Welcome to this meditation for difficult moments,
Difficult times,
Difficult emotions.
This is Ashley,
Mindfulness and meditation teacher and this is my most personal meditation as this is my personal practice when I have difficult moments and we all have difficult moments.
But when I do,
I go deeper into my practice.
I practice more,
I love myself more,
I forgive myself more and I do the opposite of what may be instinctual.
I open my heart more.
Often we close the heart in moments of fear.
Opening your heart is not weakness.
It's a strength to stay open,
Loving.
So first come into your comfortable seat,
Whatever that is for you.
Maybe you're sitting up,
Maybe on the floor,
Maybe you sit outside and listen,
Feel the sun on your face.
Wherever you are,
Tune into your body,
Noticing anything you need to relax or let go.
Notice your teeth,
Relax your jaw,
Spine grows tall,
Your heart is open.
Now tune into the heart.
Notice what's there this morning,
Today.
Welcome everything and let's take three cleansing breaths.
Breathing in through your nose,
Filling your belly and your ribs,
Everything expands.
Exhale,
Relax.
Breathing out the mouth.
Two more,
Inhaling,
Exhaling.
One more,
Feel the earth hold you.
You are a still point on this earth.
Come home to your breath.
As you feel your next breath,
Focus on this life-giving force.
We are so lucky to be able to breathe in this moment.
Maybe bring hands to your heart.
This instantly calms the nervous system.
What if this was the first breath you ever took?
What if it was your last?
How would that feel?
I reflect on the breath often.
The simplicity of the breath,
This life-giving force,
Our spirit.
Sometimes we just need to come home to our breath,
To ourself,
To this moment,
To this simple gratitude for life.
Each breath reminds us that we can begin again,
But it's also a perfect example of letting go.
We come into this life on an inhale and we leave this life on an exhale,
A letting go.
As you breathe here with me,
Can you let go of what is hurting you in this moment and just bring attention to gratitude for this life,
This breath,
To the extraordinary life that breath gives us.
Let's sit with that for a moment.
If we are here,
Anything is possible.
And after I've checked in with my breath,
I ask myself,
Am I here?
Am I present in this moment or am I caught in a story of my mind or a loop of what-ifs?
What if this happens?
What if this person does this or doesn't do that?
What if,
What if?
My grandmother called me the what-if-er as a child because I was riddled with anxiety from something that had happened to me and I became caught in a loop of what-ifs.
Because when one bad thing happens,
It's hard not to imagine more.
So I ask myself,
Is what I am afraid of truly happening in this moment?
Or is this just a projection of my mind?
And if my answer is no,
If what I'm worried about is not happening,
I let it go.
I choose to let it go.
Fear does not exist outside of the mind.
Can you let go of fear?
Can you let love in?
Can you do what scares you anyway?
Do it scared.
I am.
If love is your intention,
It's never wrong.
Lead with love.
Come back to your breath.
Three deep breaths in.
Sometimes the moment is hard because we're focusing on an event,
A mistake,
A trauma,
A regret.
But whatever happens not here.
It's not in this moment.
We're not alive in the past.
I lost 40 years of my life being sad over events I couldn't control,
Over things that were done or happened,
Things I had no say in when I was a child.
Maybe things I did,
Mistakes I made,
But they happened.
And it was only through mindfulness and acceptance of the present moment that I was able to let go and accept that if it happened,
It happened.
And I can't change it.
Whether I like what happened or not,
Whether I felt it should have been different.
It was inevitable.
It happened.
It's unchangeable.
But can I accept?
Can I forgive?
It happened in the present moment at that time.
This is true present moment awareness.
Three deep breaths.
And the last thing I remind myself is that whatever is hard is just what's happening right now in this moment.
It won't always be this way.
Every emotion I have ever felt that's been difficult,
It's gone away.
It's temporary.
It might revisit,
But when it does,
I hold it within me.
I allow myself to feel it.
I may cry,
But then I gently let it go.
I heal and love myself without condition,
Especially in hard moments.
Three deep breaths.
And lastly,
I tell myself the things I needed to hear all along the way in this journey of life that no one ever said to me.
I say it to myself.
I breathe into my heart and I repeat this.
It will be OK.
You will be OK.
You are safe.
You are meant to be here.
It won't always be this way.
I love you.
I have always loved you.
Always loved you.
