Movement Outside Of Weight Loss

Movement can be an amazing part of your self-love journey and a way that you can learn to appreciate and connect with your body in a whole new way!

But - a common struggle can be separating out the value of movement or exercise from weight loss or trying to “fix” your body. In this workshop, we talk about movement outside of weight loss. I share my strategies on how you can start to redefine and re-conceptualize the role that fitness, exercise, and movement have in your life.

Transcript

So this is Movement Outside of Weight Loss.

Today,

We're gonna be talking about movement,

Which,

At least in my experience,

Is an amazing part of the self-love and undieting journey and a way that you can learn how to appreciate and connect with your body in new ways.

But a common struggle,

Especially as you're doing the undieting work,

Is learning how to separate movement from weight loss or the ideas of fixing your body or trying to change your body's size.

So today,

We're gonna talk about movement outside of weight loss.

I'm going to share my strategies and on how you can start to redefine and reconceptualize the role that fitness,

Exercise,

And movement has in your life.

So if we haven't officially met yet,

Hello.

My name is Courtney Choia.

I am an A-certified group fitness instructor,

Body image,

And mindset coach,

And I am the proud owner of Laya Buffett,

Which stands for Love Your Body.

It's an online wellness community where we explore joyful movement,

And I'm so psyched to be an expert in the Undiet Your Mind website app.

My passion,

As I said,

Is showing women how to break through the cycle of shame,

To discover radical body acceptance,

Building confidence through joyful movement,

And making their own rules for success,

Both inside and outside of the gym.

So let's dive in.

We're gonna cover three topics today.

The first is difference between joyful movement and traditional exercise.

We're also gonna talk about the science around shame,

So AKA why you feel stuck,

And what the research says about why focusing on weight loss doesn't work,

Especially from a motivation lens,

When we're talking about wanting to feel motivated when it comes to movement and exercise.

And third,

The important part is strategies to change.

So I'm gonna share with you what this actually looks like in your life,

How to boost motivation,

How to measure progress,

And tap into joy.

Let's dive in and start with what's joyful movement and how does it differ from traditional exercise.

So this is a little like did you know that the average woman spends 12 hours and four minutes a week worrying about how she looks.

And the research shows that you're more likely to avoid exercise if you feel shame or stigma about your body.

So diet culture really tells us that you need to exercise in order to either lose or maintain your body weight.

It is not meant to be enjoyable.

It's meant to be hard work.

You have to sweat.

You have to do it for long periods of time and ensure that you are burning enough calories.

And when we think about exercising or moving our body as adults,

The options that we're presented with as acceptable types of movement are usually quite limited.

The ones that probably come to mind when you think about exercise are things like running on the treadmill,

Hitting up the elliptical,

Maybe going to a spin class,

Lifting weights in the gyms,

Using machines,

Maybe yoga and stretching or walking and running.

But as a whole,

The fitness world is quite exclusionary.

If we don't look a certain way,

Usually meaning if you're not white,

Young,

Cisgender with high quality matching expensive yoga gear,

You feel like an outsider.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of room for beginners.

You can feel judged or unwelcome if you don't already know what you're doing.

And it creates this interesting dilemma because diet culture tells us that movement is crucial for losing weight and yet it shames individuals in larger bodies,

Making them feel unwelcome and out of place.

The only ways to measure progress and success is by the numbers.

How much you weigh,

The amount of fat on your body,

The fat percentage,

The amount of weight in total,

The inches that you've lost and the number and size on your clothes.

So I would love to know if anyone has ever felt like this.

If anyone has ever felt excluded from the fitness industry or maybe even like a fitness class.

If you've ever felt shame or pressure to work out a certain way,

An embarrassment if you couldn't do it or you didn't enjoy the experience if you couldn't do it,

I would love to hear from you.

And dual purpose,

I want to reassure you that you are 100% not alone in this.

Even as a fitness instructor,

I still find myself feeling this way in certain fitness spaces or in certain classes.

It's so common you're not alone and I hear it from clients in my community all the time.

Yeah,

Jenna says definitely,

For sure.

It's something that,

It's why so many of us feel uncomfortable or awkward or avoid fitness and exercise altogether.

Gyms are so commonly known as and seem to be as intimidating that it has its own term,

Gymtimidation.

So it's a thing,

For sure.

