Feelings Are Not Places

This episode of Shift Today with Alison is about shifting emotions away from being a place we are and allowing them to be what we feel, not where we live. At the end of the day and the end of life, do you want to live the life you want to live, or do you want to live a life someone else told you how to live?

Transcript

Well,

Hi there today we're talking about shifting emotions away from being a place where we are and Allowing them to be what we feel again not where we live.

All right.

Stay tuned Welcome back to shift today with Allison I'm your host Allison Shuhazi and I'm here to support you along your journey to connecting with yourself By being true to your intuition,

Which is something we all have Now as always I just like to dive right in so let's just jump into these Feelings and what I'm kind of getting at today.

We don't often talk about this But have you ever thought of a feeling as a place?

Instead of just a feeling I mean actually a lot of people get stuck and think about I am in this place I am in this feeling so here's an example such as I am trapped in my body I am in this place in my life such as I am lonely.

I'm anxious.

I'm in love.

I'm excited I'm worried.

I'm scared.

I'm vulnerable mad angry overwhelmed.

I'm feeling aggressive.

I'm so bored I'm strong Etc right they change all the time But sometimes we actually get stuck in one for too long because these are actually just characteristics Not a place to stay in all right So let's unpack this a little bit more life comes with an abundance of emotions and choices and experience to yield upon Yet we continue to allow negativity to drive our energy and control our power So some people are choosing to build their life around leading with these negative emotions I think what happens is we get into a habit sometimes and we get stuck into this negativity right?

I mean we've all done it I'm not I love the sunny side,

But I have been in my negative emotions at some points So here are a few examples of phrases that you might have heard of maybe you've said yourself such as I'm stuck in this Relationship I'm not good enough.

I'm consumed by grief.

I feel so alone I'm worried about what might happen.

I'm so angry I'm bored with my life Etc Well we tend to hold on so tightly to these negative feelings that we can't find a place for Anything good because again like I said earlier it becomes a habit right these feelings become a habit Right these feelings become a habit and I recently did a space clearing for a friend For their new business and one of the messages that came through Was trapped is a feeling not a place to reside and wow This literally stopped me in my tracks because I could I could connect with this I could relate with this I used to feel this feeling I used to feel trapped in my body and I would say to myself and I would say it out Loud I am trapped in my body That came from a place where I have had many medical challenges throughout my life so many This I still find now I find this really hilarious but necessary I Have a spreadsheet with all of my medical procedures and conditions That I've had over many many years and I need these because I forget what they all are and what a doctor says And you know when you go to see a physician and you have to fill out all of your history and your information I just write see attached and I hand them my spread and they're like wow,

This is very helpful But wow,

You've really been through it.

So I just think that's interesting.

I had to share that little tidbit So let's get back to it if we hear or say something over and over and over We start to believe it or feel it.

So what if we were saying these wow,

You look great today Wow,

I feel so good today.

Wow.

I'm so grateful Wow,

You know yesterday was hard,

But today's gonna be a better day What if we said these positive things instead of the negative?

But what happens is is we tend to get stuck in Saying these negative things to ourself over and over.

I'm lonely I'm no good.

I'm stuck.

I'm trapped.

I'm ugly I'm fat.

I'm old Whatever it is and then we're not really paying attention and Connecting with our intuition and really who we are and who we want to be We're stating and maybe we are of negative Nelly Maybe we are stuck in this horrible place where we don't want anything good to happen and we don't want the sun to shine and we just want to be angry Some people want to be there and I understand that but I don't truly believe everybody wants to stay there That can be just an emotion for a moment Okay So if we hear or say something over and over and over we start to believe and feel it and I didn't really understand this until big I began connecting with my intuition and paying attention to what I say to and about myself Plus listening to how others speak about themselves and about others Really helped me open my eyes to see what we project inward is how we project outward So there's a joke in my family I am in the 2% of people And this is because you know,

If you hear those weird side effects from the drug commercials That's definitely gonna happen to me.

Even if I don't take the drug It's gonna happen to me I've just had some crazy stuff happen to me.

