How To Hear The Voice Of Your Soul

1:08:46

How To Hear The Voice Of Your Soul

by Darius Bashar

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5

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talks

Activity

Meditation

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Everyone

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24

In this candid four-person conversation, Insight Timer teachers Darius Bashar, Lou Redmond, Saqib Rizvi, and Charles Freligh explore how to step back from life’s challenges and hear the quieter voice of the soul. The experience begins with a short guided visualization, followed by an honest conversation about purpose, money, parenting, health, surrender, ego, and trust. You’ll explore how creating space around a difficult situation can reveal new perspective, clarity, and guidance. This is a relaxed, vulnerable conversation among four friends and teachers who are sharing what they are navigating in real time.

Soul Guided Visualization Meditation Self Compassion Perspective Ego Parenting Entrepreneurship Creativity Financial Stress Acceptance Emotional Healing Spirituality Group Meditation Perspective Shift Soul Guidance Parenting Challenges Acceptance Practice Relationship With God

Meet your Teacher

Toronto, ON, Canada

Meet your Teacher

Toronto, ON, Canada

Transcript

Hello, Beautiful humans of Insight Timer. My name is Darius. I am so grateful for this time together. I am often grateful for our time together, But this time feels a little different, Partially because we're coming to you in video, Partially because I'm coming to you with three dear, Dear friends, Which I have a feeling Some of you have. A lot of experience with. We're trying something new. Insight Timer has expanded into video, Which I think is really cool. And this group, Which I'm about to tell you a little bit about, Decided to do a little experiment, A little playful exploration. And so today we're going to bring you a format that we've been using for a while. Let me tell you who we is, First of all. So we got Sakib, We got Charles, We got Lou, You got myself. And this group here is, We are friends. We are a mastermind. We are creators on Insight Timer and various other places, But you probably know at least some of us through Insight Timer. For several years we've been getting together. And meeting every week. And sharing and, And, You know, Like, Talking about our creations, Talking about our courses, Talking about our meditations, Talking about our communities, And taking in the wisdom and knowledge and passion of the group. Called a mastermind. And it's been one of the most impactful things in my life. And several times, Several dozens of times in this mastermind, I have thought or literally said out loud, Guys, This conversation is so good. I wish other people could hear this conversation. So many people could benefit from this conversation. Fast forward several years later to now and Insight Timer saying, Hey, We have video and us saying, Hey, Let's try this out. Let's try a bit of our format, Not the full format. Have a conversation and see where it gets us. And so this is the second time we're doing this. I'm excited, I'm nervous, I am not sure what this is. And I'm really excited for the people who follow me on Insight Timer to get a glimpse, A piece of each one of these humans. They have truly, Truly impacted my life in such an incredible way. And so we're going to try this format. I'm going to tell you what the format is. The format is. . . We start with a practice. We use that practice, It's going to be a short practice that I will guide, And allow that to open up space for a question, Some sort of, You know, Exploration. And we let each person, You know, Dive into that question and based off what they're going through based off who they are. And then sort of leave the space open to see where it takes us. I think that's all I wanted to say there. I'm so tempted to say a little bit more about each person here, But I think it'd be nice to hear from you guys before I get into a practice. So maybe we just take a moment to just kind of say hello to the people who follow me on Insight Timer, Which are probably a lot of the people who follow you. But maybe we'll just, You know, Take a minute or two just to introduce yourselves. And so I'm going to start with Mr. Sakib, You're at the top of my screen here. So if you want to just introduce yourself and tell people You know, The type of stuff that you do on Insight Timer in case they're interested. So, Charles and. . . I guess conventionally my educational background is I have a PhD in clinical psychology. But that feels kind of distinct from what I do. When I got my degree. I took a sort of an unconventional route and path, Which a lot of that has been focused on creating stuff on Insight Timer. Also, Meeting with people, I do like what I call individual guidance and that kind of stuff. Increasingly, I just see myself as a creator or an artist and who an artist who creates in a variety of different mediums. And I think meeting with this group has helped me to continue to sort of figure out what that means and expand that and increasingly do work that I feel is just like fully embodied and intrinsically meaningful? So that's just a couple of words to describe me as sort of like conventional background, Took an unconventional path and continuing to try to figure out like what it is that I do. In this space. Awesome. Thank you, Charles. Lou, Jump on in. Yeah, So my name is Lou. And I wake up every day and I wish I was Darius. No, Just kidding But in in realm of that I think when I when I some of I'm sure we have people that follow both of us and so when I Found Darius and his work and what he was doing with his artist morning and just the energy he was putting out like there was something in In his work that was speaking so strongly to me I think because there were so much resonance into a lot of the topics and themes I talked about so very similar around creativity, Confidence, Momentum, Taking action towards our greatest dreams. Like really inspiring that is a big intention that I have on here and with my work. And I see a lot of similarities in what Darius does too. So whenever I see Darius post something about like, Oh yeah, I've talked about that in my own way. So yeah, I'm not Darius, But I try to be myself, I guess a little better each day. You Thank you, Lou. Sock gives back with headphones. Oh, Snap. Tom Finan's active. Yeah, It's working thanks to that. Hahahahaha. I just want to note, I think, I'm sorry Saki, I have to cut you off. Sorry, I just want to note just something