So when we think of this kind of traditional exercise,

Fun workouts or activities that are outside of the norm are considered a waste of time.

Efficiency and results matter more than anything else,

Especially when we're talking about juggling our busy schedule and trying to make time to do it.

So in fact,

When I first started teaching Zumba,

People would often make fun that it was like a fluff class,

It wasn't a real workout,

And didn't think it was worth their time.

So it's no wonder that so many of us struggle when it comes to motivation and consistency because when it's something that we have to check off a list to be happy,

When it's something that we feel like we have to force ourselves to do,

Of course there's not gonna be that kind of intrinsic,

Internal motivation when we're doing it because our body is broken.

That's the root belief,

That our body is broken and then you fix it by punishing it with a demanding workout,

By sweating and powering it into a certain shape.

Anything outside of that is a waste of time.

So this is where joyful movement comes in and here's how it differs from this traditional paradigm of exercise.

Joyful movement is movement that makes you feel good and brings you joy.

It doesn't necessarily have any other specific purpose other than making you and your body feel good.

Doesn't matter how many calories you burn,

Doesn't matter what level of weights you lift,

Or how sweaty you get,

We use these questions to determine whether movement or a workout was good or successful.

Questions like,

Do you feel better than before you started?

Did you have fun?

Did you enjoy yourself?

Did you spend time connecting with your body?

Did you honor your body's needs?

And if those answers are yes,

Then it was a successful and worthwhile time moving your body.

And this can go hand in hand with the other term that you see on screen,

Which is intentional movement.

And this is complementary and very closely related to joyful movement,

But I think it's important to highlight the difference.

Intentional movement is all about being present in the moment by incorporating mindfulness into your movement and an awareness into your body.

It means being intentional and making very conscious decisions about how you use your time and what kinds of movements you choose.

It's all about connecting with your body's needs and seeing movement as an opportunity to spend time with your body,

To trust and listen to your body,

And to really think about what you're physically and mentally experiencing.

So something can be joyful without intentional,

Without being intentional necessarily.

But yes,

I see in the chat,

Yeah,

A combo of them is like,

It's the piece de resistance.

It's magic.

So what I love specifically about both of these types of movements is that it also really creates the space to incorporate different types of movement depending on how you and your body feels on any given day.

And this is really important for women because we have,

Many of us have menstrual cycles,

Right,

Where our hormones are going to fluctuate.

We are gonna feel differently so we can give ourselves the grace and permission to really listen to our bodies and needs.

So both of these are really rooted in the belief that all movement is good movement,

That there's no type of movement that has to look a specific way for it to have value.

So embracing this mindset around movement is a really important part of healing your relationship with your body because it's based on the language of body trust,

All right?

It requires you to redefine and create for yourself your own vision of success,

Your own vision of what it means to be healthy and what it means to have wellness.

It's about seeing movement and exercise as an act of love for your body,

An opportunity to have fun,

To feel good,

And connect.

Now,

When it comes though to feeling motivated to move and exercise,

Many of you want to see progress and results,

Right?

We wanna feel like it's doing something for us and it's actually something that I got some really great feedback when we were in the Undyette Your Mind app of like,

Okay,

This all sounds great,

Courtney,

But what's the point?

If I'm not doing it with these specific numbers or body shapes in mind,

What's the point and how can I kinda like convince myself to do it?

So that brings me to my next kind of section.

I wanna explain what the science says.

So I'm gonna share with you strategies for boosting motivation that are not focused on weight loss,

But first we need to understand why it's so important to step out of this paradigm.

So this is the shame cycle,

All right?

I'm gonna bet that all of you have experienced,

I know I've experienced it in my life,

I bet all of you have been there too.

So it usually starts with feeling badly about your body.

You've gained weight,

Someone makes a comment,

Your clothes don't fit well,

You might physically not feel your best,

The doctor might prescribe weight loss.

Whatever it is,

You believe that losing weight is the answer to feeling better.

It's the answer to your problem.

So what does diet culture tell us to do?

You work out more,

You eat less,

We feel this internal desire or pressure to lose weight.

We feel a spike in motivation.

Often this occurs with signing up for the new gym,

Getting the new membership,

Trying out the new diet,

Committing to a ton of classes,

Signing up for personal training,

Whatever it is,

And we feel excited,

We feel that surge of hope.

