Meditation a soft place for grief with a body scan and some gentle cognitive behaviour.
Therapy.
Welcome,
I'm Lauren.
This meditation is part of a kit.
A mini course for grief.
I'm going to speak slowly.
And there will be plenty of pauses.
Sit in the sacred moment of each pause and allow that space to wash over you,
Give you pause to reflect,
And start again.
In this precious moment.
Before we start,
Choose a place in which to meditate.
This could be a chair.
It could also be crawling into your bed.
Wear loose.
Clothing.
And when you're ready.
Let's start.
Sit down.
Or lie down.
Comfortably.
When you're ready.
We will.
Arrival and intention.
Take a moment.
Take several moments.
To become as comfortable.
As you can right now.
Whether you're lying down.
Or reclining.
Whether you are sated.
Somewhere you feel safe.
Safe enough to rest.
Safe enough to pause in this moment right now.
You may wish to further prepare yourself by wrapping yourself in a blanket.
Placing a blanket around you.
Or a pillow under your knees or under your head.
You may also wish to visualise this process.
Imagine.
Wrapping yourself in a beautiful blanket.
Imagine a soft Where will you place this soft pillow?
Perhaps under your feet.
Perhaps.
And your nays.
Perhaps.
.
.
Softly.
Softly.
Under your head.
Feel the support of this pillow.
Feel the wrapping sensation.
Of the blanket.
You feel wrapped.
You feel?
Supported.
When you are ready.
When you are ready.
Ensure your eyes are closed.
Come into this moment as it is.
This raw moment.
Invite your mind to exist quietly right now.
No matter what.
It doesn't matter what occurred before this moment.
This moment is your golden moment.
To be.
To reflect.
Process.
.
.
To breathe.
Relax,
Release your body in your time.
This time is just for you.
Just for you.
You don't have to be switched on.
You don't have to be okay.
Sometimes being okay is knowing.
That you haven't been okay.
And inviting resilience to that process.
Saying to yourself quietly,
Life hasn't been great.
Yet I choose to sit in this moment anyway.
Just the way it is.
Relax,
Release your body.
In your time.
This meditation is here for you.
Whether you simply want to fall asleep.
Gently or perhaps you'd like to softly,
Kindly.
Be with your Grace.
For a little while.
Just a little while.
Sort of like sitting next to a dear friend.
Accepting this friend.
For who this friend is.
At this time.
It's okay.
And being okay.
Looks like all sorts of things.
At different times.
There is no right way to grieve here.
This is not about getting it right.
How you are.
Right now.
In this space.
That's enough.
You are enough.
As you are right now.
Breathing and gentle grounding.
Begin by noticing.
The contact between your body and the surface supporting you.
Just notice.
Feel where you are held.
Perhaps the back of your head,
Perhaps under your legs.
Perhaps below your hips.
Where are you physically?
Supported right now.
Perhaps shoulders?
Nidus Let your body know right now.
You're allowed to rest now.
Let your body know.
Resting isn't a perfect process.
Allow rest to be what it is right now.
Take a slow,
Gentle breath.
In through your nose if that is comfortable.
The way you breathe is your choice.
Do what suits you.
If it suits you,
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Breathe any way you wish.
This time is precious.
This time is for you.
If you choose to do so,
Breathe in through your nose,
And out.
Through your mouth.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
As you do so,
Allow a little bit of tension to melt.
To melt your body.
To melt the exhale.
As you breathe out,
Let the tension go.
Let attention go as it does in this moment.
Every time we meditate it's going to look different.
And that's fine.
That's okay.
If it feels okay.
Choose one of two things.
Either physically place one hand on your heart or imagine yourself doing so.
So either physically Place a hand on your heart.
Or imagine.
Imagine your hand moving across?
To your heart space and resting.
Resting.
Resting.
Feel and notice.
Your heart space.
The kindness love.
The acceptance.
Breathe.
This is a place of healing,
This meditation is a space for processing.
This practice is for rest.
Is for letting go.
Is for allowing.
Allowing.
