Welcome.
Today I'm going to lead you through a meditation called More Than Conquerors.
This phrase comes from the Bible in the book of Romans 8 and this meditation focuses on helping you to recognize and overcome a victim mentality.
I want to be clear and cautious that with this meditation we're not engaging in spiritual bypassing.
It's okay and healthy to acknowledge the difficult situations in our lives,
The situations in which we really do not have control,
And the things that are hard.
That's real life.
I don't want to spiritually bypass that and I also don't want to overlook the role that privilege and our identities play in this.
Some people come from a more marginalized identity group and they are going up against systems of oppression and so I just wanted to make mention of that.
We are all working within our own situation,
Our own confines of our lives and I also believe that mindset does play such a huge part.
So it's really a balance between acknowledging systems of oppression and then also claiming power,
Whatever power that is,
That we have in our own lives.
What does it mean to have a victim mentality?
Well,
When you're truly a victim you don't have a choice.
Something is happening to you.
Somebody else's will is being imposed upon you.
You are a passive receiver of the actions of your life and you find ways to cope.
When I have been in situations where I feel like the victim,
Reminding myself that I do have a choice in most situations is a really powerful tool.
If I'm feeling frustrated by another person's actions,
I can choose to see where my responsibility lies.
If I'm feeling self-loathing creeping up,
I can choose self-compassion.
If I'm feeling like things aren't going my way,
I can choose gratitude for the things that are good in my life.
If I'm feeling vulnerable,
I can choose joy.
If I'm feeling slighted,
I can choose forgiveness.
If I'm feeling trapped in my circumstance,
I can choose self-discovery and patience.
Living this way takes awareness and it takes recognition of unhealthy thought patterns.
If you have no idea where to start with this,
I recommend the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown or Emotional Agility by Susan Davids.
Or if you can find a cognitive behavioral therapist to work with,
That's really helpful in terms of recognizing unhealthy thought patterns.
There's a quote that I love from Catholic priest Henry Nouwen about our emotions.
He said,
Befriend them so that you do not become their victim.
As you experience emotions coming up during this meditation,
Allow yourself to feel however you feel.
You can notice the emotions coming up and become curious about them,
But try not to judge yourself for them.
If something causes you to strongly react,
It's a good indicator that there is more to explore there.
And remember,
Pain is inherent to the journey of knowing ourselves,
But wholeness is a worthy goal.
Before we begin,
I would like to acknowledge that we are only able to practice mindfulness now,
Thanks to the generations of people from east to southeast Asia who cultivated the knowledge and practices that have now become much more mainstream and accessible for all of us to incorporate into our spiritual practices.
I always like to take some time to center ourselves by focusing on our breath.
Begin by closing your eyes and starting to see in your body to notice what's coming up for you.
Make whatever adjustments you need to feel more comfortable in your seated or laying down position so that you can start to take attention away from your physical body and bring it more into an internal place.
Next,
Scan your thoughts.
Maybe it's the end of the day and you've had a really stressful day and you want to let that go,
Or maybe you just woke up and you're practicing meditation in the morning and you have a lot that you need to get done today.
Whatever it is,
Allow yourself to acknowledge those things and then start to turn down the volume on your thoughts.
Allow yourself to just sit with your breath for the next few moments knowing that you can go back to those really important things.
Allow yourself to notice any outside distractions.
Today is a rare rainy day in southern California,
So for me I hear rain falling and it's actually really soothing.
But sometimes I hear sirens or car alarms or airplanes in my busy city neighborhood.
Can you start to notice those things that might be drawing your attention away?
Allow yourself to hear those distracting things.
The more you try to ignore them,
The more they want your attention.
So allow yourself to notice them and then turn down the volume on those outside noises.
Try not to judge yourself if you do get distracted by a thought or an outside noise.
As soon as you realize that you've gone down the rabbit trail,
Remind yourself where you are,
Why you're here,
And bring yourself back to your breath.
We always have our breath to anchor us throughout our meditation practice and throughout our day.
I will lead you through some breaths to help you slow down your natural breathing and enter more fully into the meditation.
We will inhale to the count of four and exhale to the count of six.
Go ahead and take an exhale and then when you're ready take an inhale two three four pause at the top and exhale two three four five six pause at the bottom.
Again with an inhale two three four exhale two three four five six.
This type of breathing where we intentionally lengthen our exhales actually creates a physiological response in our nervous system and tells our brain to slow down and calm down.
I'll leave you here for a few rounds of breath on your own in this style where your exhale is slightly longer than your inhale.
Feel free to internally use the count of four for the inhale and the count of six for the exhale.
Now that you find yourself calmer and more present,
I'm going to read a list of some signs that you may have a victim mentality.
Even if it's in just one area or one relationship of your life,
You'll probably be able to relate to some degree to some of these statements.
As you listen,
Ask yourself if any of these resonate with you.
After I read the list,
I'll give you some time to sit with your breath and notice what emotions are coming up for you.
I feel powerless.
I see my problems as catastrophes.
I tend to think people are out to get me.
I believe that I'm a target.
I claim to past hurts.
I feel stuck.
My life circumstances are overwhelming me.
I come from a Christian background,
So as I thought about this idea of the victim mentality in my own life,
Almost immediately a verse came to mind from Romans 8 37.
It says,
In all of these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Those of us who believe in a loving God can draw strength from the knowledge that God is guiding us and working everything out for our good.
Earlier in Romans,
It says,
If God is for us then who can be against us.
This message is accessible for everyone.
If you're not comfortable with the Word God,
You can replace it with any word that resonates with you.
Maybe you want to use the word divine,
Universe,
Life,
Or higher self.
You could say instead,
If the universe is for me,
Then who can be against me?
Take some time here to meditate on the inherent goodness of the universe.
The phrase to focus on here is,
God is for me.
Again,
Replace the word God if you would like.
One way to sit with this phrase would be,
With every inhale repeat silently,
God is for me.
And as you exhale,
Let go of any negativity or doubt.
As I bring the meditation to a close,
I'll share a reflection that you can take with you from behavioral scientist Steve Maraboli.
He says,
How would your life be different if you stopped validating your victim mentality?
Let today be the day you shake off your self-defeating drama and embrace your innate ability to recover and achieve.
Thank you for joining me in this guided meditation.
