How To Create Your Life + I'm Pregnant!

In this episode, Amber shares with you her journey of creating life, literally a baby + how it relates to using your magnet powers aka your mind to create the life of your dreams, the life of your heart’s deepest desires through the manifestation.

Transcript

This is the Yoga Off the Mat podcast. A space you can learn how to deepen your connection with yourself, To live a fulfilled, Passionate and authentic life using the lessons from the mat. I'm your guide, Host and teacher, Amber Hackberg, And I'm here to inspire you to take time for yourself so that you can embody the practice of yoga and live your yoga on and off the mat. Here we are again for Yoga Off the Mat with Amber Hackberg episode number 15. Good morning, Afternoon, Evening, Beautiful wherever you are in the world. Thank you for being here. Whether you're a new guest listening into the show or you've been following all along since the beginning. This is a topic near and dear to my heart where we dive into the exciting news that I've just shared on my social media outlets. If you're not already following me, Go follow me now, Amber Hackberg on Facebook or Instagram. And as you're diving into the show, If you're getting valuable lessons and things that you want to share with those that follow you, Tag me, Post me on Instagram. Those that follow me will follow you once I share your post and vice versa. We can help grow this message together that we can create anything we want in the world. I'm pregnant. Oh my gosh. This is such big news for me. If you haven't been in my world since, You know, 2016, You might not know the backstory, But don't worry, We'll dive into it today. I'm really excited because I've always had a dream, A dream to be a mom, A dream to create a family and how this interweaves into my yoga practice and my role as a yoga teacher and leader. If you're someone wanting to get pregnant, Have thought about getting pregnant or perhaps struggled with getting pregnant, I want you to know that the possibilities of you turning that dream, That desire into reality is just as close as your next breath. And at the same time, There's the non-attachment, A parigraha, Deep sweet surrender to the unknown, That which we can't control. Time is irrelevant and time doesn't exist except as much time energy that we give to time. So back in 2016, I got pregnant and had a miscarriage and was so devastated because, You know, From the time I was 14 till the time I was 27, I hadn't been the safest in my sexual intercourse and my intimacy because they had, You know, Long-term partners, One of eight years, One of four years and I never got pregnant. So I always thought maybe I can't get pregnant. And it wasn't really something that I was trying, But I remember growing up and always having a desire to create a family, To have a child because I grew up where I wasn't shown how to love. I wasn't shown what love was in a way that I desired, Right? Like my parents loved me, But they didn't know how to show me in a way that I felt loved because they were so into their own story, Their own drama, Their own lack of self-love that they didn't know how to be there for me in the way a child needs to have their parents. And I know that I did the best that they could. And once I discovered yoga, The beauty about my childhood was I found a deep, Sweet acceptance because I got to realize, You know, My parents are human and they did the best that they could. They did the best that they could for where they were. And I found acceptance, Surrender and unconditional love for my parents and what they gave me. Even though it wasn't the family that I wished for and, You know, As I got older, As I studied yoga more, As I discovered who I was more, I realized that there is no perfect family. We all have, You know, Things we wished would be different or ways in which we had our family show up in the ways that they didn't. And at the end of the day, We're all humans just doing the best that we can in each and every moment. And when we take on that belief, It allows us to create a sense of surrender, Acceptance and less suffering overall. And so, You know, Growing up, I was always the one watching the kids. I was always the babysitter, The one hanging out with the little ones. I even remember back to being three years old and my dad being like, Amber, Put the baby down. Stop mauling the baby. She can't breathe. He can't breathe. Let him go. And it was just like I was just so fascinated. And what I really loved is my ability to connect to children and relate to them, To be able to play with them and hold them. And I was just a really motherly adult as I grew up as well. And being in these relationships, Yes, I wanted to have a child, But it was always like, Not now. I'm not ready. And when I got ready, You know, I lost the baby and I thought, Oh, Maybe I can't have children. And, You know, That miscarriage was actually the breaking turning point of my relationship. So what looked to be like the most devastating thing in my life was actually the biggest blessing because me and my partner decided to split on on decent terms, You know, Like it just wasn't meant to be anymore. And there was two deaths. I had to lose this relationship that I wanted to be in forever. And I had to let go of this baby, This