Transform "Failure" Into Power

My 5-step process to help you stop retreating and start using failure as fuel.

For a long time, failure felt incredibly personal. It made me second-guess myself, hold back, and put too much pressure on every step.

Over time, I found a gentler and more powerful way to work with it.

Holding back because you’re afraid of getting it wrong, being judged, or putting your heart into something that might not work? This lesson will help you transform your relationship with failure.

Journaling Prompts:
Write a letter to the part of you that still believes failure means something is wrong with you.

How old is that part of you?
What was happening in their world when they first learned it might not be safe to get it wrong?
What does that part of you need from you today?
Where did it learn to be so careful, guarded, and afraid to make a mistake?
What might soften if you met that part of yourself with more compassion, patience, and love?

Transcript

Hello beautiful human, My name is Darius, This is the Artist Morning Podcast, And I am so grateful you and I get this time together. Today's topic is one that most of the time I think we want to avoid, Partially because that's what we've been told. We're talking about failure, We're talking about how you feel, What your beliefs are, How you process failure. Now our families, Our societies, Our cultures have told us don't talk about that stuff, That's embarrassing, Let it go, Move on. We don't want to talk about failure because it hurts, And I am here to provide a different perspective that one of the greatest opportunities for creators is to turn failure, Particularly fear of failure, From one of the hardest, Most difficult things to deal with to a superpower, To the thing that's going to differentiate you and everyone else in your field. Three questions, Three questions that will illuminate so much opportunity. Three questions that maybe you've never answered before. Question number one, How do you feel about failure? Not how you think about it, But how do you feel about it, What comes up for you? Becoming familiar with that, No right or wrong answers. Question number two, What are your beliefs about failure? Beliefs about failure, What do you mean? Failure sucks. I don't sit around believing about failure, Darius, What are you talking about exactly? Huge opportunity, Huge opportunity. And question number three, Do you have a system to process, To integrate, To gain gold from your failure? And so let's just take a moment. Yes, We've been told failure sucks. Feel it, Feel it. What do you feel? What do you feel? When I say, How do you feel about failure? How do you feel about failure? It's okay to feel multiple things as well. If I'm honest, When I feel failure, I get, There's a nervous sense in my heart, It's challenging, I'm a little scared. And I'm excited. I'm excited. I feel alive. I feel tingly. I feel like something amazing is about to happen here. Now, Most people don't feel that second piece. I've worked on it and I'm going to show you how I've managed to take it from the scariest thing, This thing that actually kept me small and shy and muted and out of the arena, The arena of creativity and expression. And I did a full 180 and converted it in trends, Muted it into a superpower. And when we do that, We get access to more courage. We get access to more power. We get access to more creative expression, Writing, Sharing, Creating, Launching. And so I've been doing this for 20 plus years and people ask me, They're like, Yeah, Well, I guess you don't feel fear. Like, You know, Consistency is not a big deal for, You know, I look at them like, What are you talking about? Of course, I feel fear. Of course, Consistency is an ongoing thing is don't take that for granted. But I've created a system that has helped me get through that because I think people don't understand how nervous and insecure and uncertain, Scattered I was. And so all the stuff I've created was a survival guide for myself, First and foremost. And so how did I move from this really scary thing to this? Oh, My God, I'm so excited. An opportunity to fully feel alive and express thing. Question two is the answer to that. Question two was, What are your beliefs about failure? Maybe no one's ever asked you that. Take a moment to think about it. What do you believe about failure? And more than what you're going to say with your mouth now, What have your actions demonstrated to be your beliefs about failure? And so I'm going to try to do this in a non-visual way because it's an audio podcast. But just imagine a pyramid. I call this a belief pyramid. The bottom, The foundation is your beliefs. Your beliefs inform the next level, Your identity. Your identity informs the next level, Your actions. Your actions inform the next level, Your outcomes. And your outcomes inform the top of the pyramid, Your dreams. So if you're building this beautiful pyramid with your dreams at the top of the pyramid, How high you can build all depends on the foundation, The bedrock, Your beliefs. And so this is a huge opportunity for creators to upgrade their dreams, Upgrade their possibilities, Upgrade what's possible for you and your expression in the world. And so I went from this place of, Oh man, The truth, The truth, Truth, Truth, Is when I did the deep, Deep work and went all the way back, I discovered that there was this projection from a young child self that when I failed, The love went away. Hurts my heart saying that still, I feel it. It's a longer story we won't get into now, But something happened just like all of us in my childhood. And I made the mistake of building a belief unconsciously that started to impact massively my adult life. When I quote unquote fail, The love goes away and I'm not lovable. Can you feel that? I can still feel that. When I fail, I'm not lovable. That is a foundation that will significantly limit my pyramid, My creative dreams at the top of the pyramid. I remember when I really solidified this new belief, Rick Rubin, The incredible music