Welcome to this meditation.
Loving yourself in tough moments.
Those moments you want to escape,
You want to fix,
Repair,
Change,
Everything but accept.
It is hard,
So I gently invite you to stay with any discomfort that arises,
That is the only invitation.
Use your breath as a support or any other equipment around you,
Maybe blanket,
Maybe a pillow you want to grab and hug.
Please,
Find a position that feels right for you this moment.
Maybe wrapped in a blanket,
Maybe curled into a fetal position.
Let your body choose,
Take your time,
Don't rush.
This is also a moment of loving yourself.
And know that emotional discomfort does not need to look calm,
Pretty or regulated.
It is allowed to be messy.
It is allowed to have shaky out-breath,
To change your position,
To move.
It is allowed to cry or whatever you feel in particular moment.
Now,
When you are ready,
Take a deep breath in and let it out with a long,
Loud,
Maybe even untidy exhale,
Again and again.
If you feel like you can let your voice out,
If you have something to say,
Just let it go,
Allowing yourself to arrive,
To arrive home,
To arrive in the present moment,
To arrive in this body.
With each exhale,
Try to relax more into your body,
Let your mind rest in the body and your body resting on the ground.
And as you feel into your body,
What do you notice?
Are there any sensations?
Observe,
How do you call those sensations,
Good or bad or nothing?
Try not to judge anything and just being with whatever it is.
Sometimes it is not just,
It is hard.
So use your breath,
Your exhale to support this moment,
So you can safely connect with your body.
You are safe,
Your body is safe.
If you listen this meditation,
That means that nothing is happening except being.
If you find yourself resisting to relax,
That's okay,
You need time.
For you,
It is not easy to just relax.
As you listen to your thoughts,
What do you sense?
What can you hear?
Simply being aware without reacting.
You can have any thought.
But having thoughts,
It is not the same as being thoughts.
Your thoughts are not your identification.
With each exhale,
Try to observe,
Observing your mind.
What is happening with your emotions?
Is there any emotion coming up?
Can you feel the emotion in your body?
Do you need to move,
Move the energy of emotion through your hands,
Legs,
Your breath?
If you feel,
Try to let it go without suppressing.
How do you feel about what you feel?
Can you be kind?
Can you not judge?
With compassion and curiosity,
Try not to change anything.
Just breathing and feeling,
Observing your mind.
Let it be and let it go.
Let it be and let it go.
Is there any judgment,
Frustration or even hatred towards yourself in this moment?
Is there any resistance to meeting yourself?
Is it hard to love yourself or accept yourself?
Whatever you feel,
Try to stay with it,
Finding your breath as a support.
Your breath can carry so many emotions,
Resistance,
Frustration.
Just let it carry.
If you notice an urge to escape,
See if you can stay.
Love is here in this tough moment.
You don't have to be fixed so you can love yourself.
Loving yourself in this tough moment is what heals.
This moment loves you,
It needs you.
There is no greater love than loving the parts of yourself you wish were different.
This is the love we wanted for so long,
To be loved in tough moments,
With hard emotions.
Stay with a gentle interest,
With tenderness.
Just as a baby needs holding and comfort in the middle of a tantrum,
You too need this loving presence now.
Let the breath hold you from the inside.
Let the ground support your body.
Let this voice remind you of your courage.
You are capable to love yourself in this moment.
I know this is not easy.
And I also know that this moment is ready to offer you love.
It is so full,
Pregnant with love.
A kind of love that might feel uncomfortable.
Because in the past,
These moments were met by changing yourself,
Or fixing yourself.
By becoming obedient,
Successful,
Pleasant,
Or kind,
Even when you did not feel that way.
This is a different kind of love.
A love that welcomes your emotions exactly as they are.
A love that does not ask you to perform or improve.
A love that stays.
Rest here for a few more breaths.
You do not need to be anything else.
You do not need to fix anything.
Just allowing yourself to be held by your breath,
By your body,
By this moment of love.
When you are ready,
Gently return,
Bringing this tenderness with you.
You can look around your room or the place where you are and just feel,
Feel the presence of yourself in this place.
Allow yourself to be different,
To feel different.
You are supposed to change.
You are supposed to change the way you love yourself.
You can do that.
Thank you for being here with me.