We believe that this time will be different,

And usually it is,

And we do commit for a little while,

But then the feelings of shame start to creep in.

Life happens,

You have a negative experience.

Maybe it's feeling excluded,

The only larger body in a class.

Maybe it's somebody who makes a comment about burning calories and you don't feel included.

Maybe you don't know how to move the machines,

Or you don't feel like you can keep up in class,

You hurt yourself,

Or you don't see results immediately.

So your motivation drops.

You avoid working out because it doesn't feel good,

Because it's now associated with these negative feelings,

And diet culture tells you that it's your fault.

It tells you that it's your fault because you don't have the willpower,

Or the determination,

Or the dedication,

Or it's because you're lazy,

Or again,

That word fat often comes up as like that's the negative thing that's happening,

So you withdraw.

You revert to old habits,

That makes you feel worse,

And the cycle starts over.

And once again,

When you feel badly about your body.

Yeah,

And expecting immediate results is so hard to let go of.

How many of us think,

You know,

I've done this for X number of weeks,

Or X number of months,

And I don't look any different,

Therefore it's a waste of time.

So the research is really,

Really clear when it comes to the shame cycle.

That focusing on how you look,

Or weight loss,

Does not work from a consistency or motivation perspective.

It does not make us feel good in our bodies,

And it actually doesn't get us the results that we want.

One of the strongest predictors of whether a person will gain weight in the future is whether that person has dieted in the recent past.

So if a person has tried a diet recently,

That factor alone makes them more likely to gain weight.

A study out of Smith College found that those who exercise for weight and appearance-based reasons exercise less consistently and reported more symptoms of eating disorders and depression.

You might be saying,

Well,

If all this is true,

If this is what the science and research says,

Then why doesn't the fitness industry change to keep up with the science?

And the reality is that the global market value of the fitness industry is over $87 billion.

They make money when you blame yourself,

Because that means you're gonna keep buying solutions from other people,

You're gonna keep trying the new diets that don't work,

You're gonna keep spending money on gyms and fitness programs that you never use.

So let's,

Oh,

I missed a slide.

So that's why,

It's money.

Money is the reason that the fitness industry keeps pushing this paradigm.

So let's talk about three ways that you can set goals,

Measure progress,

And define success for yourself without worrying about weight loss.

All right,

So this is really answering that question,

What does movement outside of weight loss look like?

So these are my three strategies.

This is the magic for today,

All right?

So number one,

It's about creating ability-based goals.

You can do this by looking at areas in your life where you want to experience an increase in functionality,

Physical ability,

Or mental strength.

An ability-based goal focuses on what you can do now,

And then creates a target based on what you would like to be able to do in the future.

So I wanted to provide some examples of goals that I often see in my layover community,

Ones like I wanna be able to do 10 pushups on my toes by the end of this year,

I wanna feel comfortable wearing a bikini or a two-piece swimsuit to the beach with my kids,

I would like to be able to climb the steps up to my apartment without getting out of breath,

I wanna attend a fitness class in my sports bra,

I wanna be able to get up and down from the floor so I can play with my grandkids.

So that is all examples of ability-based goals,

So focusing on what you want to be able to do in your life.

The second one is asking questions,

All right?

Asking questions,

What does your body actually need?

And this is the idea of working in versus working out.

So working in are those times when we want movement to help us fill our cup.

So these are times when gentle movement might be a little bit more what we're craving,

Meditation,

Gentle strength,

Versus working out where often we want to,

Yes,

Working in is super important because especially as somebody with anxiety and as somebody who often gets stressed and overwhelmed,

Physical movement creates stress in the body,

Right?

It creates cortisol in the body and that can be a really good thing.

So that's the idea of working out,

Those times when you have excess energy,

You gotta burn it off,

And I feel like that sometimes when I have anxiety and I'm like,

I'm too much in my head,

I just gotta get it out and into my body.

I gotta lift something heavy,

I gotta run really hard,

And that's gonna feel good.

However,

If you struggle with anxiety and overwhelm,

Sometimes a spike in cortisol will just increase the amount of overwhelm.

It will increase the stress that you feel in your body,

And if we learn how to ask questions and listen to what our body is telling us,

We can choose what movement would make us feel the best and again,

Honor our body's needs.

