Don’t React & Be Free | Torah, Meditation: Nasso

Learn how meditation frees us from negative reactivity, especially when you’re feeling attacked or accused by others. True spiritual strength is not the force of an ego defending itself, but rather, the capacity to rest in the silence and be aware of reactive feelings without needing to become them. Followed by a guided meditation on the Hebrew letter ס samech, which represents the foundational support of this inner silence to set you free from emotional reactivity.

Teaching and guided meditation with Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks. Opening song Hashkiveinu and piano improvisation also by Brian. Hashkiveinu is from the album Ayn Od by BRIAH, and features the vocals of Jeannette Ferber and Bon Singer, along with Sam “Shmully” Markewich on drums, Joshua Miele on bass, and Lior Tzarfaty on guitar.

Transcript

It's a difficult thing because there is such a powerful inner drive to defend yourself, Right? And to defend yourself and to perhaps accuse the other who's accusing you. But this is really the social dimension of something that we're doing all the time when we practice meditation. Hush, Give aim. Adonai. Yellow hair Welcome to the Tour of Awakening Jewish Meditation podcast. I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks. In this episode, We'll learn about how meditation can free us from negative reactivity, Especially when you're feeling attacked or accused by others, Because true spiritual strength is not the force of an ego defending itself, But rather the capacity to rest in the silence and be aware of reactive feelings without needing to become them. Then we'll put it into practice with a guided meditation on Hebrew letter Samech, Which represents the foundational support of this inner silence to set you free from emotional reactivity. Thank you so much, And now on with the teaching. Enjoy. So Parshat Naso begins with the words Naso et Rosh b'nei Gershon. Literally Naso means lift up the head, Naso et Rosh, But it's an idiom. It means take a census of the children of Gershon, Which is continuing the counting of the Levites who are separated out from the other tribes to do the work of transporting the Mishkan, The portable sanctuary in the wilderness. Moses is then given instructions for purifying the camp, Which requires some people who have become tamei, That is ritually unfit. So people who are not able to interact with the Mishkan, With the sanctuary, And those people have to temporarily leave the camp. So here is the verse that describes that. Out from the camp, Kol tzaruah, That is everybody with this particular skin affliction called tzara'at, V'chol zav, Everyone who is a zav, That means they have some kind of bodily discharge, V'chol tamei lanafesh, And all who have become tamei from a, A nafesh is like, Just means a soul or a person, But it's particularly referring to a corpse, Someone who has touched a corpse. So these three categories of ritual impurity that prevent the Israelites from entering the sanctuary in the wilderness are actually metaphors for things that block us from entering the inner sanctuary of presence. Many Hasidic leaders was hated by the mainstream rabbis of his day. Once his wife asked him, Why don't you, Why don't you speak out against those people who are trying to hurt you? Why do you just take it from them? Right? And why is it that you even do nice things for them? Because he was known to actually send gifts to his enemies. He was practicing love your enemies. So why do you do favors? Why do you send them gifts when you could be bringing punishment upon them through the power of your prayers. " And he answered, Did you ever wonder why Hasidim bring the tzaddikim so many gifts? And just so make sure everybody understands that tzaddikim are the Hasidic rabbis who are believed to be spiritually perfected. So this guy, Yehudah Zvi Avrozdol, Was believed to be a tzaddik. And then he goes on, The reason why people bring monetary gifts to the tzaddik is because every building must have a foundation and without it, The structure can not stand. And so, Since the structure of the whole world stands only because of the as it is written. And here is his proof for that. This verse from Mishle from Proverbs, It says, V'tzadik y'sod olam. V'tzadik is the foundation of the world. And so he goes on that it's only right that people should support the one who supports everybody. But then he says, This doesn't make any sense why people bring me gifts because I'm not a tzadik. And so I've thought about this for a long time. Why is it appropriate for me to accept gifts from people when I myself am not exotic? And then it occurred to me that the world requires