Letting Go Of Anger & Resentment For Good

I wrote this after I spent a morning fighting with my own partner. The same fight we’ve had 1000 times, yet it never seems to get resolved because we’re both really stubborn and we both hate to back down.

We all have those people in our lives who send us into our trauma response of choice - flight, freeze, or my personal favorite, fight.

Coaching can give you new levels of awareness that completely change the way you see yourself, your habits, and everyone around you.

Are you ready?

Transcript

Welcome to Coached by Nikki Dyer.

We've all had bad days and so often a day that starts out rough just keeps getting worse.

It's time to hit the reset button because you can come back from it.

Take a few minutes for yourself to practice your breathing.

Calm the noise around you and let go of the negative feelings you've been holding onto today.

Find a quiet,

Safe space in a comfortable position.

Whether that place is in a parked car or a quiet room doesn't matter.

Take this time to allow your nervous system to reset.

Settle your body and allow your muscles to soften.

When you're ready,

Start by closing your eyes and just focus on the silence.

Begin to ease your body further into relaxation by settling your heart rate.

Slowly allow the air surrounding you to move in through your nose as you breathe in and out.

Allow your breath to naturally slow down as your body enters into a deeper state.

As you breathe in,

Sense your lungs expanding,

Your body expanding.

As you breathe out,

Let the air go,

Letting go of whatever has been going on for you today.

Feeling the muscles in the body soften as you exhale,

Finding yourself in a balance of focus and relaxation.

As we go through the day,

We collect tension in the body.

Allow any tension you're still holding onto to rise to the surface,

Knowing that this tension served a purpose for you today.

Encourage any heaviness or emotions to come forward.

Think of an experience that recently caused you anger and frustration.

Time where you felt like the pressure of holding it all together was just too much.

A time where you felt like nothing was going right,

Where your strength was being tested.

As you make a clear image of this time in your mind,

Feel how the energy in your body reacts.

Remember what you saw,

Hear what you heard.

As you think about your experience,

Imagine it playing out in front of you,

And feel how your body reacts to the charge of the emotional energy as you think about it.

Let the tension rise.

Negative thoughts and experiences like this one are stored in the body and our bodies find ways of holding onto them tightly.

Our discomfort in any given situation provides a signal that we are out of alignment with our highest self and we're being given an opportunity to heal something.

It may be some original pain or perhaps a toxic belief that stops us from becoming our truest selves.

But we don't often see it from this perspective.

Rather,

We judge the situation and we blame others for what's happening.

But this also prevents us from learning the lessons and understanding the true message because this also prevents us from healing.

If we continue to ignore the lessons our soul has agreed to learn in this lifetime,

The more discomfort must be created until the message becomes so loud or the pain so intense that we have no choice but to pay attention.

What has come up for you to be healed?

Has this particular pain arisen many times before?

Regardless of how many times this situation has played out in front of you,

You have been called here today to understand the lesson to heal.

As a way of mirroring your subconscious beliefs that you are not enough or no one will ever love you the way that you want them to or that people abandon you.

At some point in your life,

You started to believe that you were broken or that you were wrong or not enough.

And life will always prove your beliefs right through interactions,

Experiences,

And relationships.

When you suppress emotion,

Your body still knows that it's there.

Your body holds onto it and it stores it deep in its memory.

The body never forgets.

Repressed emotion gets buried so deeply in the subconscious mind that you sometimes even lose awareness of it.

But these original beliefs,

They're easily triggered.

Because our souls,

They want to heal,

To grow,

And to continue to evolve toward becoming our highest,

Truest selves.

There may be hidden fears you have about the idea of letting this go,

As if it would be a failure on some level,

Or that by no longer needing to be right.

The other person in this scenario is somehow no longer wrong.

Continue to breathe,

Fully focusing on your exhale,

And welcome a shift in perspective.

See this experience for the first time from the viewpoint that it was here to teach you something.

Acknowledge today that holding onto any shame or guilt over this situation no longer serves you.

Know that in some way,

This experience has been your teacher.

And you're seeing it now because you're ready to see it.

Today,

You can thank this experience for the gift and the lesson it has provided.

As you shift your focus back to your breath,

Give yourself permission to let go of any shame you've felt over this experience.

Use your exhale to let any guilt or shame release from the body.

With every breath,

Continue to let go of the feelings of anxiety still lingering in you over this experience.

Allow your body to become heavy as it settles deeper into a state of peace and acceptance for the lessons you've learned and the lessons you'll continue to learn.

Notice how your body feels lighter somehow as you let go of this experience,

Of the heaviness and the weight that you no longer need to carry with you.

You no longer need to replay it out in your mind.

The feelings of heaviness and resentment you've been carrying with you,

They've been created by you.

As you hear those words,

You also have the new understanding that you have the power to add and remove negative thoughts and emotions in your life.

And that you have the power within to decide to let them go right now.

Give yourself permission to release anything that is no longer serving you.

Feel a sense of ease,

A sense of having a reset of the body and the mind,

A sense of gratitude for all that you have,

A life where you are thankful for the support of the universe and for those who act as guides and teachers around you,

For the lessons in the past you've learned from,

For your ability to move through them and for new experiences to flow to you.

You have a greater understanding that time spent on yourself is never time wasted.

You are choosing to be centered and present at this moment.

You are allowing your life to unfold without worry or fear.

You are giving yourself permission to let go of control,

To release the pressure of having to stay in control to feel safety.

You are learning that the more you are present in your life,

The more you experience inner peace.

Life is not random.

It provides for the purposeful unfoldment of our own divine plan.

When you are ready,

Come back to the space around you.

Come back with the love you have created within yourself and for the continued opportunity to grow and learn from all of your experiences.

Reviews

I am so appreciative that you "get" just how vital it is to let feelings of anger arise in us - and find a way to escape our bodies. This is coming from someone who suffers from years of CPTSD, having yet to "grow up" and out of childhood, as a long-time "adult" now! I'm so tired of this (really worn out and worn down by it).

I have been fortunate enough to have found an incredible hypnotherapist who won't give up on me taking as long as I have. I'm going to get there. Thanks for being a part of helping me get closer to the relief that truly, physically feeling my feelings will bring, once I can take down my wall. It is much harder and scarier than I realized...though I know feelings aren't as bad or as scary as I've imagined them to be. It's convincing my psyche - and genuinely comforting my inner child - that I can do this, even though no one taught me how until now. SIGH.

This is very powerful Nikki. Taking responsibility for our happiness is key. When we are curious and can look into what is causing the pain and suffering it opens the door for compassion and releasing it. I enjoyed this practice. I will definitely be coming back to it.💞💞💞

Felt so much better after listening to this, thank you. 🙏🏼

I’m working on anger and resentment and not letting these emotions affect my life. It’s just not worth it. Thank you Nikki

Excellent reflection - I am who I am and I am enough. 😀
Thank you !

Very helpful approach to feeling through my reaction to a fearful situation. Nikki provided the safety and guidance to “feel” through a recent experience so that I could begin to see what was going on and she also helped me accept my self-blame for reacting the way I did. No point adding fuel to the fire of fear-centered anxiety!

Very calming and helpful. I will listen to this again because I was stressed this time and my focus is lacking. I also think repetition will help me absorb more of the important message. Thank you so much, Nikki 🙏🏻💚

Thank you for this. Your words were much needed today.