Letting Go Of The Painful Stories You Tell Yourself

We often tell ourselves stories that are oversimplified, exaggerated, emotionally reactive, and painful. Identifying and releasing these painful stories or projections can free us from our suffering. This track will teach you to let go of stress and negative emotions by helping you understand how your beliefs, projections, and stories define the way you feel. It will also give you a journaling practice that you can use to identify and release the assumptions that are causing your pain.

Please note: This audio is ripped from a video.

Transcript

So, What we're going to teach in this video is that, I mean, To get right down to it, All feelings, All emotions can be traced back to some thought or projection or assumption or something we're imagining in that moment. Hello and welcome. After this video, You'll be able to answer some really important questions, Really helpful questions, Such as, What is causing the way that I feel? And how can I release whatever negative emotion I'm feeling right now? How important to be able to do that on your own, To be able to release any negative emotion you're feeling? How important for adults and children, Teenagers and older people to be able to have a say in whether they feel sad or depressed or lonely or joyful and at peace? So this video is meant to help people experience more joy, More inner peace, And less suffering, Less negative thoughts, Less negative emotions. By providing a technique and some understandings and teachings that can help anyone understand themselves more deeply and choose to feel better. In life, It's common for just within one day to have lots of ups and downs. Maybe sometimes we'll feel excited and happy or in love. And then at some point throughout the day, Maybe we'll feel a bit lonely or depressed, Sad or angry. It's very normal. Just because it's normal doesn't mean it's necessary. And it doesn't mean there's nothing we can do about it. Through conscious self-awareness, Which this video and others like it are intended to help provide and teach. Through this conscious self-awareness, We can have a lot more influence and free will power in our lives, A lot more capacity to experience joy and harmonious relationships and high quality results. Our days can become more and more filled with inner peace rather than a process of stress or worry or anxiety. So what we're going to teach in this video is that, I mean to get right down to it, All feelings, All emotions can be traced back to some thought or projection or assumption or something we're imagining in that moment. And scientists have discovered that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So it sends the signals that release the chemicals that create the experience of emotions. It goes through that process regardless of whether what you're imagining is actually happening in front of you or if it's just something you're imagining. You might connect to this if the last time you saw a thrilling movie or a war movie or a suspenseful movie, How you may have felt your heart rate increase and got pulled into the movie. The subconscious mind doesn't know the difference so it's going to produce those chemicals and emotions based on whatever you're imagining. Another example that you might be able to relate to that helps you feel how what we feel is based on what we're imagining is if you could imagine yourself walking through a nice park, Going for a nice walk in a park. And as you walk into the park you're just enjoying the beautiful trees and your mind is calm and empty. You're not thinking about anything. Then all of a sudden you remember this conflict you recently had with someone and the things that they said and the things that you said. You begin to feel upset or angry. Nothing changed in the park. At one point you were feeling at peace, Enjoying the walk, Enjoying the beautiful trees. Then all that changed was that you imagined something. And then all of a sudden you felt upset and angry and the trees weren't so beautiful anymore. And the strangers in the park didn't seem so nice to be around or friendly anymore. By just imagining something, Your entire experience of life changed. And by the way, What you were remembering wasn't even the real experience. You weren't remembering a whole truth. You were simply remembering your recorded, Memorized, Interpretations of the experience. Which isn't the whole thing. When the experience happened, You were interpreting it and you were remembering those interpretations. So let's say you kept walking in the park after remembering these memories or recorded interpretations. And then you began to think about the future vacation you have. A vacation you have coming up on the beautiful beach and your favorite place to go. All of a sudden the feelings and thoughts about the conflict go away and now you're feeling happy and excited again. And then the trees in the park look beautiful again and all the strangers in the park are wonderful again. So when we feel a certain way, We tend to assume that if we feel it, It must be true. When actually if we feel it, It just means that there's something that we're imagining or projecting or assuming to be true. That our subconscious mind is reacting to and that our emotions are reacting to. How important is that to understand? If you can understand this, Then you can find a path out of any and all negative emotions and feelings. By simply understanding, Finding, Defining, Becoming self-aware of, Identifying whatever you're projecting or imagining in that moment is happening. And if you can free yourself from that, From that assumption, From that projection, From whatever you're