Hello and welcome.
The Two Arrows.
The Buddha has a teaching on the parable of the Two Arrows.
It's a simple parable,
But deeply impactful.
There have been many times where I've fallen prey to the second arrow.
The Buddha recounted that when we have a painful experience,
Be that an illness,
Losing a loved one,
A criticism,
Or a disappointment,
It's like being struck by an arrow.
That is the first arrow,
And it is unavoidable.
Pain,
Sorrow,
Difficulty are all part of being human,
And everyone experiences them.
However,
The Buddha said most of us are struck by a second arrow.
This is when we layer on our thoughts,
Feelings,
And emotions on top of the original experience,
And we judge and berate ourselves for our reactions to it.
We cannot escape the pain of what happened,
But we have agency on how we react to what has happened.
I was in my car the other week and got caught up in a traffic jam.
I could feel the anger and frustration welling up within me,
And my heart was pounding.
My face was flushed and I had sweaty palms.
How dare they stop me from getting to my destination on time,
I thought.
Yes,
I was fighting reality and creating the second arrow.
After the event,
I was able to rationalise it,
And I took a few deep belly breaths to calm my nervous system.
It reminded me that mindfulness invites us to pause between the first and second arrows.
I can feel into the pain of the first arrow and say,
This is tough,
Go easy on yourself.
Without the story that goes along with it,
We begin to see that we cannot control what happens,
But we can choose how we relate to it.
There is freedom in that.
So the next time you notice difficulty,
Can you take a gentle pause and ask yourself,
Is this the first arrow or the second one?
If it's the second arrow,
You can choose to put it down and feel into the sensations in the body,
However raw or tender they are.
There is a certain peace to this.
Each time you do this,
You step nearer to freedom.
May we all learn to patiently and gently put down the second arrow,
To meet life as it is,
With awareness and compassion and with peace.
