The Fear Of Imperfection

We have a tendency to judge our worst moments against the highlight reels of others. We see all of our flaws, hear all the doubts, and live through the darkness, yet we compare ourselves to the external projections of others. We fear failure, yet this fear ironically causes our performance to drop.

This talk will show you that it's only through acceptance and action that we can hope to push through our fears and take the actions necessary for success.

Transcript

The Fear of Imperfection by Zachary Phillips Atelephobia.

The fear of imperfection.

The fear of not being good enough.

Crippling inaction.

Studded words.

No self-worth.

The fear of failure causing failure.

Fear.

Not inability,

Talent,

Or lack of opportunity.

Just fear.

Just anxiety.

Just unattainable standards.

Standards put upon by myself.

Standards forced upon me by the world.

The fear of failure causing failure.

Not inability,

Talent,

Or lack of opportunity.

Just fear.

Just anxiety.

Just unattainable standards.

Standards put upon by myself.

Standards forced upon me by the world.

Others can fail.

Others can be imperfect.

Others can have fun.

Just stop.

Please don't placate me.

I know no one cares about that stuff.

I know we all make mistakes.

I know I'm only human.

Reason doesn't stop the thoughts.

By definition,

A phobia is illogical.

My only solace comes from the diagnosis.

Knowing that I'm not alone.

Perfectly imperfect.

Together.

Knowing I'm not alone.

Perfectly imperfect.

Together.

I'm not going to sit here and say that you are perfect.

Because when you sit back and contemplate it for a while,

You're not.

You're not perfect.

I'm not perfect.

No one is perfect.

We all find it easy to judge our worst moments,

Our inner demons,

Against the projected external realities that we see from other people.

What people choose to show us,

Is what we see.

What we see online,

On social,

Or in the news media.

We compare external perfection with an internal narrative that highlights our lack of self-worth.

Our problems,

Our faults,

All of the issues that we have with ourselves.

But it's important to realise that the people projecting that perfection that we see,

They too at time,

Have fear.

They have a fear of what they see.

They have fear.

They have issues.

They have inner demons that they're dealing with.

We just don't get to see them.

So one step in moving beyond the fear of imperfection is to accept that we are all,

None of us,

Perfect.

That we're all in the same boat together.

And the next thing to realise is that your fear of imperfection,

The fear of not being good enough,

That fear,

All fear really,

Is helpful to a degree.

It's helpful to a degree because it shows us where we can take action,

Where we can improve,

Where we are at risk.

Fear is a response to the environment to keep us safe and prosperous.

So it should be in a way appreciated.

But it's just that when this fear gets too strong,

When it goes too hard,

When it overwhelms us and cripples us,

When it by its very existence,

Ironically makes us less capable of taking action and of being less quote unquote perfect,

We have this tendency to get trapped,

Bogged down,

And to focus and to ruminate on all the things that we're doing wrong,

That we can't change.

And our very act of getting bogged down once more causes us to be able to take less and less action.

Atelephobia.

The fear of imperfection.

The fear of not being good enough.

Crippling inaction.

Stuttered words.

No self-worth.

The fear of failure causing failure.

The fear of failure causing failure.

Not inability,

Talent,

Or lack of opportunity.

Just fear.

Just anxiety.

Just unattainable standards.

Standards put upon by myself.

Standards forced upon me by the world.

Others can fail.

Others can be imperfect.

Others can have fun.

Just stop.

Please don't placate me.

I know no one cares about that stuff.

I know we all make mistakes.

I know I'm only human.

Reason doesn't stop the thoughts.

By definition,

A phobia is illogical.

My only solace comes from the diagnosis.

Knowing that I'm not alone.

Perfectly imperfect together.

Perfectly imperfect together.

I suppose to get over this fear.

To get over the self-worth issues.

To move beyond the anxiety and unattainable standards.

We meditate.

We meditate to detach.

To see those thoughts.

And to realise that those thoughts aren't us.

When a thought of negativity comes,

A meditator sees the thought and realises that it's not us.

We're not the same.

We're not the same.

We're not the same.

That they are the thing seeing the thought.

Or that they are the act of seeing the thought.

But they're not the thought itself.

It's like me asking you,

Are you your big toe?

Or are you the thing that has a big toe?