imagining, Then you can be free from the negative emotion. And it's hard for many people to let go of the story that they've been telling themselves about what is real. And sometimes the story has been passed down in their family from generation to generation or even in the whole of humanity. And so letting go of that story isn't always easy. Inevitably though, You'll be able to find some way in which that story is not the complete truth or the whole truth. Because there is no negative emotion, There is no negative feeling that truly links back to a truth, Meaning that all negative emotions come from misunderstanding. The assumptions, The stories, The things we imagine that cause our negative emotions, These are always some form of half-truths or incomplete or inaccurate or exaggerated. Whenever someone has a negative emotion, For example, In a relationship, They'll usually be projecting something like, Oh, My partner never does this, Or my partner always does that. So if you were to really question that assumption that's causing the negative emotion, You would discover that that always is an exaggeration or the never is an exaggeration and that upon closer inspection, There are some times when they do do that nice thing you want them to do. All of our negative emotions come from some type of oversimplified generalization or black-and-white assumption or story that we've been telling ourselves and assuming to be true. And that's why our subconscious mind is releasing the signals and chemicals that create the emotional experience that would supposedly prepare us for that unwanted future, That unwanted image, That unwanted situation, The fight-or-fight response. And this is part of what it's like to live in a stress and survival mindset. The stress and survival mindset will make assumptions, Create stories, Imagine things that are oftentimes problematic or worst-case scenarios. This is also known as the problem mindset. The issue with this approach to life is that if we begin to see everything as potential problems, Then our subconscious mind is going to constantly be sending the message to our body that, Hey, We're in danger, There's problems around, And it's going to start to send the blood to our extremities to prepare us for a fight-or-flight response. That blood is going to leave our organs and go to our extremities instead, And therefore the blood will not be nourishing the most, Our vital organs, Our heart rate will go up, Our stress levels will go up. This is the issue with the problem mindset, With the stress and survival mindset that we've all been conditioned to just by living in this society. If you look at humanity as the species that it is, With the group mind that it has, Then you would see that humanity is still evolving out of stress and survival mindset. And the way that happens is by individuals like you in humanity becoming conscious enough to free themselves from that process, From that previous approach to life, And for them to adopt a new approach to life of no longer seeing everything as problems, Possibly beginning to see all of life as an opportunity, An opportunity to experience life in a body, With all of its different experiences and learning opportunities and opportunities for joy and love. That way, If we begin to see life that way, We're no longer signaling to our body that we're in danger constantly. And as a matter of fact, We actually have more capacity to wisely navigate life, Not less, Because we're at peace, And in peace, Rather than in stress and survival, We can more easily see an optimal path. There's more clarity. We have more discernment when we're at peace. We have less attachment and aversion, Less bias. There's less emotional reactivity. And you know, Whenever they teach an athlete, Whenever a coach trains an athlete for high performance, They never say, Okay, Now tense up right before you do this. They teach them to relax so that they can perform at the highest levels. So with any moment that you feel negative, That you feel upset or angry, It is possible to ask yourself, What am I projecting right now? What am I imagining right now? What am I assuming to be true right now that is causing me to feel this way? And you can do this with a journal and begin to write down all of the things that you're imagining, Assuming or projecting to be true. In fact, Here is a technique or a practice, A journaling practice that you can use for this. And people of all ages can apply this. So you can teach this to your kids if you have them. At the bottom of the page, You write down whatever the emotion you're feeling is. Oh, I feel upset. I feel really angry. I feel afraid. So you write that down at the bottom of the page. And then you write, You make a little arrow pointing downwards towards that. And then above this arrow and above that feeling, You begin to write all of the imaginings, All of the thoughts, All of the assumptions, All of the projections, Everything you're imagining to be true that is then leading to that emotional reaction in your system. And then you'll have a list of the reality you're imagining that is holding in place that emotion and that feeling. Then the only thing left to do is to then go one by one and to see, Is it really true? Each of these assumptions, Are they really true? Are they the whole truth? And what you'll find is that each assumption is like trying to catch a waterfall in a little Dixie cup, You know, Those little paper cups. You can't possibly catch a waterfall in a little Dixie cup. There's so much to the waterfall. There's so much water. If you imagine the Niagara Falls, And that's, In this metaphor, That's a representation of reality or the entirety of truth. And our