still another foundation, Not just the foundation of the tzaddik, But something else. And he brings this verse from Iyov, From the book of Job, That says, The earth hangs upon b'limah, Upon nothingness. So the tzaddik is not only the foundation of the world, But also somehow nothingness is the foundation of the world. And so then he goes on and quotes this extensive passage from the Talmud. It says, Says, Greater is that which is stated with regard to Moses and Aaron than that which is stated with regard to Abraham. Because with Abraham it is written, I am but dust and ashes. And so this is a reference, By the way, To the story of Sodom and Gomorrah when Hashem is saying that the inhabitants of Sodom are going to have to be destroyed and Abraham is pleading with God to not destroy the city. Because what if there are some innocent people there that are going to suffer along with them. And so Abraham in his humility, When he argues with God, He says, I am but dust and ashes. So that's where this is coming from. But then with regard to Moses and Aaron, It is written, What are we? What are we? Meaning the implication here is that we are not even dust and ashes. We are just nothing. And Rava says, And some says it was Rabbi Yochanan, The world endures only in the merit of Moses and Aaron. For it is written here, What are we? And it is written elsewhere. That verse we quoted before, The earth hangs upon nothingness. That is, The earth endures in the merit of those who said of themselves that they are nothing. Right? So the world is enduring because of this humility. And then it goes on, Rabbi E. Lea says, The world endures only in the merit of one who restrains oneself during conflict. As it is stated, The earth hangs upon nothingness. Bringing that verse again. And Rabbi Abahu says, The world endures only in the merit of one who renders oneself as if they were non-existent. And this is from in the Talmud, Chulin 89a. So you see, Said Rabbi Yehudas V. He's talking to his wife again. It's because people need nothingness in addition to the tzaddik that they support me. So what is all of this talking about? The essence here is that he's saying that his wife is asking him, Why do you take all this abuse from all these people? And his answer is that it's only in the merit that I accept this abuse that it's appropriate that I'm able to receive gifts from the Hasidim. Because I'm not a tzaddik. Such a perfect person. Ah, But I can be nothing. I can be nothingness. The example that he's giving of being nothing is in particular in relation to accepting abuse from other people. It's like the social dimension of being nothing. There's a prayer for this at the end of the Amidah. It says, After you daven the entire Amidah, There's this prayer that comes at the end, And it's saying to those who curse me, Let my soul be silent and let my soul be like dust to everyone. " This is a very difficult thing. When is the last time someone attacked you verbally, Accused you of things that were unjust, Treated you unfairly, And you were able to just go, I find it very difficult. It's a difficult thing, Because there is such a powerful inner drive to defend yourself, Right? And to defend yourself and to perhaps accuse the other who's accusing you. But this is really the social dimension of something that we're doing all the time when we practice meditation. So if you're meditating, It's the same thing. We're constantly being seduced, But not necessarily through intense emotions, Not because we're being defensive. But because it's a natural impulse that arises within to go places as opposed to just stay open and allow things to be as they are. It's hard to even remember to do that. As thoughts are arising and seducing us. So I sympathize. This is not easy stuff. And yet, It's not complicated. The essence of this practice of being nothing, Of being belie mas, As he says in the story, Is actually the most simple thing. And that's kind of the saving grace, Is that even though the tendency to be seduced into being something, Into being an opinion, Into being, Into having an agenda, Into looking into the future about what's going to happen next, What we're going to do, What our responsibilities are. What we want to do. To just be B'li Ma, Without anything, It's not difficult at all. Don't have to exactly expel anything from the camp, The way it says in the verse. We are expelling it from the camp, But not directly. We're not kicking out our thoughts. We're not kicking out our feelings, But rather we're recognizing that we are the nothing at the root of it. And just be the nothing, Be what you are. We're always trying to be the agenda, Be the thoughts, Be the feelings, Be the motivation, But