And that becomes an easier choice,

Again,

Once you've accepted the science and accepted this paradigm that like,

All movement is good movement.

Getting super sweaty and lifting really heavy isn't inherently better or more morally superior to lying on my mat,

Feeling the feelings,

And doing some gentle stretches.

Both of those have value,

And one may be better than the other depending on what's happening in my body and how I'm defining success in this time in my life,

In that day,

Based on what my visions for what health and wellness looks like for me.

So some questions that you can ask,

Again,

Are you feeling stressed?

That can be a great question to start with.

Am I feeling stressed?

What does my body need?

Focusing on how you feel after movement.

That's gonna give you a lot of cues as to how the role that movement has in your life and how it makes you feel.

And we can,

I often,

When I talk about motivation,

We wanna focus on the after because even as somebody who does this for a living,

I work out many,

Many hours every day,

All day,

Seven days a week,

I still have times when I'm like,

Ugh,

I just wanna lie on my couch.

So often instead of focusing how I feel in the moment,

I'll ask myself how do I want to feel and what role does movement have in me being the person that I wanna be?

And often that makes it easier to be like,

Okay,

I don't wanna be a depressed person,

I don't wanna be an anxious person.

I know that those are the voices that are telling me to stay on the couch versus I know that listening to my body,

Honoring its needs,

Doing the things that I know,

Refill my cup,

Will make me feel better in the long run.

So some more questions,

What does it do for you?

And by it,

I mean what does movement do for you?

How does it improve your life,

Your mood,

Your overall well-being?

How does it fit into your version of healthy?

How does it fit into the goals that you have for your life?

How can it help you achieve them?

How do you wanna define success when it comes to movement?

What does it look like if you make movement choices out of love for your body rather than the traditional way of thinking about it?

And if you feel shame or pressure to lose weight,

Take time to ask questions to explore where those thoughts and beliefs come from.

What are they telling you that you believe about your body?

What are they telling you about what it means to be fit and healthy?

Does that align with who you want to be and how you want to feel?

Does it align,

More importantly,

With how you see other bodies and how you see the world?

So if you believe that all bodies are worthy of respect,

Which they absolutely are,

But you're shaming yourself for being in a larger body,

Does that align or do we need to spend some time examining and reflecting on those thoughts?

Your body,

Your life,

Your rules.

This can also look like giving yourself a little self-love quiz.

And if you want this,

Feel free to reach out to me either on the app or on Instagram.

And you can write down a list of kind of five to eight questions about yourself and your relationship with your body.

You answer them based on how you're feeling right now,

Kind of scale them one to 10,

And you keep answering them kind of at various points to evaluate,

Am I moving forward?

Am I seeing progress?

Am I feeling better?

And I highly recommend doing that,

Pairing it with a journal to kind of reflect on your thoughts.

So a few examples is,

Do I feel confident about which type of movement feel good in my body?

Maybe you're a one now.

Maybe if you keep doing this work in six months,

You'll be a four or a five.

You'll start to know which movements feel good.

In the last six months,

How often have I felt strong and capable in my body?

Maybe right now it's a four,

And you're like,

I wanna feel an eight all the time.

I wanna always feel strong and capable in my body.

So those are some great ways that you can start to use questions as a barometer for measuring progress and staying motivated in your journey.

And my last tip is moving outside of the box.

And maybe you can think of this as the box being the gym,

But the box can also be this,

Again,

Traditional paradigm of movement and exercise.

Throw out your current movement set,

Your movement rules.

All right,

Try new types of movement.

What did you enjoy as a child?

What could that look like as an adult?

Exercise outside of the gym,

Cleaning,

Hikings,

Walking,

Swimming,

Dancing.

It can be unstructured or unchoreographed movement without a plan.

And embracing different.

So this might mean shorter workouts.

So for example,

This became really popular in the pandemic,

Like five minutes,

10 minutes,

15 minutes.

It doesn't have to be a 60 minute,

90 minute workout at the gym.

We can find other ways to make it work for our life.

And aiming really for consistency and variation and including forgiveness and compassion over perfection.

There are gonna be days where movement comes a lot easier and it feels a lot more exciting in days when you just have to be gentle and kind with yourself.

And that's a good thing.

That's what life and normal human bodies look like.

They vary day to day,

Week to week,

Month to month,

Season to season.