assumptions are like this little cup that we're trying to catch. This little cup that we're trying to catch reality in. And so if we can question those assumptions, If we can introspect and contemplate what we're assuming to be true, And we can realize that those assumptions are actually not the whole truth, That they're incomplete, If we can truly fundamentally realize that and let them go, Then you will be free from the negative emotion. You will have freed yourself from it. And that's a very empowering thing because, First of all, You'll feel more joy and peace in your life, You'll feel better, Happier. Second of all, If you're no longer feeling that negative emotion, And no longer operating from the misunderstandings that we're creating it, Then that negative emotion is no longer going to affect you, Either in your work or in your relationship or in regards to your health or diet or whatever it is that that negative emotion was about. And so just by releasing that negative emotion, You've put yourself on a whole new trajectory. You may have heard that when you move a grain of sand on the beach, You've changed the history of the world. Well, The same goes for whenever you've questioned your assumptions, Introspected and worked towards releasing a negative emotion or perspective, You change your path completely. And so that means that you'll be a different person that day for the rest of that day and in the following week and in a year from then and 10 years from then you could be in a totally different place. So a lot of people might have difficulty at first getting in touch with what they've been imagining or projecting or believing or assuming. Many people might, For example, Assume all that to simply have been facts, What has been imagining, The truth, The reality, And they won't at first be able to see their layer of projection onto reality. And it can be uncomfortable to become consciously self-aware of how what we've been assuming to be true has actually been our own beliefs and imaginings and projections. And this is part of the process of becoming consciously self-aware of what has previously been subconscious. And it's actually a very beneficial thing to do because you might have heard the conscious mind is only 5% of the mind and the subconscious mind is 95% of the mind. And so if we can become more consciously self-aware of our subconscious projections, Assumptions, Beliefs, Imaginings, Then we gain access to 95% of the influence in our lives. And so we can become that much more empowered and that much more conscious. And we can consciously navigate our path and get the results that we consciously choose rather than letting our subconscious programs and beliefs and projections, 95% of our mind, Rather than letting that determine the outcomes, Rather than letting our past conditioning determine the outcomes. And so to do this process, It requires being willing to enter into the land of the unknown, Into the land of uncertainty, So that in that land we might discover something new about ourselves. Why do I say this? Because of course if you knew that the assumption or projection or imagination or story that you were telling yourself and assuming to be true was not, Well then you wouldn't be experiencing the negative emotion. And so that's why we must go into the unknown. We must go into the subconscious mind. We must go into a place in ourselves where we're willing to say, Wow, Before this I was assuming this and now I realize that that wasn't the whole truth. Meaning it's not just about intellectually saying, Oh, I'm just projecting this. I'm imagining this. It's also about really allowing yourself to feel what you feel and to really allow yourself to feel whatever story and whatever belief or images or movie you're projecting. Because that's going to be really the best way to accurately identify it. To accurately and precisely identify what you've been projecting. And accuracy and precision are important in this process. Because if you can accurately and precisely realize whatever you've been projecting that's been causing your emotions, Then you have a very good chance of being able to simply realize that that has not been the whole truth and of letting it go. So that accuracy and precision, It does require being willing to feel what you feel. And a lot of people don't want to feel what they feel. They'd rather suppress it or repress it or distract away from it. And unfortunately that doesn't work. Because whatever we repress or suppress or try to distract away from, It tends to come up in a more dramatic fashion. If we proactively work with these parts of ourselves, These subconscious parts, Then we can manage them and reduce their influence, Become more conscious, And get the results that we want. And in this case, That could be, For example, Feeling more joy and inner peace and less suffering, Less negative thoughts, Less negative emotions. So here's what that process would look and feel like. Well, Let's say that you felt a negative emotion come up. Maybe you felt sad or angry or upset or anxious. And so rather than react from it and say, Oh, I gotta go do this or I gotta, Or yell at the person you love or leave the house in anger, Rather than react from the negative emotion, You could, If you wanted to, If you consciously chose to, You could simply allow yourself to observe and become aware of the negative emotion. And so you might just relax. If you had privacy and you could sit down, Maybe you would close your eyes. If not, You could do this in real time, Maybe while doing the dishes or whenever this came up. And you would begin to allow yourself to feel the anger that you felt. For example, We're using anger