that's coming up as we're sharing this. Like I think for me, I love these spaces because I get to be a little bit more goofy and I feel like I don't really on Inside Timer let my goofiness out, But when it's kind of co-creating with you all, There's just an essence of my natural energy when I'm with friends is wanting to crack jokes and stuff. So for those of you just know that I might be doing that and I apologize if you're offended or don't like it. Okay, Sakib, Go for it. And that's wonderful. I would love that. And I would like to do that as well. Yeah, Just as an introduction. I like to say from a place of what is present here and so right now I'm. Just an expression, Just a channel, Maybe a paintbrush for the painter, Whoever is painting that. This expression is usually through meditation practices and practices that are mainly based in non-duality. And this is my the core of my work. That was a very mystical explanation of your work, Which tracks so well for Sakip. Yeah. Amazing. Okay. Thank you, Gentlemen, For allowing me to put you on the spot. I'm going to continue putting you on the spot, So prepare yourselves. All right, So we are going to go into our practice Anything else I want to say before we do this? No, I think it's going to be a few minutes long. It's a guided visualization. That will sort of give us a alley-oop into the question for today's episode. Is it an episode? I think these are episodes. Cool. Figuring it out on the spot. Let's go in. Let's settle into our seats. Let's get comfortable. If you are joining us at home, You by all means can join us here. Closing your eyes if it's available to you. Taking a few deep breaths. And just giving yourself a moment to land. Nice and slow. We've just said a bunch of things were probably in our heads. In our minds and we're gonna slow things down. Come back to our bodies, Back to our breath. Breathing into your heart. Moving the energy from the top of your body, Your head, Down, Down, Down into your heart space. And this exercise in its following question. Are going to need your voice. Are going to need your Brave bold voice. And so let's let your voice take up a little space. On your exhale, I want you to make a little noise with your voice and just connect to the vibration of your voice. Breathing in. Big exhale out, Feel that vibration of your voice. Ah. Just stay with that vibration. Stay with your voice. Your voice is allowed to take up space. Your voice is needed here. Now I want to invite you to find SUM place in your life. Where you are experiencing some sort of challenge. Be a relationship. Could be with your work. It could be your health, Your finances, Anything. Just find a real example. No matter how big or small. Of something that has emotionally been activating you. Something that's happened in the last week or so. Moment and experience. That was challenging. And I want you to imagine. . . You are holding it in your hand. If you're open to it, Place your right hand in front of you and imagine that Situation is in your hand right there. All of the emotions connected to her are right there, Whatever the emotions are, Fear, Anger. Insecurity, Jealousy, Whatever it is, Sadness, It's right in front of you. As we go inwards, We're going to go into this experience. We're going to get smaller and smaller and smaller and get closer and closer and closer. We're in the experience, Fully in it. And as we get. . . This close to it, You'll probably notice the emotions feel bigger. You feel smaller. And if at any point it's too much, You can always. . . Just step back and just listen. There's nothing that needs to happen here. Look around at how big everything feels. And now we're going to take a deep breath. And imagine with our inhale, We go back. And get bigger. Back and bigger, Back and bigger. Here we go, Deep breath in. Back and bigger, Different perspective. Another deep breath in. Back and bigger. Deeper perspective. And with this third deep breath in, We are going to find ourselves behind our human. Here we go, Deep breath in. Back, Bigger. Just above your human. You can place your hand down now. It's a simple little exercise. Little thought experiment. Imagine yourself. Above and beyond, Behind your human. That situation is a lot smaller. You're a lot bigger. Your perspective is wider. More space here. More options here. Take a moment to find comfort in this place. Let's call this place the seat of your soul. Take a moment. To sit comfortably in the seat of your soul. Watching this human experience. There's new wisdom available here when we zoom out. We are not ignoring the feeling. We're just taking a moment to get a little space. A little perspective. From this place, This seat of your soul. Just start to notice. If there's new. . . Wisdom New Guidance available for you in that very specific situation. There's nothing that needs to happen. There's no eureka moment we're looking for. Just a little spaciousness. And in a moment, We're gonna come out of our practice. But before we do, Just take a few deep breaths here. The oxygen. Is rich. Goodness. Very special seat. It's often. . . More possible for us to remember who we really are. K. Let's take one more deep breath here together, Breathing in. Big exhale out. Slowly. Returning here together. You're ready, Opening your eyes and returning to our session here. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for. . . Gone deep with me. So my question. . . And it can be a vulnerable question. Answer with the resourcing you have available to you, But The question is, Is there a place in your life a challenge in your life. Where you are so zoomed in and a little perspective, Say, The seat of your soul. Could help you see something different. And maybe it's something that's already happened. And maybe it's something that's actively happening. Can go. Yeah, Jump in. So, First of all, Thank you for guiding that beautiful meditation, Darius. Just in just a small amount of time, I think that was really powerful for me. And thank you for that. Um. . . Yeah, The situation for me that came up was, Is this what I'm experiencing currently is cough. And in my childhood I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis and that has just continued throughout my life. And it has seasons, It comes in seasons and then it goes away and then it comes back. From the little perspective. Of being in that situation. It seems that this is out of control and I can't do anything about it. And although there's a value to that because that brings a certain sense of acceptance to it that, Okay. You know the risk of coming up I can just accept it I