Perceived Projection

What happens when someone is uncomfortable with something you're doing because they say that they're "worried" about what others will think of you? Here is a real-life example when I was faced with this very perceived projection, how I handled it, and how I came out of it with more confidence than I ever imagined.

Transcript

Hey,

Welcome back.

It's Allison with shift today with Allison.

Today's episode is about perception,

Kind of like vein perception,

But perception in general,

So stay tuned.

Greetings and welcome back.

Thank you so much for joining me.

So today I have a just an example of something that happened to me recently.

I wanted to share it's about perception.

And perception is basically an observation of what's happening around you.

Projection is something that it's almost like perception versus projection.

Or maybe the perception of projection is really probably a better way to describe this.

This little thing that happened to me recently.

So I met a girlfriend for lunch,

And we haven't seen each other in a very long time.

She's one of the first people I met when I moved here to Little Rock and she's,

She is a force to be reckoned with,

I guess is a good way to put it.

She's a she has many balls in the air and they confuse me but it's her journey.

She's on not mine.

So anyway,

She reached out we finally after probably about a year,

I haven't seen her in about a year.

We met for lunch and were able to sit outside and enjoy a glorious day.

It's the sun has been shining here.

We've had 50 and 60 degree weather.

It's it's really been nice.

I would love some snow but hey,

You know,

It is what it is.

So anyway,

So we were sitting outside,

Having a great lunch and typically this kind of relationship is one where I do a lot of listening in this relationship and I learned a lot about just,

I don't know,

Anyway,

Many things.

And so we,

She was going down the laundry list of all these amazing things she's doing and what's coming up and what's going on with her kids and you know this and that and the other and we are sharing I was sharing pointers of some things that I've been doing with our boys and she's got boys as well.

Anyway,

So then she asked me she's like,

Okay,

So I need to ask you something and I could tell it was like,

What is she gonna ask me?

Because this is weird.

Like,

She will ask me a question,

But then kind of finish it for me.

That's she tends to do that a lot,

But whatever.

So she asked me she's like,

So I've noticed on social media,

You're doing these like card readings.

What does that mean?

Like,

What is that?

And what does that mean?

And I'm like,

Why are you asking me and that's interesting.

And I said,

Yeah,

I am.

And I don't do it that often.

I just kind of do it when I feel called to do it.

And I,

You know,

Kind of explain there's different kinds of cards,

And there's Oracle cards and tarot cards and different decks by different people.

And there's different ways to read them.

And some represent chakras and some represent angels and animal spirits and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And I'm like,

It's just one of those tools in your toolbox.

Sometimes you just need something some kind of guidance to just wake you up and see what's in front of you.

And that's all really I use cards for.

I'm not like,

Oh,

My God,

My cards that I used to be like that I'm not anymore.

Now,

They're just really like,

Oh,

Look at this as a moment.

And this just brought this up.

And sometimes it's a really good feel good.

And I'm called to share.

So that's why I share I said,

I don't pull cards all the time.

And,

And she said,

Well,

You know,

I,

I could tell she was a little uncomfortable.

And I'm like,

What is it?

And she's like,

Don't you?

And I can't remember exactly what she said.

But the whole gist of it was,

Aren't you worried about what other people are going to think?

Like,

I don't want people thinking weird,

Like that.

And she's kind of tripping over her words.

And I'm like,

What?

And she's like,

Well,

I know you don't care.

And I'm like,

No,

Really,

I don't.

It's,

It's no.

And I said,

I'm what I said,

Whatever you're feeling is about you,

Not about me.

Because if you're if this makes you uncomfortable,

Then that's,

That's about you.

Because it doesn't make if it made me uncomfortable,

I wouldn't be sharing.

That's who I am.

I am who I am.

I am the same person,

Whether you're the president of a company,

Or the janitor.

I mean,

I am I,

I that's one thing I am,

I know very much about myself is I am who I am,

I am not going to try to put on an act for anyone.

And I'm very comfortable that way.

I mean,

That's just who I am.

It's taken me a while to get here.

But I'm very,

Very comfortable with with what I'm doing and what I'm sharing.

And,

And I'm like,

And if it makes someone else uncomfortable,

Well,

That's on them,

You know,

And it clearly made her uncomfortable.

And it was so interesting,

Because she was trying to put it on me like,

Well,

Aren't you,

You know,

Like,

What,

What other people think,

You know,

Like,

Oh,

My gosh,

You know,

I don't,

I don't want someone thinking something of you.

And I'm like,

Well,

I kind of want somebody thinking of me so that they'll call and maybe have a session.

And I said,

But the most beautiful part about it is when I do share posts,

When I share my card readings,

Especially,

I get great feedback.

I don't I might not get a lot of likes and shares and comments.

But I do get personal messages through DM and I get personal text messages and I get phone calls from people I know,

Saying,

Wow,

You know what,

Thank you for sharing that I needed that today.

And I really connected with that.

And then it usually leads to an amazing conversation that I might have with them or a few sweet little messages that we share back and forth.

So to me,

Even if it's just gonna brighten someone's day for just a moment,

That's what I'm that's what I'm here for.

That's my goal.

My goal is not to shame anyone.

My goal is not to project my fear on you.

I think I have done that in the past.

I 100% feel like I've done that in the past.

I've done it with my family.

I've done it with my friends.

I know I've done it with my kids.

And I'm really,

Really making an effort to lead with grace and not do that and not be that person and,

And,

You know,

Talk behind your back or,

You know,

Make you frightened of something I post but that again,

That's on you.

You know,

We had I had a post recently of with my kids,

And we're working on this,

This little actually podcast called the art of listening.

And they got in a little tiff the other day.

Evan screamed at Dylan and made Dylan feel really bad.

And,

And then Evan felt really bad.

And,

And I'm like,

Look,

Honey,

You know,

You're who's in charge of your feelings.

And he said me,

And I said,

Who's in charge of your actions?

And he said me.

And I said,

Well,

Who's in charge of Dylan's feelings?

And he said him.

And I said,

Who's in charge of Dylan's actions?

And he said he is.

And I said,

Okay,

There's your answer.

It's right there.

That's where it lies.

You know,

And sometimes we're going to get frustrated with each other.

And sometimes we might get nervous because you say something that I might not be comfortable with,

Or,

Or whatever,

But it is what it is.

And we have to move forward from that.

And it doesn't mean that it's a negative.

But you know,

This is where you pause and you figure out are we going to lead with grace?

Are we going to lead in fear?

Or are we going to project something onto somebody else because that's going to make us feel better.

So anyway,

So just for today,

I hope maybe you can take a moment.

And if you see something that makes you uncomfortable,

Ask someone a question,

Have a conversation,

Learn something new about them.

We are all in a different space.

And social media is just that it's social media.

But when you have a real conversation with someone that is a called a relationship.

Social media is not a relationship.

It isn't for me,

It might be for you,

It might be the closest thing that you have to a close relationship.

But it to me,

It's a source of sharing,

And hopefully sharing positive,

Graceful things to help help boost through your day,

Because that's what I look at on social media.

So anyway,

Just for today,

I hope you are able to take a moment and look and see if you're projecting anything,

Or maybe you're perceiving something in a way that maybe it doesn't matter to somebody else.

And then you need to look at how it's making you feel and why it's making you feel that way.

So anyway,

I hope today you can shift today into a greater tomorrow.

Take care.

Bye bye.

This episode of shift today with Allison was created,

Directed,

Produced,

Edited and written and 100% done by Allison to Hazi.

That's me.

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See you next time.

Reviews

Very insightful. Thanks for sharing that experience. It is about them, not me! I like this idea.