in this case as an example. And you would do so without judging it. You would simply accept it. Oh, I'm feeling angry right now. Hmm. And what are the projections that I'm making that are causing me to feel angry? What am I assuming to be true right now that's causing my subconscious mind to send the signals of anger to my system? What am I, What story am I telling myself about what's happening? So let's take the example of being angry at your partner. Maybe as you sit with your anger, You would find really allowing yourself to feel what you feel. Maybe you would find this voice in your head deep, Deep down inside, This little voice, This whisper, Because it's usually often more subconscious. Maybe this whisper says, They never care about me. So if you found that, You know you found a projection that's leading to the negative emotion that you're experiencing. The next step would be to say, Is that really true that they never care about me? Can I think maybe of something of some time where they were very caring towards me and they did care about me and how many ways that they care about me can I think about? How many times that they've cared about me can I remember? And if you can do that process and you can accept, Realize and receive all those times that they cared about you, Then you can in that moment realize that your negative emotion was based on a misunderstanding. And if the anger is still there after, Then move on to the maybe to find another projection. Let's see. Maybe you felt also as you felt that anger, Not only did you feel like they never cared about me, Maybe you also felt that they never do what you ask. They never honor your requests. And so if you look at that statement, You immediately see, Oh, Never, That must be an oversimplification. It must be an exaggeration. It must be a generalization. So then you can question it. You can say, Well, When is the time where they did honor my request? And how many times can I become aware of that they did honor my request? In this way, You're recognizing the inaccuracy of your assumptions, Of your projections. The very same ones that are causing the negative emotions, The very same ones that would cause you to yell at your partner, Or say I want to break up, Or say something else that's hurtful. The very same ones where in a different context might cause you to want to quit your job, Or not go for to work out, Or eat something really unhealthy, Or force yourself to eat way too healthy. All imbalances in life stem from misunderstanding. And if we can identify those misunderstandings, If we can consciously do so and recognize them to be what they are, Then we can receive better and better results, And we can become more conscious and evolve. A great spiritual teacher said, Seeing the false as false is meditation. And so this process is a real life meditation process, Not just one that you do while sitting down in a pose, But one that you can do in real time. Just a few things I wanted to add. First, This technique is one approach to resolving negative emotions and negative feelings. And as you learn more approaches and techniques, You'll have a more complete tool set for resolving those negative feelings. Second, You don't have to wait until you're sitting down at night or in the morning or whenever you journal. You don't have to wait until you're sitting down with your journal to use this process. You can do it in real time while having, For example, A challenging interaction with someone. Like if you're at the store and the person behind the counter isn't being kind and you feel yourself getting upset, You can ask yourself to yourself in that moment, You can ask, Huh, What am I projecting right now? What am I imagining right now that's causing me to not be as kind as I could be to this person? And of course you can do that in your relationship with your significant other, With your partner. You can do it in conversation with a boss or a colleague, A child. You can do it if while you're working you feel stressed. You can ask yourself, What am I projecting right now about work, About life? What am I imagining that's causing me to be stressed rather than relaxed while working? And then you question those imaginings, Those projections. You realize that they are incomplete truths and you realize then the whole truth, The bigger picture that allows for peace to happen. Inner peace. And as you do this, In so doing, What you're doing is you're turning life into meditation. Meditation then no longer becomes something that you do for 10 or 30 minutes or an hour a day when you do it. It becomes part of life. Life becomes the meditation. And in a way, It is possible to see everything that comes up in life as a part of our meditation process and our evolutionary process. And if one did choose to receive and process life in that way, The relationships and things that happen in life in that way, Then life would become one big process of learning and meditation and learning to have joy and inner peace. And oftentimes the things that happen in our lives are very, Even when they're challenging or painful, They can often be very educational. And the things that they teach us can be very, Very helpful for us in other areas of our lives, Usually in ways that are very worth it. So in the beginning of this video, We mentioned that you would be able to answer these questions. The question of, Why do I feel the way that I feel and what is causing me to feel this way and how can I release any negative emotion or feeling? And with this video now you understand that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what we imagine. And so it sends the signals that creates the chemicals that creates the