Surrender: The Essence of Meditation

Practice the peace of surrendering to the present moment, letting go of the struggle of “should” and “shouldn’t be.” A breath-centered guided meditation.

Transcript

So as we begin this meditation,

Take a moment to settle into your seat,

Making any necessary adjustments in your seating posture so that you can sit comfortably for the next few minutes.

And you'll be moving around as little as possible,

Finding a natural sense of stillness within the body that will help you find a deeper sense of stillness within the mind.

And you can allow your eyes to softly close and begin to direct your attention down to the lower belly and noticing the rising and falling of your lower belly as you breathe in and breathe out.

And throughout this meditation,

The breath will be the anchor that you keep returning to again and again to hold your attention in the present moment.

So noticing the rising and falling of your lower belly as you breathe in and breathe out.

There's a naturally soothing quality to the breath that helps you begin to slow down and relax.

And particularly if you bring an emphasis to the out-breath,

Allow your out-breath to be longer than the in-breath.

And as you breathe out,

There's a sense of letting go,

Opening,

Relaxing,

Settling.

Sometimes it's helpful to have a count to follow along with in the breathing,

So I'll give you a count that you can follow along with if you like.

You can adjust it to suit your own breathing patterns if it's too fast or too slow for you.

So go ahead and exhale all the air from your lungs.

And breathe in,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Exhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight.

Inhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Exhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight.

Go ahead and continue that rhythm of breathing at your own pace,

Allowing your out-breath to be almost twice as long as your in-breath.

And again,

If that count is too fast for you,

You can adjust it to suit your own breathing patterns.

But the basic idea is that you're emphasizing the out-breath and allowing it to be longer than the in-breath.

And this sends signals to your nervous system that tell your body to relax,

Engaging that parasympathetic nervous system,

The relaxation response,

And shifting out of our habitual pattern of being in the sympathetic nervous system,

The fight-or-flight response.

And again,

Each time you breathe out,

There's that sense of letting go,

Relaxing,

Opening,

And letting go.

The theme of the meditation is actually surrender.

So there's a quote from the teacher Sylvia Boorstein that I would like to share.

She says,

I've discovered there are only two modes of the heart.

We can struggle or we can surrender.

Surrender is a frightening word for some people because it might be interpreted as passivity or timidity.

Surrender means wisely accommodating ourselves to what is beyond our control.

So as we continue to sit and rest our attention on the natural rhythm and patterns of the breath,

There are many things happening in this moment that are beyond our control.

There might be sounds in the external environment that call your attention away from the breath.

There might be aches or pains or itches within the body that call your attention away from the breath.

There might be thoughts,

Memories,

Daydreams popping up in the mind calling your attention away from the breath.

Whether it's outside or it's inside,

The way we relate to it is the same.

When you notice that something else is calling your attention away,

Just softly make a note of that in your mind.

Release it without feeding it anymore,

Creating any more drama about it.

Just let it go and come back to the breath.

Recalling each time again to the simplicity of sitting,

Breathing.

So,

If surrender means wisely accommodating ourselves to what is beyond our control,

Then in this moment it means accommodating ourselves,

Allowing our experience to unfold exactly as it is,

Without any sense of trying to control or manipulate the present moment,

Without any sense of struggle against the way things are.

So,

That could include your leg falling asleep as you sit in your meditation posture.

And you notice your habitual tendency to want to shift and fidget in order to make that sensation go away.

But you could also ask yourself if that shifting is really necessary or if it's just habitual.

Of course,

The goal in meditation is never to be in pain,

So if you need to move,

That's perfectly fine.

But see if you can notice the difference between a movement that is necessary and a movement that is just acting out of habit,

Restlessness,

Fidgeting.

And then choose,

If you wish,

Not to act on that movement,

That impulse,

But simply surrender again,

Wisely accommodating yourself to what is beyond your control and resting without struggle in the present moment.

Each time bringing your attention back freshly to the breath.

And letting go of any impulse towards thought,

Storylines,

Commentary,

Daydreams.

Requires a certain honesty with yourself to surrender to the present moment.

To practice again and again letting go of all that is habitual in the mind.

Our tendencies to wander into the past and into the future in our minds.

Remembering that argument we had with our friend yesterday,

Thinking about what we should have said,

Or thinking ahead to what we're going to have for lunch today.

Or just not really being with the present moment in an open way,

But creating some kind of commentary or storyline about the present moment,

What's wrong with it,

How it could be better,

If only we could do this or do that to make it better.

So all of these things are a form of struggle against the simplicity of what actually is unfolding in this moment.

It doesn't mean that what is unfolding in this moment is perfect in the sense of always being exactly what we would like.

Of course that's rarely the case.

But it's always perfect in the sense of being exactly what it is.

