Welcome to Breathing Into Acceptance,
When blindsided by life events.
I'm Jonna,
And today we'll focus on how to navigate these moments when life throws you a curve ball.
No matter how hard we try to plan our lives,
We all face moments of unexpected suffering and even a sense of helplessness.
In these moments,
We can be brought to our knees with fear and uncertainty.
Know you're not alone.
I too know this experience.
This is part of the human condition.
Together we can face anything to find acceptance and get past the sense of helplessness.
Gently close your eyes.
Find me in a position you can sustain for about 10 minutes and begin to bring awareness to your breath.
Without changing it,
Just notice that breathing was happening before you were aware of it.
Allow your breath to slow down gently to whatever extent you can.
Notice that you can control your breath or you can breathe without awareness.
The mind can do the same,
Can easily get lost in the fear of the future without recognizing where you are in this moment.
When we're blindsided by a threatening situation,
Our reflex is to panic.
We have this panic button in the brain called the amygdala.
It's only about an inch long,
But it can hold tremendous power over us.
When we're triggered by a terrifying event or unexpected news or even an experience within the body,
The amygdala sends us into survival mode and our body gets flooded with adrenaline and cortisol and our mind fixates only on the threat.
Once we're triggered,
The mind isn't able to reset itself easily,
Yet the body can actually reset the mind through a specific type of breathing by extending the exhale longer than the inhale.
Begin to breathe slowly in and out the nose,
Savoring the air.
Your mouth is shut,
Jaw is slightly open,
And we'll begin to inhale for four and exhale for six on my cue.
Begin with me inhaling for a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Exhale six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Inhale four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Exhale six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Continue counting now on your own.
Inhaling for four,
Exhaling for six.
You can let go of the counting now and simply let your breath stay slow and steady.
You've already begun to reset the body.
Now we can address the mind.
Bring awareness to the threat that you're experiencing,
And this might be a loss of someone or something or a diagnosis,
A life-altering event or betrayal,
Or even something you did,
Whatever experience blindsided you.
We experience this as a threat to our sense of safety or certainty.
Let this threat begin to be named in just a few words in your mind.
Just name what's happening without creating a future story.
And if tears arise or you begin to shake and it feels like too much to bear,
You can hit pause and count your four,
Six breaths again.
Once you feel your body calming,
Come back to focusing on this experience that blindsided you,
Naming the threat,
Whatever the experience is.
And once you've found the words to name this experience,
This threat,
Focus now on what you're feeling.
The feeling of fear and uncertainty is what is so devastating,
Not the story behind it.
Feelings are what devastate the body and the mind.
So begin to find words for how you feel.
And if that's difficult,
I offer you some words you could say to yourself.
I've been blindsided,
Or I'm terrified,
Or this feels too hard.
The agony feels like too much,
Or perhaps this feels unbearable.
Whatever the right words are for how you feel,
Let them form.
Let them be known to your conscious mind.
Knowing and saying how we feel can validate our pain and allow us to accept it instead of denying it.
So often we tell ourselves that this should never happen,
But it is happening.
By denying it,
We add to our suffering by creating resistance,
And resistance requires so much energy,
And it's always a battle.
You are suffering.
You're facing something difficult and uncertain.
Your brain needs to process this.
Our brains are simply predictive machines.
When we're blindsided,
Our brains predict stories of the mind of fearful situations.
The brain knows that in this moment you're scared or overwhelmed,
So it creates thoughts to match these current feelings of fear and uncertainty.
Often we feel alone in this uncertainty.
In this moment of suffering,
Know you're not alone.
Right now there are many humans experiencing similar suffering,
Unknown and unnamed humans living in this human condition just like you.
We are all impermanent beings with impermanent circumstances.
Even when we're diagnosed with permanent conditions or when facing permanent loss,
Our experience will change as the body and the mind no longer see it as new and uncertain.
The uncertainty is what the brain is not comfortable with,
Yet only the present moment is certain.
You only have to face this moment,
And you'll do the same with each future moment.
If your mind runs away to the worst case scenarios,
Simply welcome it back to the here and now.
The overwhelming news will not always be new.
It will get processed,
And fear will not last forever.
Even if fear is here now,
Here you are now,
Breathing into acceptance,
Nurturing yourself through this difficult moment,
So as your amygdala tells you to panic,
Your breath can remind you that you don't have to.
Let's close with our extended exhale breathing.
Together,
Inhale for a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Exhale six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Know you can breathe into acceptance whenever you need to.
Gently begin to open your eyes.
Thank you for meditating with me in this moment.
You may want to repeat this meditation as it's needed to process the newness of each difficult experience.
May the universe bring us back together soon,
And until then,
Know you're never alone in your suffering,
And suffering like life is not permanent.
