Take Responsibility

In this talk, you will come to understand what level of responsibility serves your life, and learn in what areas you can take on more responsibility. Your life is not a coincidence, and you are the master of your journey. You will learn that your level of responsibility dictates your level of happiness. The sentence "I am the master of my life" is the most powerful sentence in the world. All development, physical and psychological underlies that one sentence. Without being able to say that sentence, you will aimlessly float in the ocean that is life. (Floating is great, but only sometimes, very rarely.)

Transcript

You've been born into a certain situation with certain parents in a certain village or city.

You were raised in a certain way and you've been wronged and treated unfairly during your childhood.

Maybe sometimes,

Maybe many times,

Maybe even all the time,

But hopefully very rarely.

You might think that your past is partially or fully responsible for your life and I'm here to tell you that you and only you are responsible for your life as it is right now.

So,

Today we're looking at taking on responsibility.

We will try and find out what level of responsibility you already take on.

Our goal then is to understand how taking on more responsibility can serve you.

We will also look at what you should not take responsibility for,

Which is usually anchored around other people's actions.

You will find out that your life is not a coincidence and that you're the master of your journey.

Winston Churchill said,

The price of greatness is responsibility.

So,

Let's have a look at how great you can become.

First of all,

I want to say that for you as an adult,

The only way to start the path towards happiness is to abandon your excuses and take on responsibility.

This might sound obvious,

But it is not obvious looking at the extent to which I want you to take on responsibility.

I want you to take complete responsibility for everything happening in your life.

Don't take responsibility for your past or your childhood,

Nor for other people or their actions.

But do take responsibility for your entire life as it is right now.

Next,

Look around you in this very second.

This is all you.

Everything you see is your responsibility.

The good,

The bad and the ugly.

You created your life.

You decided to be wherever you are at this very moment.

And you can choose what and whom to keep in your life and you can choose what to change.

You're an adult,

You're in control and you're responsible for the life you create.

The more responsibility you can take on,

The easier your development will become and the higher the chances for you to create happiness.

Now,

You might say that there are things that happen in your life that are outside of your control and that you're not responsible for.

I invite you to challenge these thoughts immediately.

They do not serve you.

You're responsible for being present in any situation in your life,

Which makes you at least partially responsible for everything and anything happening in your life.

Let's look at an example that all of us can relate to.

Let us assume you got sick,

You have a little fever.

Now,

Sometimes it is completely obvious where that illness came from.

If you had a massive night out,

Got drunk and walked home half naked through a blizzard,

Chances are you understand why you got sick and you take responsibility.

But let us say you got sick without any apparent reason.

Would you assume your illness happened because of external factors like bacteria,

Viruses,

Change of seasons and so on?

Or would you think your lifestyle and your choices have caused you to become sick?

Outside factors do influence you,

But I firmly believe that these factors are not the biggest reason for you getting sick.

You can go through external factors without becoming sick if you are fully healthy.

And good health comes first and foremost from being fully responsible for your health.

And of course,

Your personal health is just one example of many.

Taking responsibility can serve you in all areas of your life.

Now,

The corporate world you live in and the commercials you absorb want you to think differently.

They support the idea that you are a victim of circumstances,

That you don't need to be responsible for your life and your happiness.

But why would they want you to think of yourself as a victim?

Because only then is the solution for your apparently externally caused problems also external.

And external solutions are nothing other than products.

Buying products of any kind might momentarily help you,

But products will never create long-term health,

Stability,

Growth and happiness.

Now,

The real adjustments towards long-term improvements can only occur when you can say I am completely and utterly responsible for my relationships,

My work,

My whereabouts,

My health,

My entire life and I will take care of myself.

Next,

Increasing your feeling of responsibility will immediately improve your chances of advancing in your career.

People who take responsibility not only make great leaders and trusted colleagues,

But responsible people are also very likely to find collaborators,

No matter if you are a freelancer or work for a company.

People will want to work with you because they know they can trust that you will try your best,

That you will make tough decisions and that you wouldn't care about projects.

Now,

Another advantage of being responsible is that it increases your chances of making quality human connections.

This could be with family,

Friends or romantic connections.

The first reason for that is that people will respect you more.

When you are a responsible person,

Other people will stop blaming you and start supporting you.

Also,

Responsibility allows for your conflict to be solved in a healthy way because you will also see your fault in a conflict.

This will allow you to be empathetic and other people will react positively to that.

Also,

The strength and stability you gain with your new mindset are attractive to others.

Nobody wants to be around a train wreck for too long.

People only want to connect to you on a deeper level when you are stable and responsible.

Now,

Why would taking on responsibility for your life make you immediately more happy than being irresponsible and carefree?

That is because in order to be happy,

You need to be able to create a life that caters for your specific needs and wants.

And for that to happen,

You need to be in control of your life first.

When you are not taking on responsibility,

You are immediately diminishing the control you have of your life.

Being responsible for your emotions,

Actions,

Health,

Choices,

Whereabouts and so on will make you gain control of your life.

If you want to change some aspects of your life and create long-term improvements,

Then gain control first by taking on responsibility.

Now,

I want to mention some general actions,

Attitudes and traits around increasing your responsibility that might serve you.

First of all,

Never blame other people for anything that is happening to you.

See other people for who they truly are and then take responsibility for being involved with them in the first place.

The second action is to be very careful with making excuses.

Challenge yourself to say the sentence,

I'm not able to take responsibility yet for XYZ,

Instead of saying,

I can't do this because I am XYZ.

An example would be the following,

I'm not able to take responsibility yet for postponing the start of my freelance career,

Instead of saying,

I can't be a freelancer because I'm not that type of person.

Lastly,

I want to recommend doing what you say you will do and seldomly complain.

This will help increase your feeling of responsibility immensely.

Now,

Let us look at the practical exercises today.

I would like to invite you to write down three issues or events from your life that you are often thinking about or that still bother you.

Then I want you to write down how much responsibility you can take for these three.

Make sure that these are three different examples from different areas in your life.

For example,

A small issue at work,

A fight with a partner and your stomach ache that keeps coming back.

Pause the course now and come back to it when you've written your thoughts and observations regarding taking on responsibility for your three examples.

Now,

I would like to invite you to write down any ideas you have about how the feeling of responsibility can serve you in your three examples.

Write down the positive effects of taking on responsibility.

Make sure you're always starting with this sentence,

When I take responsibility for X,

Y,

Z,

Then X,

Y,

Z will happen.

Again,

Pause the course now and come back to it when you've done the second part.

During the next few days or during this week,

I would like to invite you to say the following sentence multiple times per day.

I am responsible for this.

Say this sentence in your mind or out loud as often as you can.

Say it for big things,

Small things,

Good things,

Bad things,

Mundane things,

Anything.

As often as you can say,

I am responsible for this.

During the next few days or during this week,

I would like to invite you to say the following sentence multiple times per day.

I am responsible for this.

Say this sentence in your mind or out loud as often as you can.

Say it for big things,

Small things,

Good things,

Bad things,

Mundane things,

Anything.

As often as you can say,

I am responsible for this.

And please make a calendar entry now for when you will continue this course.

It can be in a couple of days or a week,

But please set a reminder now so that you will stay on your path.