Hello,
I'm Wendy and I'm so glad you're here.
Welcome to my short talk on sleep wellness.
Our mind and bodies need sleep for daily recovery.
That's when all the internal magic happens.
In this talk,
I,
A recovering insomniac,
Will discuss some of the things I did to change a lifelong pattern of poor sleep.
I'm not sure where you rank sleep on your general mental wellness scale,
But for me,
It's very high.
I'd say 80 to 90%.
As a child,
I was very active and suffered undiagnosed ADHD or something similar.
I would go and go all day and still be wide awake in the bed at night.
My child brain thought that if I did the bicycle exercise in the bed,
It would tire me out.
It did not.
As I became a teen and young adult,
The stresses of that era once again made sleep difficult.
Then came motherhood,
Which completely destroyed any thoughts of sleep.
As the children grew,
My mother's anxiety kept me from ever having a proper night's rest.
When they became teens,
The full-blown insomnia hit.
It was the simplest conversations,
Interactions with others,
Future worries,
Past mistakes,
Money thoughts,
Meal prep.
I mean,
You name it,
I thought about it,
Ruminated about it,
And worried about it.
I stayed awake for nights on end,
Being so hard on myself for not being able to shut down like I was some kind of a computer or an oven.
My physical health suffered.
My mental health suffered.
My emotional health suffered.
And to be perfectly honest,
The people I love the most suffered.
Even as I began my mental wellness journey,
I was still finding it extremely difficult to let the day's events go when I hit the bed.
I tried counting sheep and just counting.
If monkey mind took over,
I would start at one again.
It just was not working.
Here on Insight Timer,
There's an enormous collection of sleep tracks,
And I didn't know where to start.
Within the first few months,
I found Insight Timer teacher Kenneth Soares.
His nightly meditations were very helpful because they're quite long.
For me,
That was a key,
As the short ones would not outlast my racing thoughts.
Over time,
I could definitely feel my mind slowing down quicker,
But was still awake after a two-hour recording.
I started to listen to some live events here,
And sleep seems to come up quite regularly.
I,
Of course,
Took notes,
Mental and paper ones.
I was thinking to try each thing folks suggested and see if it could help.
I mean,
After a lifetime of poor sleep,
It really couldn't hurt.
All right,
Here's what I'm gonna say.
Grab yourself a pen and jot down a few ideas that you may want to try.
Some things you may not be able to try for whatever reason,
But who knows?
Maybe there's one thing here that you didn't think of,
And that's the one key you needed to unlock a better night's sleep.
Number one.
Starting my day,
The very first thing I do each day to ensure a better night's rest is get up.
By that,
I mean as soon as the alarm rings or you wake up naturally,
Get out of the bed.
Don't scroll the news or apps on your phone while you're still in bed.
Now,
During my life,
I've mostly been a bedmaker,
But now I'm sure to do it as soon as I get out,
So I'm not tempted to get back in.
Number two.
During the day,
I will not have any caffeine after 2 p.
M.
I used to have coffee around 4 30 or 5 because,
You know,
I thought I needed the boost.
I don't.
Number three.
For me,
Napping is completely off the table.
Even if I feel like I wouldn't fall asleep,
I just won't lay down in the sleeping position.
Number four.
Exercise of any kind.
If you're able to,
Then move some each day.
Could mean yoga,
A dog walk,
Some good stretching while doing chores like unloading the dishwasher,
Hanging laundry,
Or vacuuming,
But not too close to bedtime because your body and mind will need wind-down time after exercise.
Number five.
Fresh air.
Even cold air from outside for a few minutes is okay.
Step outside if you're able.
Look up at the sun or sky and just breathe it in.
Better still if there's trees nearby.
Number six.
I try to cook and get dinner eaten and cleaned up at least three hours before bed because tummies need wind-down time too.
Number seven.
After dinner,
The whole house gets dimmed lights.
No more use of the bright overhead lights,
Just subtle candle type or warm low wattage bulbs.
Number eight.
At 8 p.
M.
,
All of my handheld devices are set to turn off the blue light that runs in the background.
This light has been proven to keep your mind in an active mode.
Number nine.
At 10 p.
M.
,
All the devices go to black and white for even softer viewing.
Number ten.
I have a nightly drink of chamomile tea or maybe milk if it's warmer outside.
There's lots of drinks that promote better sleep.
Find one you like.
Number eleven.
I set and try hard to keep a reasonable bedtime.
For me,
That's between 10 30 and 11 as my dogs get up between 6 45 and 8.
Number twelve.
When I go to bed before I even lay down,
I set an intention of good night's sleep.
I try to say to myself,
The worries or stresses of the day can rest now too.
We can meet again upon awakening for another day of recognition and review and then I say whatever gratitudes or prayers to the universe and I get tucked in.
Number thirteen.
I do not watch TV nor do I read in bed.
I love to read but I find I'm way too excited to find out what might happen next to ever get to sleep.
Number fourteen.
As in the morning,
I do not scroll news or apps in bed.
I will play an insight timer Yoga Nidra as the words and the mental actions completely free my mind from my own thoughts.
Number fifteen.
One of the biggest things for me was getting back to sleep after the nightly toilet breaks.
The first thing is to forgive what or whomever woke you.
Whether it was the kids,
The dog,
The snoring partner,
Your bladder,
The neighbors,
Or Sunder.
Feeling mad or angry in the middle of the night just wakes us up more.
I found that saying out loud to myself,
It's alright Wendy.
You'll be okay if you do or don't get back to dreamland.
It seems to work most nights.
Giving myself permission to go either way allows me to feel ease enough to just fade right back out.
Of course there are many tracks here on insight timer that can also help.
I'm happy to recommend some great sleep and back to sleep tracks if you'd like.
Just send me a message or put it in my group,
Wendy Windu's Saturday Social.
There are nights when the things have all been done and sleep is still somewhat difficult.
But self-compassion comes in here and helps to relieve the building up of lies.
It's okay if you don't get right back to sleep Wendy.
You still have worth and value.
There are also times when I choose to stay a few extra minutes in bed because my lovely husband brought me a coffee or breakfast,
Or maybe dinner was cooked and eaten a little bit later,
Or the bedtime could not be followed because we were out.
But I can still do all the other listed things to bring ease and compassion around sleep wellness.
You're invited to set whatever margins you feel comfortable with.
I have found for me making sleep a top-tier priority has vastly improved my overall mood,
My mental and emotional well-being,
And my relationship with self and others.
I am now a wonderful sleeper.
I truly hope you can be too.
Take advantage of the huge array of tracks on Insight Timer.
You could be read a story,
Listen to nature,
Do a yoga nidra,
Immerse yourself in relaxing sound baths,
Take a visual train journey,
Or enjoy beautiful piano tunes as you drift off.
Good night and good rest to you.
Until next time,
Remember,
I love you.
