In the world of today,
One of the first ways our mothers are able to know us to be true and real is through the sound of our heartbeat.
One consistent song chorusing through the ears of a monitor grounds the unfathomable into life,
Proves right the miracle of your existence.
Our heart is the first organ to develop in the womb.
Without it,
Without your heart,
Nothing else can sustain.
But before the doctor's office,
Before the confirmation of ultrasounds,
Our mother's heart sing the call of new life growing from within.
Much like our ancient mothers did,
And that's how one truly knew.
It was about a feeling,
Something that could not be quantified,
It could barely be defined.
If truly destined,
The feeling spoke in a language we would only remember after this life was done.
And yet,
In moments of new awakenings,
Our mother tongue reappears through the heart,
Our spiritual time capsule,
Holding the secrets of many lifetimes and of many realms.
The language of the heart appears to say,
Do you remember how you are a living,
Breathing manifestation of soil,
Of creation,
Of spirit?
Of spirit,
Your body remembers,
Your root remembers.
And now here within is a gift of remembrance,
A child.
You are that child,
The gift of remembrance,
Placed from the arms of the great mother into the womb of our earth mother.
Do you remember what it felt like to hold within only your heart,
Your final kiss from the lands of before?
What lives inside you now that pulls you away from your origin?
What voices now drown out the sound of your mother tongue?
What can you feel?
What can you no longer feel?
And what do you remember never feeling at all?
The heart holds the key to this life,
Your future lives,
And your past lives.
If we were to ask the body where Akasha laid from within,
They would point to your chest,
To your heart chakra and say,
You'll find wisdom here.
Do not fear her,
But do not rush her.
She is a force only to be reckoned with at the spark of your own reckoning.
When you are ready to truly know yourself,
This is when we turn to our hearts and ask,
Who are we?
Hearts have four chambers.
We live in a state of balance with the individuals of ourself,
Fire,
Air,
Water,
Earth.
In reflection of our earth,
The division of life's greatest elements creates a greater wholeness that maintains an ecosystem of perfect harmony for life on this planet.
Our heart is the same.
Our heart chakra holds the essence of many beings living within us,
All with our spirit,
But all having brought to this life a distinct form of healing,
Of karma and truth.
These essences bridge the lower and upper energetic centers of our body together,
Becoming the community center for gathering,
Reconciliation,
New awareness,
And confrontation.
All matter in this life is a matter of the heart.
When we find ourselves in need,
But without an understanding of why we are without or what needs to be filled or replaced,
Our heart is the first place spirit leads us.
And it is a place.
Many of us venture away from our homeland out of survival.
As humans,
We are nomadic,
A planet of constant immigrants.
We move to survive.
We redefine belonging and heritage as we evolve,
Sometimes out of exploration,
Sometimes by force.
But the desire to return home,
To rediscover where we come from,
Is a yearning that outlasts time itself.
It is a yearning that was born long before time.
It is the mother tongue,
A kiss from before life,
Our most ancient ancestor,
And the only truth that seems to matter when we've hit rock bottom.
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Where is home?
That original sin,
Some say we're born with,
Is sort of like karma.
It's a choice.
A choice to show up to life a little broken,
A little in need.
It's this scarcity,
It's this scarcity,
This yearning that pulls us down to earth and begins the quest.
It's not bad to have problems,
To have trauma,
To hold a heavy heart.
That weight is the tether in your spine pulling you back home so you can heal,
So you can remember,
So you can feel the greatest form of love in a language unspeakable in this realm.
You need a reason to begin.
It's part of the definition of life.
And so all those individuals within,
Those ancestors,
They give you reasons.
They give you pain,
Desires,
Anguish,
Gifts.
They give you reasons to begin asking,
To begin wanting,
To not know,
To have your only answer be,
I don't know.
I don't know why I am the way I am.
I don't know who I am.
I don't know where I come from.
I don't know how this pain got here.
That unconsciousness is the reason to live.
It's syllables in the ancient language of the subconscious,
But beyond.
Epigenetics tells us that our pain is inherited in the womb.
In the great cosmic womb,
Our pain is born from our great mother.
But pain is the sacrifice,
The ending of one life that invoked another.
You cannot have life without it.
And either way,
It sits in our body because it is original,
Because we started as nothing.
There was a heartbeat,
A feeling from the chest of nothingness,
Saying,
There's a reason here.
Something is alive.
You are nothing,
And yet you are not,
Because within you,
There's something else.
There's a reason.
The pain of being without reason was strong enough to birth existence itself.
You are the reason the act of becoming exists.
An irreplaceable,
Irresistible feeling.
A need to go on,
To go forth.
You've always been the reason.
And you,
Just like our universe,
Was born out of a need.
Do not punish yourself for needing,
For not knowing,
For that lack mindset.
It's beautiful.
It is a recollection of our great ancestress,
Our first death and rebirth.
Nothingness,
Who braved her own bereavement,
Her own emptiness,
To admit she was in need of more.
To admit she needed a reason.
Do you need a reason to live?
Ask your heart.