Imagine the warmth or the weight.
Of your hand.
Either the physical weight or the imagining.
Of the right of your hand.
Upon.
Your heart.
As you do so as you imagine the sensation of your heart under your hand,
Your hand resting upon your heart.
Say to yourself mindfully,
I'm here with you.
I'm here with you.
I'm here with you.
Right now.
And for this moment.
For this precious moment,
Everything is okay.
Everything is okay.
And being okay can look like all sorts of things.
It can look messy.
It can look tidy.
This can look clear.
Is can look foggy.
I'm here with you.
Introducing a gentle.
.
.
CBT frame.
Cognitive behavioural therapy.
Grief often brings many thoughts with it.
Some are loving.
And tender.
Some are painful.
Even frightening.
Some are confusing,
Frustrating,
Or feel like they spin you in circles.
Around and around.
In this meditation you don't have to fight your thoughts.
You don't have to figure it all out.
You don't have to fix anything at all right now.
You don't have to believe your thoughts.
You don't have to believe your feelings.
For now.
Or practice simply noticing thoughts and feelings when they appear.
Like watching clouds move across the sky.
We watch.
We witness.
When you notice a thought,
You might quietly label it.
Oh,
That's right.
That cloud is a memory.
That cloud is a worry.
That cloud may be a what-if thought.
Or possibly an if-only thought.
That thought may be self-criticism.
Label it.
See the clouds shift,
Move.
Pass.
Bye.
Disappear.
And then gently return to your breath.
And your body.
Relax,
Release in your time as suits you.
You know you understand that thoughts can come and go.
You are here right now.
You are breathing.
You are held.
You are embraced.
And you are supported.
Think about the wrapping.
The blanket around you the supportive pillow,
Imagine the clouds.
Life can be incredibly challenging.
Life can be plain hard.
We have the ability with practice.
To control.
How am I?
This is a moving shape-shifting process.
It looks different each time we meditate,
And that's okay.
Right now,
There is nothing you have to fix.
Just noticing.
That's enough.
Clouds.
Thoughts.
Label these thoughts.
Separate yourself from the thought.
See the clouds moving past.
Body Scan.
A safe,
Cozy journey.
Through.
The body.
Through your body.
Now we will slowly scan the body,
Your body.
Giving each part gentle attention.
Righteous.
And allowing.
Whatever is there to simply be there.
If you'd like,
Picture yourself in a cozy Softly lit spice.
What does cozy mean to you?
What does a softly lit space look like?
Maybe it's a warm room.
Perhaps a cottage?
Perhaps a cabin with a gentle fire.
Imagine.
Perhaps it's simply your bed.
And you wrapped in a sense of safety.
And belonging.
You belong to this moment right now.
You are safe,
You are safely held in this moment right now.
In this space,
All of you is welcome.
You are welcome here.
Your thoughts,
Your feelings,
Possibly your confusion,
Possibly frustration.
It's all welcome here.
Everything that shows up.
Every part of you,
Mindfully and physically.
Is welcome here.
There is no wrong.
There is no right.
Let's start with the top of your head.
Bring your attention now to the top of your head.
Your scalp.
Your forehead.
Relax release.
If there's any tightness or any heaviness,
Simply notice it.
You might say silently to yourself.
Tension is here.
I am not tense.
But tension exists here.
I am not tense but tension exists here.
What does that mean?
The concept of I.
The concept of I am.
Eye is separate to your body.
I is separate to time.
I is separate to thoughts and feelings.
The am,
The I am.
The am is this moment.
Time in this moment,
This breath,
I am.
Tension.
Is a passing experience.
One of many.
As the eye.
As the concept of I.
We can feel many things.
Many things.
Pay.
Many libels.
We are where we point our mind.
We are where we focus ourselves.
We can say to ourselves,
I am thinking.
I am feeling.
These thoughts,
These feelings are like passing clouds.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
As you breathe out,
Soften.
Accept.
Allow.
Breathe out.
Soften,
Accept,
Allow.
Grief,
Grief is part of life.