instead to just be the nothing. To do this, It is very helpful to understand how we operate. Like, What are the forces within us that prevent that? And so that's what this verse in the Parsha is coming to help us with. Okay, So this is the beginning of the verse. Tzavet b'nei Yisrael, Command the children of Israel. V'shalchum min ha-machanei kol tzeruah. Send out from the camp every tzeruah. And tzeruah means someone with this skin affliction. And that skin affliction, Tzeruah is associated with lashon harah. That is gossip and slander. That tendency to entertain ourselves by talking about other people. It's very entertaining. It makes good conversation. So the skin acquires this disease from doing Lashon Hara. The skin is the boundary of a person, But it's also the place of intimate connection with others. And so this mythic disease is an expression of relationships getting tarnished through destructive speech, Which has its roots, Of course, In negative thinking, In that impulse to want to dwell on negative stuff. Now, This is the next piece of Echol Zav. Means a person who has had some kind of bodily emission and is associated with sexuality. Metaphorically, It represents the way sexual thoughts can sometimes be a kind of reaching or grasping for gratification, Which causes a loss of vital energy and presence. It really causes us to lose ourselves in a sense. We're grasping after something. These two represent the polarity of unconsciousness, The polarity of forces that make it difficult to be nothing. So Saruah is negativity. That is anger, Malevolence, Hurting people with our words. And Zav is craving, Wanting, Grasping, Neediness. Both of these lead to an absence of presence in the body, Which brings us to the third piece of the phrase, V'chol tamei lanafesh. To the degree that we become seduced by the energies of I hate and I want, Our bodies become temporarily dead to the divine presence. Let me say that again. To the degree that we get seduced by the energies of I hate and I want, Our bodies become temporarily dead to the Divine Presence. That is, The presence of being that is not separate from our own innermost being becomes something invisible to us. We can't feel it anymore because we're preoccupied with something else. So in order for the body to become the mishkan, For the body to become the sanctuary once again, These forces and the thoughts they produce have to be dissolved, Expelled from the camp in a sense, But not pushed away. Rather, We get rid of them by allowing them to dissolve in the field of consciousness by accepting them, By being with them, By being present to them. And in this way, We can let go of our addiction. To that inner noise, That inner impulse, Those inner drives, And rest upon the foundation of silence. Because that's what this is really about, Foundation of silence. So rather than feeling like our foundation has to be some kind of thing that's supporting us, To actually feel that our support, That which allows us to possess ourselves, To be consciously at peace and whole, Dwelling in this body in the moment, To allow that silent openness to be the foundation. So let's try that right now. Just noticing, Just noticing what is present right now in our experience. Bringing attention to the flow of the breathing, That gift of life that is constantly sustaining us moment to moment. And resting in that, Resting in that silent field, Which accepts, Which dwells with the experience as it arises. Notice if the mind and the heart wants to rely on something else, Wants to move out of the presence and into some other thing that arises in our inner map of thoughts and feelings. No need to push it away, But rather just to be the accepting loving presence of what is arising. And rest in that presence, Rest in that silence. You can do it. And let's take the bodily pose for the letter Samech, Which is the letter indicating this sense of being supported. Of the foundation and bring our hands to connect with the support below us. If you're standing, You can just bring your attention to your feet connecting with the earth. But if you're sitting, Putting your hands down on the chair beneath, Feeling the physical support, As an outer hand to this inner support of resting in the silence. And let's do a. . . Chanting of the affirmation for Samech, I am relying, I am supported, I am stability. Chanting on a long out breath, Deep breath in. I am relying. I am supported. I am stability. One more time, Really letting your voice vibrate in your body. Don't just listen to me chanting it, Chant it along with me so that you can plant the seeds of this inner attitude of relying on the foundation of silence. I am relying. I am supported. I am stability. And