don't have to although you know it is it affects my work because my work is speaking and talking and guiding meditations but still that small perspective is also helpful in a way that it helps with the exact acceptance okay okay just let you know let it be uh i've tried medicine i've tried other things it just comes and goes But when I zoomed out, It was a brilliant broader perspective in which. I know that this issue that comes up has deeper roots and those deeper roots are in basically some emotions that are unresolved or something that is not aligned when it comes to expression and expressing my truth. And so that just gives me a great insight into wanting to work on myself more. So that is what I'm taking from this practice that there's a lot of healing work that can be done here and there's a lot of self-discovery that can happen here and getting to know myself. I think this is a great. Benefit of this and yeah I thank you for that. Yeah, There's something about that seed of your soul that's like, It's happening for you. What is? The gift of it. You know, Um, Yeah, I remember I. Was dating someone years ago who's, Um, A family member had a really intense cough. And we did some exploration around like, There's various different modalities of like, What does the lungs represent? What does the throat represent? What does, You know? And I think in that case, It was like something connected to grief, Which is so interesting how the body holds that and, You know, And I'm excited for you to like explore what that could mean, What your soul could be trying to communicate with you there. Yeah, It's a courageous thing to go deeper like that. Thank you, Saqib. Yeah, Thank you. Yeah, I feel I'm deeply in this and it's almost like not a moment, But it's just in moments of like this real challenge. And I guess on a superficial level, Like the challenge is not making enough money to support my family with this work. And not only that, It's like, Taken such a nosedive like over the last year and then even this year. And there's always this feeling of like, Well, Something's going to turn around, Something's going to happen. And the way that I've been describing it is this like desert feeling of I don't even know where I am. I don't even know who I am. I don't even know what to do. I think there's moments where I'm just sitting at this desk that you see me on right now and I'm like without, You know, Have a whole day ahead of me and I'm just paralyzed with, I have no idea what to do. And when I let myself really feel that, Like I, I been crying and just like really feeling the, What the hell, Like I've been here before. I've been here before. I know what this is like at like a critical juncture in my purpose and mission. And although like so many other beautiful things are happening in my life, I personally think having a purpose and mission and that being disconnected in some way can be so at least for me. Destabilizing and the money is a symptom of it. But what I'm noticing when I take perspective. And some things that I haven't shared with you guys, Because we've been doing this the past couple of weeks, But I have this new offering that I'm doing for free that's reinvigorated a lot of my work and what I feel like I'm here to do. And I'm really, When I take perspective, I'm like, Actually, I really think God is saying, Lou, You've done this role for enough. And it's time for you to do what you know you're really here to do. And for me, That's speaking. I've been coaching a lot over the past few years, But really, I know in my heart of hearts, I'm an inspirational speaker and that's what I need to do. And so it's been a reminder and I'm like, OK, Well, Yeah, Can I trust that even even yesterday, You know, I had someone that was going to do accession today with me and the night before, She's like, I can't do it anymore. Finances. I'm like, You had the same finances last week. But, You know, Just like, Okay, All right. It's such a surrendering. It's such like, Okay, Can I surrender and not hold and grasp on to how I think my work was and really give space for what is emerging in the future? And so, Yeah, It's been incredibly humbling. And uh. . . All the things and also beautiful, Grateful for it and it's hard. It's so humbling, Especially the needs of needing to provide for my family and going into savings and needing support from family. It's humbling. Appreciate you being honest. Yeah, Feel you brother. Can I ask you a question about something you said? It's a question I'm always so curious about. I heard like the, The surrender versus, And maybe you don't know, I'm still trying to figure out. And whenever I hear someone talk about it, I'm like, Did you know anything else that I could use for myself? The difference between surrendering. . . That sacred surrender, Like, You know, Allowing versus like quitting or giving up. Are those different for you in any way? And if so, Like how do you know when? It's which one's happening? Yeah, I think if it was giving up. It's like All right, I'm just done. I'm not taking action during the day. I'm not proactively doing things. I'm not trying new things. I'm not experimenting. Surrender is, For me, A deep relationship and conversation with God of, I'm going to do this if this is in my highest, If this is what you want for me. I will like door will open and if it's not, I'm okay. I'm surrendering the outcome. Like this doesn't have to work out. Um, And it, And seeing the, Especially when things are like on the schedule and then people canceling and then opportunities going away, Like surrendering the, This is, Oh my gosh, This is confirmation that, You know, Everything's failing and I, And I suck and I'm going down like that. Now we're at home. Like, Can I actually see this as another God clearing the path and saying, No, No, This is not where you're needed anymore. And can I surrender and be in that trust of, I don't see the future, But I'm here and I'm willing. And can I keep showing up? I just released a new course on Inside Timer about the four rules for life. And the first rule is, Can I show up? Can I just keep showing up? Showing up, That every day, Can I show up? I'm willing, I'm present, I'm open, I'm putting energy to things. And I'm also letting go, Which is the fourth rule. I'm letting go of how that's supposed to happen. That's helpful, Yeah. One thing I know about you is you show up. You definitely show up and you're hungry. And yeah, I appreciate that answer. Yeah, Man. Thanks for the exploration. That just brought up for me, Not to change directions, But connected to, We got into the discussion of God last time we