understanding something about how self-criticism actually works. Your inner critic isn't irrational, It developed for a reason, Usually because at some point, Being hard on yourself felt like the safer option. Like if you got to it first, The criticism from outside couldn't hurt as much, And in certain environments, That was probably a reasonable strategy. But sometimes that critic tends to overstay it's welcome, It may keep applying the same logic long past the point where it's actually useful. Maybe it's treating ordinary mistakes as evidence for fundamental unworthiness, Holding you to standards it would never apply to anybody else. The problem isn't that you have a self-critical voice, Everybody does. The problem is when you make the mistake for exploiting it or thinking that it's coming from a place of truth. When it's commentary stops being something you notice and becomes something you simply believe. Mindful self-inquiry is a practice that reopens that gap, The space between having a thought and being certain it's true. So that's what we're going to explore now. I'd like you to bring to mind something your inner critic says to you fairly regularly. It might be something about your work, Maybe your relationships, The way you look, How you spend your time, Maybe even how you compare yourself to others. You may not have to go looking hard, It's probably already at the forefront of your mind. Just let one of those thoughts or belief surface and hold it in your awareness. Now without trying to argue with it or fix it, I wonder if you can begin to get curious First, Where do you feel it in your body? When that thought is present, What is happening physically? Is there a tightening somewhere? Maybe a heaviness, A closing in, Or maybe something else entirely. Just notice, Without needing to change anything. Now, Notice the thought itself, Not for it's content for a moment, But the fact that it is a thought, Something your mind produced right here, In response to being asked. It arrived, The way all thoughts arrive, Without being invited, Without your permission. Can you see it as something that appeared, Rather than something simply true? And now, Gently and without judgement, Ask yourself, How long have I been carrying this particular belief, Not as a question to answer out loud, Just as something to notice. Has it been recent, Or does it feel like something you've known for a long time? And here's the important question, And I'd like you to sit with it honestly, Rather than answering quickly. Is this thought a fact? Or is it a conclusion your mind drew at some point, And has been repeating ever since? You don't need to decide right now, Just notice that it's possible to hold it a little more lightly, As something worth examining, Rather than something beyond question. I invite you now, To bring your attention back to the breath for a moment, Just the physical sensation of it, And here is something worth sitting with. Whatever that self critical belief is, Whatever your inner critic specializes in, There are people all over the world, Right now, Carrying a version of the same thought. The specific content differs, But the structure is the same, The sense of not quite measuring up, Not quite being enough, Of there being some gap between who you are, And maybe what you perceive you should be. That experience is not a sign of personal failure, In fact it is one of the most common features of being human, Which doesn't make it any less comfortable, But it does mean you are not uniquely broken, You are dealing with something that almost everybody deals with, And that recognition that this is shared, Not shameful, Is the beginning of holding it differently. I'd like to invite you to try something simple with me now, Maybe bringing to mind the thought or belief you've been working with today, And at this time, Instead of examining it, Just acknowledge it, Something like, I notice I'm being hard on myself right now, Or maybe this is a painful way to think about myself, And I've been thinking this way for a long time. Just that, A quiet acknowledgement, Without judgement, And without performance. And if that feels okay, See if you can extend towards yourself the same basic decency you'd extend to a friend who told you they were struggling with this. Not fixing, Not correcting, A simple recognition that this is hard, And that you deserve some sort of kindness around it, Worth isn't something you earn through the quality of your thoughts, It doesn't depend on whether the inner critic is satisfied today, It is simply there, Underneath it all, Waiting for you to notice it. But what you have control over today, Is meeting that thought with a different perspective, It's just a thought, Not every thought we have is going to be based on truth, Or honesty, Or kindness. I invite you to very slowly begin to bring your awareness back into the room around you now, You may start by noticing any sounds in your environment, Maybe the temperature of the air, The surface beneath you. I invite you to take a glorious deep belly breath in through the nose, And an expansive exhale out through the mouth, And when you're ready, In your own time and in your own way, Very gently begin to softly open your eyes, Take a moment before you move on, The inner critic will always have more to say, It always does, But you've just practiced something really important, Seeing it and noticing it, Without immediately believing it, And that gap, Small as it may feel today, Is where incredible things begin to change. You are enough. Thoughts will come and go, Remember, You are enough.