our chant for Samech. Samech lecho hanofalim. Oh Hashem, Blessed Holy One. The more we fall from the grace of presence, From the grace of this inner spaciousness and relying on the silent field, Which we are at the base of it all, You support us. You support us to return. In this act of teshuvah, To the truth of this moment. That is, Even though our experience moment to moment is like shifting sands, Like Fluid. Watery. It seems like it's not supporting us. You give us the power to shift our attention, To shift our looking. Where are we looking for support? And to find that support again and again in that which is not changing. What is not changing? It's the open space within which all the change is happening. How do we know that things are shifting and changing? How do we know the Mayim? We know it because we are this open, Silent presence. Let that be our Samech, Our Samech, Our support. Singing together. Shomech lechol hanoflim Shomech lechol hanoflim Somech lechol hanofalim, Somech lechol hanofalim, Roka haaretz al hamayim, Rokha! Aretz Alhamayim Zomech lechol hanoflim. Shalom. S'omech lechol hanofalim S'omech lechol hanofalim roka Let's Alhamayim Broke heart Uh-huh. Amahim. Shomech lechol hanoflim Shomech lechol hanoflim Shomech lechol hanoflim Shomech lechol hanoflim and preparing for meditation, Checking to let your body be in a comfortable, Alert, And unencumbered position. Letting your eyes be closed. Or at least just letting go of the field of vision, Unfocused. Hands relaxed and unencumbered. Being in a position conducive to stillness best you can. And bringing forth an attitude of generous, Loving offering of your attention, Which is a quality of this silence. This silence is so, So loving and generous because it allows whatever needs to be, Whatever needs to be expressed, It allows all of it. To be that loving presence to whatever is present. Bringing your right hand to your heart. With an attitude of generous offering of attention. Giving that attention with Lecha on a long out breath. Deep breath in. L'cha. And bringing your left hand to your belly as awareness flows down, Filling your belly with consciousness. Awareness permeating your organs, Bringing healing and gratitude to all of your cells, All of your life systems. Awareness flowing down from your belly, Down through your legs. Down to your feet and toes connecting with the earth below. And tension rising up from your belly into your chest, Upper back, Shoulders, And neck, Releasing any excess tension that might be there. Awareness flowing down through your arms, All the way down through your hands and fingers, Connecting back to your heart and belly. Bring your attention more deeply into the sensation of the flow of your breathing. Awareness rising up face facial muscles brain and nervous system bringing a little smile to your lips Being that loving, Benevolent, Indwelling presence, Life in the body. Naase, On a long out breath. Deep breath in. Naase. And bringing your right hand up from your heart to lightly touch your forehead as awareness opens up to the space around you. Resting on the sounds vibrating in the air, The shape and feel of the room. The closeness and farness of the different. The different objects, Beings, The walls, Ceiling, Everything. Recognizing that the world as it appears is appearing within the field of consciousness, The same place that your thoughts and feelings are appearing. There's one field, One awareness, And you are that field. You are this spaciousness. Affirming with vinishma. Deep breath in. V'nishma. Kissing your fingers, Relaxing your hands. Ribbono shel Olam as we prepare to dive into the field of consciousness to allow everything to be dissolved into that spaciousness. Help us to be strong in our intention to remember moment to moment. This fundamental act of being, Openness, Of resting in the foundation of silence. As we. Chant the sacred words, Atah Hu, You who are not separate from anything or anyone, You who are not separate from this awareness that we are, Atah Hu, You are Hashem, You are the divine, You are reality, You are existence itself. Atau, Atau A-ty-a-ho A-ty-a-ho ATAHU ATAHU Atyaho Atyahe Ataho Ataho Atyaho Atyahe Ataho Ataho A-T-Y-A-U A-T-Y-A-U Atau and coming into silent meditation. Amen. Coming back from the stillness, Bringing some movement to your body. Taking a nice stretch. May it be your will. That we integrate this inner power we have to rest in the spaciousness of the silence, To let the silence be our foundation upon which all the other elements of our lives are built within. Amen. Shalom. I hope you've enjoyed this Torah of Awakening. I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks. Until next time, All blessings.