And if you feel overwhelmed by these ideas,

Please know,

I wanna make sure,

Am I moving ahead?

No,

Okay.

If you feel overwhelmed by these ideas,

Please know that it's very common to not know exactly what joyful movement means to you or to have a clear vision of what you want it to look like in your life.

Because so many of us have been operating under this traditional paradigm and this traditional definition of movement for so long,

If not for our entire lives.

So we haven't really had an opportunity to explore.

We haven't had an opportunity to play.

We haven't had an opportunity to trial and experiment and have fun with what this could look like.

So please keep an open mind and know that it's okay to have a period of kind of exploration and trial and error as you figure out what this might look like for you.

So try to have fun with it.

Take the pressure off of yourself to achieve any specific set of results.

Your goal is just to learn more about yourself,

To discover more about your body,

To feel connected and hopefully to get moving.

So I know that you can do this.

I'm always here to help.

There's a ton of other anti-diet and body positive fitness professionals in the app as well that I know will be there to support you in your journey.

So I wanted to make sure to open it up to ask some questions,

To see if you wanted to share what change can you start implementing,

How will you start,

When will you start?

And let me know if there's anything that you want to dive in a little bit deeper into.

Went rock climbing when trying to figure out what I liked.

It was truly horrible.

Yep,

I've had moments like that too where I'm like this is not my thing,

But I always look at those things as a win of like if you try something and you hate it,

You go great.

That's more information that I can use for next time.

So for example,

Like I did three levels of pole fitness.

Am I going to be a professional pole dancer anytime soon?

Absolutely not.

Turns out I'm terrified of going upside down.

But it was a blast.

And I absolutely felt stronger from trying it.

Started playing pickleball.

I just learned about this pickleball thing like three years ago.

I haven't tried it yet,

But it's on my list.

And no longer an old person sport.

Exactly right,

Because old person sport,

That's old set of rules.

We can do whatever we want,

Whenever we want in our lives.

And if you love it,

That's all that matters.

Yeah,

Okay,

Jenna,

You and me,

We're gonna set a goal to try pickleball.

And we'll come back and report to everybody.

I know that they used to set up for it right after one of my classes in one of the community centers I taught.

And like for weeks I was looking at them and like,

What is this?

What are you setting up?

Tell me more.

So one of the things that I struggle with is the inner monologue about exercise and movement.

And like,

Am I questioning,

Am I lying to myself?

So I'll give you an example.

Okay.

I want to exercise and move my body because I want my body to feel stronger,

Flexible,

That sort of thing.

But then knowing that little thing in the back of my head saying,

But sometimes stronger bodies means leaner bodies,

Thinner bodies,

Smaller body.

And so I just,

I worry about like,

Am I saying these things to myself,

But really what's behind it is the unhealthy thought,

If that makes sense.

Yeah,

It totally makes sense.

And I'm really glad you brought this up,

Lauren.

So thank you.

And know that that's,

And I feel like Jenna,

Feel free to jump in in the chat too,

Is as someone else who does this kind of work.

It's very,

Very hard to make that thought go away,

Period.

Like even,

Again,

Even as somebody,

I'm fully immersed,

Like I've drank the Kool-Aid,

I've done this work.

This is all I do.

I still have those voices sometimes.

I still have those voices come in.

And that's because like,

It's just deep,

Deep,

Deep programming,

Right?

So I often,

I'll share a few different strategies.

One of them I often tell myself is,

The first thought doesn't have to be the true thought.

The first thought doesn't matter as much as the second thought.

So the fact that you're aware of it,

The fact that you're aware that that voice is there,

And you're already showing up to do one of my strategies,

So kudos for you,

Which is ask questions,

That's huge.

That's huge.

And then we can say,

Okay,

Where's that voice coming from?

What's that voice trying to tell me?

And the more that you can kind of be friends with that voice and understand it,

And there still might be something there to heal,

The less that you,

The more that you can trust second voice,

Or the primary voice,

I'd say,

What's your voice,

And know that even when I have,

I'll give an example of what this looks like in my journey.

So I still will have those thoughts sometimes.

So over COVID,

I'm on new meds.

I'm definitely in a larger body now compared to,

Even when I first started becoming a fitness professional,

I definitely was still very much steeped in diet culture and really,

Really did it for weight loss.