Anyway,

We my husband's always like yeah.

Yeah,

She's the 2% for sure For a while.

I did laugh at this joke But yet it's really not funny But I have begun to shift that feeling and now I realize I am in a different part of 2% I'm in a 2% of people who believe in the positive I believe in the sunny side and I no longer let my feelings drive me to a place and stay there Yet I realistically manage my emotions and I know what my choices are And I know what my choices are and how to embrace them because they do not control me I control them.

I say this to my kids all the time We have to remember that we are in control of our feelings and how we feel about something Somebody might have done something to us might have been intentional or unintentional Something might have happened and we are allowed to have those feelings Same with the person on the other side You are in control of your feelings period Nobody else is in control of your feelings And if you are allowing someone else to be in control of your feelings Well guess what?

I'm you So we all have choices.

It is all about choices A feeling is a sensation,

It's an attitude,

It's a perception and it's an opinion And if you continue to use negative words to describe yourself,

Your situation,

Everything around you And only see the negative,

Well guess what?

Your life is going to suck and sucky things will continue happening to you It's true,

It's just,

I mean,

Right?

Now let's shift a little bit.

Have you ever heard of manifesting?

Now manifesting is something that you embody,

You express,

You personify You really understand because you know what you're going after You recognize and you connect with it So if you're focused on the negative,

Guess what?

That is what's going to continue to happen in your life and to you And you're going to continue to feel that way However,

If you can shift your mindset to find something positive Or a lesson that will enhance your situation Then you'll begin to feel and receive the higher and more positive vibration That will start to shift your life forward towards the sunny side So for example,

My statement about being trapped in my body When I realized what I was saying,

Not just to myself But I was speaking it out loud when I would describe myself I instantly did start to change my mindset to,

Here's what I try to say to myself now I really work on this I will do the very best I can to nourish and honor the body that continues to carry me through this life It has carried me through many adventures and it has given me two amazing boys And I will continue to cherish it until my time comes to an end I'm going to honor this body that I have It has carried me through so much But if I keep saying I'm trapped,

Guess what?

I'm going to feel trapped and things are going to continue happening to me Are things still happening to me?

Yes,

They are But I'm no longer looking at the negative I'm like,

Whoops,

I guess I just got to slow down a little bit And then I nourish my body,

I rest and then I keep going So there you go,

There's a little example If everything is negative and you continue to complain and choose the negative Then your life will continue to suck because of your choices That word suck,

It's just kind of fun to say sometimes Yet so many of us continue to project blame on someone or something else And forget that we have choices If we are not acknowledging our part in this world and what we do And what our behaviors and actions might do to someone else Then we're going to continue feeling the negative And guess what?

This is a huge issue when we're talking about children This is a learned behavior So as adults,

We need to be mindful and remember that our kids learn from us So if we are being negative and we are angry with them for being negative Guess where they heard it from We need to turn that around And I can tell you what,

We have made a huge about face with that in our household Especially over COVID when we were all stuck together all the time So there you go So remember to choose mindfully how you express your feelings Okay,

So let's just be realistic here I'm not saying every day is filled with rainbows and sunshine Because in reality,

Life will provide challenges and bad things happen But I do believe that most days are lovely and are gift And I choose to lead with patient intention and calming energy So that I receive it in return So if you're feeling trapped in your body or maybe a relationship If you're feeling alone or abandoned If you're feeling anxious or helpless If you're feeling angry or overwhelmed Whatever you are feeling My suggestion is Feel it Feel it,

Get deep Don't ignore it Because if you don't feel it,

You can't move through it Feel it so much that you get tired of the feeling And then find a moment to sit with these emotions And ask yourself a few questions Ask yourself If I don't want to feel this way any longer,

What do I want to feel?

Sometimes I believe people forget how good they want to feel And they just want to be negative Here's another question to ask yourself What can I change to make these feelings become something that makes me feel good?

Makes me feel great,

Makes me feel positive And here's another question for you Who can help me shift these feelings?

Because we're always looking for an answer,

Right?

We don't want to look within We want to project out,

We want to look out We want to look around Where's the latest book?

