Connecting With Intuition To Guide Your Relationships

Are you seeking clarity and guidance in your relationships? Learn how the 3 Principles can empower you to connect with your intuition, enhancing your decision-making and deepening your connections with others.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the CalmCast,

A time to feel calm and think clearly.

I'm Clare Downam,

The Queen of Calm,

A Transformational Life Coach.

I was a burnt out Head Teacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.

The CalmCast is a series of short explorations,

Gently guiding you back to your natural state,

Which is calm and clarity.

Just listen like you would listen to music,

With an open mind and curiosity.

There's nothing else to do.

Now let's relax into today's episode.

So,

Carrying on my exploration of relationships from a three principles perspective today and today intuition.

And as I keep saying with this exploration that if you've listened to my sessions about productivity,

Almost exactly the same things are coming up in both topics.

And isn't that interesting because it's that saying,

Isn't it?

And I don't know who said this,

But something about the way you do one part of your life is how you do all your life.

And although I'm not sure that that's true in that kind of behavioral scope,

Which is the thing where that quote originally came from.

What I do see is that as a human being,

How you're creating your experience is the same.

It is this process of moving from the formless to the form where the bridge there is thought.

And so,

As we start to see this in one aspect of our life,

I pretty much guarantee that will spread into other aspects of our lives.

And what I've noticed about this for myself is that every single aspect of my life has been impacted by this understanding.

When I first came into the understanding,

I was definitely still on my seeking Claire to be more productive mission,

Shall we call it.

And yet it's impacted on everything,

Every single aspect of my life.

So today,

Intuition and how that can guide us in our relationships.

And the first thing I want to point out is that I've given a verb to the title of this session.

And I see more and more that the verbs are irrelevant,

Really,

Because I'm not going to tell you how to connect your intuition.

So if you're looking for that,

You're in the wrong place.

Because I think there's an irony in that.

That's how does it work that I tell you how to connect to your intuition?

That kind of seems to me to defeat the object,

Because where I come from is seeing that you have everything,

Everything that you need inside.

You don't really need anything from outside of you.

And once you begin to see that,

Then that is you connecting to your intuition.

That isn't required from me,

Really.

However,

I think it's helpful to see a little bit about how things are working in this human experience so that you can navigate life with a lot more ease and you can know a little more about that guidance and when it's with you and when it perhaps isn't so much.

Although,

Again,

I do tend to think that the whole of life is working out just as it's supposed to.

And it's all fine.

It's all working perfectly.

We're always being guided all the time.

But I do think for most people,

There's a feeling of comfort when we connect to that space more deeply.

So it's probably best to know that when you're not connected to it,

First of all,

It's a bit like when you ask people to do a vision board or something like that,

You kind of get people to focus on what they don't want,

First of all,

And then think about what they do want.

If you are,

You know,

If you're considering something about your relationship,

Whichever relationship it is,

As I keep saying in these sessions,

It doesn't really matter.

We all have so many different relationships.

We have friendships.

We have family relationships.

We have a relationship,

Perhaps with a significant other.

We have relationships at work.

We have a lot of relationships,

Don't we?

They're a lot of our life,

Really.

So it doesn't really matter what relationship we're talking about.

So let's say you're considering something about a relationship.

Perhaps it's a message you need to give to somebody in a professional sense.

Let's look at that today.

And interestingly,

I have had a conversation with Bruce this morning about a message that he wants to deliver to somebody.

And at work and I was we were having a kind of coaching conversation about that on our walk today.

And what I what I heard from him initially was that he really saw that this the message you wanted to deliver to this person would be in the long in the short term and the long term be helpful to them.

But then I heard so that was that to me sounded very heartfelt.

It sounded like,

You know,

I don't want this person to be left in the position where they don't know that something they're creating isn't isn't up to par and that they're going to present it to a lot of people.

I don't want them to feel uncomfortable.

So I'm you know,

I would like to,

You know,

Help them out.

So that was really heartfelt.

But then what I heard,

Which is what I hear often is a busyness in the mind about how it will be received and maybe they'll get upset and happy,

You know,

Like the complication of it.

And I think that's the same with everything where we're looking at intuition is that I heard somebody I know quite well in a networking meeting.

She said,

It's the first thought.

And you'll notice it comes with a good feeling.

It's coming from a good place.

It's coming from a place of love.

You know,

It's like if you're going out for a night out with your other half and they look a dog's dinner.

Or,

You know,

They're just the outfits just not right.

Like Bruce is colorblind and sometimes I have to help him because the colors aren't quite well in my opinion,

Obviously.

But of course,

I would say to him,

Oh,

Sweetie,

I'm not sure that shirt really goes with that jumper or,

You know,

You can't wear navy socks with that dress.

I mean,

You can.

There's no rules here.