did this, And the energy of God and one's connection with God. Like being God maybe versus having a relationship with God don't necessarily have to be distinct, But I think that's what You said Lu felt like a distinction for you relative to being God. Being the energy of God and having a relationship with God. I was just noticing that in your answer. The importance of the feeling like it is a relationship. I don't know, I just noticed that. Yeah, Because if I'm God, Then this is up to me in a weird way. Like, I need to figure this out. And in a relationship, I can be like. . . Totally, 100%. And in the relationship you feel like that. The seat of the soul voice says you're supposed to be speaking, Or doing more speaking, Or that's kind of what your meant for or meant to do. Yeah, I know it. I've always known it. It's never it's like I've never not known it It's just here's the opportunities that things have presented in and here's what's been successful and I kind of followed the success and that success is not there. So it's like. Alright, Well maybe now's the time, And if now's the time. . . What how does that look like and not that I will stop doing the other stuff I think that's still a part of it but stop trying to hold on to it like I think right now I'm just trying to hold on to it rather than okay let that be there it's going to come it's going to you know it's it's going to happen but how can I instead try to grow this other thing that's always been such a core of of who I am um and what I'm but I really deeply feel here and what I'm proud to tell people you know and to people when people ask me what I do I know we got talk about this I hate saying I'm a coach like I despise it I don't even know how to I don't even know how to talk about it but if I say when when I answer sometimes still because it's stuff I do but I'll say I'm an inspirational speaker I'm so I feel so cool. You know, Cool, That's a superficial thing, But I just feel connected to that so much more. Yeah, Trying to live that. And so much of what I do on Inside Timer, If you're listening to this, It is that. It's a form of that. And I think that's what's allowed me to be successful on Inside Timer, Is bringing that form into a talk or a meditation is this inspiration. And it's different when I, The way that I coach is just different where that's I don't know if you guys know about like the. . . Gay Hendricks zone of genius zone of excellence zone of competence, Right? And so it's like I feel like coaching is a zone of excellence versus zone of genius and so leaning into more of the zone of genius is what I'm planning to do right now. That's an interesting gauge that like, How do you feel about the answer you give? Are you ashamed of it? Or are you like, Yeah, I do this versus like, Like feeling like cool about it or feeling proud to say. Like this is what I do. I feel like that's such valuable. Information. Yeah, It's like, Is that the seed of your soul telling you? Is that your soul being like, Yeah, We're alive. You know, It's tricky because it's like. Then, Like, Does your eagle have a, Like, Say in it? This question is really fascinating to me, Like the sacred versus like giving up the soul guidance versus the ego guidance. Is, Uh, It's a challenging one to know. Because sometimes they feel similar. Would you guys agree? Because there's an exhilaration in both? But one feels a bit like sometimes I think about it like Soul guidance feels like love? It's like longer, It's more settled, It's still exhilarating. Where like ego guidance feels like lust. It's like, Let's do this thing right now. You got to do it right now. It's so hot. You got to just you know, And it's like, That's a great distinction. I've heard it said, And I've tried to follow this, One feels like peace, The other feels like pressure. There's the urgency. Exactly what you're saying. One is like, Okay, If this is true, This is true. In two weeks. This is true in three months versus, Oh my gosh, This isn't cryptos up. You know, It's about to go up tomorrow. We're going to hit a bit. You know, Here's like a pressure and you don't want to lose out. You got to jump in right now or it's done. There's a FOMO with it. So, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On such a mundane. Level although this stuff is also spiritual too, But like I'm about to buy a couch or I'm in the process of buying a, A couch or sectional for my new house. It's a big, It's a big couch. Uh, But in like, But just, It made me think exactly of that. Cause there was this, They had, It was a 40% off deal ending tonight, Yesterday. And then I noticed the urge to just do it. And then, And I use that as a barometer. If I'm feeling like I'm making a decision out of urgency or rush, Okay, Don't do that. Um, And I checked it again today and it was like, It's now 25% off as opposed to 40% off. I'm like, Oh, That hurts. But then the other part of me is like, It's no big deal. And I'm sure this is just a thing that they do to on a circular cycle basis just to make people. Buy things quickly or just be like 25% is not that much lower than 40%. So I assume it will just come back, But I noticed that. Like that pressure thing and that I try increasingly to use that as a a guidance to not do that thing or just to slow down. But as it relates to those two energies too. My sense for myself, I just noticed that I just came from art class and I have charcoal all over my hands, Which is like a fun thing. But as I think about soul and ego or whatever terms you want to use for that, I've been thinking about it recently like this. It seems to me like they're always together, Like they're always present in some way. But my hope anyways is that the soul is driving the car and ego's along for the ride in some way, But that ego is at least not driving, Not the driving force, Because it easily can be. But at least if I can make sure that Yeah, Ego is on some level involved here, Whatever the thing may be or the project or or even me speaking right now, Probably there's some element of ego involved in what I'm saying. But can I try to make sure mostly that like soul or presence is the one that's really in charge or driving the car for me as a helpful. Like way to think about it. I feel like I can tell the difference just energetically. I love this conversation of soul and ego. I think a very clear distinction is similar to what like Lou was saying about peace and pressure and I noticed that when it's the ego's decision the thinking mind is like very active like there are n number of thoughts and then there is like planning or you know today I'm thinking this is right