The Simplicity Of Happiness

This is a wonderful exploration of happiness: an intrincic human emotion that often times is hard to find. In this episode, we explore the three basic ingredients of finding and maintaining happiness in our lives.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Rubber Puff.

I don't know about you,

But my life seems to go a lot better when I have a plan in place,

When there's a routine and I follow that routine.

For example,

During the summer holidays,

I don't have to take my kids to school because they get to sleep in and do other things.

However,

I keep to my routine.

I get up in the morning,

I meditate,

I go to the gym,

I come back,

Then I go to yoga,

And then I'm off to work.

Now you may think that's boring,

But what the routine does is it allows me just to get up and do what I need to do.

And if it's the same thing every day,

Then it's simple.

I just do what is supposed to be done that day,

And if they're good things for me,

It's a good thing because I don't skip them and I don't miss them.

Now of course,

There has to be some flexibility in my routine because with everything,

Things change.

Sometimes I'm on vacation,

Sometimes I'm traveling for work,

Sometimes it's a holiday or a weekend.

Things change and I adjust,

Though I try to overall stick pretty close to my routine.

I find it simple,

I find it works well,

And I find because I have good things in place,

It keeps me healthy.

For example,

I think we all know people who struggle with eating well or not exercising,

And it usually gets down to a lack of routine.

They just do what they feel like at that moment,

And it often doesn't include good things for their body.

When I was younger growing up in the Midwest,

I remember being in high school eating what sounded good,

Period.

There wasn't any sense of is this good for me,

Is this going to have any effects,

Because I was younger.

It didn't matter that much at that point because I probably wasn't going to put on weight or get unhealthy.

But if I had kept that routine up,

It would have been bad for my body.

One of the sort of semi-researched things that I've done over the years is ask people who are older,

Who I find are very fit and doing well in life,

How did they end up being so fit and healthy at the end of their lives?

And I always get the same response.

They'd done it throughout their life.

They had a routine,

And they stuck to it.

It worked.

But usually what we see is people who are excited for a new phase of their life,

And they want to make changes.

They want to get healthy,

So they start going to the gym or taking a yoga class,

And they go for about a month,

And then perhaps they're tired one morning or they're sore,

Whatever it may be,

And then they stop.

They stop their routine,

And they go back to their old routine of doing what they feel like.

We can even apply this principle to professions.

For example,

Overall,

Professionals,

Lawyers,

Doctors,

Dentists,

They tend to do the best financially,

Because one,

They learn what they learn,

They learn it well,

And then they tend to do the same thing for many decades.

And they may learn a few new things along the way,

But it's pretty much the same job throughout their lives.

And it's that stable routine that creates success.

They do their job,

They do it well,

It doesn't take a lot of new skills once they learn their skills,

And they just keep doing it,

And it ends up creating financial success,

For the most part.

Now you may be asking,

What the heck does this have to do with happiness?

Well,

In today's podcast,

I want to talk about the simplicity,

Or really the routine,

Of happiness.

Because at its core,

Happiness has an algorithm,

Or a method,

For being happy.

And if we follow it,

We routinely follow it,

We'll be happy.

And it's a very simple plan,

Which is why I like it.

Because when we have a routine in place,

Our alarm clock goes off,

And we get up,

And we go to the gym,

We're going to do that every day.

We're going to get used to it,

It's going to be a habit,

And we're going to feel weird when we don't do it.

Habits are habits,

Good or bad.

So let's create a happiness habit that really works that simple,

So we don't have to think too much about it.

We just need to implement it every time we're struggling.

And what is that happiness habit?

Now mind you,

I teach a lot of ways to be happy on this podcast,

A lot of different nuances that we can implement in order to improve our lives.

But if we're struggling,

Or if we just want to know,

Okay Dr.

Puff,

What do I need to do,

Bottom line,

To be happy?

And if I do this,

Bottom line,

It's going to work,

And my life's going to go well.

What's the bottom line?

And today's podcast is the bottom line.

So here it is.

Well,

If life is going well,

If everything is going smoothly,

We don't do anything.

We just keep doing what we're doing.

And we're going to be happy,

Because life's going well.

That's part one,

Very simple.

Just keep doing what we've been doing,

If it's working.

Here's part two.

Let's say life isn't going well.

We don't like the way it's going.

Well,

Then we do things within our power to change it.

And if we can't change it,

We accept it.

Now if this second part is freaking you out,

Hang in there.

I'll try to elaborate on it.

It's still going to be that plan,

But I think you'll understand it better if you hang in there.

And let me explain what I mean by part two,

Because part one is very simple.

Life's going well.

We just keep living our life the way it's working.

But once it isn't going well,

Then of course we're going to want to do things to make changes.

And those changes may or may not make an impact.

It's when they don't make an impact.

It's when we need to take a deep breath and say,

Okay,

Have I done everything in my power right now to make a change?

And if the answer is yes,

And right now there's no change,

Then we work towards acceptance.

Acceptance of what is.

Now tomorrow morning we make it up and say,

New day,

I'm tackling this one again.

But at the moment,

We accept.

But that's our routine.

Life's going well,

No change.

Life isn't going well,

Try to make changes.

If those changes don't work,

Accept.

Life going well,

No changes.

If we don't like what's going on,

Try to make changes.

If those changes don't work,

Accept.

Now the part about acceptance is a little bit more complicated.

All I mean by that is,

Okay,

If we have something we don't like and we can't change it right now,

The acceptance might be,

Yes,

I can't change it right now,

But I don't have to give it any energy.

Instead,

I can do this.

I can focus on this.

Because whatever our minds focus on,

That's where our energy's going to go.

So let's say,

For example,

I'm out of work and I don't like that.

I want work,

I need work.

