Guided Meditation For Caregivers

This is a practice intended to offer support for caregivers of children, disabled adults, or aging relatives. It begins with a breath practice to calm and settle the mind. Then it transitions to a modified loving-kindness practice to soften and open the heart and help caregivers reconnect to the meaning of the care they provide.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Claire Parsons.

Caregivers today are under incredible stresses.

Many are required to manage jobs in addition to their roles caring for children,

Disabled adults,

Or aging parents.

Currently,

Those obligations may feel even more difficult as normal social supports and outlets may be limited.

If you are a caregiver,

Take this meditation as a chance to rest and recharge yourself so that you can keep your heart open as you take care of those around you.

To get started,

First make yourself comfortable.

Find a nice chair to sit in or go to your normal meditation spot.

You could even lie down.

Try to root yourself into the chair or cushion or mattress and melt into it.

Start to sit up tall with your spine relatively straight,

But don't strain.

We are putting away effort for just a moment,

And now we are resting.

So we want to find a posture that supports our chest,

But one that allows us to stay relatively alert.

We are building ease,

So take in your body a position that helps you find ease.

Let's start with a few deep breaths.

Bring your breath deeply into your belly and relax it.

Allow it to expand and then allow the breath to fill all the way up to the top of your lungs.

Hold it for just a moment and release it.

Try that one more time and notice,

If you can,

The sensations of your breath filling up the very bottom of your belly,

Through the middle of your lungs and all the way to the top.

Just feel that pressure and fullness for a moment and then let it go.

Feel the feeling of letting go as the breath goes out of your lungs.

Now let's check in with our body.

We'll do what I call a body sweep.

It's a quick body scan where we check in on the areas of our body that tend to hold stress.

They do this even when we don't know we're stressed.

So first,

Check in with your brow.

Look in for any crinkling or tension.

Check in with your jaw.

If your jaw is clenched,

See if you can let it go.

Check in with your neck and shoulders and notice if there is any tension there that you can release.

Let your shoulders fall away from your ears,

If possible.

Then check in with your heart and your belly.

Do you feel tension there?

Do you sense emotion?

See if you can open your heart at all.

See if you can let your belly relax.

Then check in with your hips and make sure that your body is fully rooted to the mattress or mat or cushion or seat where you're sitting.

And then check in with your hands.

Are your hands relaxed?

In whatever position they are in,

Are they at ease?

If they are clenched or tight,

See if you can loosen them.

Now find your breath,

Wherever that is.

It may be at the tip of your nose.

It may be in your throat or sinus area.

It may be in your lungs as they rise and fall with the breath.

Or it may be deeper in your belly where the breath enters and exits.

Just find wherever you feel the breath most strongly right now.

And on every exhale,

Feel that feeling of letting go as the breath leaves your body.

Each time you breathe out,

Feel the sensation of just letting go a bit more.

Each time you breathe out,

Let go of a worry.

Let go of a thought of something you need to do next.

Let go of the past.

Let go of the future.

Just breathe out.

Let go of everything that isn't right here,

Right now.

So let's first check in with ourself.

Just notice what's there right now.

Sometimes it's easy to go about our day,

Rushing from thing to thing,

Charging through our to-do list,

And we might not even notice how we feel.

Now that we've settled down just a bit,

Try to notice what's there.

Are you tired?

Are you worried?

Are you wondering what you're doing sitting here in this meditation?

Are you feeling like maybe you have better things to do?

Anything that you're feeling right now,

It's okay.

Let it be there.

See if you can notice where you feel it.

See if you can notice what you feel.

If there are thoughts in your mind,

See if you can separate the thoughts.

See if you can see space between the thoughts.

Can you let them float in your mind without getting caught up in the story?

Whatever is there for you right now,

Whether it's thoughts or feelings,

Or even maybe being distracted,

Know that if it ever becomes too much for you in what we're going to experience in this meditation,

That you can come back to your breath,

Come back to that sensation of letting go,

Or you can come back to your body.

Do a quick sweep.

Come back to your body so that you don't let the thoughts or the feelings overwhelm you.

If you're doing this meditation,

You likely are a caregiver,

And I created this meditation with almost any kind of caregiver in mind that applies to most of us.

Anyone who has the role or responsibility of giving care to someone else,

Including children,

Other adults,

Elderly people in our lives,

But I think it also includes many other people that we care for and give our hearts to,

Even if it is in small ways throughout our day.

So bring to mind the people that you take care of regularly in your life.

Think of who they are.

Are they your family?

Are there any friends that you reach out to to check in on?

Are there even people in your office or your community who you pay attention to and take care of,

Even if it's in a professional way?

Bring these individuals all into your mind.

See them in an array.

See their faces.

Notice how they're standing or sitting or even lying down.

See what they look like,

What their faces are telling you,

How they feel.

Think of all the things that you do for these people.

Do you give words of encouragement?