producer, Creator, Spiritual teacher, Wrote this book, The Creative Act. I remember opening one of the pages and it was completely empty except for three lines and the lines read, Failure is the information you need to get to where you're going. Failure is the information you need to get to where you're going. Where we're going is the top of the pyramid. Where we're going is the highest weakened sore, Our thriving creative self. And so failure, This thing that everyone has told us to ignore, Became the essential piece to help me get to where I'm going. And in that moment, I relived all of my failures. And it was like this whole world changed in a moment because this energy I felt of like, Damn, I didn't do that thing. And that thing didn't go the way I expected. And, Oh man, I'm just not good enough. And I didn't get the love and I'm not lovable. It all went to, Oh my God, I have a competitive advantage. I failed more than everyone else. Almost everyone else I know, I failed more than them. And all this time I was carrying the weight of I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not lovable enough. And now with this fresh new belief, I've alchemized that energy. And now I see it as, Dang, I have more information than the rest of the people who sat on the sidelines watching. Every single one of those quote unquote failures taught me something. They were stepping stones. They were emotional resilience. They were pieces of the puzzle that I couldn't fully understand. But now looking backwards, I can connect all the dots. And that opened my capacity for failure. It allowed me to step in, To get messy, To play, To experiment, To explore, To give myself permission to fail. And so question number one, How do you feel about failure? Question number two, What are your beliefs about failure? Question number three, Do you have a system, A supportive system to mine the gold from the failure? Now that piece we're going to leave for another day on another podcast. But for now, We're going to get into our meditation. Now, Of course, Part one always gets you into your head. We need our heads. Our heads are incredible. They're so smart. And now we're going to take a few deep breaths and intentionally step into our heart space. Nice and slowly here. If it's available to you, Closing your eyes. As we go inwards together. Taking long, Deep breaths. Bringing that new energy from your inhale, Breathing it into your heart. Hello, Dear heart. Hello, Old friend. I'm sending gratitude to your heart. Thank you, Heart. Thank you for how much you care. Thank you for how sensitive you are, How compassionate you are. Our practice today is to be in the energy of unconditional love. Unconditional love for you, Your heart, And all of your past selves. No matter what you've been through, No matter what you've done or have not done. We are sending love, So much love. We are blasting this incredible love energy back through time, Back through space. To all versions of you. You did the best you could with what you had. And if no one's told you, Let me be the first. Good job. Well done. You made it. You got here. Whatever you've had to go through, However many successes or failures, You got here now. Let's take that in. The resilience it takes to make it through every single one of your hardest days. Some things worked out. Some things didn't go the way you had expected. Failure is the information you need to get to where you're going. All of it, A stepping stone to help you get to the top of that pyramid, To your dreams. Take a nice deep breath here. Big exhale out. Of all past stories, All past narratives that are no longer supportive. Letting go of any unneeded weight around projects, Relationships, Relationships, Not going the way you had expected. Beginning to see the connection. Beginning to see that none of it was happening to you. It was happening for you. Happening for you, For your highest good, For your thriving creative self. Failure is the information you needed to get to where you're going. And you, Dear artist, Are going to the top of this incredible pyramid. I am not afraid to fail. I am not afraid to make mistakes. I am not afraid to put myself out there. I am not afraid to fail. I am not afraid to make mistakes. I am not afraid to put myself and my work in the hands of others. Out there. This is our last song. I want to invite you to place one or two hands on your heart. And we're just going to take a moment to love ourselves. Love our hearts. Love all our past selves. Thank you for getting us here. Thank you for everything you've done. Feeling the energy of unconditional love. Being in the energy, The incredible energy of no matter what you do. I will love you forever and always. You bring that energy to yourself. No matter what you do. No matter how your projects, Your art, Your creativity goes. I will love you forever and always. Bravo, Dear artist. You made it to the end of our meditation. You made it to the end of part one and two of our podcast. Now, Before we close, I want to say this. This essence, This energy of unconditional love. In an ideal world, It's what we would have all experienced from our families, From our parents. And for many of us, Perhaps most of us, That's not what we experienced. And so there is no time machine to go back. And that's not the point. What can happen from here is we sit in the seat of our soul in that higher self place. And we give ourselves that unconditional love. We give our younger selves, Our creator selves, Our past selves, That unconditional love that we were seeking. It's available to us always. So thank you for opening your heart. Thank you for opening your mind. Thank you for being in the energy of light and love. Our world is going through a moment, A big moment. I firmly believe what we need is more creators with their hearts open, Sharing their light. Thank you once again for meditating with me, For podcasting with me. You're ready for part three. It'll be in the description below. My name is Darius, And I'll see you next time.

Reviews

Thank you 🙏🏻