And Janna.
Join me now for self-forgiveness.
Find a comfortable position.
Which you can be alert and relax.
And gently begin to close your eyes.
Notice your body.
And settle into your body.
Noticing the sensations you're feeling right now at the beginning of this practice.
Without judging them.
Just bringing awareness to the fact.
You can feel when you bring your attention to your body.
And now let's let the mind connect with the intention of this practice.
To open your heart to yourself instead of being a judging critic.
Instead of harming.
You are here to forgive.
And I know that's not easy.
I will guide you through.
This practice,
Which may feel different or new or difficult.
First bring to mind.
Some aspect of yourself it's felt unforgivable.
This can be anything.
Perhaps you can't forgive yourself for being judgmental or controlling.
Or for how you've hurt others or yourself.
Maybe you feel you're ruining your life with an addictive behavior or a habit.
Perhaps you feel disgust for the thoughts in your mind.
Whatever this unforgivable aspect is.
Bring it to mind,
Into your awareness.
Consider what feels so wrong or so bad about your unforgivable part of yourself.
Just notice how you feel this self-judgment.
Is it an emotion,
A painful feeling?
Or is it felt more as a repeating story or a way of thinking about yourself?
Allow yourself to just feel this aversion you have toward a part of yourself.
Begin to explore more deeply what is so unacceptable.
In just a few words.
Maybe it's substance addiction.
Food,
Nicotine,
Alcohol,
Or behavior.
That can be towards yourself or others.
Could even be blaming or distancing.
Belittling.
Hurting in some way.
Whether that's towards yourself or others.
And perhaps it's just an unwelcome emotion.
It could be jealousy,
Anger,
Or rage towards someone.
Even toward a loved one.
So whatever this unacceptable part of you is,
Ask yourself,
When I act this way,
What needs am I trying to satisfy?
What is that unmet need?
Consider what fears you're trying to soothe.
Often when we judge others or we feel fearful.
We soothe ourselves.
By doing things we don't love about ourselves.
By thinking a certain way defensively.
Or we turn to actions.
That we don't feel proud of.
If you've wounded someone.
What emotion caused you to act this way?
Could be hurt or insecurity.
Jealousy is common or fear.
And was it out of the need to feel something,
Perhaps feel powerful?
Or maybe just safe.
Try to see yourself.
And your vulnerability.
Through the eyes of the most understanding and loving friend or loved one.
As you become aware of these underlying wants and needs and fears,
Let yourself feel them directly in the body.
Notice that your body senses.
To feel.
Where there is this pain or suffering.
Perhaps even focus on your heart space.
Although you dislike these thoughts or behaviors,
Try to simply hold this underlying vulnerability of yours.
With compassion.
Place your hand on your heart or on a part of the body.
That feels nurturing.
And begin to send a message of self-compassion directly to the places of fear and unmet needs within you,
Directly to the pain This is the pain that's given rise to whatever feels unforgivable.
It is the pain.
That needs to be met with forgiveness.
Allow yourself to feel the most vulnerable parts of yourself.
And whisper to yourself,
To these parts.
Forgiven.
Forgiven.
Meet whatever arises,
Whether it's fear or judgment,
Shame.
Or grief.
With this message of forgiveness.
That is feeling very difficult or hard to reach this sense of forgiveness.
Know this,
Even resistance to forgiving.
Can be met with the word forgiven.
Even this resistance within you that's made it so hard to forgive yourself can be forgiven.
This is a practice.
You can repeat.
Bring to mind a person.
That you consider deeply loving,
Understanding.
Compassionate.
And that can be someone in your life.
Mentor.
Someone you look up to.
Someone who's been kind to you.
Or even just a figure who inspires you with their compassion.
Now I offer you this practice to feel their compassion flowing through you,
Supporting you.
Allow it to be felt.
Notice what can happen when you bring in an unconditionally forgiving heart to the most wounded and vulnerable parts of you.
Allow yourself to feel where you're stuck,
Where you're unable to forgive yourself.
Stuck in the belief that you don't deserve to be forgiven.
You're stuck in the fear that forgiving yourself will cause you to make the same mistake again.
Know that there is a way to find openness,
Even through fear.
Perhaps true fear happens when you open yourself to forgiveness.
Or fear that you'll have to face some intolerable truth about yourself.
And if these doubts and fears arise.
Just acknowledge.
And accept them with that same compassion.
You can say to yourself,
It is my intention to forgive myself when I'm able.
Even if full forgiveness doesn't feel reachable in this moment,
The intention to move outward To forgive,
Plant the seed for forgiveness,
For a practice of forgiveness,
An ongoing practice.
By simply bringing this willingness.
To the idea of forgiving.
You gradually open your heart to yourself.
Feel yourself creating space.
The space needed to forgive yourself.
And inhale.
Expanding that space in your heart for yourself.
And exhale.
Letting out whatever closes your heart.
Let's take one breath together.
Inhaling openness.
And exhaling that judgment that closes your heart to yourself.
And now gently.
Say one more time to yourself with this big open heart.
And a place in it specifically for the vulnerable part of you.
Stay to yourself.
Forgiven.
Feel that.
You are allowed and worthy of forgiving yourself.
Gently open your eyes.