So anytime I have those things creep up,

I've even,

You know,

Of I'm in a larger body,

Am I doing something wrong,

Am I worthy as a fitness professional,

I come back to those,

To often I ask myself kind of some of the questions that I shared of,

Does this align with my values?

And is this,

You know,

Is this my voice?

Is this my story?

And oftentimes the answer is no.

And I come back to what I know,

Which is even for example,

That strong and capable,

I know that I can feel strong and capable in my body,

And that's not dependent on my weight.

And so I just keep having that dialogue with myself.

And when you're in the process of working out,

It can really help to keep asking yourself what you feel,

Because you'll know if that other voice starts to take over because you'll hate it,

You'll hate the experience,

Right?

Like you'll get into that mindset of like,

This is terrible,

But I have to keep going,

Right?

Right,

Yeah.

If you're staying in the zone of my goal,

My purpose,

My definition of success,

Even to use your own words,

Is to feel strong and capable,

Am I staying true to that?

And what does that look like?

So for example,

Is it strong to take breaks?

I would argue absolutely.

Right,

That can be a hard thing.

So I would say it does take a lot of strength to be gentle with things,

To have control,

To show up and be present,

To honor those needs.

So keep exploring,

Keep asking that question and know that it's okay that that voice is there and as long as you keep asking questions and keep exploring,

You'll keep allowing that other voice to get stronger,

Your voice.

That makes a lot of sense and it's a comfort level thing too.

I think there's so much internal discomfort,

Mental discomfort with,

Am I doing this for the wrong reasons?

Am I lying to myself about why I'm doing this?

But if you think about it,

Reflect on it more,

It's genuinely,

I would like to be more flexible and genuinely,

I would like to feel stronger and be able to lift heavy things and open jars and things like that.

Listen,

The opening jars one is real.

I used to always tell people that my biggest motivation for working out was grocery shopping that I need to be able to carry all my bags in one trip.

One trip.

One trip and so when I was lifting weights,

I was like,

Nope,

Gotta go heavier to lift those.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Jenna agrees with us.

Yeah and the other thing I wanted to say is coming back to that idea of self-trust,

Right?

Because it feels like that's part of what keeps coming up,

Right,

Is not trusting yourself that you're in this for the right reasons.

Right.

And that is a really important piece to all of this as well and it's something that we talk about a lot,

Even as body trust,

Right?

The trust that you and your body are in this together,

The trust that your body can do the things that you're desiring it to do so it can carry all the groceries and open all the jars and be super flexible.

And this is where,

Especially as women,

Right,

When we think about what diet culture tells us about our bodies is that they cannot be trusted.

When it comes to food,

Right,

We're gonna eat.

When it comes to movement,

We're gonna be lazy.

And even when it comes to the food,

We're gonna be lazy.

And even when it comes to like sexism,

Right,

We're gonna be emotional.

We're not gonna think clearly.

We're not gonna think logically.

So you've been told this your entire life.

So of course,

There's a voice there that goes,

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know.

You're doing this wrong.

And it can be very powerful to sit with affirmations and do the work of saying,

You know,

What would trusting myself look like?

What would it feel like?

What would my body feel like?

What would that look like?

And that can be a really powerful space to enter into because now we're not talking about,

You know,

Weight loss or strength.

We're talking about that deep sense of knowing.

So.

That's great,

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Yeah,

I also,

Yeah,

It's,

Especially,

And I think this is really,

I mean,

Give yourselves some pats on the back when you're in the room with your twins because this is a great space to be in.

The fact that you're questioning,

Almost like,

Am I undieting good enough?

That's kind of what it means.

It means like you're just wanting to do a good job and you're wanting to do well.

So know that it's okay to have those doubts and,

You know,

Keep talking.

And it does get easier over time,

I promise you.

It's like any muscle.

We gotta build it up,

We gotta practice.

Use,

Like,

Have that voice talk out loud and speak to it the way that you would like to speak to a friend.

Because often when it's in our head,

It feels super real.

And as soon as we involve some kind of other senses,

So hearing it,

Auditory,

Writing it down,

Visualizing it,

Seeing it,

It starts to be easier to challenge it and break it down.

So don't let it just live in your head.

That's part of that asking questions.

Yeah,

Awesome,

Great point from Jenna too.