Loss occurs.
Sometimes,
Sometimes loss is profoundly unfair.
Sometimes loss can be tragic.
Unexpected.
Loss wears many faces.
We are really,
Really ready.
For the many faces of grave.
However,
We can breathe through grief.
We can process grief.
We can heal through grace.
You can.
You can do this.
Let your forehead smooth if it wants to,
Let the space around your eyes soften.
If you've been holding tears back.
Or holding yourself together.
See if that part of you wherever it is.
Can soften just a little bit.
Let's not hold back.
Let's not attach.
Let's allow.
Notice your cheeks,
Your jaw.
So many of us hold unspoken words.
Or possibly uncried tears.
In our jaw.
You know Nick?
In our cheeks,
In our eyes in our heart.
Notice.
Knowledge.
Acknowledge any uncried tears.
Salty tears.
If it feels okay to do so.
You might gently loosen your jaw,
Soften your jaw.
Allowing your teeth.
To part slightly.
You might choose to name a feeling,
Any feeling.
See the feeling as separate to you.
There is a separation.
You might say to yourself silently or out loud.
This is Fatigue.
This is emptiness.
This is loneliness.
This is frustration.
This is anger.
Whatever you notice,
You don't have to change it.
Or just letting it be sane.
Feel that separation.
Feel that softness.
This is a soft process.
There is no stickiness here.
There is no attachment.
You are noticing what is.
And allowing.
Neck,
Shoulders,
And arms.
Now let your attention drift to your neck.
The back of your neck.
The sides,
The front.
Notice any tight spots.
If you sense tension.
You might say.
You might say,
Tension it is here.
And I'm allowed to rest anyway.
There is no defiance here,
It is simply a noticing.
All well.
Tension is here.
And I.
I am allowed.
To rest.
Anyway.
I allow myself.
I do this.
Move your awareness to your shoulders.
Many of us.
Many of us carry the weight of responsibility of the past.
Of tasks.
Of memories.
The shoulder.
These experiences.
We hold them on top of our shoulders.
Let it go.
You can either let this go or notice you are shouldering these experiences.
As you do so you might silently notice Thoughts?
Thoughts such as.
.
.
I should have done more.
I should have done things differently.
I should have seen this coming.
I should be coping better.
I should be stronger.
Notice these thoughts.
You don't have to argue with these thoughts.
You don't have to contest these thoughts.
Just recognize these thoughts.
As thoughts.
Not facts.
These thoughts are one way of thinking.
There are other ways.
You might quietly add.
And I am grieving.
I'm doing.
The best I can.
You might say to yourself one of these statements,
Such as,
I should be coping better.
And I'm grieving.
I'm doing the best I can.
There is a softness in the contrast here.
As human beings,
We work towards goals.
Hope,
An uncertain future.
And sometimes we can be hard upon ourselves.
We only have this present moment.
And perhaps,
Perhaps we could have done things differently.
In these situations.
We can reflect.
Reflect on the process softly with love.
We are flawed human beings doing the best we can.
And that looks like all sorts of things.
Inside yourself.
Softly,
I am grieving.
I'm doing the best I can.
And my best looks different.
Every day.
As you exhale.
Imagine your shoulders dropping.
Just a little bit.
Give away that weight.
Reduce.
What you may be shouldering.
Let it go.
Let it go softly slightly slowly gradually in your time.
As suits you.
Let your awareness now flow down your arms.
Elbows,
Forearms,
Wrists,
Hands all the way.
To the tips.
Of your fingers.
If your hands feel empty or restless.
Or heavy,
Just notice.
Imagine right now.
A mansion.
That both your hands are held by loving hands,
Trustworthy hands.
Wise hands.
Embracing hands.
Feel your hands being held.
You are not alone here.
You are not alone here.
Chest and heart area.
Now bring your attention to your chest.
And your heart area.
This place may feel tender.
Possibly tight.
Possibly distant.
Whatever you feel.
That is understandable.
That's okay.
Notice the rise and fall of your chest.
With each breath.