The latest podcast?

Where's the latest talk?

Where's the latest quote?

Where's the latest whatever?

Well,

There's only one person who can hold the answer to all these questions And that is you Not your best friend Not your husband Not your therapist Not your mom No one You have the answers you need,

Okay?

Remember how I mentioned power earlier?

Do you believe that you need help to navigate this thing called life?

Well,

The answer hopefully is yes Because I believe that too Even though I said you hold all the answers I do believe we are a tribe and we do need to help each other However,

Remember this At the end of the day and at the end of life Do you want to live the life you want to live?

And be known for living the life that you wanted to live?

Or do you want to live a life someone else told you how to live?

Stop looking for approval and validation on all of the questions that you have You know the answer Grow,

Pull in,

Hold on to your power So that you feel confident in the answers You don't have to be There's a difference between confident and cocky Don't be that person who's just a bulldozer and pushing people over Everyone's going to be a bulldozer at some point But if you need some help,

Ask for a little bit of help Don't take your problem to a whole group of friends to talk about somebody else If you're having an issue with someone else Call that person and talk to them If you were friends at one point and they said something that offended you Talk it through If not,

Move on It's not someone else's problem So recently If you haven't heard,

I turned the big 5-0 Yep,

50 And I used to think it was old Now I think it's terrific Well,

No,

That's not true I think everyone says that Somebody said to me,

50 is the new 30 And I'm like,

God,

I hope not 50 is 50,

It is what it is But here's something I started thinking about So talk about feelings So why is it that we joyfully celebrate someone And a couple who has been married 50 years,

If they've been together 50 years or more Or whatever Yet when somebody turns 50 They're like,

Oh my God,

They might feel crappy about themselves I can't believe I'm 50 I hear this from a lot of friends I have very few friends who are now turning in their 50s Like,

Woo,

Celebrating It's more like,

Oh my God,

I can't believe I'm 50 I'm like,

Yes,

I'm looking up AARP and see what kind of discounts I can get Well,

This all comes with society And we all teach each other these negative things But here's something else somebody just recently said to me Have you heard of midlife crisis?

Okay,

I don't think it's used as much as it used to be used But listen to the words Like if you are in your 50s or 40s,

Wherever you are And you're like,

Oh,

So and so is having a midlife crisis We're already pushing a negative thought on them Yeah,

I don't like to do that So I guess that means I am in the 2% Because I have enjoyed celebrating my 50s And I'm just excited for my next chapter I'm still celebrating Well,

We've talked about a lot today I've given you a lot to chew on in this podcast And I'm so excited to be back here But just for today,

Here's a closing thought Just for today,

What is the feeling that you have That you've maybe been stuck in And you've been giving this feeling so much power And you feel trapped in it You are in this place and whether it's grief,

Sadness,

Loneliness Whatever it is Maybe it's time to shift away from And move it to a more positive direction So how is that,

How can you maybe find a word to change Find a new pattern to try out How to release something Maybe you need to change something you're doing I don't know,

Everything is different for everyone And I don't have the answer to everything But I think we all have the answer to exactly what we need inside of us So at this time when you're going through this When you're trying to be When you are actively moving forward Remember the number one thing to do is to be patient with yourself Things don't click and happen overnight Be kind with yourself Your intuition is always,

Always going to be there to support you If you are willing to listen And listen with a gentle ear So as always,

I wish you all the best And I hope that you can shift today into a greater tomorrow Bye bye This episode of Shift Today with Allison Was created,

Directed,

Produced,

Edited and written And 100% done by Allison Chuhazi That's me If you enjoyed this episode I would love it if you would subscribe Share this with a friend Rate and or review wherever you listen to your podcasts And just end up having a beautiful day See you next time Thank you for watching

Reviews

Yes, yes, yes!! I learned about you from Pam Sherman and I’m so happy I did!!
Can’t wait to listen to more of your talks!

Helpful reminder that emotions aren't brick-and-mortar places, so feel them completely and fully... then when you're ready, let them go!

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This is awesome! Thank you so much for this amazing gift!!
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