emotional experience. It sends that to our body. Regardless of whether what we're imagining is real or not. And that whole process, That chemical and emotional response is responding to what we're imagining to be true. What we're assuming to be true, What we're projecting is real. And so that answers the first question, Which is, Why do we feel what we feel? Well, We feel what we feel because of some story we're telling ourselves, Some projection, Some assumption. And the second question is, How can we release any negative emotion? And as you learned in this video, One way is to get in touch with whatever you've been assuming or projecting or imagining and realizing how those assumptions weren't the whole truth and maybe some of them were actually inaccurate. And then actually being able to let go of them completely and replacing them with a bigger picture perspective. If you do that, Then your subconscious mind is no longer sending those signals to your body that creates the negative emotions and feelings. And of course, You'll be operating from a more conscious vantage point. So here's a journaling process that you can use for this. And I'll describe it in case you're not watching this in video form, You might be listening to an audio file of this. So I'll describe it so that you can understand how to do it, Whether you're watching this in video and you can see the example on paper here, Or if you're just listening. So of course, First you start with the negative feeling or negative emotion that you have. Maybe it's an ongoing feeling you have in your relationship. Maybe it's an ongoing feeling you have in life or something you feel in the morning or something you feel at night or something you feel in regards to work or in regards to yourself. And just as an example, In this example, We'll use the, Let's say you feel upset and angry. So you would write down at the very bottom left of the paper, I feel upset and angry. And you would put a little down arrow above that pointing down to it, Pointing down to that feeling. And you would separate the paper into two columns, A left column and a right column. And on the left hand side, You would have at the bottom of it, This down arrow pointing down to I feel upset and angry. And at the very top of that column, You would write again the way you feel, I feel upset and angry. And you would add to that, You would add these words, Because I'm projecting that dot dot dot. So at the very top left, You would write out these words, I feel upset and angry because I'm projecting that dot dot dot. And then beneath that, You would just finish that sentence with the different things you're projecting. So you might finish that sentence with, For example, I'll never be happy. I feel upset and angry because I'm projecting that I'll never be happy. And doing this requires sort of introspecting and relaxing and being willing to become aware of these parts of yourself. And sometimes they're subtle, So don't just answer this intellectually. Try to go beneath the surface and to really feel what you've been projecting, Feel what you've been feeling about this. So eventually what you'll have is a list on the left hand column of all of the projections that you've been making that have been causing you to feel upset and angry, Or whatever it is that you're feeling when you do it. So you might also have, For example, My partner doesn't care about me. That might be one of the projections. Another one might be, I'm all alone. And the method to surface these projections for you to become aware of them is to just finish this sentence that you wrote at the very top of the left hand column. I feel upset and angry because I'm projecting that. . . So you just start that and you see what comes up in your system, In your mind, And in your feelings. Maybe I'm going to run out of money. Maybe that's the projection that's causing you to feel upset and angry. So once you've done that, You should have on the left hand column a list of those projections and then a down arrow pointing down to the feeling. And that helps you really realize and understand and integrate that it's these projections that are causing you to feel upset and angry. Then if you can let go of those projections, Then you can be free from that negative feeling or emotion. So now in the right hand column, At the top right of it, You write down, What does my highest conscious wisdom and discernment say about this or understand about this? So what you're doing, This column is very important. What you're doing here is you're going back and looking, Taking an inventory of your projections and then re-examining them, Re-evaluating them from the vantage point of your highest perspectives, From your highest conscious wisdom and discernment, From your most conscious and intentional parts here, Re-evaluating the projections and assumptions you've been making so that you can let go of the lesser truths and adopt the greater truths. Letting go of the lesser truths that have been causing your suffering and embracing the greater truths that free you from that suffering and help you make the wisest choices in your life and to feel better. So for example, If the projection was I'll never be happy, Well, What you could write down in the right hand column, Which is the column for your highest vantage points, Your highest perspectives, Your highest conscious wisdom and discernment might say, Well, You know what? Never is an exaggeration. It's a generalization. It's a black and white sort of word. I definitely will have times in the future when I feel happy, Even though I may not be feeling happy at this moment. That doesn't mean that I'll never be happy. I'll probably be happy