soul that existed in me for some time. So a lot of aparigraha, If you're unfamiliar with aparigraha, It's one of the practices that we dive into in my Live Your Yoga mentorship. And it's this idea of non-attachment. And as being humans, Naturally, We're attached, Right? Like, I don't want to lose my boyfriend. I don't want to lose my baby. I don't want to lose my mom. I don't want to lose my dog. I'm attached to these things. I love them. But how as being a human in this world, Knowing that nothing is forever, Can I surrender some of that attachment and practice letting go? Practice letting go. And so over those years of leaving this relationship after, You know, 13, 14 years being in a consistent relationship, Eight years and then into four or five years, To being alone and realizing like, Wow, I don't love myself. And then discovering like, I don't love myself because I don't even know who I am, Because I spent my whole life trying to make other people happy at first. It was like, How can I make my dad proud? How can I please my parents? Didn't matter what I wanted, What I liked. I just wanted them to be happy and I didn't have an identity. And that took me into like two relationships where I lost my identity there. And it was like, I didn't matter. I was just giving to them and pleasing them and eating what they wanted and doing what they wanted. So then for the first time in my life being alone, 27, Completely alone in a foreign country, I just moved to Costa Rica. And it was like, How can I be in this foreign country alone when I plan to move here and be with this man forever? Who the heck am I and what do I like? Where do I belong? Do I belong here? And it was a deep journey of self-discovery, Self-love and getting to know me, Getting to know who I was and what I wanted and realizing, Oh, My parents didn't love themselves. They didn't teach me self-love. And now I'm here to unwire this pattern of ancestral past that I was born into of lack of self-love. And I was on a journey for three and a half years to love myself, To find out who I was, What I wanted and where I belonged. And I was committed to that scary journey because it didn't matter how many countries I went to, How busy I stayed. When I was starving myself or under eating, I always ended up with myself, But I found myself. I found who I was and what I wanted and where I belonged. And through that journey, I fell in love again. And this love is so different because it's not dependent. I don't need him. He doesn't need me. But the love that we share is just so real and tense. And through that we birthed a child. And it's like, Wow, I have this being within me right now. And if I had my way, I would have been a mom years and years and years ago, But now I'm ready. And I would have been ready then had that been when it came. And so I really feel this non-attachment, A Parigraha practice that I had to let go of my desire. And if you listen to the last episode where we dive into Shakti, Itchashakti and desire, The desire never went away. And I still hold that desire. I still held it within me. But as I held that desire, There was this sense of non-attachment, A Parigraha in my life of like, Yes, I desire to have a child, But I'm also not attached. I came into this place like if having a child wasn't meant for me in this lifetime, I'm okay with that because I've been teaching and helping women around the world practice self-love, Self-care, Learn to love their bodies, Love how they feel. And that for me was enough because I got to mother them and yoga teacher trainings, Yoga retreats, My life coaching that I do online, Sometimes in person when I'm lucky enough to be able to connect with people here in Costa Rica, But I'm still able to be a teacher. So if there's anything that I've learned along the way is that we can hold our Itchashakti, Our desire super close to our heart and know that sometimes those desires come right away. And other times we're not quite ready yet. It's cliche like life gives us what we need, Not what we want. And it's so true. Everything in our life happens when it's supposed to happen. We can set our goals, Take massive action. And as we dive into the Itchashakti, That desire, We weave in a Parigrahha, Non-attachment, Deep sweet surrender to the unknown timing of when that Itchashakti, That desire will manifest because sometimes it doesn't ever manifest and we realize actually I didn't want that after all. And there's this underlying like deep trust and exactly what's supposed to happen with what's supposed to happen will happen. And it's not a matter of when and how. What we have to do is take commitment into that massive action while keeping that desire in our mind and the deep sweet, Just let it go. Put it out there. Take action every single day and trust. Trust that when that desire is meant for you, It will rise. And if it doesn't, There's something even greater on the other side. I tell this to my women in the program all the time around the full moon, We set rituals, You know, New moons are like, Okay, I'm going to create, I'm going to plant seed, Full moons are like, I'm going to let go. So when we come into the new moon, It's like, What is your desire? What is your Itchashakti? What do you want? And how can you want that and also be unattached to when that will come? I know