The analogy here is that it's obvious for all of us to see that,

Well,

I'm the thing with the big toe.

I'm not a big toe.

Look at it.

I'm over here and my toe is down there.

In the same way,

When we meditate daily,

We take action to show us that I'm the thing over here.

Or,

Depending on your practice model,

I'm the void.

But I'm the thing over here and the thoughts are over there.

They are separate to me.

But how does this relate to the fear of imperfection?

Those fears,

Those self-doubts,

Those anxieties,

The low self-worth,

All of the symptoms,

All of these mental afflictions can be seen as a separate entity to you.

And if you see yourself as separate from them,

You can get space from them.

If you can get space from them,

Then you can acknowledge them for what they are.

You can say,

Yes,

Thank you for showing me that.

I'll let you go.

And then you turn and you take action.

You keep moving because you are not your thoughts.

You're just the thing having them.

And beyond that,

It's important to recognise that no matter what,

Perfection itself is unattainable.

Because by the act of trying to make something perfect,

You're giving yourself an ever-moving target.

Once you get close enough to the target,

You will see how much further you need to take it.

If you get closer still,

The goals shift again.

It's like chasing the end of a rainbow.

No matter how far you travel,

You will never get it because perfection is an impossibility.

It is an unattainable standard.

So you can counter these fears by embracing them.

Turning and acknowledging them.

By thanking them.

You can counter them by meditation and by realising that you are separate from them.

And you can counter them by cold logic.

The recognisation that the goal of perfection is itself impossible.

It's impossibility.

And once you've counted it,

It becomes,

Well,

Then what do I need to do?

From there,

It's a matter of self-care,

Of self-love,

And recognising that you are worthy.

So take a moment right now and look inwards,

And appreciate how far you've come.

You may not be perfect,

But you are you.

You've done what you've done,

And based on that fact,

You are here.

You are listening to this.

The fact that you are taking this action,

This meditation,

This time right now to improve yourself,

Suggests that you are not just perfect,

Suggests that you love yourself,

And it suggests that you're taking action towards perfection.

It's unattainable,

True,

But you are moving down that path,

And that's what counts.

Atelephobia.

The fear of imperfection.

The fear of not being good enough.

Crippling inaction.

Stuttered words.

No self-worth.

The fear of failure causing failure.

Not inability,

Talent,

Or lack of opportunity.

Just fear.

Just anxiety.

Just unattainable standards.

Standards put upon by myself.

Standards forced upon me by the world.

Others can fail.

Others can be imperfect.

Others can have fun.

Just stop.

Don't placate me.

I know no one cares about that stuff.

I know we all make mistakes.

I know I'm only human.

Reason doesn't stop the thoughts.

By definition,

A phobia is illogical.

My only solace comes from the diagnosis.

Knowing that I'm not alone.

Perfectly imperfect.

Together.

I am not alone.

Perfectly imperfect.

Together.

Reviews

Thank you! It’s good to recognize the fact that all of us humans are perfectly imperfect.

Thank you 🙏

Beautiful.

This message was excellent!💜 I have tried to be a perfectionist since probably 4th. I am learning day by day that whatever I have done is my best work! Thanks again! 💜🌈🦋

Awesome!! Thank you!!

So helpful

Again, so beautiful ✨ Thank you for sharing this with us ♥️✨♥️ xxx

Thank you! This has helped me a lot today.

Just what I needed! Thank you

That was a very interesting approach. The repetition was has created a thought marker in my head. It actually reminds me of why I am addressing my issues with fear on the first place. Overall I think this session was effective. I'm still repeating what what you said as I'm typing this response. It's a great starter for me. Thank you!

Thanks for this. A good reminder to get me back grounded.

Hi Zachary, a great meditation on our imperfection - really helpful!
Well put phrases, especially „perfectly imperfect, together“!
Really like this ...

BRAVO! Omg so many good concepts and even the repetition of them make this so innefable! I cannot choose one favorite: perfectly unperfect, fear by definition is irrational, perfection itself it's unattainable... Thank you so much for sharing this one

quite an interesting insight into something we all struggle with!

Thank you for this. Perfectly imperfect, together 🙏

very glad you posted this. Thanks

Well understood. The knowing that we are all doing the best we can is so helpful for self acceptance.
Thank you.

Very nice! Thank you!