tomorrow I'm thinking no this is not right and there is a lot of switching Whereas. . . The soul's voice is more of a feeling, Like I just know this. I don't know why, I cannot explain why, But I just know that this is true and it is more of a feeling. And I think the challenge lies in like a lot of times that. Because they're thinking mind is too active or the voice of the ego is so active. That it's actually difficult to. Sometimes connect with that voice of the soul but when I go for a reflective walk or walk in nature or meditation in nature that that voice of this will becomes more clearer. So I think it's just kind of that voice of the soul is there but it's kind of clouded in some way. Yeah, That is the distinction for me. And it's like. . . Seems to me the ego wants to speed things up to find it. But it's maybe even actively blocking you from finding the answer that might be so simple if you were to just find space. Like I know for me, If I prioritize just doing a long meditation as it relates to anything, I'll find more clarity or like it'll just become more obvious or I'll just relax about the whole situation. But sometimes I won't let myself do that. That I'll just be like in this energy of searching or try to figure it out. It reminds me of the Ram Dass line that goes, The quieter you become, The more you can hear. Um, Which is just like. Feels quite true to me. I think of that often, Just if you could become quiet enough, Then. Maybe that's the voice of God. It's just like. It's a very soft voice, Potentially, But it is like so clear if you just get quiet enough. Yeah, It's an interesting thing to explore. Like, Where is your soul loudest? In what circumstances, Under what activities. And where is it hard to hear your soul? Yeah, Something about nature, There's something in the lake. Usually when there's a big decision, Sleep helps me. It quiets stuff, You know, And I often wake up in the middle of the night having to go to the washroom and it's like there's a moment from my bed to the washroom where I'm sort of conscious but not conscious. And I honestly get like the best guidance in that 30 second walk. Because I think whatever is happening, Soul is clearer. Is it harder to go back to sleep? Like if you're like, I just got downloaded something, But now I got like two hours of sleep. No no no it's not i you know i i it's like it's like the simple because i think also soul speaks simply It's like very, Very, Very simple. Like, Don't do that. Say email that person like it's like so simple so You know, I'll probably just say it a few times with my eyes closed, You know, As I'm washing my hands, Like, Oh yeah, I gotta remember this thing. Remember to do this thing. And it's, I think it's got a hundred percent track record. So when we started this video, I didn't think we were going to talk about me peeing at night, But you're welcome. Whoever's listening. That's when. . . Soul here. You're connecting me. I had one of those ideas just recently. I never normally don't get ideas in that time, But I just recently had is exactly what you said. I went to the bathroom in the middle of night, Came back to bed and I just had this idea like message this person with like hey just say you'll send them their book and and and like just do it and i haven't done it yet i've been like oh it's a little weird but you know now you're like okay let's let's listen to it let's see what happens they say no they say no What if you access something in dreams? You go to like the field, The pure field. You know in your. . . Yeah, There's something about those moments right before you fully wake up. You know, I also do the same thing right before I open my eyes, Like the moment I opened my eyes from a meditation. I do my best because I think our brains are most susceptible and also some portal is open. Again, I'm just making this stuff up for me, But that's what it feels like. So I know we're at the 40 minute mark, Charles, I'm eager to hear. What you gotta say about that. This question. Oh, Sure. My answer to the question. Just to finish an unclosed thought as it relates to the simplicity of that voice, I was just thinking like the voices of prophets, Like they tend to be so simple or like sutras or these like the deep texts of wisdom are so Just when you said the voice is simple, That really strikes me how the deepest wisdom that really hits you, Or just like the line from Ram Dass, The quieter you become, The more you can hear. Bam. But it's it's really easy to. Get super complicated with it and then you maybe get caught in the noise and lose the the signal, But I feel like that's such an art form to have access to that and be able to transmit it. Alan Watts said it like this, It's very easy to understand but very difficult to describe, Whatever it is. The thing probably that like the God thing, The present moment thing, The spirituality thing. And I believe that to be true. It's really easy to get because it's like the simplest thing maybe, But it's so hard to describe maybe because it is so simple. But yeah, I don't know, Something about that, Like this, It's the simple voice and just thinking of the ancient, Like, I got the Tao Te Ching next to me and the Upanishads, They're all so like that, It's just like. . . So simple. But maybe that's because when they have access. That wisdom, It's like there's no ego. Involved. There's just a pure channel just kind of coming through and they've found some way to capture it. Yeah, I find you're very good at simple. I really appreciate that about your work. I feel like with simplicity. It allows space for the idea to work its way through. You know, And I'm constantly trying my best to be as simple as possible so the message has a chance. And I really appreciate your guidance and your facilitation and your work for its simplicity. Thanks. Bye guys. Penetrating power. Thanks. That is, I feel like, Something I've increasingly attempted and attempt to work on. Simplifying something you said one time, And I will get to the answer to the question now, But you said, It's like, As it relates to. . . Like a meditation or maybe you're making a video or any sort of creative offering that is intended to be consumed by an audience. I think you said, Like, How do you want them to feel? And that was a very clarifying question for me, As opposed to the, Like the message or the concept or the, You could get lost maybe in that stuff. And then you might find yourself actually making them feel exactly not how you want them to feel. But it was a clarifying, I think of that like pretty often. How do you want the person to feel? And that might really simplify. What you're saying that often is that it's like, Say less, Basically, Say a little less, Leave a little bit more space. What is the exact thing I'm trying to say? And just keep it to that. I think it's a part of me that even like it's fun too to say a lot of words and like play and go kind of all over but then you can that is probably creating not really the energy that I want to transmit. It's more of like a this sort of thing and mainly what I'm wanting to send is just like this sort of thing which might not require many words at all. So, Yeah, I just want to say, Like, I think of that. You said that, Right? I think of that a lot. Yeah, It's a part of my process. How do you want them to feel? Yeah. Yeah, Several processes. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, I'll answer. Mine. Yeah, It was quite clear because it is incredibly present. I think I might've shared with Lou about this just separately. Uh, I don't know if I've shared with you all, But my son, He's almost four now. For the past maybe two months consistently, His sleep has been terrible. This has made me kind of depressed. I go in and out of it. It can bring me just like a baseline feeling of depression because he's. . . We took the gate off of his crib a few months ago as we're transitioning to a regular bed. To shift him out of wearing diapers at night and didn't work well. So he's like back. It was sort of a confusing, Weird. Transition period. And he's getting up like maybe 10 to 20 times throughout the night. And I tend to be the one to put him back to bed because it's just, It can happen quicker. And if my wife Lindsay puts him back to bed, It works too, But it just takes longer. So I tend to be the one to just like, He comes in, Go back over. He comes in, Go back over. And it's like, So there's, There's two parts of it that are quite difficult for me. There's one that's just the physiological element of just like, It's kind of torture, Like sleep deprivation, Uh, And just. You know, Have completely interrupted, Predictably interrupted sleep, Which also makes it hard to get back to sleep because I know I'm going to be woken up again in the not too distant future. So that part, And then there's the part that's maybe even worse, Which is like, It makes me feel negatively toward him and like mad at him. It just makes me feel like negative feelings towards my son, Which makes me feel bad about myself because that's the last thing that I ever want to feel. And I never want to make him feel like shame for this happening. And I acknowledge my feelings in the middle of the night of just feeling almost full of rage. Like I get to this kind of energy and then I keep having to just like squash it, Squash it, Or just like. Let it go, Let it go. But there'll be some times where I brought him back to his bed and he's like. You know, Doing something and I'm like, I just, I'm like this, Like, Okay. Like just to let the feeling go as much as I can and then it keeps coming back. And then it's present throughout the day. And then I, You know, Do whatever I can to kind of recalibrate and. Be okay with it. So that was like, It's sort of a messy thing. And I don't know how long this is going to last. And it's like really quite difficult. And then there is the part of me that's, So when you zoom out and access like the seat of the soul, That part of me was like, Uh. . . Well, First of all, There's the answer, Just acceptance, Like just. You know, Do what you can to help him learn how to sleep. But I think time will solve the situation. And probably when I look back, It won't really be that big of a period of time that this was happening. But the seed of the soul also felt like bad for me. It wasn't like a just let it go. It was like, That's really hard, Man. And it makes sense for you to feel upset and sad and frustrated. Drained. So to like sit in the seat of the soul was less like a. . . Providing a wisdom and it was a bit more of just like a compassion that felt kind of nice for myself. Just like, This is hard. Because also as someone who's in this role of like, You know, Facilitating people to sort of be in your best. Self and your best state of mind and all that kind of stuff. It can feel like I'm doing something wrong if I I'm feeling depressed. But then if I look at the situation, It makes total sense if you're just not getting any sleep. To feel this way. The, Yeah, The accessing that part of me was like just feeling some, Uh, Like compassion and love. For myself in the midst of this. That's interesting. That there is compassion there. Yeah. All right, So Doing the exercise, Does that allow you now to have a bit more compassion for yourself or was it just in the exercise? Yeah, Now too. It like reminds me of that part of me. And it reminds me. . . To accept it even more. Because I get in the biggest suffering place when I'm just resisting. The existence of this problem happening? Um. . . Uh, That's when I get really frustrated. Uh, So the nights that go best are the ones where I'm just like, Fully embracing. This is going to happen. When it happens, Just help them get back to bed. And then it's interesting. It even seems like it happens less when I'm in that energy. But sometimes something will like trigger me being in a really reactive state. And then it's like we've got a really rough night ahead of us, It seems. One, I'm a little scared of tail turning four. Uh, Two, Uh, Tails nine months now and I can relate in a different way, But it's like. Stop crying. Why are you crying? I love you so much, But please. Yeah. And they're babies and they're kids and, And we're human. It is hard. You know, There's some I remember my friend Ben told me it's like. He gave me like. . . Daddy training, Like, Like, Okay, Here's how you change your diaper. He brought a plushie toy, Diapers and beef jerky and pickles for us to like eat, Have a picnic and then taught me how to change my diapers. And he did all these like military scenarios. It was wild. And he's like, And the baby's crying and they cry. I'm like, How much do they cry? He's like, Oh man, They cry so much. And it's like the frequency of the cry is the exact frequency that gets to your brain. It's like that cry was built for your brain to get triggered. I'm like, Oh my gosh. Um. . . Yeah, So I appreciate the vulnerability of that share. My heart goes out to you too and those. . . Nighttime moments and I'm happy you were able to hit a little bit of self-compassion because I got lots of compassion for you and I'm sure others would too. Yeah, I appreciate that. And I should say, I'm imagining it's mostly in this time, And correct me if