Nothing other than what it is.

The teacher Adyashanti says,

The only thing that is happening is what is.

You can't really suffer unless you go into what should or shouldn't be.

So I think this is another way of looking at what Sylvia Borstein was pointing out as the two modes of the heart.

We can struggle or we can surrender.

In each moment we can practice surrendering to this moment as it is,

Which is really the only thing that is happening.

Or we can struggle and inner minds go into some kind of should or shouldn't be.

Notice the difference in your experience between surrendering to the present moment as it is and struggling with the present moment in some way.

What do these two modes of the heart feel like?

Which one feels better?

Which one brings more suffering?

And again,

When you surrender to the simplicity of the present moment as it actually is,

That doesn't necessarily mean that the present moment is everything you would like it to be.

You might still have your leg falling asleep or the dull ache in your back.

There might be things happening in your personal life that are weighing on your mind.

You might be struggling in your life with a situation that brings you suffering.

But in the context of this moment in your meditation practice,

You can practice surrendering to this moment as it is or struggling against this moment.

Going into some kind of should or shouldn't be,

A storyline within your head that takes you away from relating openly and honestly to what actually is.

So in each moment you have this choice,

You can struggle or you can surrender.

Again,

Which one feels better?

You can see this happening in your mind in your meditation practice.

Again how much more it happens in everyday life when you're going about your work or interacting with friends,

Enemies,

Loved ones,

People you don't know.

These two modes of the heart,

Struggle or surrender.

We always have the choice in each moment,

Whether we're on our cushion or we're going about our everyday lives.

We always have this choice to relate openly and honestly,

To wisely accommodate ourselves to the things that are beyond our control or to struggle to cause ourselves additional suffering.

This doesn't mean of course that there aren't things in our lives that we should change.

It doesn't mean that there aren't injustices that we should fight against.

It's more about recognizing the difference between these two modes of the heart within the solitude of our own heart and mind.

We come from a place of peace when we surrender and we wisely accommodate what's beyond our control and we understand what's within our control.

Or we shift into the mode of struggle,

The mode of should and shouldn't be.

We begin to go to battle with ourselves,

With our loved ones,

With our friends and enemies.

But as Sylvia Borstein says,

Surrender doesn't really mean passivity or timidity.

When it's time for action,

You can take action.

It just means that in this moment you recognize the difference between struggle and surrender.

And which one creates suffering for you.

And bring your attention back to the rhythm of the breath.

Back to your lower belly,

Noticing the rising and falling of your lower belly as you breathe in and breathe out.

Surrendering once again to the simplicity of the body sitting,

Breathing.

The only thing that is happening within the context of this moment,

This practice.

And notice how your mind perhaps wants to go away from this simplicity into some kind of should or shouldn't be some kind of commentary.

And notice how that affects you,

Notice the effect it has on your mind,

On your body.

And come back again,

Surrendering once again to the breath,

To the simplicity of this moment without any agenda,

Without any commentary,

Without any need to try to make it into something other than what it is.

Like In this moment,

It's just bothering you.

Reviews

simple, powerful anf beautiful. This meditation brings back to the basic while keeping it interesting and instructional

This practice was so beautiful and needed. I learnt that there is a choice to be made and once made my present moment to moment flow shall feel stronger and peaceful.

It felt amazingly gentle to make up my mind despite the choice was not too many to decide. My heart whispered to me that Surrendering is more forgiving and peaceful even though the pains might linger and linger. The Struggle mode is most painful and my heart does not deserve this as I know that the simplicity of the divine present moment can only be felt if I surrender to any of my emotions both in body and mind.

I found myself strengthening my present moment space with my breathing rhythm. I was deeply connected enjoying my open self-awareness listening to Dennis’s beautiful guidance. ✨

Thank you so much for your insights and for allowing me to practice such a stunning meditation 👌🏻🙏🏻✨🤍

Very gentle and compassionate. Bookmarked for future listening 🙏

Soothing voice, easy to follow guidance, great theme.

Very thankful. This is helping me learn stillness.

Namaste- very helpful

Struggle. Surrender. What causes you more suffering? Surrender as action. Excellent

Just what I needed. Thanks.

Much appreciated. Simple, insightful. Thanks.

One of the best I've done in a while thanks

I always enjoy being guided & moved by this! Thank you!

Simple. Quite. Beautiful.

Fantastic i missed yesterday's due to other commitments so felt the loss... glad to be back i love this meditation..
'Namasté'🕉☮

My new favorite. 🙏🏻

Very nice. Peaceful. A nice one at the end of the day. Thank you.

Exactly what I needed. Thank you

Love the surrender messages✌🏽️😀

Brilliant guidance. Constant reminder to remain present while not too verbose.
Many thanks