Moving from Self-Judgement To Wholeness & Self-Acceptance

When we find ourselves being hard on ourselves or judging ourselves against certain expectations, how do we return to acceptance? We will explore the idea of 'wholeness,' self-acceptance and self-compassion as we look to accept all of who we are with love and receptivity.

Transcript

Thanks for joining me for this quick talk.

We're just going to have a quick little exploration of the idea of self-acceptance and wholeness.

And moving from self-judgment and the self-doubt and the inner monologue that usually questions ourself and maybe brings us down.

And how do we move from that state to bring maybe a quality of self-acceptance and love and compassion towards ourselves to help us move through our daily lives.

So Mark Twain said that the worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

I don't know for myself that many times where I'm in a state of discomfort with either what I'm doing or the career path that I'm taking or how I'm relating to certain people.

And it brings up this inner conflict within myself.

This not liking of who I am in certain situations.

And it's very easy to get caught up in this pattern in the modern world where there is so much information and so much access to things to compare ourselves to.

And so let's just explore for a moment what it might be like and how can we bring a level of compassion and self-acceptance.

Firstly I wanted to explore the idea of happiness versus wholeness and in our meditation pursuit,

In this pursuit to quieten the mind,

Clarify the mind.

Very often our goal is to reach a state of happiness and to be constantly in a state of joy or bliss or an under.

And maybe this isn't what we're actually seeking and maybe constantly seeking these good feelings so to speak is actually avoiding a very part of our human expression that needs our attention.

A very part of our human expression that is coming up because we've avoided in the first place.

And so maybe this idea of wholeness and accepting all of who we are,

So being okay with the stuff that hurts,

The stuff that's painful,

The stuff that's annoying,

The stuff that makes us sad.

Instead of dancing around this in a way and always trying to return to the happiness and the good feelings,

How can we learn to love all of who we are?

How can we learn to love the wholeness of who we are?

Carl Jung says that the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.

Is to be okay with all of who we are,

To realize that that thing I do that really upsets myself and others that actually is part of myself.

I'm not going to neglect that,

I'm not going to suppress that,

I'm not going to call that that or wrong.

I'm going to be okay with that,

I'm going to accept it.

And yes we can move forward,

Yes we can grow from it,

But it's definitely not helpful to be down on ourselves in the meanwhile.

And so is there something at the moment that pulled you to listen to this talk?

Is there something that maybe you're a little bit down on about yourself or that you're judging yourself for?

And just bring that to mind.

And then as if you've placed that thing in your hand out in front of you,

Can you look at that thing with a smile in your eyes,

With a smile in your mouth?

And just start to bring a gentle receptivity,

A gentle compassion towards it.

And just notice it slowly coming closer,

Bringing your hand closer towards yourself,

Your heart.

Bringing it inwards,

Not dissociating from this thing and labeling it as wrong or right anymore,

But starting to own it,

Starting to bring it in.

Because we start to feel more whole,

We start to feel more complete when we bring in these aspects of ourselves.

And so can we cultivate an attitude of saying yes to what arises in ourselves all the time and not neglecting parts of ourselves?

Can we bring a quality of friendliness and acceptance to all of who we are?

Because we have to know that this choosing of bits of ourselves that we want to express and bits of ourselves that we want to suppress,

That's really what leads to this sense of suffering is this difference in expectation and reality.

The expectation that I should feel this way and the way that I'm feeling isn't that,

So that's bad.

But the reality is that I'm feeling this way,

So I'm going to choose to be available to this feeling.

I'm going to choose to accept and say yes to this feeling.

And so with this part of yourself that maybe you're judging or labeling as a certain way,

Firstly that's okay,

That's totally normal and totally understandable.

But then can you start to look at it and observe it with a gentle smile,

With a gentle receptivity,

Saying yes to it and bringing it in?

And just notice how maybe that fills a part of yourself,

How that fills some part of yourself that maybe was empty or a little bit left out before.

And so I'm just going to close with a quote by Lao Tzu.

And I just invite you to notice whenever it is you're being hard on yourself,

When something's not perfect,

Something's not the way you wanted it to be,

Something didn't turn out how you thought it might.

Just notice and just start to accept,

Start to say yes,

Start to be available to how life is showing up at the moment with always a gentle smile.

And so Lao Tzu said,

Because one believes in oneself,

One doesn't try to convince others,

Because one is content with oneself,

One doesn't need others' approval,

Because one accepts oneself,

The whole world accepts him or her.

And so I hope that this was just a gentle exploration of the idea of returning to wholeness and accepting the whole self so that we can start to reintegrate the parts of ourselves that have needed our love for a long time and start to move forward in the world with more empowerment,

With more self-acceptance so that we can be more available to life and be more available to those around us who also need love.

So thank you and please enjoy a day full of acceptance and full of gentle compassion towards yourself.

Reviews

Short and sweet. Quoting wisdom from around the world, the invitation is gentle but compelling. Thank you

I enjoyed the shift of attention from focusing on happiness to focusing on my wholeness. It makes sense to shift attention to my own inner struggles and explore the inner challenges in a way of living authentically in my own reality. Seems very easy to do all this until the inner critic shows up and that is where this practice comes into play to meet myself and my inner critic compassionately. I feel softer with my inner critic being able to express the feelings so I am not pushing the difficult stuff away but instead facing things with love and kindness.

Don’t label it - just own it. Profound ❤️ Accept all of me. Much gratitude ❤️🪷

Lovely talk for those of us who always feel the need to be striving to be something other than who we are. Much appreciate the reminder we can just be who we are now and continue to grow.

Thank you for this talk. I’m starting to realize that it all begins with me. If I accept myself, I accept others. I’m compassionate towards myself. I’m compassionate towards others. 🐞🦄☀️💜💛🤍🐞🦄☀️💜💛🤍🐞💛💜

This was a really good talk. I’m going to need to listen to this again a few times.

THIS! I need more and appreciate every word, idea and suggestion. Thank you.

Thank you for this beautiful practice of accepting the whole self. I like the way you talk as if you're talking with a friend, very approachable and relatable. Have a beautiful day.
🍀☀️🙏🏾

My “go to” morning meditation to set me up for the day! 🙏🏻

That is what I truly needed. Thanks so much for the wonderful wisdom that we can apply on a daily basis

Just perfect in a moment of need and extremely helpful! Loved the quotes too! Thank you very much. 🙏🏽💚🌟☀️🌟💚

Got a lot from this short talk, how it's important to accept one, whole. Thank you 🙏

Very smart, short talk on self acceptance confirming my thoughts about this topic, thank you Al🙏💓

Pleasant and gentle. A good reminder when feeling down on one's self.

I enjoyed listening. I am sure I will send again. Acceptance is the key thank you

Identifying something in ourself does not require a campaign of change, but the gentle forgiving loving kindness we would give to others. Thank you.

You are a great teacher. You have helped me to open my eyes to something, I have been punishing myself for, for a life time. And I am a senior citizen. It’s been many years of pain. I have hated myself for being naïve. During this meditation I accepted my naivety with warmth and compassion. Thank you.

Exceptional, thank you 💛✨

WONDERFUL... wishing you EXTRAORDINARILY EPIC SUCCESS! Thank you for sharing... Elle💕

This was great! I especially appreciated the quote from Lao Tsu where he says because you accept and are at ease with yourself, the whole world accepts you, too. That is reassuring. I also liked the way you started with your own experience and thus it seems realistic and practical. and also the notion that by smiling upon and bringing towards us the parts of ourselves we’ve been rejecting, we feel more whole and I’ll add, more loved. I’m understanding this better and feeling better. Thank you.