Taken from my course Nature's Rebel and the Subtle Art of Discernment.
This lesson is called A Sting from a Hornet with a Broken Wing.
Working with irritation,
Inflammation,
Strained relationship,
Unjust judgment,
Victimhood,
Vengeance,
Secrets,
Holding on to blame,
Unresolved pain,
Resentment,
Outburst and harm,
Calling in,
Anti-inflammatory,
Calling down,
Diffusing,
Measured response,
Compassion for self and other,
Meaningful honest communication,
Seeing both sides,
Forgiveness,
Building bridges and letting go,
Color mint green,
Animal medicine,
The hornet.
Don't let troubles fester,
For out of shape they will grow,
Don't suffer in your silence until hot words shoot out from bow.
If you let build to attack from your own broken wing,
You could wing break the other so that neither shall sing.
There are two pills on a table,
Yet you only ever seem to take one.
The one on the left is your go-to.
It tastes bitter and is hard to swallow,
Yet it is the one that you pick over and over.
It inflames your insides and burns as it travels into you,
Yet you continue to swallow it down time after time and over time the symptoms build up into a fiery fury and you begin to feel yourself desperate to erupt,
Desperate to release the inflaming internal stink.
You may blame the pill or the hand you believed put it there for you,
Yet it was your hand that chose that pill and your mouth that took to swallow.
Did you notice the cool mint green pill to its side?
It was also there for the taking.
It offered to counter the burn.
It would soothe the internal inflammation and slow the growing irritation and accumulatively would serve to bring remedy to that fiery fury inside.
Have you been swallowing your feelings until they have grown out of shape within you?
Have you chosen not to share your concerns with a relevant someone?
Have you not disclosed that you were feeling hurt,
Unfairly judged or misunderstood?
Are you fearful to do so in case you gain absolute proof that they do in fact hold this hurtful opinion of you?
Do you worry you have hurt someone and rather than taking account and reconciling,
You are repeatedly punishing yourself through self-sabotage for the perceived wrongdoing?
Is there a lie or a destructive secret that needs to be released or remedied?
Is there a judgment you place upon another or they upon you that may be unjust,
Untrue,
Unfair or misguided?
Is there some kind of unfinished business that tap drips and finger taps its disquiet into the back of your mind?
That wags and tuts a rhythm of growing discomfort at your bid to ignore it?
When we consistently push our feelings down,
They do not simply disappear.
Rather they fester,
Growing inside of us to become something unrecognizable from its origin.
A misshaping matter grows out of recognition as a result,
That then feels increasingly unmanageable and unreachable in its resolution.
This lack of reparation can create a rift of separation,
A sense that we are drifting farther and farther from the potential for inner peace and charge free connection.
When not tended too early,
Our challenge with another can increase in noise and distortion,
An internal chaos of anger,
Separation and deep distrust can ensue.
When you persistently push more and more negative feelings down,
At some point you will reach full capacity and much like an overblown balloon that is then further strangled by another shape remodeling twist,
The balloon will burst.
It's not just the original air or story that will release with this explosion,
Rather it might action all the words and behaviors of time's distorted misdirection to leave you all at once.
Propelled by unfettered blame,
Defensiveness,
Rage and fury.
Propelled by shame,
Confusion and overwhelm.
Propelled by anxiety,
Grief,
Trauma,
Guilt,
Loss and hurt.
All in a reactive bid to regain control and cope with this bubbling cauldron of overwhelming emotions.
If left so long that you can no longer hold it down,
The burst may deploy with a force outside of any self-control or reason.
It may burst from you in a way that exacts harm.
And furthermore,
It may burst from you in a way that then seems to confirm or prove the original perceived hurtful suspicions or opinions of the other.
Thus taking you further from a sense of safety,
Further into internal and external chaos and even further from obtaining comprehensive and helpful resolution.
Have you come across the phrase,
Hurt people,
Hurt people?
This intention to hurt,
Conscious or unconscious,
Can be sent out to another or afflicted upon oneself or both.
Whichever way,
This reaction and this relationship is in need of healing.
It is time to choose differently,
So you can see past the fury and blame,
The self-pity of injustice and perceived judgment,
The feelings of resentment or hate.
To realize a more measured,
Cool and balanced healing view.
It is time to bring soothing remedy to the internalized challenges that you are harboring,
Distorting and growing.
Perhaps through conscious choice,
The minty green pill will start to anesthetize the sting inside.
So you can begin to recognize how repeatedly swallowing your pain has only served to cause misshaped your outlook.
And it is from a more soothing space that you can start to access rational and remedial thought.
If you find a way to administer a soothing counter,
It might enable you to start seeing your challenge from a more balanced and helpful place.
Wouldn't it feel better to move out of your restrictive and limiting patterns and to be open to a more harmonious set of possibilities?
Perhaps then you will find a way to communicate your challenge to the relevant someone from a place of empowerment,
Clarity and understanding.
Please note that this message does not imply that it is you that needs to change,
For it is you that is causing the challenge.
It is not to say that resolution must come from you because you are the source of blame.
Far from it.
Rather this message is to say that we cannot change a situation from the side of the other.
And if experiencing ongoing,
Unexpressed and untended to personal pain,
We will find a progressive release from this suffering increasingly hard to achieve.
And our release is more likely to be of an explosive nature that causes further harm.
We risk staying stuck in a silent and destructive negative feedback loop.
We can only control what is controllable.
We can only really change things from our side.
And beyond that,
We have no real control.
So we are aiming here to soothe the edges of our suffering.
To minimise the inflammation so we can see any triggering topic in the most truest shape available to us.
Only then can we start to find a measured,
Rational and remedial response.
This may result in a discontinued close relationship to the person of challenged connection.
Or it may open up a field of reconciliation where ongoing meaningful conversation can grow a connection of trust over time.
And this will take time.
Either way,
We are looking to disconnect from our attachment to suffering.
And to feel stronger about trusting our ability to discern the best and most helpful way forward.
With compassionate and gentle understanding of our internal conflicts and the negative thought patterns,
We can head towards our own place of meaningful resolution.
To create a place of quiet mind and a return of equilibrium to the body's regulatory mechanisms and responses.
And this place of personal understanding and willingness to forgive self and other,
Along with an openness to resolution,
However that may look,
Can send out ripples of progressive change that then positively affects our external world.
I invite you now,
If you will,
To call into your mind a situation that needs this self-soothing.
And then read aloud or hear into the following words to also call in the support of divine assistance.
I call back my weapons,
My anger,
My blame.
I call back my wound words,
Sting,
Venom and pain.
I call in divine to help soothe with contrition.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I now give my permission to move this situation forward with love.
I will repeat this one more time,
For this is a journey.
And the more we revisit and remind ourselves,
The more we can make clear of our onward path.
I call back my weapons,
My anger,
My blame.
I call back my wound words,
Sting,
Venom and pain.
I call in divine to help soothe with contrition.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I now give my permission to move this situation forward with love.