I'm wrong, Charles, But N Charles is able to see 10 or so clients a week, Goes live on Inside Time or twice, And created like a 44-day course in this time period that you're getting interrupted sleep 10 times a night, And still is prolific in his creation. So for anyone that's like, Well, I'm not sleeping well, I can't do my thing, I think Charles is an example of someone with that even Just the discipline. Something I always admire about you, Charles, Is your discipline and commitment to your craft and to saying what you're going to do and getting it done no matter what, Really. And it's three live sessions a week now. I just added one on Friday. Flex. Why are you so lazy? For my new course, I find it's like that stuff too, Like there's the element of That's a lot, But also it's nice to have that, If that makes sense. Like, Like, I mean, The course, Yeah, Like, Just like, Here's something to just channel my energy into. And Yeah, I think I talked with Saka about this too. I think like the value of limitation that sort of like can force productivity or like creation when it's like I only have this limited amount of time that it's maybe like priorities have to crystallize or intensify in a way that I might not if I had lots of space. Yes, I totally agree. I think I'm in a new relationship and I have less time than I used to have before but I make sure that in that less time I do my best and I'm usually more productive. And what else something you said Charles about that also made me feel compassion for like my parents somehow because um you know I've seen you you according to me you are like a wonderful father and you are a very caring and compassionate father but even if you can feel like you know that anger with his natural you know towards uh towards your son I can understand the anger of my parents as well you know what they felt and to realize that it was not really directed at me but be it was their own emotions that they were processing through that. So it makes me just feel compassion for them as well. I will say I try to be quite intentional about coming back to him quickly if I do feel like I got. Reactive or something, Or. . . Said something I didn't really mean to say or. . . I don't know, Just like. Sorry and like you know that I always love you no matter what and even if even if I'm upset like That's something I try to make sure I do that as quickly as possible. After one of those situations. That's happened. Thanks for letting me, Like, It feels nice to just talk about it because I haven't really talked about it. I mean, Like Lindsay, My wife, Like she's in it. She's in the thick of it with me. It's like a bit different. It just. Share with people. That has kind of just a relieving quality to just honestly sort of vent and express about it. So thanks for that space. You're something new. It feels really interesting and cool about like, For meditation guides, Teachers that are, You know, You're the Zen guy, The Tao Te Ching guy, The, You know, And they, You are that guy. And we are those guys that do our mindfulness meditation practices. And we're real humans. And we struggle and we have. Uncertainty and we have joy and we date new people and we have babies that cry and I think there's some parent or someone going through something out there that perhaps might hear your story and be like, Okay, If you can feel that, I can feel it too. It's all right. I appreciate it. The honesty there. Okay, I'm gonna go into My answer to this. Question around the thing. The teeny tiny perspective and then the seed of the soul perspective. Um. . . Yeah, You guys know I'm trying to get a new place. I bought this loft seven, Eight years ago. It was like my dream photography loft. I'm a photographer in case people don't know that. And so many of my dreams came true in this place and then. Two years ago. New dreams came true, You know, Met the woman of my dreams. She has an incredible daughter, 15 year old, Now 16 year old daughter. We had a baby. This dream lost no longer. Fits all of us, You know, We've reached the capacity. And so I've been on this quest to, And the market in Toronto is terrible, So don't want to sell it. We're trying to rent this, Find a rental that's bigger. And I don't know what the market's like in your respective cities, But it's crazy here. And I got like thrown into this scarcity urgency speak, You know, Talking about like ego being like, You got to put an offer. You got to. And I just got so triggered the last week. Like perpetually triggered, Like the lowest, You know, Energy of like, Have to do it. And the market is so strange here that you have to show all your tax records. You have to show three months of all your transactions in your bank, Which is so intrusive. You got to show your credit score and like my all that stuff is awesome. You know, The big thing hurting us is I'm an entrepreneur and they don't like that because the income, Even though it's got bigger and bigger, It's just like it's not consistent. And so I'm like, Wow, Man, This is the most I've made. It's doubled since last year and they don't like that. And they're like, No, That's not consistent. And so they're like, People are like, Put 12 months up front. Put six months up front, Put four months up front, That's like. Tens of thousands of dollars. And so. It's been incredibly like, I just felt really small. I felt like. . . Embarrassed to be an entrepreneur, Embarrassed to be following my dreams. And. . . Last night in the third negotiation of this place that we're excited about they came back with like we need four months up front Oh, You didn't say that when we met you. And some things just like shifted where I realized I was in it. And I was like, Let's just zoom out for a second. And see that where we live now and see that there's actually no urgency. And see that like the thing we're struggling with is to get a home in this incredible neighborhood. Like that's our big, You know, I was just able to like zoom out. And remember that we're not going to get bullied. Remember that we're not going to get forced into something. Remember that we don't have to do anything. You know, We have that incredible honor and privilege to like not be in a rush. And just realize how much of my power I was choosing to give away when I was like dialed into that teeny tiny perspective. And when I was able to see it through my soul being like, You're on planet Earth. This is amazing. You live in this incredible country in the city that's free. You're trying to upgrade your place to this other. You know, I was like, Yo, Calm down. Calm down, Things are actually. Okay, They're more than