A few weeks ago,
During a conversation with my spiritual director,
I discovered a question that was on my heart.
And the question is this,
How do I want my children,
Now aged six and four,
To remember me?
How do I want them to look back on this period of their lives and their relationship with me at this time?
Now the reason we got to that question was I had learned that I was not in a great place.
I was losing my patience more often than I wanted to.
I was frustrated,
Resenting them for my lack of freedom.
Doesn't seem fair.
But it got me to thinking about the roles of people in my life.
And so for today's practice,
I invite you to come with me on this journey.
I'm going to go for a walk outside so you'll hear some background noises accordingly.
You might want to come for a walk too,
Or you can just stay right where you are.
I'm going to invite us to reflect on three people and how.
And I'll explain this as we go.
So if you're coming outside with me,
This is a good time to grab whatever you need.
Your jacket,
Shoes maybe,
Or just your bare feet.
I'm outside now.
And as I opened the door just now,
I was hit right in the face by beautiful,
Bright sunshine.
There is vapor rising off of the wood of our pergola in front of our house.
It's the most amazing scene.
It's like smoke rising.
Backlit by the beautiful sun.
I'm walking on the traditional territory of the Lekwungen speaking people.
And I offer them gratitude for the care they offered this land.
And the care they continue to offer this land.
This practice is a variation of the three things and why practice.
And the three things and why practice is a gratitude practice,
Which has been studied quite extensively and been shown to dramatically change people.
Directly change one's perspective,
Even one's state of happiness or degree of flow.
Three things and why if every day we record the three things we're grateful for and one specific reason why we're grateful for that thing.
That can begin to alter our brain makeup and help us to perceive the world in different ways.
Today's practice is about the people in our lives and key people in your life.
So one at a time,
I'm going to invite you to visualize people who have influenced you in some way.
Maybe these are people who saw something in you that you didn't see in yourself.
Maybe these are people that helped you to correct a mistake.
Maybe someone forgave you at just the right time.
Maybe someone taught you a new skill that changed your life.
Maybe someone drew you into a position of leadership that you wouldn't have otherwise found yourself in.
Or maybe you're thinking of someone who acts a little bit like the guards at the bowling alley,
The guards that go up and protect the ball from going into the gutter.
The first time I went bowling,
I remember it was a terrible experience because back in the 80s we didn't have those guards.
When I took my kids bowling for the first time a couple of years ago,
They had a great time because the ball just bounced off the rails,
Bounce,
Bounce,
Bounce and knocked over the pins.
Other people who have acted as those guards or rails in your life when at some point you were headed for the gutter but they redirected you.
So let's start with that first person that you're picturing.
The first person who has had a dramatically positive influence on your life.
And I invite you to hold them in your mind's eye,
Picture them before you.
Maybe you're picturing them having coffee or teaching or however your relationship manifested before.
Notice the expression on their face.
Notice how you feel in their presence.
Does the conversation flow easily?
Is it a true dialogue?
What's it like to be with them again in this moment?
Now scan back to when this person had that influence on your life.
Recall the circumstances of your life at the time.
Try to recall how you felt about yourself,
How you felt about other people,
How you felt about the world.
And then think about the influence this person has had.
What have they changed in you?
And specifically,
Consider how they influenced you.
Was it something they did or said?
Did they have a particular way of interacting with you?
Now imagine what's happening for them over this same period.
Just guessing,
What was on their mind?
What did they see in you?
What are they hoping to achieve with this relationship?
How are they hoping to be around you?
Spend a few moments in silence with that person.
And now allow them to leave your mind's eye.
If you're picturing them at a coffee shop,
Maybe you both stood up and are parting ways with an appropriate greeting.
Notice how you feel as they're moving away from you.
Now do the same with another person.
Who's a second person who has had an unusually significant influence on your life?
What was going on for you over the period of this influence?
What was your perspective?
How are you feeling?
What specifically did this second person do that created so much influence in your life?
What was it specifically about them that allowed for this influence to happen?
What was it about you that allowed this influence to happen?
Imagining you're in their presence again in this moment,
How do you feel?
Is there something you're yearning to say or ask?
Or is it sufficiently satisfying simply to lock eyes for a few moments?
And now it's time to part ways with them.
You offer them an appropriate greeting and see them go.
How are you feeling as they are going?
And now a third major influencer on your life enters your mind's eye.
You're imagining them right in front of you.
How do you feel seeing them again?
What do you yearn to say or do?
How do you wish to be?
What was going on in your life when their influence manifested?
What was going on in their life?
What did they do specifically that allowed you to become the person you are now?
As you prepare to part ways,
Is there anything you wish to say?
You offer some parting words and a greeting.
What are you noticing as they move away from you?
When I've done this practice before,
I've felt the desire to contact those people who had influences on me.
Maybe you feel that desire too,
Maybe not.
But if you do,
Pay attention to that.
Maybe there's something worth listening to.
What is it about any one or two or all three of these people that you wish to imitate?
Is there some way in which you want to be like them?
Is there a change you need to make in your life so that you can be like them in some way?
What are the people who,
If they hear this in 10 or 15 years hence,
Might be thinking about you?
In other words,
Who are the people that you are influencing right now?
Are you or they aware of the influence?
Is it intentional?
Is it planned out?
Is it circumstantial?
Is it happenstance?
Either way,
I invite you to pay attention to those relationships.
They are precious.
Well,
I'm going to continue my walk for a little while.
And if you've come out walking also,
You might continue yours or maybe it's time to head back.
Either way,
I thank you for coming on this journey.
Until next time,
I'm Greg Powell.
Peace.