that I've had a dream to own property in Costa Rica now since 2015. Here we are in 2021, Six years later, And that dream stays relevant. It stays present. But I'm not attached, Unattachment. I know that when I meant to own a property here, It will come. And if it doesn't, There's something bigger. And even at one point during the midst of COVID-19, I was like, Oh, That's why I don't own property here in Costa Rica. I'm going to move to Bali. And then the idea of moving to Bali like disappeared once I fell in love with someone that was from Costa Rica. And so what I've learned so much about like getting pregnant, Having this blessing within me at 31 years old is that we can't be attached to when, And we can't focus on the how. We have to have that itch, That shock, That desire with a deep, Sweet practice of non-attachment knowing that like, Yes, There will be struggles. We want what we want when we want it. But how can we lessen the grip just a little bit? Because I've heard of so many women that the moment they're like, Okay, Whether I have a child or not, It's fine. They get pregnant or they adopt a child and then they get pregnant. The moment that they let go is when the blessing arises. The moment that they just give that itch a shock to that desire to the universe. Here it is. So if there's something in your life right now that you're like, Amber, I want this, I want this so bad on the next new moon, I want you to write down, I desire. And I know that it will come to me when it's meant to come to me. And every day I'm going to do something to call that in with the underlying promise to myself of unattachment that I'm going to loosen my grip just a little bit to the how and the when. But I'm committed to take massive action towards my itch towards my desire all the while non attached to the how to the when. Let it come. Let it come when it's meant to come. This is a hard practice. I know. I know from experience. And the more that I classed, The more that I was attached, The more that I wanted, The more I struggled, The more suffering that came. Because it's like, I want it and I want it now. And I also just want to bring up the fact that like we live in a world now instant gratification. What do you want? All you got to do is look on the internet, Buy it on the internet, It's here tomorrow. We are so absorbed in a culture in a world in 2021, Where whatever you want, You get it now. And life just doesn't work that way. It doesn't because it creates this idea of instant gratification, And also instant suffering. So notice if there is for you this attachment to now, Or if you're stuck on this, Like I want this, But I don't know how it's gonna happen. Because it's like I knew that I wanted to be in love. I knew I wanted to get married. I knew I wanted to have a family. And I started to question, You know, Three and a half years being single. Maybe I meant to just be a life coach, A yoga teacher, And someone that teaches other people. Maybe I'm not meant to have a family. Maybe I meant to be alone. And I was okay with that. Like I really was like there wasn't this like, I need a partner. I need to have a family. I was so content with being in my own that there it was. The moment that I was so full and rich on being alone, There it was. And so if there's anything that I've learned in this miracle now is that things come in time. And not everything will manifest when you want it to. So how can you in your world, In your life, You know, Grab your journal now or you can check out the show notes for these couple of journal questions. How can you desire something and at the same time release your attachment to receiving it? How can you practice right now letting go of when and how and focus more on what it is that you want and how it is you can become the woman that you need to become to live that through manifestation. It just Saki bringing and creating a world that you desire in your life. It's feeling it in the moment. So what I want to do now is dive into a feeling meditation. We'll go for about seven minutes with a little time afterwards for reflection. So if you'd like you can come back to this podcast later to do the integration. Remember that I always like to remind you I'm giving you information. I'm giving you my own wisdom and in order for you to take what I'm sharing this knowledge this information and turn it into your own wisdom, Your own knowing it has to be practiced. I can share with you all the ways to take your yoga off the mat and live it in the world. But unless you implement it and take massive action, You're just listening. What we need now is integration implementation and massive action. So my invitation is to come into a comfortable seated position where we can begin to implement manifestation meditation, Turning our wants, Needs and desires into our reality first through using the power of our minds. Sukhasana, Easy seated pose, Knees bent, One ankle in front of the other. Shift your body forward back side to side and then place your hands onto your thighs near your knees where your elbows can relax back by your ribcage. From this foundational posture, Root into your legs and begin to lengthen lift up through your spine out through the crown of your head. Allow your eyes to close and begin to turn your awareness into your mind with your attention