And that comes from a really good place,

Doesn't it?

You don't want your partner to go out looking in a mismatched outfit.

But then how much of the time do we kind of squash that down?

Because with who are they going to take it,

They're going to take it badly.

I don't want to have a row.

We need to get out the door,

You know,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Then the noise comes in,

Doesn't it?

And I think there's something about seeing that with every single interaction.

I mean,

Really,

There is no such thing as a relationship.

That is just an illusion.

There's our moment by moment interactions with another human being.

And the more we can do those from this,

Like I would say,

Intuition and love,

They're from the same beautiful formless space,

Aren't they?

They are.

They're the essence of who we are.

And then it's what we do with thought that kind of can kind of mess it up or send us on a path to deeper connection with another person.

More love and more feelings of gratitude and all the nice,

The nice feelings that we want to have in a relationship.

So there's something there about trusting that,

Trusting the nice feeling.

If it comes with a nice feeling,

It's got kudos.

It's got something helpful in it,

I would say.

And watch out,

And this is all we're pointing to,

Watch out for the state of mind that brings about an uncomfortable feeling.

Now,

What often happens is we have a feeling of something to say,

And then that uncomfortable feeling comes through.

And then we think that's got something to do with the thing that we were going to say.

So we stop.

We don't say the thing.

And that could be anything.

It could be telling somebody you love them.

It could be telling them they look great in the outfit.

It could be telling them something practical that they need to know.

It doesn't really matter.

But notice,

And all this is just awareness.

Now,

Of course,

Let's look at the opposite as well.

There's something I want to say.

It's coming from a nice feeling.

And then my thinking comes in and says,

Oh,

You can't do that,

And they're going to react badly and all this other stuff.

And the reverse of that,

Well,

Not the reverse of that,

But it's the same thing playing out,

Is I'm really annoyed with somebody,

And I want to tell them that I don't like what they've done,

And I'm feeling very riled up about that.

That's my system.

Again,

This is the formless,

You know,

The form of your thought.

It's taking form in your body in a quite unpleasant way,

An unpleasant sensation.

Well,

That's letting us know that the thoughts now are perhaps not trustworthy,

And they're not going to be the ones that hit with somebody.

They're not going to be a hit with somebody.

They're just not going to be a hit with somebody.

That's a good way of putting it,

Actually.

They're not going to land because they're not coming from a place of love.

Now,

So we can observe ourselves wound up and upset and not really connected to this inner wisdom that we have,

This inner guidance.

Like this morning,

Bruce and I were walking.

A lot happened in our walk this morning,

And there was a point at which we're having a discussion about holidays and logic around the holiday booking system at his work,

And it did not make sense to me.

I don't think it really made sense to him either,

And I just said at one point,

I just said,

Let's just stop.

Let's carry on,

And he stopped walking.

Let's just stop talking for a moment.

Let's just walk,

And when we're feeling a bit calmer,

Let's try again.

We had to do the same a couple of times because for some reason,

This subject kept kind of getting het up,

And in the end,

I said,

Well,

Let's just stop talking about it,

And let's please email HR and confirm whether you can use this year's holidays next year and how that all works,

And let's delete this confusion by getting clarification from the people who actually run the system,

And that came from a calmer place.

So when we're navigating our relationships,

And they're in an uncomfortable place,

There's something so powerful to know when we are and are not in a great place to communicate with another person.

So I hope those two kind of takes on that,

You know,

It's all about the feeling.

That's it,

Really.

It doesn't need any more complication than that.

Great feeling,

Great state of mind,

Connection to another person.

And when I say great feeling,

I don't mean a happy,

Clappy,

Ooh,

Feeling.

I mean just this.

You know the feeling.

I often say it's like you see a field full of sheep and lambs,

And those baby lambs and sheep know each other's sound,

Don't they?

The baby recognises the mother,

The mother recognises the baby.

And that's what it feels like when we're connected to our intuition.

And when we're not,

It feels rubbishy.

And that's it.

It's really that simple.

It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.

And there's no seeking of that feeling.

There's nothing to do to get there.

It's just this awareness of how we're going through life.

And then that guidance,

That clarity,

That knowing what to say next comes with much more ease.

So I've actually really enjoyed talking about that.

It's great.

I'm feeling a few kind of insights bubbling for me.

So I hope you found it helpful too.

If you want to find out more about what I share on Insight Timer,

Then come and follow me.

Reach out to me and join some of my courses.

They're great fun too.

And people seem to be finding them helpful.

So,

Yeah,

I hope to see you on there.

It's a great place to start a conversation with me too on Insight Timer.

So take care.

Lots of love.

And I hope to see you in there.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for listening.

There's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.

Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.

This has been The Calm Cast with Clare Downam,

Queen of Calm.

Take care and keep listening.