Forgive Yourself First: 5-Minute Practice

We’re quick to forgive others but hardest on ourselves. Dana shares a writing practice and a modern metaphor — clearing your browser history — to show how self-forgiveness helps you move forward with more lightness. A story she believes now and hopes younger listeners learn sooner: you don’t have to carry every mistake with you. Change doesn’t mean starting over or following a big philosophy. It can be as simple as learning something new about yourself… and choosing one small step forward.

Transcript

We forgive others all the time,

But when it comes to forgiving ourselves,

That is the hardest part.

Today I'm talking about forgiveness,

Like clearing your browser history on your computer.

Forgiveness is not erasing everything about yourself,

It's a refresh and a letting go.

Hi,

I'm Dana Mitchell and today we're gonna spend a few minutes talking about forgiveness.

And I'm gonna share a practice with you that I do pretty much every day that helps me feel a little bit lighter as I move through my day.

When things don't go right,

That inner critic,

That voice that piles on in your head,

Says things to you like,

You should have done better.

Why can't you figure this out?

Really?

Again?

The guilt piles up heavier than the mistake itself.

So I want to share with you a practice that I use for myself.

So grab a piece of paper,

An old receipt,

Or anything you can jot a note on.

And if you need to pause the recording,

That's fine,

Just come back when you can.

Next,

I want you to set a timer for five minutes and write on the top of your paper,

Write this sentence,

I forgive myself for judging myself for.

And I'll say it again,

I forgive myself for judging myself for.

And I want you to write down anything that comes to mind.

It could be sentences,

Big,

Small issues,

It could be pictures,

Whatever feels right to you.

Nobody's going to read this,

This is your note.

I forgive myself for judging myself for,

Examples could be,

Not folding the laundry,

Snapping at my partner,

Yelling at my kids,

Feeling tired,

Eating that cake yesterday,

Anything that comes to mind,

Write it down.

Again,

I forgive myself for judging myself for.

Now,

I know it feels awkward when you get started doing this,

And it's that critic in your head that talks to you about why are you doing this,

You're not doing a good job.

So you got to push through that.

We've talked about that critic before in some of my other chats with you.

Ignore that critic in your head,

And the more you do this,

The easier this becomes.

So why does this work?

It's like clearing your browser history on your computer.

All those old tabs are running in the background,

And you're shutting them down.

Forgiveness is a refresh.

It's not erasing,

But it's releasing.

So here's a question for you,

Especially if you're feeling hesitant about doing this process.

If you try the exercise right now,

What would be the very first sentence you would write down?

Say it out loud.

Okay,

See?

You're rolling now.

You've gotten it started.

Getting started with anything is the hardest part.

So next,

Try setting a timer and going a little further with this.

Eventually,

You will find that you start to do this process automatically throughout your day,

And then you begin to release and let go and forgive yourself.

Forgiveness isn't about excusing.

It's about releasing,

And release makes you feel lighter.

So today,

Let yourself off the hook,

Even if it is for something small,

And thank you for being here with me.

Please check back into my profile.

I have a few more of these talks,

And I'm going to continue to record them and send them out for you to listen to.

I hope you have a great day.