okay. They're awesome and you're forgetting. Who you are and the support you have. How far you've come, You know? And so it was just like, There's my practice this morning of like, I'm surrendering. I'm okay. I'm with God. God's got us. And I don't need to figure it out and force it and play this strange power dynamic game between like renter and and landlord. And uh. . . Yeah, It was just a helpful reminder for me to be like, Zoom out D. There's so much awesome happening here and there's nothing that you have to do. Come to Vancouver. The market is better here. I know, Right? It's basically better everywhere. I thought about it. Listen. What did you say, Lou? I was gonna say that for places, Like I think that's. . . Another way that I've definitely surrendered. And I think that trusting that you, Just like you're in this, Your place that you're in right now and how much it's been for you, Like trusting that if it's really a lot of resistance and getting the place, Especially like a physical place, And maybe there's, There is a better place for you and your family that's actually being worked out right now by, You know, In that timing is going to find itself when it's like, You're going to know, And it's going to be, It's going to be a little bit more, There might be some energy, Uh, Expelling for sure, And there might be some resistance, But if you're coming up against resistance after resistance and it's feeling heavy, I don't know, I just know in my experience that that kind of stuff has been, We had a place that we were supposed to get when we moved out here, And for a reason, A stupid reason, Why they didn't rent to us, And we were so disappointed. We're like, This place is amazing. And then looking back after moving out here and not getting that place and being out of rental for a little while, Little while and then moving to a place where I'm now, I'm like, I'm so grateful. We didn't get that place. Like so thankful. Like it was, It would have been so many reasons why that would have been worse off than where we're at now. And I'm so grateful for where I'm at now. So I don't know if that's stuff I just find. Just find trusting that there's a reason for place, Just as there's a reason for what we're doing and how that impacts our purpose and our mission. So for what it's worth, Blessings to you on that journey, Brother. I'll see you there Yeah, I appreciate it. The thing that's been helping, This is going to sound weird. You know how things are connected like is that I think the reason I'm getting so triggered is it reminds me of back in the day and like dating apps. And you're like, I felt a connection with this person, But why aren't they calling back? Oh, They're probably talking to other people. And you're like, I thought there was a thing here, But it's not working out. And I said that to my wife and I was like. This feels good because all those moments where things didn't work out made space for you to show up in my life. You know, So my my. My Lillian is out there. My wife is that that version of that house is out there. And I need to remember that perspective that. You know, And that definitely won me some brownie points with her. It's wild how it feels connected to that. It's just this notion of not being good enough. You know, Getting rejected, Having someone look at all your information and then be like, No. You know, And it's like not taking that too personally and remembering kind of what you said, Lou, Right? If it's not meant to be, Then there's something else. Better around the corner. And did you find, I know you were friends before for a while, I think, But like, Did you find Lillian in a romantic way? Like, Was that a? Unexpected like the way that it happened. It was incredibly unexpected. Yeah, It was like I know lots of people like I'm best friends with my partner like we were actually best friends for six years. We knew each other for like seven years, Probably like six to five years. We were like just best friends. She had a person. I had a person, You know, Like. And then we didn't have people like. Have you been here the whole time? Wild. Yeah, It's interesting to think of it as it relates to this process, But like the challenges you can't. Force that or contrive it like, Okay, Now I'm open to finding. Lillian in house form, But like, Like you can't do that. It just says to like find you. Yeah. Yeah. And. This isn't the place for buying. So maybe I date someone that I learn and grow through for a year or two. And then in three years, Two years, I find my Lillian home. Hilarious. All right, Gentlemen, That I think is our time. I said I think is our time because it's just over an hour. I know we said we might go less but I really enjoyed this conversation. It was different. We talked about letting the shape be the shape. You know, I don't think I expected us to get into these more intimate, Personal places, But it's a place I love hanging out. So thank you all for being here. Excuse me. And um. . . Any ideas or anything you want to say before we close? I just think it's probably. . . Worthy of Ending and just sharing know if this is your audience and and you're newer to any of us to explore Sakib, Charles, My work calls to you on Insight Timer, Anything resonated for what you shared to check out yeah what we're doing too and it's it's really cool to be all i think what's cool about us and what i find in the group it's almost not like we're, It's not competitive, But it's in, It's like creatively inspiring, Like someone's putting something out and it's like matching or doing our own version of that. And so, Yeah, Just encourage you to check out at least some of these, Not just plugging myself, But some like Sakev and Charles for, You know, Their work too, If you're, If you're not tapped into them. Yeah, I hope Insight Timer will, They probably won't let us put links in the description, But we'll put each person's name and please. Look, Look into them, Some incredible content courses and, And. Stuff outside of this awesome platform as well. There's a 90% chance if you're on Inside Time where Charles is just live, So you can just see him there hanging out. Charles, I'm in your place now and you are in my place. I used to do three lives a week. I'm down to two now. Yeah, We might have to crown a new goat. It was the inside timer live greatest of all time and maybe that the torch is passing All right, I'm gonna wrap this. Thank you for. . . Watching, Listening, Experiencing with us. If you have any questions, I don't think you'll be able to jot them down and you can maybe share a content or a comment and we will see you next time.