So I get up in the morning,

I spend maybe four to six hours looking for work,

Applying online,

Talking to people,

Using LinkedIn,

All the resources I can think of to get a job,

And after those four to six hours,

Nothing works.

Then I stop and say,

Okay,

I did not get a job today,

So for the remainder of the day,

I'm going to join my family,

I'm going to get outside,

I'm going to go for a walk,

I'm going to enjoy my life and focus on other things and not even give any energy towards not having a job for the remainder of the day.

Now again,

The next morning I'll wake up and I'll do it again.

But the key of it is,

Once we've done what we could do and we've done enough,

Then we pause and we say,

Okay,

Today I'm unemployed.

I'm going to accept that and work towards enjoying my life as an unemployed person.

Let me use another example to illustrate this.

Let's say we're single right now and we don't like that.

So we spend a little bit of time each day trying to meet a new potential mate,

Perhaps online,

Perhaps going to single events,

Perhaps reaching out to our single friends or friends that may know people.

But once that's done and we're not on any dates and we're not looking to find any dates,

Then we focus on enjoying our lives as a single person.

We enjoy our friends,

We get out and do things,

Perhaps we read a book.

We just focus on what we do have,

Not on what we're missing right now.

We accept that today I'm single,

Tomorrow we may put energy towards it again to change that.

But today,

At this moment,

If we can't do anything about it,

Then we accept our singleness and we enjoy our lives.

Period.

Here's one that a lot of you may think you can get around this and say,

No,

I'm going to suffer.

Period.

For example,

Let's say we're in physical pain and it's constant.

So in those situations,

Again,

We make sure that we're doing what we can do to alleviate those pains.

For example,

We may get massages,

We may take hot,

Epiphyseal salt baths,

We may exercise,

We may stretch.

There's a lot we need to be doing to make sure that we're doing things to alleviate that pain.

But once we've done what we can do,

And that pain is still there,

Then we have to say,

Okay,

I get it.

Today,

Today,

Not forever,

But today,

I'm living with this pain.

So life is easier when I don't give it 100% of my attention.

I know it may be quite painful,

But again,

If I don't give it my full attention,

It's not going to be as painful.

We create a lot more pain when we think this pain is never going to go away,

It's always going to be there,

Isn't this horrible,

What's wrong with my life.

All the stories we create make the pain 10 times worse.

When we don't create those stories and we distract ourselves,

The pain is much better.

I often use the example of top athletes in the world.

I can guarantee you,

Their bodies are in a lot of pain.

And mind you,

They have developed a high pain tolerance because of their exercise,

But sometimes they're just in pain.

And because they don't create a story about their pain,

It isn't that bad and they can live with it and they don't even mind.

I mean,

They may not like the pain,

But they're able to live with the pain because they realize it's just part of what they do.

Life sometimes involves pain,

It does.

If we live long enough,

We're going to experience aches and pains of life.

But creating stories about them,

Focusing on them,

Instead of accepting them and then moving forward,

Life goes a lot better with acceptance.

It's a lot less painful when we accept the pain and then live our lives.

One last example of how we can deal with this.

Let's say we had an emotional trauma,

Say someone raped us,

Something big like that.

Well,

Again,

Of course,

Each morning we need to get up and say,

Okay,

How am I going to heal from this rape?

How am I going to make sure I'm getting the pain that this person caused me out of my system?

I spent my life helping people heal from traumas.

We can heal from them.

But the healing process is truly a small part of the day.

I believe up to an hour is best in those situations to spend healing.

Intense healing,

Where we're focused on it all day long,

I think is too much.

I feel it's far better just to spend like an hour a day,

Maybe doing a variety of things to go through the process of healing,

And the rest of the day just living our lives and not giving it much thought.

And when those thoughts come up,

Say,

Nope,

I've already done my work on that healing.

Now I'm going to live my life and not let that person rob anything more from my life.

I'm going to love my life and accept that I can have a beautiful life,

Even with this trauma.

So in conclusion,

At its core,

Happiness can be very simple.

It's a very simple process to be happy.

Mind you,

It's not easy,

But it's simple.

So if we keep things simple,

Which I like,

I hope you do too,

I think it's a lot easier as we go through our day to say,

What am I supposed to be doing right now?

Because our minds can create a lot of stories that cause us suffering.

And I believe that when we have a simple plan in place,

Our lives go well.

So again,

That plan is this.

If life is going well,

Do nothing.

Just keep having a beautiful life.

But if life isn't going well,

Then decide,

Is there anything I can do about it to make it better?

And try to implement those changes right now.

And if those changes don't make any difference,

Then we say,

Today,

At this moment,

I'm going to accept this thing that is going on and live my life well.

Find happiness,

Even with this thing,

I wish wasn't there right now.

Tomorrow,

I can tackle it again.

But today,

I'm going to accept.

Am I going to find beauty in my life,

No matter what?

All right,

There is a slight P.

S.

Here.

I just want to add,

When we accept what's going on today,

We say,

Okay,

I get it.

I have to live with this today.

The way we don't live with it is turn towards things that make our lives worse,

Like addictions,

Like drugs,

Or anything that shut down the emotions so we're not filling them.

And in a sense,

We're masking our acceptance.

We're not really accepting things.

A lot of people do that,

So be careful.

But for us,

We know that what we work towards is acceptance.

After we've done what we can do to make things better,

And then tomorrow,

We'll tackle it again.

So let's all work towards this simple plan of happiness and have beautiful lives one day at a time.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

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Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

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And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Simple Clear Practical. Thank you

As always simple but powerful tips... routine is good....stick with it🙏🏼

A good and honest explanation of how to cope with things one step at a time. Thank you for sharing.

Such a happy and jolly yet soothing voice and such potent but simple truth delivered!

Profound and much needed for me at this moment❤️

Very helpful Thank you 😀