She says,

I also think that if you're having so much questioning about am I doing this right,

Just shaking it off and taking the action and moving forward is a part of developing those skills.

Absolutely,

It's sitting in the uncomfortable.

And that's where even Lauren,

When I said too,

Is like in the moment.

Keep being present in the moment and asking yourself,

Like,

You're gonna know,

Right?

You're gonna know what joyful movement and intentional movement feels like,

Right?

Because ideally,

Once you're doing it,

I feel like those questions all of a sudden are gone.

Because I know,

For example,

Like when I'm lifting heavy,

All I'm thinking about is being with my body in that moment and it feels hard and it feels challenging and it feels great.

And you know when you cross that line into like,

I'm pushing too hard,

This sucks,

This hurts.

So even being able to tune in to those differences is such a powerful guide of trust your body.

If it feels good,

Keep doing it.

Yeah,

So true.

Not stop.

One thing that you said that I think is,

And I'm not trying to take all the time here,

But one of the things that you said that really makes sense to me is that during COVID when people are like,

Hey,

You know,

I will just work out for five minutes,

10 minutes,

20 minutes,

Like there's a time in life where I thought that was just not worthy of my time.

It wasn't an hour.

And I definitely have done the work now that,

Okay,

If it's a 15 or 20 minute treadmill class that I do on my Peloton and I like it,

Great,

Cool,

That was great,

I had fun,

Let's move on.

But there's still a tiny little voice in the back that's like,

Should I be also then incorporating a 20 minute weight lifting class at the same time?

You know,

Like,

So to Jenna's point in the chat about doing it right,

It's just like,

Doing it is just half the battle I think in making yourself say,

Am I doing it right?

Yeah,

And I mean,

There are times where the answer to that question of should I be doing something else might be yes,

Right?

Like it might be yes,

Like you're like,

I can totally think of times when I'm like,

I'm in a crap mood,

I do need to,

You know,

I might have done six classes in the day,

But I'm still like,

I gotta do something for me right now.

And so pushing that extra amount may be the right decision.

I think as long as you're showing up and asking those questions of like,

How does this feel?

Like even sometimes I'll get challenged in social media,

Right,

And I'll have people say like,

Oh well,

You know,

It's kind of like the pushback with undieting,

Right,

Of like,

Oh,

If I'm giving myself unconditional permission to eat,

It means I'm gonna eat cupcakes for breakfast every day.

People will say something similar with fitness,

Right?

They'll say,

Oh,

If I'm only doing movement that makes me feel good,

That means I'm not like pushing myself towards goals.

Just because I'm using the language of it feels good doesn't also mean that feeling good and being joyful and being intentional doesn't also mean that it can't be extremely challenging,

Right?

Like if you're working towards a goal,

Especially a strength-based goal,

Like I wanna be able to do push-ups on my toes,

That's not gonna feel comfortable.

But ideally,

We have the mindset and we have the,

We've done the work to know why we're showing up,

That it can be both uncomfortable and challenging and still feel good.

So there's a beauty to embracing challenge and knowing that physical challenge and physical discomfort can be what our body needs.

Like I use cold therapy a lot,

Which means I do things like,

People think I'm a little out there,

But I'll do things like I'll go for a walk barefoot in the snow.

I can tell you that that feels terrible for the first like minute.

It feels terrible,

But I also have learned and I have that relationship with my body where I say it feels terrible and uncomfortable because of the fears and things that come up because of the natural body responses.

I know though that there's another side to that where if I breathe through and I stay with it,

Then it starts to feel amazing.

So I know the difference between that sort of challenge versus the sort of challenge where I'm like,

This actually legitimately feels like the worst decision.

It doesn't feel like my body's having fun.

It feels like,

Like I think back to those times where I was like on the verge of puking or I used to repeat bikini in my head as ways to motivate.

I know that that's not what feels good and that's not the same as embracing challenge.

That's ignoring my body.

That's pushing my body down.

That's trying to overcome my body because I don't trust my body because I think I need to be better than that versus leaning into understanding my body,

Understanding why it has limits,

Understanding when I can push past those.

Does that make sense?

Yeah,

It really does.

Yeah,

So keep asking questions and keep trialing and erring because there are times where,

Even as Jenna said,

You might say,

Okay,

I'm gonna show up and do it anyway and you're gonna be like,

Well,

That was not the right idea and that's not a failure.