Imagine that hand upon your heart.
See the hand upon your heart.
Visualize.
Sometimes with grief,
Thoughts may appear like,
This pain will never end,
This pain is unbearable.
I'll never be okay again.
Rather than pushing these thoughts away.
You might gently say.
I notice that thought.
I notice that sensation.
Right now I'm going to breathe into that sensation.
Right now i am held and supported.
Right now,
I acknowledge that everything changes.
Everything changes.
Everything changes.
And I change.
I process.
I shape shift.
I choose my sense of experience,
What I experience,
And I choose My version.
Of thinking.
Of feeling.
Right now,
I breathe.
Right now,
I am Harold.
Right now,
I am supported.
We are not forcing positivity.
We are simply creating a tiny bit of space between you and the thought.
I,
The concept of I,
And the thought.
Create a little bit of space.
A little bit of sacred.
Spice is softening.
You are more than your responsibilities.
You are more than the roles you play,
Than the roles you play in life.
You are more than the labels others may give you.
You are so much more than the judgements others may give you.
Now I want you to invite into this space possibility and potential.
Perhaps a little bit of opportunity.
Allow these to exist.
The concept of possibility.
Everything is possible here.
Everything.
Breathe.
With each breath in,
Breathe in possibility.
It doesn't need to be a beak.
Grand.
Sense of possibility.
It can be like a tiny sense of possibility.
Like a little wave.
Washing over a pebble,
Again.
And again.
Breathe in.
.
.
Small Soft.
Gentle possibility.
Allow change.
Healing.
Looks like all.
Types of things.
Belly and back,
Let your awareness drift down to your ribcage,
Your chest,
Your upper belly.
Your lower belly.
Notice if and how your belly moves with the breath.
Notice the movement with the inhale.
And the exhale.
Notice the journey of your breath.
At times,
Big feelings exist here in the breath.
And that's how I can.
Accept,
The big feelings.
And then allow the little waves to wash either thy speak feelings.
And cleanse.
And heal.
If you feel a knot,
A sense of tension.
A hollowness.
Possibly a tightness.
You might name it softly.
You might say to yourself,
There is tension here,
There is a knot there.
There is a knot there.
There is grief over here.
Possibly confusion.
Over there.
Right over there That is unfair.
It is?
What it is.
And I am over here.
And that's okay.
See the separation.
Then if you feel like doing this add a compassionate truth.
Invite a compassionate truth.
Grief must be here.
Because I feel love.
Grief must be here.
Because I am loved.
There is love.
There is love to give.
Love too is safe.
I am human.
My pain is a sign that something mattered.
Something matters.
Deeply,
To me,
I am human.
You don't have to entirely believe these words.
Allow a softness.
Allow a lesson.
A simple letting.
Let these feelings be present.
You are human.
Now imagine a planting.
You are planting.
You plant a small seed.
Who plant a small seed in the earth of sadness.
Plant a small seed in the ground of sadness.
A small seed of kindness.
Towards yourself.
Imagine planting this seed.
See yourself.
Planting.
Is saved.
You are loving.
You are careful.
You are slow.
You focus.
Plant the seed.
Now notice your back,
Your upper back,
Your middle back.
Your lower back.
If there is any ache,
Any heaviness,
Any attachment,
Let it go.
Let it go.
You don't have to hold anything.
You don't have to attach to anything.
You don't have to hold on to.
Hips,
Legs,
Feet.
Bring your attention to your hips and your pelvis.
These are strong parts of you.
Always holding,
Always dancing,
Standing,
Walking,
Moving.
Bring your attention here.
If you sense any discomfort,
Any tension,
Or possibly any emotion here.
Allowed.
Notice it.
It's here.
It's just here.
You might think.
This comfort is here.
Or name the emotion.
This emotion is here.
And I'm still okay.
I am still okay.
And being okay.
Looks different.
Each day,
Each moment.
Being okay changes.
Say to yourself,
I'm still safe.
I'm still safe enough in this moment.
I'm still safe enough in this moment right now.
Move down now through your thighs.
