Holding Space For Yourself - Alchemy Of Compassion

This meditation guides you into being your own spaceholder while you struggle with an emotion or difficult situation in your life. Holding yourself with gentle compassion, being present with a situation of emotion that feels difficult for you, opens up an alchemical healing space.

Transcript

Expansion Exercise by Stéphanie van Workum This is a meditation,

An exercise that is good to do when you are struggling,

Resisting,

In an uncomfortable place,

When you are experiencing painful emotions.

And painful emotions,

Discomfort,

Are all part of our human experience.

And they want to be felt.

When we are able to be with them,

Open up to them,

They can start moving again.

Emotions are energy in motion.

And what we tend to do is,

When there is discomfort,

We try to fix it,

We want it to go away.

But what we actually create then is that it persists and it becomes even more present.

And often times,

Uncomfortable feelings are accompanying or are coming with your desire to move forward in your life.

With making leaps,

With taking leaps,

With going in a new direction,

With doing new things,

With growing.

And if you resist this,

If you don't want to feel this and don't want to go there,

You also resist your own growth.

So it is a being,

Leaning into the discomfort,

Being with the discomfort,

Opening up to it,

Is a very important skill to master for growth in your life.

So find a place where you can be comfortable.

You can also wrap a blanket around you,

Make it really comfortable for yourself.

Sit down,

Lay down,

Whatever feels best for you now.

If you feel tired,

You better sit down.

And then tune in to the situation or the discomfort you are experiencing.

Maybe it is a physical pain,

Maybe it is a situation with someone else or in your life something that is happening to you.

And if there is more than one thing,

Just pick one of them.

And try to make it really vivid,

Like it is on a screen in front of you,

A situation.

And then what you do is that you go with your attention to your body and see where there is a response to the situation in your body.

So what part of your body is reacting to what it is that you are experiencing,

What you are feeling.

Is there a place that is feeling tense,

Or maybe a place that is very numb,

Very present.

And find such a place,

And most of the times there are more than one,

And then pick the one that is most dominant,

Most clear for you.

And that place and those places in your body,

Those spots in your body,

Are the physical manifestation in your body of that what you are experiencing.

And it is a good place to go when you want to be with what is happening,

When you want to be with the pain,

With the discomfort.

So that is what we are going to do.

We are going to be and stay with our attention in the place where you are feeling the distress,

The discomfort,

Pain,

Painful emotions.

And I am going to ask you all kinds of questions that help you to let your attention rest there.

Because it is an uncomfortable place,

So you want to leave,

But if you try to investigate,

If you investigate what it looks like and all the different kinds of traits to it,

It is easier to be with the pain,

To open up.

And whenever a question doesn't resonate for you,

You just let it be.

So first you can tune in to the size of the area in your body.

How big is it?

Can you feel the size?

Maybe you can feel into the borders.

Are they very strict borders or more like a gradient?

And then you can sense into the color.

Maybe you feel color in there.

And your mind can get involved with this because it wants to try to explain or whatever.

But then if you feel that is happening,

You simply kindly go back to being with the spot in your body,

With the place in your body,

The area.

Maybe you can discover a material in there,

Or a substance,

A temperature,

Warm,

Cold,

In between.

An element.

Or maybe you can see a symbol.

All this time you are simply being and observing the pain and being with the pain,

With the discomfort.

And whenever we experience feelings like this,

We tend to resist them,

To tighten up around it physically.

So observe if you are doing that and just try to make a bit more space in your body for the area,

For the pain,

For the discomfort.

Visualize,

You create space around it.

And observe what's happening then.

Maybe it's growing,

Maybe it's not,

Maybe it stays the same,

Maybe it shrinks.

And there is nothing you have to achieve with this.

The goal is not that it goes away.

The goal is simply to be with it,

To open up,

To lean into the uncomfortable feelings.

And the full awareness that struggling with them will only make you suffer.

And that struggling with them will keep you from your path,

From moving forward.

And it's like with a little child that needs attention and needs to be heard.

When you ignore it,

Ignore her,

She will start screaming louder and louder.

And that's the same with your body,

With the pain inside your body.

The harder you resist it,

The harder you ignore it,

The more it will persist and will find a way to get your attention.

So you better make space for it right now.

Feel what making space around it,

With relaxing around it,

With opening up to it,

Does for you,

For the pain.

And if you want to,

You can also place your hand in the area where you are able to reach it.

And otherwise place your hand on your heart and feel the warmth of your hand.

That's also there.

So there is the discomfort and there is also the warmth,

The attention,

The kindness of your hand.

You can say to the feelings you are experiencing,

To the area,

I see you,

I hear you,

I feel you,

I am with you.

I see you,

I hear you,

I feel you,

I am with you.

And acknowledge yourself for taking the time to open up to something that is uncomfortable for you.

And acknowledge that what you are experiencing isn't something people like to experience.

And that's not a bad thing that you don't like it.

It's completely normal.

This is painful.

So acknowledge that it's painful for you.

And also acknowledge that what you are feeling is part of the human experience.

You are not alone in this.

It can feel like you are completely separated from the rest of the world when you are experiencing the things you are experiencing.

But every single person is experiencing painful emotions every single day.

You are not alone in this.

And maybe you can find an intention of compassion,

Of kindness for yourself.

Of befriending yourself.

Something like,

May I feel compassion for all that I am experiencing.

May I be compassionate to myself.

May I be kind.

May I be open to all that I am experiencing.

And there could also be a sentence that you would love someone else to say to you right now.

Or would say to someone else experiencing what you are experiencing right now.

A comforting sentence like,

It's okay.

It's okay.

Of course you are in distress right now.

Of course.

You can handle this.

I know you can.

Or just a simple shhhh.

You are so loved.

You can stay in this place as long as you like.

And then when you feel ready,

And that doesn't have to be in the moment.

You don't have to wait for the moment that it goes away.

The emotion can lift.

The feeling can lift.

But it can also just still be here,

Because that's what is here right now.

So don't wait for it to shift.

Don't expect anything of it.

Just be with it.

And then when you feel ready,

You feel yourself sitting or lying down,

The ground beneath you.

Your body touching the ground beneath you.

The space that surrounds you,

The room that you are in.

Visualize it while your eyes are still closed.

And then whenever you are ready,

You can open your eyes.

Thank you.