Kill The Ego, Keep The Connection

This session is an invitation to shift from proving… to connecting.

In Kill the Ego, Keep the Connection, Janine explores the subtle but powerful difference between ego and true confidence. Ego seeks validation, comparison, and approval. Confidence is quiet, grounded, and rooted in self-respect.

You’ll begin to notice how often the need to impress, defend, or compete shows up, not as strength, but as protection. And with awareness, you can choose differently.

This session helps you pause, recognize those moments, and return to a more authentic way of relating, one that values presence over performance.

Because people don’t connect to what you have, they connect to how you make them feel.

And real confidence doesn’t need to prove anything.

It simply is.

Transcript

This is a big one. Confidence affects everybody. And what I want to talk tonight about is, You know, The difference between confidence and ego, Which go hand in hand. It's kind of interesting how you think about that, But confidence is behaving in a way that gives us self-respect, Self-love, Self-gratitude, And something that makes you feel like you've impressed yourself other than trying to impress others. That's where the ego steps in and can really play tricks with you. So, For example, When you're in a conversation with someone, Do you find yourself having to tell them what you do for a living, How much you make, How successful you are, What you drive, How big is your house, How much is your house worth, Right? So that is ego. And ego is not a good thing, Right? So when we hear people talk like that, I don't know about you, But I just get a really dirty feeling. I don't like people that flaunt and do that. But self-confidence, When that is self-confidence, Right? You don't need to justify what you do to other people. You feel good about what you're doing and you don't need that self-gratification of telling people what you do, How much money you make, What cars you drive. So that's the main difference is tapping into inner confidence, Knowing how you feel inside and knowing that you have that self-respect and self-love versus that egotistical side. A lot of people get that mixed up and it's hard. It's hard to when in a conversation with someone, If you find that, You know, They're sitting there saying, I do this, I do this, I'm educated in this. And you've right away, You want to say, Oh, Well, I did that too. I'm educated in this as well. And that's the ego trying to be competitive with that other person. So it's a good thing to tap in, Take a deep breath. And when you notice it happening right away, You're going to say, Wow, I didn't realize that that's my ego speaking. I thought I was just trying to be competitive or talking in a conversation, But that's the main difference between confidence and ego. It's interesting when you understand the two, How often you hear other people doing it. Just the other night, We were at an open house and one of, It happened a couple of times, Actually, Several people were bragging about what they do, How much they make, How much money they have. And my husband came back and he said, I was so upset, Really. He didn't say upset, Wasn't the word he used, But he was like, I was, It was disgusting to hear them talk about bragging about how much money they have and how much, You know, Just ego, Right? So he noticed it right away, But he didn't realize that that person is doing that because they don't have the self-confidence, Right? They don't feel comfortable sitting in the moment and talking to people and being self-assured that it doesn't matter how much we have and people don't care, Right? They really don't care when it comes down to it. They don't care how much you have. They don't care how much you're worth. And if they do, They're people that you really don't want to be around. So when you tap into that and you recognize it happening, It's really awesome to sit back and say, Wow, This is what she was talking about, Right? We have the ego coming up versus confidence. And when you can sit back and say, I don't have the desire to tell these people how much I make and how, You know, All of these things that the ego wants to say to be impressed by that other person. It's nice when you can realize and recognize, I feel comfortable listening. Do you do it? Because I'm the first to say I do it. You know, I just got back from a woman's retreat and the first, And a lot of the stuff that came up with me was education. And so I find myself getting very protective of my kids and myself and my husband for that matter, When people feel like you are not worthy or you don't have the means to say or act if you're not educated. So I really tapped into that during the retreat. And it was amazing what I found out because it's all me, Right? No one cares where I went to school. No one cares the college education that I have or I don't have. It was coming from me. And when I really opened that up, It was like, Oh my God, I have been withholding that from myself. And I just cried and cried. And I was able to let that release out and what was really amazing is it happened while I was there with another woman. And she said something about someone that I love very much and said, You know, Oh, She can't do that. She's not educated. And I got protective and my ego stepped in to protect this person I love. And it was interesting that when I realized what was happening after the ego took over, I was like, Oh my God, She set me up for the trap. I fell for it. And watching that play out of the mirror, I held that mirror up and I was like, Holy shit, That the protection mode was for me as well. It's interesting when you're interacting with people, How people communicate and it all has to do with ego and confidence and the difference between the two. And it's amazing when people have confidence, How they act. Yeah. It it's crazy because when you're in the moment doing it right, You're thinking it totally feels like protection mode. But for me, It just feels dirty afterward. It's like, Oh my God, Why did I say that? Didn't feel right. It was gross. It is dirty. It didn't feel right. And now that you're aware of it, You're going to see it happen time and time again, And you're going to see it and recognize it in other people. And knowing the difference, That we're only as good as the knowledge we have, That they're insecure. And that's why they're feeling that they have that need to tell you where they went to school, How much money they make, What cars they drive. Who cares? I mean, Really people want to know what's in here and how you treat them. And there is that saying of, Do unto others as you want done to you and treat others with kindness. And there's so many out there, But it's just so true that, You know, People really don't care what you have. People care how you treat them. And people don't care what degree you have. People care if you love them. People care if you're kind to them.