This is a guided audio journey to assist you in healing from the fear of saying no and of having boundaries.
Before beginning,
We're going to set up the space so that you're as comfortable as possible.
You can sit comfortably or lie down.
If you fall asleep during the journey,
That's okay,
But you're going to get the maximum benefits by listening consciously all the way through.
So if you do fall asleep,
Just return to the audio another time.
You can even take this journey sat with a journal and write down what comes up as we work through.
In this journey,
We're going to be accessing memories that might hold a lot of emotion for you.
This is absolutely okay and what we're here to work through.
But if at any point the feelings are too intense,
You can keep something comforting that helps you feel safe nearby and stop the audio at any point.
To start,
It's important to define what the fear of saying no or the fear of having boundaries is and to get an understanding of how this fear might impact you.
Living with this wound might feel incredibly draining because it feels as though the most important thing is to put everybody else's needs first.
You might automatically say yes to doing things that you don't have the time or the energy for or things that you simply don't want to do.
The thought of saying no or expressing your true feelings might fill you with a sense of guilt.
You might feel as though this sense of guilt is signalling to you that wanting to have a boundary or to say no is wrong.
Or that you might be deeply hurting or disappointing someone by saying no or by expressing your needs in the situation.
This means you essentially end up living according to everyone else's needs.
You might struggle to know what you truly want or what your needs are.
You might feel that you have no needs at all and that you're only valuable because of how much you give to others.
Or you might feel a perpetual sense of resentment and bitterness towards people you perceive as taking advantage of you.
In general,
It feels unsafe to express your needs and to say no.
The fear of saying no and of having personal boundaries often begins in childhood and the early teens.
People with this wound might have had a close attachment relationship with someone who didn't respect their boundaries and where it didn't feel safe to express needs.
Or you might have felt that saying no meant that something negative would happen.
As a child,
Our primary need is for attachment and belonging.
So out of survival,
To protect close attachment relationships,
People with this wound may have begun to unconsciously suppress their needs and may have learned not to communicate what they were truly feeling inside.
I want you to know that as difficult as it feels to carry this wound and to suppress your needs now as an adult,
Doing so as a child did serve you because it helped you survive these attachment relationships.
My hope is through this journey,
You'll start to understand that it's now safe to say no.
To have boundaries and to express your needs.
Take some time now to think of the best words that describe this wound of being afraid to say no.
So it might sound like saying no is wrong.
I shouldn't want to say no.
I'm scared to say no.
Or any other words that resonate for you.
Now as you think of these words,
Drop down into your body and notice what happens when you're thinking of this belief.
Where is it living?
Does this feeling have a colour,
Texture or a shape?
Could it be likened to an object?
Turn the dial up on this feeling,
Inviting it into your body.
The feelings might be uncomfortable,
But they're safe to feel.
Now as you hold this feeling in your body,
Let your mind float back and land on the earliest memory you have when you first had this feeling,
Along with the words that best describe the wound.
Hold this memory in your mind now,
And really examine it.
How old are you,
Who's involved and what's happening?
Now you're going to enter the scene of this memory as your adult self.
Approach the younger you with compassion,
Ready to hear whatever they have to say.
How is the younger version of you feeling?
A thumbs up is absolutely okay.
Now you're going to ask this version of you what they need.
Do they need the adult you to hear something,
Or to do something?
Or do they need to hear something from you?
Whatever it is,
Offer it now.
So just notice what happens in the scene,
And allow all the feelings to be felt.
Let the scene play out until whatever your younger self needed has brought them to a state of calm and peace.
Thank your younger self for helping you get through this time by carrying these beliefs and protecting your relationships.
Let them know that the present time,
Where you are as an adult,
Is different.
You no longer have to suppress your needs.
Take the hand of your younger self now,
And gently walk them into the present moment with you.
Welcome this part of you with love.
The emotion of love is felt in the heart chakra,
Which is located in the centre of the chest and is associated with the colour green.
We're going to focus on this area now as we sit with all parts of yourself,
Allowing them all to be there.
Visualise a warm,
Glowing green light surrounding your heart centre.
Remind all parts of yourself that you don't have to be burdened by the past any longer,
And that you get to choose the kind of life you want to live.
It is fair and safe to ask for what you need.
You deserve to protect your wellbeing.
And,
You get to choose relationships where your feelings are respected.
Let these words radiate through you now,
Filling every cell in your body.
If you've been in a meditation for this practice,
Gently bring yourself back into the room when you feel ready,
Wiggling your fingers and toes,
Opening your eyes,
Feeling content and whole.
