ADHD And Self-Trust: Learning To Believe In Yourself Again

Hey there,

Welcome in.

Today I want to talk about something that often gets lost underneath all of those ADHD experiences.

And that's self trots.

Many people with ADHD don't just struggle with attention,

Organization,

Or follow through.

We struggle to trust ourselves.

Maybe you've made plans and not followed through.

Maybe you've forgotten things that felt important.

Maybe you started projects with a lot of excitement and then lost momentum.

Maybe you've promised yourself over and over that this time won't be different.

And when things don't go as planned,

You start losing confidence in yourself.

Over time,

This can create a painful internal narrative.

We begin questioning ourselves.

Can I trust myself to remember,

To follow through,

To stay consistent?

Can I trust myself to do what I say I'm going to do?

And if enough disappointments pile up,

It becomes easy to believe that the answer is no.

But I'd like to offer a different perspective.

What if the issue isn't that you're untrustworthy?

What if you've been measuring trust in a way that doesn't fit how your brain works?

Most people think trust is built by being perfect.

Never forgetting,

Never struggling,

Never making mistakes.

But that's not how trust works in healthy relationships.

Think about someone who you deeply trust.

Do you trust them because they're flawless?

Probably not.

You trust them because they show up.

Because when mistakes happen,

They take responsibility.

They repair.

They remain in relationship with you.

Trust isn't built through perfection.

Crust is actually built through.

Disappointment,

Consistency,

And repair.

And the same is true in your relationship with yourself.

Many people with ADHD unintentionally abandon themselves when they struggle.

The inner dialogue sounds something like.

Here we go again.

I knew I couldn't do it.

I'll never figure this out.

But imagine if a close friend came to you after making a mistake.

What do you immediately tell them that they're hopeless?

Would you tell them you'll never believe in them again?

Of course not.

You would probably help them regroup.

It would help them figure out what happened.

And you would encourage them to try again.

Many of us don't offer that same support to ourselves.

Instead,

We withdraw trust entirely.

So today I'd like to share one simple practice.

Is called Keeping Small Promises.

Many people with ADHD have spent years making large promises to themselves.

Tomorrow I'll completely change my routine.

I'm going to get the whole house organized.

I'm going to do yoga every night.

I'm going to stay on top of everything.

The intention is good.

But when those goals become overwhelming or we miss one small piece,

It's easy to fall short.

And then we start reinforcing that story that we can't believe or trust ourselves.

So instead,

Start smaller.

Much smaller.

Ask yourself,

What's one promise I can realistically keep today?

Maybe it's drinking a glass of water when you wake up.

Maybe it's taking a five minute walk.

Maybe it's spending two minutes on that task that you've been avoiding.

Or going to bed 10 minutes earlier tonight.

The goal isn't to impress yourself with perfection.

Is to create evidence.

Evidence that you can make a commitment and you can follow through.

Evidence that you are capable.

Evidence that trust can be rebuilt.

And if you don't follow through perfectly.

Practice repair with yourself instead of punishment.

Notice what happened.

Get curious.

Adjust.

Try again.

Because trust isn't damaged by mistakes.

Trust is damaged when we stop showing up for ourselves after we make mistakes.

As I close,

I'd love to acknowledge something really important.

Living with ADHD can be exhausting.

Many of us spent years feeling misunderstood.

Years believing that we're lazy,

Irresponsible,

Too emotional.

Too much or not enough.

But there's one message I hope that you're hearing throughout these videos on ADHD.

Your symptoms are not your identity.

Your struggles do not define you.

And you don't need to become a different person in order to deserve compassion,

Understanding,

And support.

The goal is never to fight your brain.

The goal is to learn how to work with it,

To understand it,

To support it.

And to build a relationship with yourself that's rooted in curiosity.

Rather than criticism.

So I'd love it if you would reflect on one question today.

What would you change?

By listening to yourself as someone worthy of your own trust.

Not someday.

Not when you're more productive,

Not when you're more organized or perfect,

But today.

Exactly as you are.

Thank you so much for joining me.

And remember,

You don't have to be perfect to trust yourself.

By simply coming back again and again with patience,

Understanding,

And compassion.

You can build that trust over time.

Thanks so much for joining me.

I look forward to seeing you around soon.