on your breath. Breathe in and out of your nose. As you settle into this space, Move your awareness into your heart, The energetic heart that resides in the center of your breasts. Imagine the color green, Pulsating energy like the rhythm of your heartbeat. And allow the question to surface into the forefront of your mind. What is my deepest heart's desire? What is my deepest heart's desire? What do you want more than anything else in the world right now? Observe and notice what is your presence? What has risen? Perhaps it was easy. You know without a doubt exactly what it is you want. Or perhaps you're in a space right now where you're like, I don't know. And allow space for either or, Or somewhere in between. Repeat your intention, Your sankalpa, Your heart's deepest desire in the present tense as if it's already happened. For example, I am a mother. I am a mother. I am a mother. If you desire to be a mom, I am financially wealthy. I am financially wealthy. I am financially wealthy. If your desire is to create financial success and abundance. Or perhaps right now you're working on health. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life. Repeat your mantra to yourself in your mind's eye three times in the present tense as if it's already here, As if it's already manifested. And then your desire. It's here. It's already happened. And you're currently living it. How do you feel? When you wake up in the morning, Live in your heart's deepest desire to be a mom, To be financially set, To be healthier than you've ever been in your whole life. How does it feel to be living your deepest heart's desire? Now feel it in the blood, In the bones, In your entire being. Feel the emotion as if it's already happening. What will you do when you wake up in the morning and how will it make you feel? What kind of conversations will you be having? Who will you be talking to and what will you be talking about? Envision your dream here now. Feel it in your bones and imagine your life as it were already here in this very moment. Live it in your mind. Picture it. Feel it. Be it now. Be it now. You're living it. You're feeling it. You're existing it already happened. Play out a perfect day in your mind right now from the moment that you wake up to the moment that you go to bed. Picture your ideal day and as you allow these pictures to come up into the mind's eye, Notice colors, People, Details so much that you feel this happening right now. Be it now. Be it now. Be it now. Be it now. Be it now. And then come back into this space through the awareness of your heart, The beat, The rhythm and your physical body. Notice the journey that you just took yourself on and as you feel this moment, Take yourself back into the space that you're sitting now. As you begin to open your eyes and prepare to take yourself into your day and as you begin to step one foot in front of the other, Take this vision with you. First, We begin to listen. We take in information. Then we take the practice and we start to implement it into our mind, Feel it in our body and now it's massive action. Go out there and take one action step towards turning your dream into reality now. Kriya Shakti. Live it. Do it. Be it. You've got this and if there's anything I could invite you to do now from here is that every single morning envision your dream here now. Feel it in your bones and then take massive action into achieving it. Live your life as though it's already here because it is. It's just your next breath. It's close. It's coming and if we can surrender to the timeframe of when it comes and we can just live in the moment as if it's here, As if it's ours and take massive action every day. One day you will wake up and everything that's around you will be what you once dreamed of. Journal about it. Envision it in your mind and take massive action. Head out into the PDF to get some of the journal questions to follow up with this activity. Mind mapping, Feeling it in your body, Living it as though it's here and I will see you, Hear you. If you're on Facebook, Instagram, Go ahead and share this with a friend. Tag me. I'll share you with my followers as well and we'll continue to grow this space where we live our lives as though we're dreaming because we can create humans. Ladies, We can create our lives in any which way we desire. I'm rooting for you. I'm cheering you on because I know you hear your listening. You're a massive action taker and I can't wait to hear what you're turning into reality now. I'll see you on the next show. And I want to thank you. I really appreciate you tuning in and listening to this podcast. It's an honor to know that people are listening and gaining value while generating their own insights. For more actionable tools and practices, Head over to my Facebook group, Www. Facebook. Com slash groups slash yoga for inner peace to learn more practices that you can put into your toolbox to reduce stress, Build confidence and create a community of other women who are like you wanting to better their lives to better their communities. Thank you again for being here and if you're on social, Post a photo of you listening to this and tag me Amber Hackberg so we can hang out online and continue growing this relationship first from the inside and then from the outside. I'll see you on the next episode.