Through your knees.
Through your calves,
Your ankles,
Your feet.
All the way to your toes.
Notice any tingling,
Any warmth,
Any coolness,
Any numbness.
There is no right way to feel.
There is no right way for your body to feel.
Imagine a gentle wave of relaxation flowing from the top of your head all the way down through your body.
To the tips of your toes.
On each exhale,
Let that wave move through you again.
Waves.
Wipes.
Releasing just a little more effort.
A little more tension.
A little more holding.
Release.
You can do this.
Move gently.
Gentle CBT.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Relating differently to your thoughts.
Relax your body.
Now that you've connected with your body.
Notice your mind again.
Are there any thoughts lingering?
Or possibly ruminating.
Looping.
That's okay.
Just notice.
There might be images,
Images of memory.
There might be what-if stories.
What if about the future?
There might be judgements about yourself.
In this space right now.
You don't have to argue with these thoughts or contest them or change them.
Simply look upon them.
Name them.
Offer.
Alternatives.
Substitutes.
A reframing.
That these thoughts,
Memories,
Experiences differently.
If you notice a self-critical thought such as I should be over this now.
You might respond kindly.
With a thought.
I notice a should thought.
Grief does not run on a schedule.
It's okay that I feel.
As I feel.
Right now.
I don't jump through hoops.
I allow what is.
I notice.
A should thought as it is.
And I rewrite it.
I change it.
I allow my process.
I allow my healing journey.
As it is.
If you notice a catastrophizing change.
Source.
Such as I will never or I cannot.
Or an absolute thought.
You might want to name this thought as an absolute thought.
Or a can't thought.
Or a never thought.
And say to yourself right now I feel pain.
It is true that I feel pain.
It is real that I feel sad.
It is possible.
With the sands of time,
With the moments of light,
That this too will change.
There is possibility.
And with possibility.
Comes hope,
Comes opportunity.
Grief looks like all sorts of things.
And I,
And I honor.
All the colors of grace.
I will grow through this experience.
Maybe not now.
Maybe now.
Everything changes.
The light will find its way back in.
This is not a forced process,
This is a gentle process.
Wise process.
Everything does change.
A light does find its way back in.
Let's make room.
Let's make room for both.
The reality of pain.
And the reality of time.
It changes everything.
There is always a shift.
On a bus.
Honor the sadness,
Honour what time brings.
Time brings change.
Change brings hope.
Possibility.
Every new moment brings possibility.
This does not eradicate grief.
It softens quickly.
Recovery is a process.
Even though there is sadness.
Life can still hold moments of meaning.
Moments of comfort.
Even.
Quiet.
Allow the process that suits you.
Feel the weight of your body,
Relax your body,
Your whole body.
Your completed body.
Relax your body,
Arms,
Legs,
Feet,
Hands.
Belonging.
Connection and normalising.
Sadness can feel.
Very loudly.
Grave?
Can feel.
Very lonely.
Sometimes like you are on an island.
By yourself.
Away.
Away from everything.
Right now.
Imagine Connection.
Imagine others who are craving.
Others who may be lost,
Others who may be suffering.
Somewhere,
Anywhere in the world.
You may know them,
You may not know them,
You may know of them.
Perhaps.
These are people you don't know,
All sorts of people.
But they too may lie awake at night.
Day 2 may feel sad,
Confused.
Perhaps their hearts are heavy.
Perhaps they have chronic illness.
Perhaps they are missing someone.
Perhaps they have been alienated.
Perhaps there is love.
You are separate to these people,
See the separation.
You might silently say to yourself.
I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Many hearts are grieving.
Many hearts are grieving right now.
I am part of a larger human story.
Of love.
And loss.
Both.
Love and loss.
Feel that sense of connection.
It can be a soft connection.
It doesn't have to be profound.
Soft connection.
A soft noticing.
Of the hearts of others.
A soft awareness.
That others feel lost.
Notice how this,
This sensation of connection lands in your body.
Feel a sense of relief,
Feel a sense of relaxing the body.
