Hello beautiful humans,
My name is Darius and I am a recovering people pleaser.
I said it.
I said it because it's true and it needs to be said.
And I said it because I have spoken to so many of you,
And you too are people pleasers.
Every time I say I'm a people pleaser,
People are like,
Yes,
Me too.
I am too.
And there's almost something nice about people pleasing.
Hold on.
Give me a sec.
The concept of.
Helping people,
Being pleasant and pleasing.
On its own is not a bad thing.
You know,
And the way I see it is,
It's like a muscle.
Yes,
It's nice to be agreeable.
It's nice to be pleasant.
It's nice to make people happy.
That's not a bad thing.
Where it becomes a bad thing is like it's a muscle and we only know this muscle.
And when there is a moment.
.
.
An event,
A situation where we do not agree.
And we have not used this other muscle and we don't know what to do and we're so familiar with this.
That win.
Something comes up that we do not agree with,
We are not on board with,
We are not interested in.
We have no experience.
We have no practice.
Disappointing people.
And sometimes you need to disappoint people.
And so.
Here is the idea.
Ready?
Ready,
Ready,
Ready?
Every week.
Atively look.
Or one.
Opportunity.
To disappoint someone.
Disappoint someone?
Why would I do that?
Hold on.
Let me give some context here.
When I say disappoint someone,
I don't mean walk around every week looking for an opportunity to be a jerk.
That's not what this is.
What I mean is.
When you go through your week,
When you meet someone,
You go to an event,
Something comes up.
And it is not in alignment with you.
You are not in agreement with it.
Look for just one.
One every seven days,
Opportunities for you to practice.
It's a practice.
That's why these are called practices.
We need to practice them.
Opportunities for you.
To disappoint someone.
Disappoint someone with integrity.
With sincerity,
With kindness,
With love.
I don't mean walk around being a jerk.
And I also want to say,
If there are very specific ways that you consistently disappoint someone,
I'll give you a sort of silly example,
But a relevant example,
Say your wife.
Every couple of days asks you for a back massage,
And you are very well practiced at disappointing her and saying,
No,
I will not give you a back massage.
OK,
I'm not pulling this from a real life example.
This is a friend of a friend who told me this example.
But that will not work because that's not an edge.
So in that one a week opportunity to practice disappointing someone with integrity,
With honesty,
With love,
You need to find a place that sort of makes you nervous,
Right?
Any good practice,
Any good workout requires you to come to an edge and be like,
Okay,
This is new.
This is a new neural pathway.
This is a new muscle I'm building.
This feels like an edge.
Feel like I'm going to really upset this person or,
You know,
Disappoint them and the whole point of this.
Is instead of running away from disappointments,
We actively look for opportunities to disappoint with integrity.
And every time we disappoint with integrity,
What are we really doing?
We're honoring ourselves.
We're staying with ourselves.
We're being true to ourselves as opposed to betraying ourselves.
Okay,
So the simple practice is this every week.
Open your consciousness,
Open your awareness for opportunities,
One a week.
To disappoint someone,
To get practice disappointing someone.
And build that muscle.
And build it slow,
Small,
Simple.
And as it grows and grows and grows,
Then when a more challenging opportunity comes into your life.
That is not in alignment,
That you are not in agreement with.
You'll find yourself with a really strong muscle to be able to say,
Not interested.
No thank you.
I will pass.
Try it out,
Let me know what you think.
Thanks for watching,
My name is Darius.
And I will see you next time.
Bye.