That's again where we're gonna go,

Okay,

Learned something.

Learned something here.

We'll know this for next time.

Won't be doing that again,

Right?

Won't be doing that again.

Understood,

Message received.

Thank you,

Body.

And I see Caitlin's comment too.

Is there a good way to respond to someone speaking badly about their body or I need to work out more before XYZ?

This is such a great question.

This is such a great question.

I'm trying to remember right now.

I have,

I'm gonna put it,

It's actually on my to-do list today to upload my next thing to Undiet.

I'm gonna upload this.

I have a workshop literally on this.

It's about speaking your truth.

So I'm writing myself a little note.

I'm gonna upload it,

But it's a great question and it really depends on who you're speaking with.

That's the best way to say it.

So is this like a random person that you're seeing at the gym?

Is it your best friend?

Is it your family member?

That will change how I tell you to answer these sorts of comments.

The best way to do this though that kind of covers all situations which I'll share today is shifting the focus.

So I don't necessarily always recommend challenging them.

If somebody says to you,

I need to work out a little more to lose 10 pounds.

It's not necessarily always the best situation to be like,

Let's talk about undieting and joyful movement instead of what you're doing wrong.

That's not necessarily,

We have to make sure that they're ready to do this work and ready to hear it,

Right?

So a nice subtle way that we can do this without sounding preachy is asking them,

So I need to work out more because I wanna lose 10 pounds.

Oh,

And how would losing 10 pounds make you feel?

What sort of movement do you enjoy?

How does your body feel when you do that sort of movement?

And then we're continuing to dialogue with them,

Letting them know that we're a safe space for them to ask different questions or maybe plant some seeds for them to ask different questions.

And hopefully when they're ready,

They can come to us when they maybe wanna explore a different way forward.

And we can also do this by also ignoring the weight loss portion of not engaging with it.

Does that make sense?

Caitlin,

Let me know.

Let me know if that makes sense.

And as I said,

I'll show the workshop where I go into multiple layers of this and help you decipher,

Okay,

Like here's times when we maybe do want that educational piece.

Here's times where we just wanna set a boundary of not talking about it.

Here's where we maybe wanna show them love and support in other ways.

So I'll share that too.

It's a really good one.

It's another one that we gotta practice with.

It's a practice one.

And I still feel like there's,

Jenna,

I feel like you're gonna agree with me here too as somebody who's in this space.

I feel like there are some times where I show up and I say everything that I wanna say and I'm like,

Oh,

That was a great response.

And then there's other times where I'm like,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

And I walk away from an interaction being like,

Oh my God,

I totally blew that.

So be kind with yourself,

Be gentle.

It's not always easy to think of responses in the moment.

It's so nuanced,

Yeah,

It is.

And especially because in my mind,

I try to show up with a lot of compassion and empathy because I know when people are making weight loss comments,

I know when someone's speaking badly about your body,

It's coming from what I've come from,

Right?

It's coming from the hate,

It's coming from the programming,

It's coming from the desire to be loved and be accepted and to feel worthy.

Oftentimes,

They're not saying it maliciously,

They're just at a different point in their journey than me,

Right?

We have to hold space for them and be there when they're ready to do this work.

And that's the best way that we can continue to show up because if we continue,

If we perpetuate that shame cycle where we make them feel ashamed for talking about weight loss,

Where we make them feel ashamed for speaking badly about their body,

That's just gonna keep them stuck.

So while there are times,

Don't get me wrong,

It's important to set boundaries,

It's important to push back,

It's important to have that education,

It is really nuanced.

And especially with the people that we love,

We gotta tread carefully and know that often the best way that we can do it is by modeling,

By modeling and showing them what it can look like to have a different kind of relationship with movement,

A different kind of relationship with their body,

A different kind of relationship with food.

I will talk about this all day and all night,

So if you have any other questions,

Feel free to always let me know,

You can tag me in the app.

And I'm always loving when you ask me questions because it gives me great ideas on resources that I can put up there.

Make sure to check out some of my movement classes in the app if you wanna see what joyful movement kinda looks like in action.

And if you want more of this content,

Come visit me on Instagram or Facebook,

I'd love to see you there.

Bye everybody,

Thanks for coming,

Bye.

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