again when I stop projecting these negative things that I'm projecting onto my future. In fact, As I do this, I'm feeling better already. That could be something you could write into your right hand column next to I'll never be happy. Let's take the next one. My partner doesn't care about me. Let's say that was a projection you were making that is causing you to feel upset and angry. Well, In the right hand column, As you apply your highest conscious wisdom and discernment, You might write something like this. This is a pretty black and white statement. My partner doesn't care about me. That's pretty black and white. The bigger picture is that, Like everyone, Sometimes my partner is stressed and afraid and doesn't have the bandwidth to give attention to what I prefer. That doesn't mean they don't care about me. Certainly there are many times when they've, When even though they're stressed, They've gone far out of their way to be caring towards me and do things for me that are very kind. Then you might want to, In that column, Just list a few of those examples. You could do this for each of the projections that you're making. What that's doing is it's helping you see things from a more complete picture so that you can operate from, With clarity about what is, Not from a sense of fear or worry about your sort of emotionally reactive assumptions and projections. When you do that, You'll feel so much better and you'll say things and do things that are going to be very constructive rather than destructive. Once you've finished your right hand column and you've reevaluated all of your prior assumptions that were causing your negative emotions, You've reevaluated them based on your highest conscious wisdom and discernment, Then you draw a little down arrow again and you write how you feel now after accepting all these greater perspectives, These greater truths from your highest conscious wisdom and discernment. After you read everything, Then you do this little down arrow and you write down, I feel like I have many options and I want to go tell my partner I love them. Maybe that's how you would feel. That's just an example. Please write down for you what it is that you would feel, What it is that you feel after accepting those, That greater picture. I imagine you would feel much better. I hope you really, Really enjoy this practice and that it benefits you. I also hope that depending on where you're listening to this or viewing this, If there's a place for comments, That you leave some comments about your experience, Especially if it was helpful because that can help a lot of other people too who are going about this process of conscious self-awareness and congratulations because it's a very empowering thing and a freeing thing too and an intentional thing to go about this process. Something to celebrate. Now this can be challenging because we're often pretty attached to our assumptions and our beliefs and the story. That said, If you do this, You will find that you are freeing yourself from a lot of unnecessary suffering and that you'll actually be more empowered than ever before to manage consciously and intentionally whatever was going on and that those assumptions, Those beliefs, That story you were telling yourself was not necessary to consciously manage and intentionally manage whatever it is that you're attempting to manage. And that being able to manage those things from a place of inner peace will lead to far better results. So now you have the answers to those questions and you have received in this video a very important, Fundamental, And highly applicable understanding that can go very deep and can help you release negative emotions that you can feel joy and inner peace more consistently and that can help you help others, Children, Teenagers, Adults, Grandparents, Whenever they have negative emotions and they're willing to go through this process. Do be aware that many people will not want to question their assumptions and their story, That they will cling to their story as if their life depends on it. And that is more of the stress and survival mindset. People do create the stories they create and the assumptions they create because in some part of themselves it feels safe to them, Even if it means fighting or flighting. So don't push this process onto anyone. If you're ready for this type of process, Then do enjoy the benefits of it. And we'll talk more about this in future videos and also more about what causes people to make the assumptions that they make and tell themselves the stories that they tell themselves and we'll be covering a lot more in future videos. I hope that this was helpful to you, That you enjoy this video and that you'll find an experience in future that you have more joy, More inner peace and the next time you have a negative emotion that maybe you'll sit down and go through this process of writing down the assumptions and questioning them and realizing the bigger picture. Many blessings. I hope this has been helpful to you. And look for quiz number one. If you enjoy this, Then you might also enjoy our online classes and private consultations. We'd like to give a special thank you to our wonderful spiritual teacher, John Jones, For all that he has taught us. If you enjoy this, Then you might also enjoy our online classes and private consultations. We'd like to give a special thank you to our wonderful spiritual teacher, John Jones, For all that he has taught us.

Reviews

Wow great tools in a digestible lesson. TY, much love

Lots to think about here.

This came at such a needed time 🙏 thank you for this, as it helped me calm down from churning thoughts and panic 🙏❤️✨🪷blessings to you and may we all heal