Return To Self 3: Receiving The Life You Want

In this session, we explore one of the deeper questions behind manifestation: can you actually receive the life you say you want?

It’s easy to desire love, money, peace, purpose, or a new chapter. But receiving those things often asks something deeper of us on an identity level. It might ask us to become more open, more present, more visible, more committed, and more willing to stay with the discomfort of change.

We’ll look at this gap between wanting a new life and actually being available to step into it, why we often sabotage ourselves, and how to expand your capacity to hold what life is trying to give you. We’ll do a simple practice to look at one desire, notice what happens when you imagine actually receiving it, and gently explore what would help you stay open to it.

If you're new to this series and want to listen to the other tracks as they’re released, visit my profile to explore the curated "Return to Self" playlist.

Transcript

You may want to manifest something beautiful, Something awe-inspiring. Something that brings more meaning and purpose into your life. But can you receive what comes along with it? Hey there, Friend. Welcome to part three of the Return to Self series. In part two of this work, We explored how desire is not only about the thing you want, It's also information pointing you to a state of being. That state points to an identity. And that identity points to the part of you trying to come alive through the desire. And what happens when we have a desire? Well, From there, We usually turn toward manifestation. How do I call it in? How do I take the right steps? How do I become the type of person who can manifest what I want? But there is another question we never ask that becomes more important once our desire gets close enough to feel real. Can I actually receive what comes along with it? Because it's one thing to want something. To want more money. To want the new relationship, Or doing the work that feels more true. It's another thing to stay open when someone pays you, When intimacy gets close, When people respond to what you're building and sharing. Or when the desire asks you to stop hiding behind the role people already know you for. So wanting something gives your desire a name, That's important, But receiving it tests your identity. Because when the life you want starts to become real, It usually axed a lot of you. It will likely ask you to become more visible. More responsible. More supported by others, Perhaps. More reachable by others. Or simply more willing to let life change. And that is where we enter from today. Can I stay open? When this desire starts to come toward me. Can I stay open? When the new life starts to emerge. To really see this. Imagine your life as a container. The grander your dreams. The richer the experiences you crave, The larger that container has to become. Because you can only comfortably hold what already feels familiar, Safe, And allowed in your current life. That container, Though, Is not just your mindset. It is your very identity, Your emotional baseline. Your assumptions about yourself, About other people, About how the world works, And what your body recognizes as safe. So when your desire starts to come towards you, When that new life starts to ask its way in, It will stretch you. It will stretch more than just your schedule and your routine. It will stretch the whole self. The whole self that has been living inside the life you already know. So for example, A new relationship may ask you to stay present with intimacy. The desire for more money may trigger pressure, Guilt, Or responsibility. Peace may feel strange to you. If urgency has been the state of being, Your body knows best. You may want a new life. You may feel a new life calling you in your bones. But the parts that come with it can still stretch what your system knows how to hold. So this is about cultivating capacity. That means the goal is not to force the new life, Not to force what you desire into the same container. It's to build a bigger container, Little by little, Expanding the part of you that can receive what you want. Let's use the example of wanting to do more purpose-driven work. So you may want to share your ideas, Perhaps start a business, Teach what you know, Create or build something you're passionate about. But the moment that desire gets real, It brings exposure. People can now see what you are creating. They can respond to what you are sharing. Money will come into the equation. Expectations will increase. That purpose-driven work will most certainly ask you to become more reachable, More visible, And more committed than you had to be when the desire merely lived only in your head. That is your capacity to receive getting stretched in real time. Because you are not only receiving the opportunity to do that purposeful work, You are receiving being seen as the person doing it, And people having a response to you as that identity. That's a whole lot heavier than actually doing the thing. So when part of you pulls back or hesitates when it's time to work towards your goal, That hesitation may be trying to protect you from the exposure, Or the intensity, Or feelings of vulnerability, Or just the changes that come with receiving what you said you wanted. This is where receiving becomes identity work. Because your resistance to receiving is pointing you to the identity that's being axed a step forward. So now the question becomes, What identity is your resistance to receiving what you want pointing you toward? Here is a simple practice to help you see where your capacity to receive is being stretched. You can do this in your mind's eye right now, Or just grab something to write with to capture your answers. So start by bringing to mind something that has been calling you, Something that has been nudging you for a while, That you feel excited about, Yet scared or hesitant to fully step into and own. Bring that desire into focus. And name it simply. You might say, I want this relationship. I want this purposeful work. I want to start this business. I want financial freedom. I want to be seen. Whatever it is. Just date it? And own it. Because when you say something. . . And even if you write it down, That's a declaration of ownership. You are owning this desire. Now, Once you've identified your desire and you named it, Take a deep breath. And ask yourself, Am I truly open, Receptive, And willing to allow this? Then wait. Take another deep breath. Am I truly open, Receptive, And willing to allow this? The mind may answer quickly. Or give your body a moment. Notice if something tightens, Something opens, Pulls you back. Now let's get to the more honest questions. What would feel hardest to receive? This desire. If this actually arrived, What would feel the hardest to receive it? What part of you might feel exposed, Stretched, Or overwhelmed? Maybe it's being seen. Maybe it's being loved more directly. Maybe it's the pressure of money coming in. Expectations that you never had a face before. Maybe it means people will relate to you differently. Just name that tension explicitly. Now I want you to scan your life and look for the subtle ways you reinforce the identity of someone who resists receiving when life is trying to give you something. And to locate those moments, You might ask yourself, Where do I downplay myself? Where do I deflect a compliment? Where do I minimize an opportunity? Where do I delay or disappear? Or make myself hard to reach. You are going for awareness here. No judgment. So just to quickly recap, If you're writing this down right now, This could be helpful. You can make two lists here, Side by side. One being, If your desire actually arrived, What would feel hardest to receive it? And then your other list, Locate all the ways in your life you reinforce the identity of someone who resists receiving. When life is about to give you something. Again, This is merely for awareness. It is a way to see the exact place where receiving starts to feel unsafe. And now once you locate the places where receiving stops feeling safe, Give yourself one simple statement that you can begin to practice the opposite. You may say something simple like this, I am capable of receiving what I desire. I am capable of holding more. I am safe to be seen as I am. Choose words that resonate the most with you. And allow them to honor the part of you that wants to come forward. And finally, Let's bring this all back to the core of our work here, Identity. Ask yourself, What self would I need to practice being? To receive what I desire without shrinking, Sabotaging, Or running away. That is the real practice. Not forcing yourself past the resistance, But noticing the identity your desire is asking you to step into. So this return to self-work is partly about the life you want. Asking to arrive, But it is also asking for the version of you who can receive it, Hold it, And remain present inside it. So again, The question remains. Can I stay open when life starts to come toward me? When the new life starts to emerge.