Allow the softness to spread.
You belong to this circle of beings.
Feel the connection.
Feel the love,
Feel the kindness.
You breathe,
You breathe.
Resting.
Resting.
With grief.
Here there is nothing Nothing more you have to do,
Nothing you have to do.
No work.
No decisions,
No fixing.
Not here,
Not now.
Your only job?
Your only role right now is to be here.
With softness,
With kindness,
With compassion.
Softness.
Turn up exactly as you are right now.
Allow grief to be a picture.
Grief could be.
As small.
Child or young child you hold in your arms?
Grief could be a basket,
A basket of fruit.
It might be another item.
Picture grief.
And choose how to relate to this grief.
You may choose to hold the child,
Comfort the child.
You may choose to place the grief on a shelf.
Perhaps if the grief is a basket full of items,
You may choose to put the grief in the cupboard.
Perhaps the grief could be a pile of dust.
A pile of sand.
You may choose to place the dust.
The sand.
In the ocean.
Scatter.
The dust.
Scatter the grave.
Choose to see this grief.
And choose how to process the grief.
You may be ready to hold the grief.
You may be ready to place the grief in a cupboard.
You may be ready to sort through the basket of grief.
As you do this,
Notice you are separate to the grief.
As you do so,
As you process,
Say to yourself softly with breath,
It's okay to feel what I feel.
It's okay to rest.
Even.
.
.
While I grieve.
In this moment,
I am doing enough.
I am doing enough.
If sleep comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If rest comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If healing comes.
Right now?
I invited to be so.
It's okay to feel what I feel.
It's okay to rest.
Even.
.
.
While I grieve.
In this moment,
I am doing enough.
I am doing enough.
If sleep comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If rest comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If healing comes.
Right now.
I invited to be some.
It's okay to feel what I feel.
It's okay to rest.
Even.
While I grieve.
In this moment,
I am doing enough.
I am doing enough.
If sleep comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If rest comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If healing comes.
Right now.
I invited to be so.
It's okay to feel what I feel.
It's okay to rest.
Even.
.
.
While I grieve.
In this moment,
I am doing enough.
I am doing enough.
If sleep comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If rest comes to me right now.
Let it come.
If healing comes.
Right now?
I invited to be so.
Relax,
Release.
Relax,
Release.
Relax,
Release.
You are not alone,
There is connection.
There is shared experience.
You are not alone.
You are permitted to rest.
You do belong.
Athis.
Share similar experiences.
Send compassion.
Send kindness.
To others.
Even in sorrow.
Share kindness.
Notice your body.
Invite deeper rest.
To your body.
Allow the duplicity of feeling.
Some possibility,
Some hope.
Some sadness.
These exist.
Alongside each other and that is okay.
That is okay.
Breathe soft breath in.
.
.
Unhurried breath out.
Be mindful.
Grief is real?
Grief is part of healing.
Grief is human.
Love is real.
Love is part of being human.
Even when grief exists.
Resilience is human.
Resilience is real even when grief exists.
Getting back up.
Moving forward.
Can occur in the midst.
Of grief.
That's okay.
We can choose to sit still,
Pause when we feel grief,
We can also choose to start again when we feel grief.
We can enjoy a sunset when we feel grief.
And we can cry.
When we feel grief.
You are doing the best you can.
With a heart which is kind.
A heart can carry kindness and grief.
Now let your body continue to rest.
Feel that sense of that blanket wrapping you in warmth.
Wrapping you in kindness.
Wrapping you in knowing you are not alone,
There is connection.
Visualize,
Soften.
Silence.
You are safe enough to rest now.
Side yourself.
Silently.
I am safe.
To rest.
I'm safe enough to rest now.
I am safe enough to rest now.
All my feelings.
Are valid.
My feelings are separate to me.
To I.
Rest.
Rest.
Relax.
Rest.
Relax,
Relax,
Rest.
It will be okay.
Being okay looks like all sorts of things.
Concept of okay.
Of being okay.
Shape shifts.
Changes.
And that's okay.
