Wendy Talks Rumination

Today I am going to talk about rumination, you know, how we often replay past decisions, past circumstances and even past failures over and over in our heads. Why do our thoughts FEEL so important? Why does stress add to the thought loop in our head? We are NOT our thoughts and our thoughts are NOT facts, but alas, we continue down the same rabbit hole of looping. For ruminating to end the first thing you have to do is break or interrupt the loop. You can do this by trying some of these suggestions.

Transcript

Hello and welcome. My name is Wendy and I'm so happy that you're here. Today I'm going to talk about rumination. You know how we often replay past decisions, Past circumstances and even past failures over and over in our head. Why do our thoughts feel so important? Why does stress add to the thought loop in our head? We are not our thoughts and our thoughts are not facts but alas we continue down the same rabbit hole of looping. Rumination is a thought process characterized by obsessional repetitive thinking that interferes with normal functioning. Almost no issue large or small is off-limits for rumination. We might go into a mental circle if we believe we've made a mistake, Looked foolish, Said something wrong or been responsible for a bad outcome. Rumination is a habit of obsessively, Repetitively and passively dwelling on negative feelings, Past mistakes or problems without pursuing solutions. It's like being stuck in a loop. I'll say that again. That last part is key. Rumination is a habit of obsessively, Repetitively and passively dwelling on negative feelings, Past mistakes or problems without pursuing solutions. It's like being stuck in a loop. Normal emotional processing includes considering a situation, Resolving it, Accepting it and moving on. But people who ruminate rarely come up with coping mechanisms or problem-solving strategies. Instead they cycle through the same self-defeating thoughts over and over without coming to any productive resolutions. Adults tend to have the negative, Repetitive thoughts associated with rumination or more likely to struggle with perfectionism and insecurity. Researchers have also found that women tend to ruminate more than men and younger people more likely to ruminate than older ones. When we ruminate and dwell in our thoughts it increases stress, Fuels anxiety and is a dangerous driver of depression. Rumination itself is an endless loop of thoughts causing stress and stress causing thoughts. There's four types of rumination. Two can be healthy and two not so healthy. Let's look at the two unhealthy ones first. Number one brooding, Passively thinking about one's mood or situation in a negative way. Number two intrusive, Uncontrollable thoughts related to stressful events. Then we have the two healthier ones. Number three deliberate, Thinking about a situation to understand it from every side. And the fourth is reflection, An intentional inward examination of one's own feelings. You can start off with a one or two and then turn it into a three or four to figure out how to let go and break the looping cycle. For ruminating to end the first thing you have to do is break or interrupt the loop. You can do this by trying some of these suggestions. As soon as you notice the ruminating thoughts say it out loud or in your head. I am ruminating. That creates a space between you and the thoughts. Use distractions. Focused distractions like doing a brain training games, Jigsaw puzzles or sudoku can break the thought loop. Body movements. If your body is still either sitting, Standing or lying then do some movement, Anything. Stand up, Stretch or walk around. If you're moving while ruminating stop your body. Freeze in place for a moment and be mindful of doing so. Some people even wear a rubber band on their wrist and gently pop it when they're having repetitive thoughts just to come back into the present moment. The next thing is to show yourself compassion. Treat yourself kindly when you notice the rumination start chattering in your head. Negative thoughts about the ruminating itself will not help. You can do a grounding technique like the 5-4-3-2-1 where you notice five things you can see, Four things you can touch, Three things you can hear, Two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. You can try some tapping or EFT, Emotional freedom technique, A light tapping of your meridian pressure points to relieve anxiety and stress. There are a lot of teachers on Insight Timer that teach tapping. Another good thing to try to disprove the negative thought by remembering a time when you did solve a problem or when things did work out. And finally problem solving by finding solutions, Making a concrete plan to fix or solve whatever the issue is and then let it go. The two-minute rule can help here. The two-minute rule is allowing yourself two minutes to think and process a situation and then move on. It's this idea of giving yourself time to think about a situation and then to stop and ask yourself, Is this way of thinking promoting more questions that I can't answer? Try to separate out different problems or break down the larger ones into smaller ones. Tackle one issue at a time, Make a step-by-step plan being as specific as possible, Write it down, Then begin to move forward taking action one step at a time. For me, Both distraction and mindfulness helped reduce the state of rumination compared to trying to problem solve it when I first noticed it. Here are some examples of loops I have been stuck in. One of the loops I regularly got stuck in is when I would walk my dog in a foreign country. I would always try to learn local pleasantries and greetings to say to people I encountered. If I said something in their language and I didn't get a response, Then that simple interaction could loop in my thoughts for hours or maybe even days. My perception of the exchange replaying over and over in an endless loop. Did I say it wrong? Was I giving off a bad energy? Should I have said it this way instead? Things like this, Forever replaying past events trying to understand what went wrong. I cannot fix this. I will never see this person again to correct any mistakes I may have made. So after noticing, Breaking the loop, Showing self-compassion and grounding, I can see there is not going to be a solution. I will let this one go. It benefits no one to keep looping negative thoughts of my interactions with a stranger that I'm never going to meet again. A second regular future rumination loop I got stuck in was learning a new language. For example, When I moved to Greece, I was stressed about learning the language, Mostly because I don't know the Greek alphabet. The loop would start on how will I even buy food or read road signs or say greetings, Leading to self-critical thoughts looping and intertwining into that story. This is a type of future ruminating or anxiety-fueled ruminating. Those kinds can actually have solutions. I can stress and stress about it, Or I can go online and find a way to learn some Greek, At least the basic stuff. Learn some letters. Make a solid plan to find free stuff out there to learn. Do I need to ruminate about it? No. I have a concrete plan of steps to learn Greek now so I can let this rumination go. A third example is when I spent years of no contact with my daughter. Quite often, I would have intrusive thoughts of our last encounter and all the things I thought I did or said wrong, Getting transported into a deep depression led by ruminating thoughts of self-criticisms and no solutions. This reoccurred several times over several years. With help, I realized it wasn't about what happened that day. It was about how many more days I was going to allow no solutions. I was able to finally break the loop, Find and try a possible solution. Not only did trying the solution break the ruminating about it after nine years, It was the catalyst to preparing our long fractured relationship. There are a lot of tracks and courses on Insight Timer that can help you with ruminating thoughts. Meditations, Tapping, Self-compassion techniques, Body movements, Breathing into grounding spaces, Just to name a few. Explore and find out what can break or interrupt your loops. Deliberate ruminating to find solutions or reflective rumination to find inward answers can be healthy. Each time you notice ruminating thoughts, You must ask yourself, Is this a rumination with a solution at the end or not? If yes, Work on the solution and then let it go. If not, Compassionately let it go right away. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, Remember, I love you.

Reviews

Thanks for the great tips about ruminating, especially the advice about letting the looping go when there’s no solution. Looking forward to more tracks from you!

Love Wendy's talk about rumination. How to notice and interrupt myself when I'm ruminating. Wendy shares some great tips. I will use the simple tool she suggests of interrupting the ruminating pattern by focusing on something I can see, hear, smell, taste or touch. And Wendy's suggestion to make a plan to solve some of the things I'm ruminating on, if it's applicable. Thank you for sharing, Wendy 🙏🦘💚🐨

Thank you for giving me another powerful tool to assist me on my mental health journey Wendi. This talk has given me a better knowledge and understanding of rumination and how to process it comfortably. I appreciate your time and energy in creating this for the IT community. Brilliant effort, cheers again....