Do you cook their meals?

Do you bathe them?

Do you listen to them when they have worries?

Do you give them medications or attend to medical needs?

Think of the array of things that you do for all of these people and think of all the effort that you put into these activities,

The time.

Think of the attitude and the energy that you bring to these activities and think of why you do them.

As much effort as it is,

Think of why.

Most likely your answer will be love because that is what people do because it's the right thing to do.

But if there is any sense of obligation or even guilt,

That's okay.

Our relationships in life are often not simple ones.

If you notice that's there,

That's an insight and it's not cause to judge yourself.

So if you see that,

Just be gentle.

As you were thinking of the people you care for,

Did you think of yourself?

If you did,

How did you think of yourself?

If you forgot to think of yourself,

Know that it is normal.

Know that our culture doesn't necessarily encourage us to think of ourselves.

In many cases,

Many people are concerned that caring for themselves is a form of selfishness and it's also as a practical matter,

Just human to forget yourself when you are busy caring for other people.

So let's reflect just for a moment on our own need to be cared for.

Bring to mind a time when you felt loved.

It doesn't have to be a special occasion but it can be.

It can be a small moment.

A small pleasant memory in your mind where you felt love transfer from one person to you.

Sense what that felt like in your body as you recall this instance in your mind.

What was happening?

What was said?

How were the two of you positioned?

How did they show love to you?

What did they do?

How did you receive the love?

And reflect on how that act of love may have showed up in your behavior after.

Emotions are often manifested in our hearts and our bodies.

So check in with your heart right now.

Sense the area around your heart and sense how it feels.

Sense what your heart may be calling out for right now.

What kind of care do you need?

Do you need some physical manifestation of care?

Do you need to put your hand on your heart to remind yourself you're there for you?

Do you need to gently hold your hand one in another to calm yourself?

Do you need to offer yourself a loving phrase?

Do you need to tell yourself I know how hard you're working to take care of other people?

Do you need to tell yourself I'm proud of you?

Or do you need to just allow yourself to relax right now?

To ease back.

To breathe deeply.

And to feel how good the breath feels.

Or maybe to just let go of worries and thoughts for a while.

Whatever kind of care you need.

Do that now.

Now if you are struggling with any of this know that that's okay.

Love is not always easy.

And many people struggle with self-compassion.

When we are stressed or scared or worried the normal thing many human beings do is start to close off and shut down.

So don't force yourself if you are struggling.

The answer is not always to push through.

Sometimes the answer is to ease back.

Sometimes if your car for instance is stuck in the mud it's wiser to go in reverse instead of trying to charge forward.

Sometimes our hearts are like that too.

So if things ever get too intense in this meditation or in life sometimes the caring thing to do is ease back and come back to your breath.

Ease back into your body and rest.

You should also know that struggling and love are not necessarily opposed to each other.

Sometimes people worry that there is something wrong with them if they can't always feel loving they don't always feel generous or they get scared or overwhelmed as they try to help someone else.

Those times are not only human.

They are the epitome of love.

Reflect that it is love that helps us do good even when we feel bad.

It is love that allows us to care for someone else even when we are tired.

It is courage to remain calm when you feel scared.

There are times that you may care for others where you may feel weak but those times are the ones that often show incredible strength.

Those are the times that show us how the heart can expand to cover things we didn't think we were capable of handling but for the heart to expand it needs nourishment like any other living thing plants need water and light from the sun animals need food and affection and human hearts need love from other people.

You've already taken the brave action to care for yourself in this meditation but before we close we'll try one more.

Think of the people you regularly care for again.

This time imagine them around you in a circle.

Bring your attention to the center of that circle in the area of your heart.

Imagine this group of people looking you in the eyes and saying thank you.

Imagine them sending you love.

Imagine them expressing gratitude and care in whatever way they can express it.

Are they sending words?

Are they taking your hands?

Are they giving you a hug?

Or are they just looking into your eyes and smiling?

As the circle of people the people you care for every day sends their love keeping your attention in the area of your heart imagine yourself actively receiving that love feel your guard coming down allow your heart to open imagine your defenses dropping just for a moment let the love from these people you care soak into your heart saturating it completely just like water soaks into the soil or a plant.

Just sit in this feeling for a moment and take it in feel the sensations in your heart now and notice if those sensations radiate out to other parts of your body.

Now check in with yourself once more.

What is there for you now?

How are you feeling now?

Do you notice any difference?

Do you feel a shift of any kind?

Do you just feel a little bit rested?

Maybe more relaxed?

Whatever you feel,

Congratulate yourself for taking the time to sit and rest for a while and care for yourself.

Know that you deserve every second of the time you spend on yourself and that you can find this rest again whenever you need it.

To close let's take a big breath in allowing the breath to go all the way deep into your belly fill up your lungs all the way to the top hold it and release and when you are ready you can open your eyes.